Disclaimer: All characters mentioned are JKR's creations.
"So, you're getting married."
"Yup."
"And I set you up?"
"Right-o."
"What the hell was I thinking?"
"Katie, I'm shocked! Are you saying you would steal me away from your own roommate?"
"Um, no. Nice try. I meant what have I done to her, leading her into your gangly arms?"
"My arms are not gangly. They are lean."
"Right."
"…"
"George? You do know that your best man is supposed to be a man, right?"
"Well. As much as I would love to put up a petition with the Wizengamot to legalize necromancy, they may not appreciate that. Especially not after I made their Head Auror's office explode. So Fred is out of the question, for now."
"Oh, god, I'm so sorry."
"Don't worry about it. Also, you smell like you were rolling in a flowerbed. Please tell me Charlie didn't introduce you to the geranium. I might barf on my antique trousers."
"Don't. Molly would slaughter you."
"Has Angelina ever shown traces of necrophilia? Because it could wo- ow! Why'd you bloody hit me?"
"Because you're being a prick! Get into groom mode, please."
"How's this?"
"You look like Percy! Ow, ow, laughing hurts."
"So you were snogging Charlie all over the yard!"
"I was not. It's from trying to decorate the damn apple orchard. You better appreciate that thing, too."
"Charlie will."
"Shut up. Don't pout at me, you deserved that one!"
"But he's elderly. And have you seen the Circe-shaped burn on his- ow!"
"Deserved that one, too. Have you ever liked any of my boyfriends?"
"Yes."
"Besides yourself."
"I was fond of that handsome nurse at St. Mungo's when you were there in your seventh year."
"George."
"Alright, alright, one that isn't me… I'm not coming up with anyone."
"Exactly. When I was with Roger Davies – don't look at me like that, it was all of a week. Okay, a month – you took me to hospital wing when we were supposed to go to Hogsmeade-"
"And told Pomfrey you had licked the goalpost! I remember that."
"And when Oliver and I dated?"
"You can't blame me for Oliver being gullible."
"You told him I was going to put pictures of his practices in the Prophet! You knew he would get all pissy and paranoid."
"And he believed me, so I did you a favor. You don't even work in that part of the Prophet. I seriously doubt the teenage girls who read the For Her section would care."
"I'm a Quidditch reporter, arsehat. And don't even get me started on Marcus!"
"He accepted the WWW gift basket of his own free will! Besides, you can't be dating a Slytherin. Especially one as thick as Flint."
"Can you please just deal with Charlie and me? You're getting married. I'm allowed to date other people. Please?"
"Stop fluttering. Your eyelashes are stuck together. You might want to fix that before we go out there. Ow."
"…"
"Have you been practicing that harpy glare? Blimey! That one didn't even hurt!"
"George Gideon Weasley, so help me Merlin, I will turn you into a rock and throw you down the aisle."
"Fine. Katherine Sarah Bell, I, George Gideon Weasley do give you my permission to have wild sex with my brother all your little heart desires."
"… You're such a dork."
"Whoa! Does that mean you've-"
"Drop it. Besides, Romania is probably the least sexy country ever."
"You know I love you, right?"
"I love you, too."
"Too bad I can't shag you any more - OW!"
"George, go get married."
It's official. These two are my book-era OTP, even though canon split them up. Review?