Let me just clear one thing up before I start: I am not a girl! I will admit that I am by far not the most manly guy in the world, but I still find it insulting that everyone assumes that Little Red Riding Hood is a girl. Speaking of which, please, none of this "Little Red Riding Hood" nonsense. How would you like to be "Medium Sized Dark Blue Skinny Jeans" or "Extra Large Green Football Jersey" or "Size Seven Hot Pink Sweetheart Top, Tutu Skirt, Leopard Print Dress You Regret Wearing to Homecoming Back in the Eighties?" Seriously, what kind of idiot names their kid not only after an article of clothing but also the size and color? It's "Red," people, just Red.

So, anyway, my story starts on a lovely spring morning. I was in the yard, lying down in the shade of a large oak tree, reading a book. I was just getting to my favorite part when I heard my mom calling me. I ran inside, making sure to save my place. I found her in the kitchen, preparing what appeared to be a picnic basket. She added a few more small things like an apple and a few dinner rolls, before handing it to me. "Red, my mother is feeling under the weather, but I can't go visit her because I need to keep an eye on Rosie. Could you go bring this to her?" I nodded, and she gave me directions. "And be careful!" she shouted to me as I left.

As I reached the fork in the road, I remembered Mom's warning. Though the forest was dangerous, it was the quicker path, and it was such a great day that I wanted to admire the beauty of nature along the way. I paused to weigh my options and chose to take the shortcut. As I strolled along, I notices a small patch of flowers. I figured my grandma would love them, so I crouched down to pick a few of them. As I was stooped down, I noticed a shadow from behind me growing larger. "Hello," said the shadow's owner from behind me.

I stumbled, turning around to see who had greeted me. I was stuck lying on my back staring up at a large wolf. I had heard of how wolves were ferocious beasts, capable of raiding villages and taking whole flocks of sheep. But this wolf was…almost beautiful. Still, her silky fur couldn't distract me from the sharp fangs gleaming in her smile or the sharp claws at the end of each dainty finger.

"What's a nice young boy like you doing in a place like this?" she said in a surprisingly hushed tone.

I stood up and brushed off my scarlet colored cloak. "I can't talk right now. I've got to get to my grandmother's house."

"Alright," she said, "but are you sure you don't want some company?" I felt uncomfortable as she moved in closer to me, grabbing my hand in her paw. "I'm sure I can keep you safe. There are a lot of more dangerous things than me in these woods."

Her claw dug into my hand as I freed it from her grip. I ran off as fast as I could, not stopping, even when my glasses fell off.

Before I knew it, I was at the cottage. I walked in the door and saw my grandmother in bed. At least, I thought it was her, but I had never met her before, and it was hard to see clearly without my glasses. Still, even if my vision was fuzzy, should she have had fur? I had read about diseases and disorders that cause hair to grow all over a person's body, but I didn't know they ran in my family. I had to remind myself to stop staring. I walked over to her and placed to basket of food and flowers on her beside table. "Hello, Granny," I said softly.

"Hello, dearie. You must be Red," she responded.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Your mother has told me so much about you."

As she grabbed my hand, it felt weird. I looked down. Claws. I squinted to see her face more clearly. My fears had been confirmed. "You're…you're…"

"A wolf!" she shouted, finishing my sentence as she removed her disguise to reveal the she-wolf I had met earlier that day.

She clutched my hand tighter and used her other paw to scratch my face. I could feel my warm blood flow from the gashes on my cheek. She pushed me against the wall. "I'll admit that I'm never picky about human flesh," she snarled, "but I'm sure you'll be much better than the old lady." She growled and backed me into a corner.

This is it, I thought, as she moved in closer licking her lips. I closed my eyes and braced myself, waiting.

Suddenly, I heard a whirring noise and opened my eyes. A small hatchet flew through the open window, hitting the wolf, killing her. Just after a young girl about my age dashed through the door shouting, "Sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Well, if it isn't my knight-ess in shining armor," I think out loud.

And she and I lived happily ever after.