Twelve Things Ianto Jones has Learned Working at Torchwood Cardiff (and one thing he didn't know)
Many of the things Ianto Jones learns working at Torchwood Cardiff, he learns the hard way, he muses.
1. Don't let Tosh leave chocolate on her keyboard overnight unless you remind her to turn the PC off before she goes home.
2. Always double check that Owen has locked the cage again after he's fed the Weevil, no matter how adamant he is that he already did.
3. A secret organization should not, really, get mouse mats with its official logo printed. Even if there is a two-for-the-price-of-one offer that Gwen couldn't resist.
4. A secret organization should not, really, get its vehicle customized with its official logo. Even if it looks so cool that Jack couldn't resist.
5. A secret organization would, really, be better served without an official logo.
6. Flying dinosaurs do not make good pets if you are the one who has to clean up after them.
7. Nutmeg tea, when prescribed as a herbal sleep aid by Owen during a homeopathic phase, really can be a powerful hallucinogen if it is too strong.
8. Never let Owen make the tea, especially the herbal ones. He brews them for far too long.
9. It is difficult to get melted chocolate out of printed circuit boards, no matter what content of cocoa solids they contain.
10. It is impossible to get individual replacement keys (F1 through F4, Esc, and the volume key) even if you can get the chocolate out from underneath.
11. Tartrazine is incompatible with 51st century physiology.
12. Tartrazine, when consumed by someone from the 51st century, leads to high octane sex. For hours. And hours. And hours.
Not everything Ianto Jones learns at Torchwood Cardiff is bad he reflects, as he pours yet another glass of bright yellow Sunny Delight.
One Thing Ianto Jones Didn't Know
Jack hates the taste of Sunny Delight. But whenever Ianto gives him a glassful, he drinks it gratefully.