Title: Friend in Need
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairing: Ivanova/Winters
Rating: PG
Prompt: Support
Word Count: 560
Summary: For dailyprompt. Set near the end of Season 2. A shoulder to lean on is offered, but Susan has doubts.
Susan tried to enjoy lunch, good food at a restaurant in the Zocalo, and even better company as she gazed across at Talia. The telepath wore a faint smile as she recounted a story from her Academy days that she thought the other woman would find humorous. Ivanova forced a smile, but she was only half listening. Sheridan was still debating whether or not to go along with Lyta's plan, something that Susan couldn't do. The consequences of exposing her long-buried secret were too terrifying for her.
The sound of her name being called woke Ivanova from her reverie. She gazed up at Talia, who wore a concerned frown. "Sorry. I've been a little distracted these days," Susan offered with a self-deprecating smile.
"You haven't seemed like yourself lately," Talia remarked. Susan thought this was an understatement. "Is there anything going on?"
"Nothing much," Ivanova reassured, playing with the food at the end of her fork briefly before setting the utensil down. "Just some of the usual grind."
Talia didn't look convinced. "If there's anything I can do, even if it's just to listen, I'm here for you," she said. Suddenly there was the sensation of leather-clad fingers sliding over her own, moving to clasp. "That's what friends are for, aren't they?"
Susan gazed down at their joined hands before turning her eyes to the other woman's earnest expression. She had already let Talia closer than she'd dared let others in the past. Somehow the telepath had managed to do what others hadn't managed, to slip past defenses built up from too much hurt, to get behind the wall that Ivanova had built around herself.
There were times that Talia made Susan question the certainties she once had about herself. Like when she found herself distracted by idle thoughts of how soft the other woman's skin might be under her roving hands. Like the dreams she had some nights that caused her to wake in the dark, lonely and wanting. But it almost felt like a betrayal of their friendship. Even though Ivanova sometimes wondered if there was more behind those kind eyes and words spoken by soft lips, an invitation that Susan was too afraid to take.
Ivanova's lips parted as if to speak, urged on by the other woman's kind smile that seemed to spread a strange calm over her. But the bronze and silver pin on her lapel glinted in the overhead light as a reminder. As a warning. Her lips fell shut, her expression closing off. She tried to pretend that she hadn't noticed the hurt that flitted across Talia's face before concern replaced it once more.
"It's not something I can really talk about with anyone," Susan admitted finally. She hoped that the other woman wouldn't think of her words and behavior as a rejection. "I want to, but I just-"
"It's alright," Talia interrupted, warmth in her voice and understanding in her eyes. She gave the other woman's hand another reassuring squeeze. "Whenever you're ready, I'll be willing to listen."
Susan smiled faintly, relieved somewhat. She gave an answering squeeze to Talia's hand, not wanting to let it slip from her grasp like so many other things had in the past. Perhaps one day she could trust Talia enough, trust her own instincts enough, to open up to her. One day, but not today.
End