100th story everyone!

It feels like a long time since I've written a case based story/ one with an investigation embedded throughout.

I feel like I should warn people now this story isn't pretty! It deals with strong adult themes, mental, physical and sexual abuse. And I don't want to upset anyone or leave it until it gets too late to warn you.

Please review- let me know what you think and if you want more.

Disclaimer: I own zilch

Dead Nature

(Prologue)

"It just happened..." Sara shrugged choking back the tears that were stinging her eyes. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself, but she couldn't stop herself from shivering; he was watching her with intensity she wished would disappear. "I want to take it back..."

"But you can't" He finished the sentence, his clear blue eyes burning into her skin as they ran over her body studying her frail form. The dark corners of the room seemed to be inched towards her as if trying to trap Sara in this misery, her eyes focused on everything but him; studying the patterns on the carpet, the placement of the furniture.

"I didn't want to" She took a shivery breath casting her gaze out the window at the dull grey of the sky; the overcast weather matching her mood. Birds took flight, their wings moving effortlessly against the dull skies with the abilities to escape something that she envied.

"He forced himself on you?" His voice seemed to rise with slight panic. "Did he rape you?"

"No" Sara shook her head. "I just...I wanted it to stop...I wanted to tell him I couldn't go through with it...but...I didn't say anything..."

"If you really wanted to stop it- you could have stopped it" He said after clearing his throat, brushing his dirty blonde hair out of face. Desperation had brought Sara here- the need to erase the memories that were consuming her.

"I don't know what I want" She looked down at her hands, picking at her nails ashamed of what she'd done and everything that had followed.

"Do you have feelings for him? Or was it just sex?" He asked breaking the silence after scribbling down a note in the file placed on his desk. She watched him wondering what it was that he was writing down- what judgements he had about her as she sat a few feet away surrounded by nothing by the admission of adultery.

"I don't know" Once again Sara shook her head as she attempted to organise her thoughts, all of the things in her mind colliding with all of the things she was feeling. The dark carpets seemed to create the tone of the room- the seriousness of the harsh colours and lines speaking of his approach.

"Did you feel guilty while you were having sex with him? Or did the guilt appear afterwards?" He didn't seem fazed by the broken look in her eyes as he continued asking questions. He was there to do one job and he did not let anything distract him from this.

"I...couldn't focus on anything...but him...he was there...and he...made me feel things I hadn't felt before..." Sara realised she was finding it harder than she had ever imagined she would talking about that night- about what she had done.

"Does your husband not satisfy you?" He raised his eyebrows, the notion clearly peaked his interest as he leant back in his chair studying her reaction.

"That had nothing to do with it." Sara replied almost sternly, shaking her head.

"So sleeping with this other man wasn't a way for you to...explore something physical...to explore the sexual parts of a relationship. To experience something you had not done previously? Did he make you orgasm?" He seemed to be talking but the words were going through her.

She couldn't help but think about the intensity that had coursed through her body as she had let him make love to her. She had memorised the tone of his eyes, the freckles that dusted his skin, the sound of his heart beat that night.

The light above them seemed to brighten like a spot light, as her eyes focused on the way his hands were clasped on the table. It was as if he were accusing her of something that she could not detect on the surface of his words. Something almost unreadable gleamed in his eyes before quickly disappearing once again.

"I'm in love with my husband, he makes me feel loved and happy...we make each other happy" Sara said with an exasperated sigh as she tried to convince herself that the things she was saying were true.

"What do you think would happen if he found out you had sex with someone else?" He raised his eyebrows at her- it was almost as if he was challenging her to think about the situation. Sara confronted the broken gaze with which Grissom would look at her, all of the disappointment and hurt he would feel as he tried to understand- why she would do such a thing.

"It'd break his heart..." She answered in a low voice. "I...I just want to take it back."

"Do you want to tell him?" He questioned carefully watching as Sara slumped forwards in her chair resting her head in her hands as her body curled up with defeat.

"I want to be honest...For once I want to tell him how I feel..." She mumbled barely loud enough for him to hear.

The sound of Sara's phone ringing rang through the silence ending their session. She answered it with an apologetic glance- his eyes not leaving her as she paced listening to the information Greg was giving her over the phone muttering the address under her breath to remember it.

"Sorry about this- I'm going to have to go" Sara announced placing her phone back in her pocket.

"Well...I look forward to see you next time Sara..." He replied with a smile. She gave him a quick nod disappearing towards the door leaving behind all of the feelings she had spoken about.