Wicked Games

by mynameissirius

AU. Severus Snape is a talented spy with only one goal in mind. Sirius Black is a wrench into his plans and he will not stand for it.

Title: Wicked Game

Author: Rain ( lj user"mynameissirius" )

Pairing: Snape/Black

Rating: R (mildly graphic descriptions of smuttiness)

Summary: AU. Severus Snape is a talented spy with only one goal in mind. Sirius Black is a wrench into his plans and he will not stand for it.

Part 1: Strange What Desire

It's difficult to say what exactly brings about a change in a person. It is often too difficult for the person in question to truly see what it was that made that change. It takes a great deal of hindsight to even begin to scratch the surface of what makes the change. Sometimes even then the person can be too stubborn to see the truth.

In the case of Severus Snape, this particular change in his life was one that he would rather not question at all. One moment there was a steady routine and consistent requirements to ensure that life continued on. Next everything stopped and it was like a train wreck that threw a wrench in his life. There was a blind spot in his judgment and he could not find a way to properly see what lay in that hole.

In 1980, Severus was a spy and a rather talented one if he did say so himself. He skated along the edge of danger and felt the thrill of accomplishment with each small success. His superiors fanned the flame of his ego with each successful mission completed. He was quickly being elevated to a rank of value and respect. The swell of glory made him push forward each step just a bit harder than the last to ensure that there would only be victory in the future.

The war was dragging on painfully for those who claimed to fight for the Light. They did not see that they were being systematically brought to their knees. At this time the Dark Lord was an excellent strategist. He was cunning and his plans were deeply rooted with deceit after deceit. Severus could easily see the layout of both sides of the board. He watched as each piece fell into their carefully calculated place and it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down around them. The members of the Order would not know what was happening to them. They would not be able to defend themselves.

Severus was an intelligent man, and he knew what to do in order to survive. That had always been his main concern, survival. First it had been to survive at home, then at school, now he would survive beyond this war and he would remain on the victorious side (regardless of what side that would be.) Once the dust had settled and there was nothing else expected of him, he would have everything that he could ever possibly want. He would have his glory, and he would prove to the world that he was not the worthless man that they wanted to believe he was.

All of that came to a crashing halt suddenly and he could not even begin to comprehend what exactly he was doing any longer. What made him say yes to the first drink? Or the third or the fourth? How was it that he was the one that was gone to when the idiot had died? It was not as if he had been the one to direct his brother to be put to death. Furthermore, what led them to that bed and why was he still in it? Why was he unable to pull himself away from the warmth of the body beside him?

There had been tears, even before the alcohol. Perhaps that was what had thrown him off. The sound of pained sobs was something that he had never dreamed would come from this man. There had been pleas for information, information that only he could give. Severus had listened to him talk, talk for hours it seemed as they emptied the bottle of amber liquid. Such personal information had never been expressed in his presence before. He had never believed there to be that much depth in the man. A barrier between them was suddenly dissolved.

Who had reached for whom first? There was no way of knowing. All Severus could state was that there had been some kind of healing done on that bed, though he could not see how much of it had been shared healing. The two men had lain entwined with one another and helped ease the pain and loss.

Now it was morning and Severus knew that he had to leave. He could not stay there and risk the chance of him waking. There would be questions, attempted polite conversation when it should never happen. No, he had to leave before it could become anything more than the whole affair already was. He pulled himself slowly from the bed, the warmth, and the flash of memory that nearly made him blush from head to toe with a desire to return to the previous night once again. His clothing had been tossed haphazardly across the room and he made the effort to collect everything as quickly as possible.

Severus had nearly succeeded in his escape as he replaced his shoes on his feet, when he heard the sound of sheets moving and came face to face with a pair of grey eyes that froze him in his tracks.

"Before you leave…" he began softly. "I want you to know that I know what you're doing. I swear that I will never tell anyone. Just don't get yourself killed."

He gaped for several moments before straightening and turning on his heel to leave. What in the world was that supposed to mean? What did he think he knew? He could not possibly know that he had no desire to truly help the Order. There was a swirl of questions and all of them had no apparent answer. He was more confused then he could recall ever feeling in his entire life. This was more than just something as simple as a difficult transfiguration assignment. There was an answer at the end of the assignment, but in this case he feared that he would never find the answer.

The next time they met was several weeks later. He was going to report to an Order member his latest findings as he himself could not be gone from the Dark Lord's fortress long enough to report them himself. At least that was what he had told the old fool in the castle. To say that Severus was ready to see him would have been a lie. In fact, he was the last person that he had expected to come to him for the information.

They did not mention their previous encounter. The other wizard was all business and managed to repeat all of the information perfectly after hearing it only once. Severus knew that he did not want to have to stay longer than necessary and he stood before anything further could be said. He grabbed him before he could move however. A hand on his wrist and a tug turned him back to the dark haired youth in a motion too quick for him to stop.

"I'm glad that you took me seriously," he said with the hint of a grin tugging at his lips.

Severus could not stop himself from staring at those lips especially when they suddenly descended upon his own for a deep kiss. Just when he thought he might fall over from a lack of air, the other man pulled away and cupped Severus's cheek for just a moment.

"Don't forget. Don't get yourself killed," he said, pulling away and leaving Severus to stare at the spot he had just vacated in confusion.

There were three other meetings after this, each of them suddenly ending with them entwined together. Only on the last occasion did they manage to make it to a bedroom. He held Severus long after their passion had been spent. He floated in a hazy mostly asleep state, while the other man continued to whisper, "Don't get yourself killed."

Such encounters left Severus completely off balance. He was suddenly finding it difficult to function properly. Work that was normally completed with ease was suddenly exploding in his face. The strangest things brought on deep contemplation of their time together. His breath quickened and he was suddenly so deep in his memories of the incident that everything around him faded into the sharp shapes of memory. Severus was alone with that cursed fool in a world of sensations. The feeling of hands ghosting along his body, a breathy voice urging him on, sometimes the memory alone was powerful enough to bring him to completion. He would always be infuriated and painfully embarrassed that something of this nature could affect him so powerfully.

There were times when he felt as if he could hear him repeating over and over in his ear that now unforgettable mantra. It slipped into his unconscious life and he found that it was the only thing that slipped past his usual defenses. Upon finding it, the Dark Lord had actually laughed at him and sent him on his way without a care. The Dark Lord appeared to feel no reason not to trust someone that was so obviously "paranoid."

He knew that he had to bring a stop to the madness. It could not continue. He could not continue to live in such a manner. Every day he found that he hated himself more because of it. Severus could not understand how he could allow that man to effect him in this manner. It was impossible. It was inconceivable. This hatred grew in him almost as much as the strange desire. As the days ticked by he found that he was beginning to think only of how to end it. How could he destroy this before it consumed his soul?

Severus had decided that he would seek him out. He would find him and end it in whatever manner was necessary. He would go that very night and he would bring an end to it all.

It was Fate that handed him an appropriate way to correct the situation.

"You must have known about him," Dumbledore insisted.

"I certainly did not. I do not pretend to hold so strong a sway in the Dark Lord's court to know all of his servants," Severus said. Inside he felt a deep satisfied well of pleasure filling him. It poured its blackness over his mind and was a balm to the sudden sharp pain that had filled him upon learning of the events following the fall of Voldemort.

This was what he told himself he wanted, no needed. This would be his peace and would keep at bay the strange obsessive thoughts that claimed his mind before. It threatened everything. It would destroy his plan. Sirius claimed to know his secret. He would never be able to survive if he was still alive. It did not matter that he knew the truth. It did not matter that he was condemning an innocent man. He would have peace. Severus Snape would no longer be controlled by any man.

Sirius Black was now dead to him.

Part 2: Nobody Loves No One

It would be exactly two years, three months, seven days and five hours before he would be able to make it through a day without hearing the name of Sirius Black. There were no longer any insipid reports about the infamous Hallowe'en of 1981 of the Daily Prophet. There were no victory remarks and no further hero tales to be told. Finally there was peace, and most importantly the much desired quiet.

The illustrious Potions master was cleared of any possible prosecution and resumed working in the comfort of his dungeon. As the days and months ticked on Severus slowly shifted inwards, becoming oddly quiet and unsociable. He had never truly been open or in some cases polite to many of the people at the school, but he was now suddenly only seen during classes or while eating meals. The teachers stopped offering him invitations to tea or other simple conversations. No one could truly comprehend the sudden change and no one was able to find out the answer themselves as he gave no one the opportunity to get close enough to ask.

Severus would never admit to any kind of change, even to himself. He was often watched deep in thought staring over the Great Hall at meals. Was there some strange ghost of the past that had caught his attention? Or were the students correct in assuming that he was not truly there?

Severus remained the same in the classroom and the students felt his wrath at their failings and his sarcasm at their success. When speaking to anyone, there was no change in how he spoke to anyone, he simply spoke to them less.

Most people assumed that Snape was simply happy to have the entire affair of war and spying over and done with. It wasn't as if Snape had ever been a friendly person in the first place.

"Don't get yourself killed."

It was so ingrained in his mind that he had long since forgotten who had said it to him. It had been exactly seven years, five months, thirteen days, eight hours and fifty-nine minutes since he had heard it spoke to him last. It was fuzzy and he attributed it to a previous problem with alcohol.

He was painfully careful now in all that he did. He found solace in research and began to experiment and create new potions that brought forth accolades from other peers in his field. These came about quietly and he gladly focused on this new purpose. It was what he claimed to be the reason for his not leaving the sanctuary of the school and dungeons, despite it being spawned from an unknown subconscious fear.

Severus needed only his cauldron and research to be content with his current life. He had settled into the routine of teaching and research with ease. This was comfortable. The only person that he needed to answer to was the Headmaster, and that hardly seemed important as the old man never bothered him. Dumbledore seemed thrilled that he was doing so well and did not bother him because of it.

It would not be all that difficult for him to live out the rest of his days in this manner.

When the sun went down, his carefully built up walls of security came crashing down. It was in his dreams that all peace shattered. His dreams plagued him night after night. There were nights that he was tortured with thoughts of a shared bed and arousal that he could never replicate in his waking life. Other nights he would be forced to remain unable to move as a pair of shining grey eyes bore into him. There were no words from the other man, but his own cries of anguish and guilt would rouse him to wakefulness with a clammy hand of fear around his heart.

He had tried every kind of sleeping potion and spell known to Wizarding kind. They would work for several months and finally his body would work around them. Every few months he would need to find a new source of peace. He tried everything, save taking up drinking himself into oblivion. He would never touch alcohol again. Not after the trouble it had once caused him.

It had been ten years, three months, eighteen days, twenty-three hours, and fourteen minutes since he had been able to have a night's rest without these dreams interrupting his peace. Now there was something new weighing down on him. With the new Defense teacher came an unwanted guest, one that he had been able to hide his knowledge of. He could not allow Voldemort to return. It would ruin everything. Severus had worked hard to bring his life to where it was at that moment, and he did not want to see that come crashing down around him.

With a bit of perseverance, not even the Boy Who Lived would be able to ruin the life that he had made for himself.

There was no longer any way for him to for him to feign a lack of knowledge. No one would believe him. After the incident in the Chamber of Secrets the previous year, there would be no way for him to deny the inevitable. The peace that he worked for was easily being torn away and he would need to make every effort to ensure that it would not be his downfall. He was well aware that it would be only a short amount of time now before he would be called into "service" once again. There was no longer any enjoyment in that thought.

There was also another dangerous dilemma. He had not been successful. The blasted man had escaped his fate and had eluded his attempts to put him away again. He was crazy, ignorant of everything but his goal. The convict desperate to prove his innocence did not seem to care if he hurt friend or foe.

Severus had been with the Aurors, escorting him to the tower cell. He felt an icy hand close around him as he heard those words slip from those same lips once again.

"I'm glad that you took me seriously. Don't forget. Don't get yourself killed."

The Aurors had simply thought that it was the ranting of a madman. It certainly made no sense in the situation that he was in. Only Severus had known the true meaning of the words. He had locked himself in his dungeon hours later unable to breathe. He could not sleep. Every time Severus shut eyes he could see him and what they had once done.

He was going mad. Severus was hardly the kind of person to admit that sort of thing, but as time moved forward from that moment he began to realize that he was slowly losing grasp of his hold on his life. Everything was spiraling dangerously and he could not begin to know how to bring it to a halt. Severus allowed himself only a brief moment of fear; fear that he would never be able to right his life again. It had been thirteen years, ten months, five days, six hours, and nine minutes since his life had truly changed.

It took all of the effort and will power that he had to ensure that his impassive mask was firmly in place. He could not for a moment show the strain that was suddenly bearing down on him like a heavy chain around his neck.

Part 3: Untitled

"Hello Severus…"

He spun quickly, his heart pounding madly in his ears. He stared wide eyed at the decaying Sirius Black. Severus quickly schooled his expression into a sneer, which wasn't that hard as he felt the necessary disdain for that sneer.

"How the hell did you get in here?" Severus bit out.

Here being his personal quarters in the dungeons. Sirius had been living in the caves just beyond Hogsmeade during the last few months, in a vain attempt to protect his beloved godson. He shouldn't have been there. He shouldn't have been anywhere near the school.

"I came through the doggie door," Sirius said with a vicious smirk. There was a strange light dancing in his eyes and he slowly advanced on Severus. "Albus asked to speak to me and requested that I come in person. He was kind enough to let me speak to you. It's not as if anyone would notice me here with you. You've been spending a lot of time locked in your dungeons."

Severus narrowed his eyes at Sirius, furious that he would make such an assumption.

The sound that came out of Sirius's mouth was more like a bark than he had ever recalled his laugh being. Sirius tossed his head back in amusement and then returned his steady gaze to Severus's eyes.

"Do you think I haven't talked to anyone? There are always people that are willing to talk when questions are asked. I know a lot about what you've been doing down here, locked away in your dungeon," Sirius said.

Severus took an unsteady step backwards, unconsciously attempting to put more distance between them. He could hear his own mental voice insisting that this was the end of it. i This is your punishment for what you did to him. He will finally kill you and there will not be anyone to stop him. /i

"Did you know that your colleagues think that you've started to lose touch?" Sirius asked. "They bloody think you, of all people, are starting to go crazy! Isn't that utter crap! Ha! You couldn't go crazy. You don't have any reason to go crazy. Or…do you?"

Severus's mask of annoyance faltered briefly, but he locked it back into place. "Did you have a purpose for coming here or did you simply wish to finally be hexed into oblivion?"

"I think I have a good reason for coming here. I want you to answer my question and I'll get the truth out of you even if I have to pour enough Veritaserum down your throat to kill an elephant," Sirius said. His vicious grin widened a bit more.

Sirius was nearly on top of him now, and Severus had been backed up against his bookshelf. There was nowhere to go and his eyes searched desperately for an exit. He lifted his hand holding his wand, and Sirius slapped it away so quickly that he could do nothing but watch the thin piece of wood slide across the floor and too far away for him to hope to catch or call to his side.

"Why did you do it, Severus?" Sirius asked his voice dangerously low. "You and I both know the truth about what's going on in that head of yours. You knew that it was Peter all along. You don't have to play stupid with me. You let me to go prison for a crime that I didn't commit."

"If you already know the answer to the question then why are you asking me," Severus snapped quickly.

"Because that's not the reason, obviously. You wanted me to go to prison. You could have had your peace if you gave him away, but you didn't. You chose to let me go to prison," Sirius said his voice rising with each sentence until he was shouting. "Why did you do it?!"

"Why the hell do you think?" Severus yelled back. "I wanted you to get the hell away from me! With you gone I could have my peace!"

This seemed to please Sirius even more, and there was another barking laugh. "Yes…of course. Of course…that was it. You didn't know what to do when you suddenly became attached."

Severus scoffed at the notion. "Don't be bloody ridiculous. What was there to get attached to?"

Sirius continued to laugh, stepping away from Severus. He was holding his stomach and trying to force deep gasping breathes in between each chuckle. The sight was more disturbing than his earlier aggressive actions. Azkaban had certainly stolen away from him the last hint of any semblance of sanity that he might have had.

"You bloody fool! You had the prize and you threw it away because you couldn't handle it! This is rich! I overestimated you. I thought…oh gods I thought that you honestly…" Sirius had to stop in order to allow another set of barking laughs.

Severus finally recovered himself enough to finally straighten and give Sirius a wilting stare. "Get out of my quarters immediately," he demanded. "GET OUT!"

Sirius wiped off a tear that was already sliding down his cheek from his amusement. "Don't worry, I'll leave. I promise you that you will fix this. You'll fix me and you'll fix this delusion of yours," Sirius said with his grin back firmly in place.

Severus snorted, clearly not putting much stock into the ravings of a lunatic. Sirius took the opportunity to nearly attack Severus. He grabbed him around the neck and captured his lips for a devouring kiss. Severus tried to push away, but only for just a moment before the assault sent his senses reeling from the memories that it called. Sirius's hands worked their way through his hair, carding gently in exact contrast to the harsh press of lips. Severus's knees wavered and he rested his weight against Sirius.

After several long minutes, Sirius pulled away just enough to take in a few panting breaths. "Oh yes…now…I remember that…there's no taste like that…intoxicating," he breathed against Severus's lips.

The words seemed to shake him back to the present. Severus recollected himself and slapped Sirius away, sending him to the floor. Sirius held his cheek and looked up at him, searching for something. They locked gazes for several long moments. Severus's cold stare was the personification of "if looks could kill." Sirius seemed completely unfazed by the look. He simply stood slowly and turned to leave the room.

Sirius stopped at the door, his hand on the door handle. "I'll be back, Severus…don't get yourself killed."

He stepped out into the hallway and the door shut softly behind him. Severus was left seething, reeling in anger at his parting words. It would be of no surprise if the man could hear his roar of frustration down the hall.

Part 4: Make Me Dream

Over the next several days Severus felt a range of paranoia and denial. One moment he would be convinced that Sirius Black of all people would never be able to make good on his word, and the next he was peering worriedly over his shoulder waiting for some kind of attack. Admitting his worry to himself would never happen. People whispered behind his back and for once he did not seem to notice.

After three weeks, he finally allowed himself the opportunity to relax. Black was crazy and most likely was too busy focusing on his bloody godson to worry about something as foolish as revenge. The notion was poor even in his ears, but it seemed to be the truth. He had not heard nor seen him in days.

His usual evening ritual was to return to his personal chambers after he had eaten and marked any necessary papers. If he had enough time he would call for tea and read for several hours before finally falling into bed. He had never really slept much, just a few hours was all he ever seemed to need in order to function.

Tea had been called and he collected the book that he had chosen to read. He settled in a chair by the fireplace and his favored straight-backed leather chair. After his first cup of tea, he was ready to begin to read. He opened the book carefully and found where he had left off.

i "And I know that every one will confess that it would be most praiseworthy in a prince to exhibit all the above qualities that are considered good…And I know that every one will confess that it would be most praiseworthy in a prince to exhibit all the above qualities that are considered good…" /i 1

Severus stopped, realizing that the words seemed to be repeating themselves. He blinked at the page, but it was becoming increasingly unfocused. He brought a hand to his head, which was beginning to feel oddly heavy. It was then that he realized that there had to have been something in his tea. He fumbled for the pot, knocking over his cup onto the stone floor. He tried to look inside, but his entire body was going numb and it felt as if he was moving through something thick and heavy.

"Paranoia doesn't suit you."

Severus's eyes grew wide and he looked around him frantically. The voice was coming from just behind his chair however and he could not bring himself to face him.

"The proud Slytherin…that's how you've always been. What have you done to yourself?" Sirius breathed these words softly by his ear.

A faint gasp slipped out as a shiver ran down his spine. "Wh-what…?" The words were difficult to form in his mouth.

"What have I done? You'll find that I can be just as resourceful with potions as you, Potions Master. During school I had an interest in dreams. I learned a few interesting charms and potions that helped draw out the unconscious mind," Sirius explained as he came around the chair and began to collect Severus into his arms. "People can be stubborn, but if you peel away those defenses that they keep up to protect themselves, they can learn so much more about themselves."

Sirius managed to slowly transport Severus into the bedroom. He didn't appear to be strong enough to lift Severus on his own and he was forced to resort to levitation charms to ensure that he was comfortably laid out in the bed. Sirius slowly peeled away Severus's clothing with medical precision, leaving everything neatly draped at the foot of the bed. He dressed him in a night shirt that fell below his knees.

"I think it's time that you learn a bit more about yourself," Sirius said conversationally. He conjured a chair and put it beside the bed. "Once you know everything that I already know then perhaps you can start to correct the mess that you've made."

Severus was furious and wanted nothing more than to throttle Black for his actions. Sirius's potion was obviously well made as he was completely useless. He was still conscious for the moment, though he speculated that it would not last much longer.

"Go…away…" Severus forced out.

"No, Severus. I have no intention of leaving. You can't even begin to understand what you did to me. I don't really think that I want you to know the full extent," Sirius said pausing for a moment with a grimace. "There's something truly wrong with you and I can't leave you here without helping you through it. You can curse me all you want, but I won't be satisfied until I know that you're better."

It certainly did not make an ounce of sense to Severus. There was a faint brush of something electric through his body at the sound of his name slipping out of Sirius's lips. It immediately brought back a memory that he had all but forgotten. Sirius collected one of Severus's hands in his own, just as he felt that memory pulling him away into slumber.

"No…no…not that…"

The memory was rather simple. He was lying in this very bed tired and sated. Sirius was there with him, wrapped around him in fact. It was strange the way that Sirius acted after they coupled. As it was, Severus was too tired to complain about it. Somehow Sirius was always able to exhaust him until he could not bear to move.

At this time, Sirius was toying with his hair in a way that should have been annoying. It was actually rather soothing and he felt a faint ache that he had been unaware of previously dulling slowly. The touch was gentle and under most circumstances would have been considered affectionate. Severus could not even begin to fathom this fact however.

Sirius talked to him softly, not saying anything of vast importance. He commented vaguely about his friends and about the turn of the war. The soft voice brushed against his ear and brought out a small sigh from him. He started to drift in that vague space between awake and asleep, enough that it added an almost hazy feel to his thoughts.

"I wish that this didn't have to end. I wish I didn't have to leave for another mission tomorrow morning," Sirius said. His voice was thick with obvious regret. "I miss you, holding you…touching you…all of this when I have to leave."

i I hate that you leave. You take this feeling with you. /i

That was not something that he had remembered before. Had he really thought that at the time? There was more coming to him now, more that his sleep clouded mind had allowed him to remember before.

"I just wish that you didn't have to push me aside," Sirius said. He let out a faint chuckle. "Though I suppose I should stop rising to the bait you offer me whenever we meet."

i I do not know how to…do that… /i

"You are important, Severus. I'll keep your secret I swear it. I'll do everything in my power to help you, support you, take care of you," Sirius said. "Just please…please promise me that you'll be safe. Don't get yourself killed."

i Care…? Yes…yes! I swear…I swear… /i

"Oh…gods…"

Severus sucked in a breath at the swell of emotions that threatened to drown him. It was a feeling he could not recall having since he was young, when he was still in school and looking for something. He could not say what it was that he wanted. He did not understand the strange abstract emotions. There were no names and there had never been anyone for him to explain them to.

A hand reached out and traced gently across his forehead and he could not stop the whimper that broke free. It hurt to be touched that way. It hurt to feel these emotions. It was like a fist tightening in his chest, squeezing something deep inside of him.

"Severus…"

His eyes opened suddenly and he pulled away from the edge of the bed where Sirius hovered over him.

"What are you…? Get away from me!" Severus said, sitting up and putting a hand to his forehead.

A steaming cup was held out in front of him and Severus reached out for it unconsciously. It was the scent of comfort and he gratefully drank from it. The warmth slid through his shaking body and eased out the sudden tension. It made him feel ready to properly resolve this situation.

The cup was placed on the nightstand beside him and Severus looked at Sirius, who had resumed his seat beside the bed. He had obviously been unconscious for sometime. Sirius's hair was still shower damp and he was now wearing something from his own wardrobe. It brought a sneer to Severus's face, but it was almost completely smothered as he continued his inspection.

His first look at Sirius after the twelve years had been like looking at some kind of monster. He had been painfully thin, his hair in messy disgusting knots. The face that had once been full had only been a pale shadow of what it once was. Sirius had not changed a great deal from what he had been on that night. The greatest difference appeared to be that he was cleaner. His hair shone with the faint lamp light coming from the nightstand. His cheeks were no longer dirt smudged, but paler than porcelain. His eyes were hollow, and dark circles wrapped around them. It was as if he were a living corpse.

Severus pushed down the lump that was forming in his throat. He schooled his expression into his ever-present sneer and looked down his nose at Sirius. "You won't be able to hold me here forever," he said. "The longer you keep me, the more likely they will find you. What good would that do your beloved godson?" He spat the word beloved as if it were something disgusting.

"You may be right, but it won't matter. If I leave here tonight…I'll come back again and again until I've accomplished what I want," Sirius said. His expression was dry and did nothing to hint at the emotions that might be whirling in his mind. "I know your weaknesses and I know your defenses. I know you better than anyone else in the world."

Severus scoffed at that notion. Sirius just shook his head. "You have a routine and you never deviate from it. I've been watching you, just enough to know that you haven't changed a bit. Well, except that whole running away from the shadows…"

Severus glared at Sirius. The notion was completely absurd. There were no shadows for him to run from. Perhaps he had recently been cautious and rightly so as Sirius had proved himself to be extremely dangerous. He would have words with the Headmaster as soon as possible to prevent this from happening in the future.

Sirius reached out and lightly pushed Snape back down onto the bed, his body strangely unresisting. Severus looked faintly panicked for a moment. "You drugged my tea again!" he growled.

"Easier to catch you unawares," Sirius agreed. "I'm not here to hurt you. Well…I'm sure you'll claim otherwise…" He sighed and looked a bit forlorn. "But that's simply another part of you that I've accepted."

His eyes grew heavy and despite his efforts to keep them open they would not. "Blast you…Black…" he cursed in a slurred voice.

A hand reached out and gently trailed through his hair, that once again familiar feeling. The ache growing in his chest as it had in his last dream. It throbbed sharply and made him want to cry out. He held it in somehow, perhaps simply not having the strength to act upon the desire.

"What…do you…expect from me?" Severus forced out.

"You don't need to be afraid of that feeling," Sirius whispered, leaning in close. His voice grew just a bit softer. "It won't hurt you…it doesn't have to hurt you. If you could accept it…accept me…"

The voice trailed off as Severus once again succumbed to the potion-induced sleep.

1 This is an excerpt from Nicolo Machiavelli's "The Prince."