Craig walked down the street grumbling, Kenny just died and he was fed up with the kid dieing when they were supposed to work on his television show. He continued walking, flipping off random things on his way. He stopped suddenly when he saw a sobbing, blonde and bright blue mess on the sidewalk.

"What the fuck is wrong with you Butters?" Craig grumbled, glaring down at the boy as he flipped him off.

"Oh, h-hamburgers. C-Cartman." Butters sniffled.

"Goddammit Butters, tell me what he did." Craig grumbled crouching down in front of the boy, trying to hide the finger that was unconsciously flipping him off. He was trying to be nice since the guys have been on his case for being such an ass.

Butters took one look at him and suddenly shot forward grabbing onto the other boy sobbing. Craig was used to this since he hanged out with Tweek and Clyde, so he just sighed and started to pat the boy on the back. While flipping him off.

Unlike most people said he wasn't a uncaring asshole, he had a heart. Not that it really showed. If a guy was hurt on the side of the road he'd flip him off, THEN help him.

"Butters, fuckin' tell me what happened." Craig growled, rubbing his face with one hand, face still stoic as usual.

"H-he kicked me off of the, gosh darn, Sexy Action News!" Butters wailed clutching onto Craig.

"Goddammit. Ugh, if you stop crying you can join my show." Craig said.

He wasn't really being nice, he just knew the kid would do whatever he said, without wanting to be paid like Kenny.

"R-really! Jezz Whiz, you'll let me join Wide Angle Close-Up Lenses! Oh, Thank you Craig!" Butters cried, hugging Craig again around the middle.

'What ever floats the kid's boat.' Craig thought.

"Whatever, we got to go to my house so we can decide on new shows." Craig said getting up. Once Butters was up he started walking away, Butters following him with a skip in his step.

-

"So we could maybe do animals in...what?" Craig mulled, spinning in his chair, while Butters shyly sat on his bed.

Craig glanced over to the boy, he was stalk still and kept looking around nervously. Couldn't blame him since he gets screwed over by...everybody.

Psh, he could remember when he'd put Butters up on the tether ball pole by his underwear and repeatedly hit him with the ball...maybe it was last week?

'Wow,' Craig thought, 'I can be a real asshole.'

"Hey, if your bored you can play with Stripe. But if you lose, hurt, or harm him in anyway, I WILL hurt you seventh fold, and then kill you." Craig said getting up from his chair and going to Stripe's cage. Well, it wasn't Stripe, it was like Stripe the second. Luckily he kept them healthy, Stripe the first lived for like ten years. Pretty damn long for a guinea pig.

Craig took out Stripe and gently stroked his head. Walking over he softly sat down on the bed, and with one hand grabbed Butters', pulling them over so Stripe could walk between their hands. Butters took Stripe and brought him up to his face to look back into it's beady eyes.

"He likes it when you pet his head." Craig said leaning over and gently stroking Stripe's head. Butters shyly went and stroked his finger over Stripe's head, letting Craig lift up his fingers smiling. Butters sat there smiling and petting Stripe as Craig got up and sat down at his desk.

They did what they were doing till Craig got bored, sighing he got up and sat on the bed. Butters was letting Stripe run across his arms.

"Dude watch this, are you ticklish?" Craig asked, taking Stripe away from Butters.

"Yep! Wait is this some kind a trick, because I-I can be real mean when I want to be! I used to be…Professor Chaos." Butters said whispering the last part, leaning forward with a serious nod.

"No Butters, just stay still and I'll show you." Craig said flipping off the naïve little boy," But you do gotta start standing up for yourself ,dude."

"O-okay, but if you try anything! I-I'll...um…I'll...do something real mean!" Butters said nodding with a pout, before going still when Craig glared at him.

Craig sighed again before grabbing Stripe and holding him in one hand, with the other he started to slowly push up Butters' shirt. Butters was about to protest before he got another glare from Craig, instantly freezing him. Slowly Craig pushed Butters on his back and then put Stripe on his stomach. Letting the rodent run around.

"That tickles!" Butters giggled, fidgeting.

"I'm gonna work so you just let him run." Craig said getting up and walking to his desk as Butters giggled from his bed.