Title: Bingo

Summary: Grandma Giberstein joins in at bingo night.

Note: It's a short little one-shot that my sister and I thought of. We both love Gibbs's grandmother. I'm also tempted to do a little collection of her and wooden spoon related fics.

The Mercury air was pretty dry, as was typical, as the doors of the Mercury Bingo Hall was opened to the public. Among the crowd waiting to shuffle in the doors was the grandmother of the solar system's most notorious villain, Gibson "Gibbs" Giberstein. While she hardly joined her fellow elderly residents, she was getting sick of the Mercury peacekeepers banging on her door and wanting to know if she had seen her grandson.

So bingo was her answer to a couple hours of peace and quiet.

Grandma Giberstein took her seat at a table near the front. The bingo caller, a young handsome 50-something year old volunteer named Eric, glanced twice at her as she settled down, placing several ceramic clowns around her for 'luck'. He had heard about her but had never encountered her. Surely this sweet old lady wasn't as vicious as everyone had warned him about!

Once everyone was settled he began to roll the little drum, pausing to pull out numbers. "I24," he called first. Watching his new guest, she frowned a little as she did not have that number on any of her cards. But she was quiet, patiently looking up at him for the next number.

Eric paused, giving some of the more older players a chance to stay with him. Pulling another number he called out "O73."

Grandma Giberstein marked her cards and waited for him again. Again, Eric waited for the older players.

She scowled at him but turned it towards her cards when he called out "G53."

"You're calling too slow!" she shouted during his third pause. The sudden noise made him and a few other people in the hall jump in surprise.

"I am waiting for everyone to keep up."

"If they can't keep up then they shouldn't be playing." she muttered.

A little shaken by that remark, Eric nonetheless returned to pulling bingo numbers. Despite her first outburst, when she did not win the first prize of the evening for calling bingo, she did not seem angry.

'Maybe it was just a small one time thing,' Eric thought.

He started to call the next round, noticing as Grandma Giberstein was having some pretty decent luck.

"Call B7!" she shouted.

"I can't decide which numbers to call." When Eric pointed that out to her, she got to her feet, wielding a wooden spoon. Several people, especially those near her, dove to the floor, covering their heads. Eric just looked at her with confusion until she shuffled over to him and clubbed him with her spoon.

"I said call B7!"

Eric rubbed the growing lump on his head and fumbled around in the bingo drum until he pulled out the ball with B7 written on it. "B7," he said weakly.

Grandmother Giberstein smiled at him and said "So what do I win?"

"Ah..." Eric lead her over to the small table that held onto the prizes, donated by several members of the community. Usually the prizes were recycled each week, since most people couldn't even remember they had won them or why they had wanted them.

"Perfect." Grandma Giberstein reached for a box containing a dozen wooden spoons. At that moment the doors to the bingo hall burst open and in raced a young man with an eye patch.

"No!" he cried. "Don't give her any more spoons!" Gibbs tackled Eric, which caused them to fall against his grandmother, sending the box of wooden spoons flying.

Picking up the nearest spoon, Grandmother Giberstein proceeded to whack her grandson repeatedly over the head. "What do you think you're doing? Is this the proper behavior from a grandson? You don't send a card and then you nearly knock an old woman down?"

During her ranting and whacking, Gibbs lay on the floor, cowering and covering his head. Crawling to his feet he bolted out of the hall with his grandmother in hot pursuit, yelling all the way. As her cries of "And you call this hiding from Titan Force Five? What are you, stupid?" got further and further away, one old man turned to the other and said, "Maybe we should just tell Titan Force Five to use spoons."