Diagnostic: Guilt
I don't own House or any other character….they belong to FOX
Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital, 3 AM
Gregory House just woke up, his blue eyes staring at the ceiling, he moves around trying to grasp the reality… he doesn't know the time since his wristwatch is missing (those cheap nurses) but the quiet night tells him is very late, he could sense the weight of his newfound guilt pushing him down from the dark pits of his mind, so no nurses walking the hallways and no doctors giving instructions for treatment, must be away from the E.R. he tells himself, the only clear sound is coming from this room, it's the damn beep of the heart machine… he found his ECG and reads it, it's normal so he can't be sure if he was hallucinating or not when he talked to Amber Volakis on the bus…not good.
House's head hurts and yet he could clearly remembered Wilson leaving the room when he woke up the first time around, he could almost felt the cold grip of despair in his heart….then thankfully he passed out, maybe out of pain or out of guilt…but who cares? Is going to be his fault anyways…it always is, even when he knows is not true….he can't escape guilt, they're stuck in the same room.
House's mind still wanders between the real World and the dream World….sad for him, he just got out of the bus, so self-loathing and self-destruction won't help anymore, but self-pity is a new development, but even the new symptoms is useless, is there anything he can use to cure this wretched feeling of sadness?…. House's knows now that Amber is dead already and probably the nurse have received instruction about what to do with her body….Damn….House found out what was wrong with her and yet he couldn't save her…not enough time, but there never is.
House tried to move his left hand, it felt heavy and cold….but then he sensed the warm hand of Cuddy's right next to his… she moved her head because it was rested on the bed…she feels warm and she must be very worried about House….but I'm ok….aren't I…. my head hurts but not nearly enough too avoid my conscience, the good thing about pain is that sometimes when is too strong you can't think….and I don't want him to hate me….I need him to understand.
Maybe House could call the team….then he realized he has nothing to say so he leaves the phone on the table…. He knows that Wilson suffers and oddly enough that hurts him quite a lot, I tried to give him a clean chance!, I tried to like Amber!, but she was mean, possessive, even if she had legs that go all the way to Canada or even if she was a cutthroat….. Well you can't speak ill of dead people….mom taught me that….is it funny to scream out loud inside your head?
Was I too strong on her? I know she couldn't face losing… but can I lose? Right now I am not so sure… my right hand goes to my head just to touch all the bandages that are wrapped around it, they must have done some extra work on me to avoid more injuries….good job Cuddy.
Was she angry? Let's hope not… Am I talking to myself in third person? Am I that lonely? Ok…don't answer the question, House grabs the cane with his right hand and puts it under Cuddy's hand….he then summons the little strength he has left and stand up from the other side of the bed…the floor is cold and the headache has gotten a little stronger, must be very weak…he tells himself, but it sure beats the crap out of a coma…last time there was Amber and the bus….who knows what would happen next?
He moves slowly outside the room…he is close, no nurses around….if I can find a wheelchair I might make it to my office, and that is the only safe place he knows tonight… he finds an old wheelchair, maybe one left by a relative for a sick uncle that did not make it put of here…this old one would do.
If only I had the courage to go through Wilson's office everything would be ok….
Please, please review…. I was going to make it a one chapter only, but the story is too strong.