This is just a random one shot I thought up last night. It always occurred to me that Light was a germ phobe. I can just imagine him twitching at the thought of dirty hands and doorknobs. He's too good for that. But I always imagine L having dirty, sticky hands. So I thought, why not make a yaoi? (The question of the universe…) Light questions his sexuality…
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The chain of the handcuffs brushing against the metal kitchen sink chinked softly. Though however faint the sounds were, they still managed to give Light a headache. The sound of rushing water broke past his eardrums like an avalanche.
It was bad enough to be handcuffed to his nemesis for god knows how long, but L was also a (twitch) germ. L hardly ever wore shoes, washed his hands, or took a shower. Since Light was chained to him, he felt himself growing dirtier and dirtier by the day. It was disgusting being with someone who constantly smelled like chocolate and ice cream!
But finally, after a mind-numbingly long day of staring at a computer screen, L was washing his hands! L had a moment of clumsiness: he spilled some hot tea on his hand.
Serves him right for sitting in that wretched position Light couldn't help but think. L got up wincing slightly.
Light would have never thought that the crazy genius could have an accident. L always seemed the type to take pain, or even enjoy it. But he got up and walked over to the sink and began to pour icy water over the red area.
"You okay Ryuuzaki?" Light implored, giving L a concerned glance. His headache pounded on. The detective didn't answer.
Light turned away from L. He stared at the clock with his arms crossed. It was nearing midnight. Knowing L, he would keep Light up until four in the morning researching. He felt the chain stretch a bit as the spiky haired man reached for the bar of soap that was resting on it's pedestal. Approximately two seconds later, he heard the soap rocket out of L's hands and hit the back of the sink.
Don't drop the soap, Ryuuzaki. Where the hell did that come from? Light's head flooded with perverted thoughts centered on a certain pale skinned somebody. He quickly brought a hand up to his forehead, as though it could relieve the scaring of the mind-visuals that his hormones had bestowed upon him.
"Light-kun?" L's voice broke through the nonsensical thoughts.
"Y-Yes Ryuuzaki?" Light stuttered.
"Are you alright? You're blushing."
"No I'm not." What a completely childish thing to say! I've got to get a hold of myself.
"Alright then, whatever you say…" L replied.
The two of them were walking back to their room when Light noticed that L was dripping soapy water onto the carpet. He involuntarily twitched.
"Ryuuzaki, you forgot to dry your hands."
"No, I didn't forget, I just didn't want to," L said tonelessly.
"If you don't dry your hands, they'll be all cold and you'll get your keyboard wet," Light insisted.
"Well what do you care if I get my keyboard wet and… why would you care if I have cold hands?" L asked, cocking an eyebrow. Without responding, Light stormed back to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.
"But I told you Light-kun, I don't want to," L whined.
"Shut up!" Light growled.
The younger boy roughly rubbed L's hands. He looked really helpless just standing there, watching as Light ran the pure white towel up and down his hands.
If he can't even dry his own hands, then he is helpless. I'd be so easy to take advantage of him right now…Light twitched again, what did he care if L was easy to take advantage of or not?
"Uh Light-kun, you twitched again… maybe it's time to go to bed?" L suggested.
"Sure, that sounds great Ryuuzaki, just let me get changed into my pajamas," Light answered.
"Okay."
While Light got dressed into his simple pinstripe pajamas, he realized that it would be his first night actually sleeping with L. For the last week or so, Light fell asleep in a chair and woke up with neck pains. Nothing is going to happen…Light firmly told himself as he walked back to the room.
He and L walked into the adjoining bedroom. Light was just about to crawl under the silk sheets when he saw something that made his jaw drop. L had taken off his stained shirt and made his way over to the bed.
Don't look, damn it! Light shouted in his head. But he couldn't help looking as L crawled under the covers.
The detective's body was pale and lanky. His spine stuck out oddly as L curved his back in the bed. There wasn't a spot of hair on the man! What do I care? I don't think in rainbows! Light denied as he flipped over to look at the wall. He finally fell into a painful sleep.
"Light! Light! Thank goodness you're awake!" he heard a familiar voice call.
"Huh… Ryuuzaki?" Light answered as he focused his eyes. But he really wished he hadn't: in front of him stood L… in a rainbow speedo. "Ah, Ryuuzaki what the hell?"
"Do you like my new look?" he asked.
"No! No I don't!" Light denied.
"Oh I think you do."
"No I don't!"
"Don't you want to just squeeze me like a little doll?"
"Ryuuzaki, I don't want to squeeze any part of you! Not now, not ever!" Light shouted.
"But Light, you have to do it, see they're taking notes," L said, pointing to a window where the other task force members stood with notepads and pens.
"What?! Even you Dad?" Light yelled.
"Yep. I'm gonna go eat a corndog." Yagami-san said as he pulled a corndog from nowhere.
"Hang on… this has to be a dream…" Light thought.
Sure enough, Light awoke in a cold sweat. He opened his eyes and realized it was morning. He looked over, and saw that L was staring at him. "Good morning, Light-kun," he said simply.
"Oh good morning Ryuuzaki," Light replied.
" So are you hungry?" L asked.
"Uh sure," Light answered.
"Do you want breakfast or lunch, considering its noon and all the task force members are probably waiting for us downstairs?" the detective smirked.
"Uh sorry… heh heh. I'll have anything… whatever you'd rather have," Light said, still sweating slightly.
"Okay."
L climbed out of the bed. Light almost expected to see a rainbow Speedo hugging the man's nether regions, but L was wearing jeans. But then, L bent down to look in the mini-fridge. Light's hormones exploded like a fire lit with kerosene. Damn it…he thought.
"Ryuuzaki!" Light said sharply.
"Ye-," but he couldn't finish his statement, for Light's face was pressed up against his own.
Light's lips brushed back and forth on L's. He had expected the detective to push away, but L just grabbed Light's chin and held it in place. Light felt L's tongue push on his teeth demanding entrance. It was granted. After about forty-five seconds of vicious tongue-and-lip play, they broke for air.
"So, this can only mean one thing, Light-kun," L said after a few heavy gasps.
"What's that?" Light asked.
"You must have had the dream too."
-
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes. I know there wasn't a lot of romance, but I really wanted to make some of these gags, I had to. Thanks for reading, even though it wasn't the most grammar-correct work out there.