Being the child of a surgeon was tough. Besides the long work hours, there was also the fact that most surgeons were damaged, one way or the other. Some will say they became doctors to save the lives of the people. That's a lie. They became surgeons because they liked the power that was given to them. Holding a scalpel over the flesh of a living being, knowing that one wrong move could potentially end the patient's life. Because surgeons are emotionally damaged, they find it hard to connect with others, including their own families.
When the little blonde girl of age five woke up, the first thing she realized was that the house was quiet. She rose from the bed, and swung her feet off the bed. When her feet touched the ground, she shivered. It was cold. She turned around, instinctively reaching out to grab something that wasn't there. That's when she remembered that she didn't have her favourite doll with her. Tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. After all, the tears wouldn't make a difference. They never did. Instead, she bit her lip and stood.
The hallway outside her room was not overly bright, considering it was only eight o' clock in the morning. She walked to the room next to hers, opening the door and hopefully peering in. Disappointment fell upon her when she saw that the room was empty. The bed was already made, as though no one had slept in it at all. On the study desk, there were journals strewn around. She knew she was not allowed to enter that room so she silently closed the door.
The soft pitter patter of her footsteps were heard only by her as she descended the stairs. She entered the kitchen. It was also empty. Seeing a box of cereal on the counter, she dragged a chair over, slightly wincing at the sound it made and climbed. After reaching the cereal, she got the milk out from the refrigerator and a bowl from the lower cabinets. As she sat on the dining table, she thought about the things that had changed so drastically. Her father had just left her, causing her mother to fly them both across the country. From Seattle to Boston. It was quite a distance. The child poured her milk into the bowl before pouring out the cereal.
She wondered. Was it her fault that their parents had separated? Sure, her mother never seemed that interested in spending time with her but her father loved her, right? Her mind returned to the day she was riding the carousel. She remembered her mom being with a man but on the next rotation, they disappeared. Once she got off, she immediately went looking for her mom. It took a few minutes but she eventually found her crying her heart. Shyly, the girl lifted her arm and pulled on her mother's sleeve.
Are you okay?
Her mother never replied. The drive back to their house was silent, and the girl could feel dread bubbling inside her, but she pushed it aside. She woke up in the middle of the night that day. She was thirsty and thus went into the kitchen to get a glass of water. However, when she entered the kitchen she saw her mother standing there with blood running down both of her wrists. She glanced down and saw the glint of the steel scalpel lying in a pool of blood. She couldn't move her eyes away from the crimson pool, even though she wanted to. She was terrified but was petrified. Her mother seemed to realize someone else was in the kitchen with her because she turned around. When she saw her daughter, she just calmly talked to her.
It's only blood, Meredith.
Finally, the girl was able to pull her gaze away from the floor and towards her mother's eyes. Meredith tilted her body slightly toward her right, ready to call the ambulance when her mother stopped her.
Don't call anyone Meredith.
She knew not to disobey her mother, so she just stood there. Trying to take her mind off the horrific experience. It worked and before she knew it, there was a splash sound. Her mother had finally passed out. Numbly, Meredith turned to the phone and did what she had wanted to do moments earlier. The dispatched asked what her emergency was. She whispered her answer, afraid of using her normal volume when it was so silent in the kitchen.
My mother tried to kill herself.
When they reached the hospital, someone came up to her and put a hand on her shoulder.
You may have saved your mother's life.
The only thing she could think of was She didn't want it saved.
A few days later, they flew to Boston. Meredith knew she wasn't supposed to make any noise, so she didn't tell her mother that they had left her favourite Anatomy Jane doll back in their house in Seattle. They left. Her mother left Seattle and brought her along. Her mother left. Then, Meredith felt as though a cold spear had pierced her heart. Her mother had left her dad, and her job at Seattle Grace Hospital which was her top priority. Meredith knew her mother loved her job. So what's to say she wouldn't leave her too. She felt a lump form in her throat. She pushed back her chair and ran to her room, not bothering about the chair that had toppled.
She dived back under the covers of her bed, afraid to leave the small comfort it brought her. Afraid that if she were to leave that comfort, her whole world would come crashing down and her mother would leave her. Just like she left Thatcher, just like she left Richard. Just like she left her pride and joy, her job at Seattle Grace Hospital. The tears which were kept at bay the moment she woke up started streaming down her face. She didn't know how she would survive without her mother. After a while, she fell asleep with her eyes red and puffy and tear tracks still running down her cheeks.
She woke to the sound of the door slamming. She immediately jumped off her bed, running downstairs while rubbing away the remnants of her sleep and the fit she had threw earlier. She heard her mother yelling from the kitchen, so she walked into the kitchen.
Look at the mess you've made!
Her mother yelled, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The grin she had on her face since she woke up was not fading away, it had not even waned when her mother yelled. She hugged her mother's legs causing the woman to yell yet again. But she didn't care. Because her mother was still there. Her mother had not left her and she would try her hardest not to disappoint her mother, if only so she wouldn't leave her behind. Just like she left Thatcher, just like she left Richard. Just like she left her job in Seattle Grace.