This is done partially because of the song 'untitled' and partially due to this kid at my school dieing. So...be prepared to be sad i guess. :( I decided to take a more objective approach to this one tho by not making it anyone's pov. Although it's not completely objective, it's somewhere in between that and third person subjective. Not quite either. So if I screwed up and put 'I' anywhere in there it's because i'm not used to doing stories this way. :)
It was a strange feeling she had as she heard the news. Strange not because of the news itself, but because it had come on a day that she had been having the perfect day. Whenever something was going to go wrong like this she always had a feeling. Whether that feeling came from the way the clouds were dark and ominous or from random little accidents she had like breaking dishes or just being an overall klutz, there was always something. Only not this time. He had called like he always did at eleven pm the night before saying that he would be out longer then expected and that he loved her. She had said so back and hung up the phone. She immediately went to pray at her bedside after that, knowing deep down that he'd need all the luck he could get. And yeah…that's all God was to her…luck. Kind of like a shiny penny on heads or a four leaf clover, only better. God's luck, as she learned growing up, was so much more to lean on. If you leaned on him then you would surely never fall. Perhaps this belief of hers was why this happened, she didn't have full faith. God was nearly imaginary for her.
She then set off to cook an extravagant meal for her and her soon to be born baby. Now that she was so close to her due date she could eat like a horse and then some. She figured this was so because she was carrying a boy. She didn't think the principal 'boys eat more' applied to unborn children but she liked to think so. It made her feel less fat.
After having cooked and eaten the meal she meandered around the house cleaning up what her husband had failed to, moved the furniture that was small enough for her to handle around to make the room feel more fresh, and just did anything to preoccupy herself. She did so for an hour or so until she felt she had waited up for him long enough. She needed rest. And with that she went to the bathroom, washing her face and such before heading to bed. It felt empty to her without her husband by her side despite the fact she was used to his absence. She just wanted to feel him next to her again. She wanted things to be as they were before…that was all.
She drifted off to sleep thinking of seeing him again in the morning and of the conversation they'd had earlier that day. It was this conversation she was thinking of now as she stared into the sympathetic eyes of the men before her. It was all she had to hold on to aside from that final 'I love you.'
"Hey baby." he said to her as he walked into the kitchen in shorts and a t-shirt at noon, arms outstretched. She left her position at the stove to fall into him, her arms closing around him as his arms did to her. "Glad to see ya." he cooed, kissing her softly on the forehead.
She laughed lightly at him. "Come on, don't be shy." she teased.
His trademark smirk formed on his lips. "I won't be." he pulled her as close as he could to him considering her large stomach and passionately kissed her lips. It took her no time at all to respond by kissing him back. She never felt more alive then when they did something like this. The only thing better was sex, which she was dieing to have again soon.
She broke the kiss. "I love you." she breathed, looking seductively up into his teal colored eyes.
He smiled softly down at her, eyes full of unbound love. "Same here." He liked to avoid the topic of 'love' in most scenarios. He felt that it was showing to much weakness on his part and that as long as they knew they loved each other that it was the same. She didn't quite agree with his philosophy but went along with it regardless. She didn't like to fight with him, especially not over something as trivial as this.
She kissed him once more for a brief moment, basking in the attention she was receiving. "Come on." She said, "It's time to eat lunch." She lead him over to the table, seating him.
He laughed at her comment. "Aw, but I haven't even had breakfast." He half whined, not really meaning it.
"Well it's either grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup or cereal." She teased back.
"Lunch it is!" she laughed softly at him, bringing him a plate full of sandwiches and a bowl filled to the brim with soup, acting as if she were his servant. In a way she kind of was. Still she didn't mind. She enjoyed doing his bidding. All that mattered was that he was happy with her and his lifestyle.
They ate most the meal in silence, him only speaking to tell her of something that had happened while he was out the night before and her to react to his story. After this he left her again. He had to work around the clock to be able to support her and the soon to be born baby. It saddened her, but she knew there was nothing either of them could do about it. If she didn't let him go they were at liberty to starve. So she waved at him through the window of their tiny four room house as he drove off, not expecting him to return until the early hours of the morning. And that day was no exception. He did not come back, not even for dinner…
12 am…
He had been at a bar since eleven, not quite being true to his wife about where he was all day long. Still for the most part all he did was work. He deserved a little break at least once every day. And he chose to take that break late, partying it up with his best buds. He got pretty drunk every day too, that's why he slept till noon. He didn't want his wife, Courtney, to see that he had a major hangover. If she ever did notice she'd bitch about him ignoring the family and not caring about the kid and probably question what went on during my 'breaks'. And he had to admit, he didn't think he could lie to her. he'd have to tell her that he really was a dick because of the way he acted, sleeping with other women, paying to watch strippers, and what not. It was a horrible truth but a truth none the less. He needed to stop with his juvenile behavior before it was to late. Pretty soon he'd wind up digging his own grave. Not a real grave mind you, but just a big hole he would not be able to escape without letting something slip. It didn't help that at this moment he was making out with a blonde haired, blue eyed girl with the hottest body ever. His conscience was killing him but he just couldn't stop. He touched her in ways you were only to touch the woman you were married to. It didn't help that she was already naked at this point. It made her harder to resist. He wanted her so badly, he needed the sex. If only he didn't have anything stopping him. He pulled away from her. "I…I can't do this." He muttered distractedly.
"Sure you can." The lady countered, leaping toward him and latching her arms around his neck as well as pressed her body up against him.
"No…" he tried to convince himself, trying to look away.
"Yes." She hissed smoothly, locking her lips with his so as to shut him up. This, in the end, was what did it. He couldn't keep himself from her. He had no control. He did it again.
Immediately after he had committed this act he felt immense guilt as she lied peacefully on top of him. He couldn't believe himself. Why had he allowed himself to give in to temptation? He was so going to hell one day. He sighed deeply, rolling her off of him. She stirred, but fell right back into sleep soon after. He then made to put his clothes back on, fussing at himself all the while. He hated himself. He was horrible. He couldn't do this anymore. After tonight he would never do this again. He'd go back home right after his work was done. He would have dinner with his wife again and he would be there for their kid. There was no if and or buts about it. He would do this. He couldn't afford not to. He would become the perfect man! Or…at least try.
He went to round up the boys, slightly disoriented and off balance. "Mark! Caleb!" He cried, looking about as best he could since he was drunk. He saw a few heads turn, there obviously being more Mark's and Caleb's here then just his friends. He rolled his eyes. Even so he didn't need to say anything more. He'd seen the two he was looking for and went to get the both of them. He reached Mark first. He was downing drinks for some contest. "Come on." He muttered, grabbing Mark by the arm and dragging him away from the bar table.
"Duncan…" he said slurred, stumbling along behind Duncan as he was pulled. "I was winnin'."
"I don't care. We're leaving. So you better not run off." Duncan ordered him, heading toward his second mischievous comrade. "Caleb!" he yelled.
"Hu…" Caleb said in a way only a severely drunk person would.
He grabbed Caleb with his other free hand and dragged the pair of them out the bar doors. "We're going home."
"Aww." The two said in unison, doing nothing to fight Duncan.
He threw Mark in the back seat on the drivers side and Caleb in the front seat. He didn't trust either of them driving. They were far to drunk. Sure he was pretty bad to but at least it wasn't so obvious. He didn't slur when he talked. They'd be safer this way. He jumped in the driver seat, sticking the key in and gunning it. A loud blast of music reached his ears, shocking him for a brief moment. Fortunately he quickly got used to it. "Alright. Who wants to go home first?" Neither volunteered. This was the way they always were since they too had wives that they were afraid to go home to. He sighed. "Fine. Mark, you're first this time around." Duncan knew that him deciding for them was the only way they'd get going.
They drove on for thirty minutes or so, like usual. He had to take a back road to get going in the right direction of his friends house, unlike with Caleb. But for the most part it was no different then the night before had been. He was coming up on a bridge now, the noises growing by the minute. Not the noise of the wild, it was quite peaceful out there. He would have enjoyed it too if not for his 'friends'.
The funny thing is they were driving rather well for drunks. Most in their position would be all over the road, swerving in and out of the way of oncoming traffic, running red lights, and just being an overall nuisance. But not them. They, or more so, Duncan, was abiding by the laws of the road. The only thing anyone could have called them out on was the fact he was a bit above the speed limit and was without a seatbelt. None of this was a major problem. However, the two in the back were certainly a problem. They were hooting and hollering so loud that they could have passed as a whole club. They were a distraction for the young man at the wheel. "Stop it!!" he screeched, attempting to be as loud as they were being. They instantly silenced. "You all are acting like a bunch of kids!" he said this every day, but nothing changed. The pair always forgot his rants by the next day. "You all are unbelievable! I swear you're worse then all the kids in the world combined!" Then came his mistake. He turned his head away from the road to glare back at them. "So. Shut. The fuck. Up." he ordered in a deadly tone. The rest was in slow motion for him. First he noticed their petrified expressions, not quite registering that he was not the cause. "What!?!" Duncan had time to say. Then Caleb and Mark raised their shaking arms to point past him. And it finally registered. Duncan swirled around just in time to see the looming figure of a truck a few feet ahead of him. He froze. And it was this moment of hesitation that ultimately sealed his fate.
He wasn't functioning well enough to do anything about the groups impending doom but he half registered the fact the larger vehicle was turning away from them, the squeal of the other's tires slicing through the air and stinging Duncan's ears. But the drivers efforts were in vain, Duncan's last fleeting thought being 'I'll never see my baby.' The vehicles smashed into each other, thrusting both forward on impact. The glass shattered, creating a ringing sound, as Duncan was thrown straight through the windshield, hitting the front of the opposite car with tremendous force enough to bust his head open. The passengers were about as. They, like Duncan, had failed to wear their seatbelts and were being tossed about like rag dolls as the truck continued to plow into the left side, compacting the car. The screech of metal grinding was practically torture on the ears. So, in a way, it was good when the truck managed to flip the car over into the air, catching Duncan on the roof of it and catapulting him to greater lengths before he met the concrete with a horrid snap that was many of his bones shattering. He didn't know it yet, but his legs, an arm, and jaw were now useless to him. He was knocked out to boot.
The car landed shortly after smacking into the concrete much like Duncan had only with less consequence as it skidded for a few feet to rest not far from the good as dead boy. The two into the car had been jettisoned from within through the windows, Mark being lucky enough to land on the soft grass while Caleb had much of the same treatment as Duncan. He broke all the same bones with an additional collar bone.
The car landed shortly after smacking into the concrete much like Duncan had only with less consequence as it skidded for a few feet to rest not far from the good as dead boy. The two into the car had been jettisoned from within through the windows, Mark being lucky enough to land on the soft grass while Caleb had much of the same treatment as Duncan. He broke all the same bones with an additional collar bone. Caleb emitted a bloodcurdling scream, blood spilling from all over his body. He would not make it. He knew it. He would just suffer the remainder of his time living. Mark heard his friends cry and felt a shiver run up his spine. It was awful. He wished he could do something, but he was frozen, staring upon the horrific scene. Their car was nothing but scrap metal, flames engulfing what was left of it, Duncan lay limp on the concrete and Caleb rolled about shrieking. He could barely breath. And yet it was strangely peaceful. The flames were like dancers before him, enticing him as well as giving him a pleasant feeling. The fire crackled, like a voice. He noticed the man from the truck out away from the scene. He was holding a phone...
There were sirens shortly, a mix of ambulances, fire trucks, and police. Mark thanked god for that. He didn't know if it'd matter for the other two, but he wanted to live. He knew it was selfish. Thus was human nature. So when he was lifted from his position on the ground and moved into the back of an ambulance he was more then happy. So happy that he was blind to the sudden explosion of their vehicle.
Duncan woke to be greeted by the thunderous sound of an explosion, pieces of their car flying in all directions, carrying flames with them. The ones that landed on the grass immediately spread the flames. The fire moved like a cheetah, making it's way toward unsuspecting prey. Duncan still wasn't functioning right though, so he couldn't connect the fire with danger and simply lay where he was, staring into the sinister eyes of the flame. It was after him, it wanted to get him, and kill him. All he knew was that he was hurting, hurting so bad he could cry and he wished he would just die already. There was no hope for his survival, he had sustained to many injuries at this point. So why wouldn't god kill him already? Was it some kind of punishment for his unfaithfulness or juvenile behavior? He didn't know. He liked to believe so, either that or the universe hated him. He writhed in pain as these thoughts crossed his mind. He needed it to stop!! And it would soon. He didn't know it yet, but the instant the cars made contact he had been doomed to die. Nothing in the world could have saved him from his illness. He had had it all his life, he knew it. But this crash would trigger a string of seizures that no man on earth could live from. And so it did. Moments after everyone had been piled into the ambulances he began to seize. He lost all control he had left, arms and legs hitting anything in their radius. The doctors in the back were frantic, nothing they did was helping. The only way to make it stop was to let it go on until he was dead or give him something to kill him now. They didn't know what to do. Their morals were getting in the way of them making a decision. They couldn't kill him it was wrong! But was it so wrong when it was putting him out of his misery? What could they do…?
Lucky for them, or unlucky depending on how you look at it, they didn't have to choose. Before they made it to the hospital he had ceased his thrashing. Still this was no joyous occasion for he had also ceased breathing. The intensity of the seizure combined with length of it had left him without oxygen for to long. He was still as stone, eyes shut tight, and limbs sticking every which way. The doctors looked upon him with sadness. He hadn't had a chance. Of coarse their sadness was short lived since they had to attend to the others who were still among the living. They didn't need another death hanging over their heads. So with that they rushed them to the ER, not giving a second thought to the dead boy they left behind. They didn't wonder if he had a family, they didn't care. They didn't stop to consider that he had been loved. To them he was nothing more then a drunk driver, an unnecessary burden, a dead body…
Caleb died not long after arriving. His injuries were also to severe and he had lost to much blood. Another dead body. Mark made it, as did the truck driver. They both learned something that day too. You only have one life, so you better make the best of it and live right or you'll regret it. For death doesn't care of your age or if you have a family, it will accept you no matter the circumstances. You can't run from it, there's no where to hide, it'll get you…it'll get us all…some day. That is the story of Duncan.
4 pm…
She stood before two well built police men who had sympathetic faces put on for the sake of pretending they cared. She knew they didn't. No one could. At first she had been dumbstruck by their words, now she was just upset. Her hand covered her mouth and dull green eyes held a look of fear, hurt, and most of all hate as tears fought their way down her face. "No…" she breathed. "No…it can't be."
"We're sorry ma'am." the one on her right muttered, head lowered a bit. He didn't have to force his sadness as much as the other. He was new to this and honestly felt bad about telling her this while the other had been going at it for years and had now learned that the only way to do it was to pretend. Nothing went right when you wound up sad for the victims. You had to detach yourself from them in any and all ways possible. It was the only way.
She wanted to yell at them, tell them that they were full of crap! Only she couldn't. She just started to shake, sobs racking her body as she sank to the floor. She held herself in a fetal position of the sorts. She kept whispering. "Liars…liars…liars…" over and over again. She was making a fool of herself, it's true, but what did they expect? She had lost her husband, the father of their child, and now would have to raise it on her own. It wasn't right. This wasn't the way it was supposed to happen. That's how she felt.
The policemen stood there for a time, watching her go through phases of unimaginable grief and anger before the more experienced one spoke. "I wish you well." he lied through his teeth, turning on his heel shortly after. The other officer lingered at the door a while after the more experienced officer had left. He couldn't help but feel as if he hadn't done enough. To him it was wrong to just leave someone to themselves while they were in so much pain. But words failed him. There was nothing he or anyone else could say to heal the damage to her heart. Only time had that kind of power, and oh how much time that would take. There was nothing worse then the loss of a loved one.
"Alex!" the officer snapped, making a stern face at him. Alex grimaced lightly, giving one last fleeting look to the poor girl at his feet before turning away to the car. He could only wish that she would get over this and go on to live a happy life with her child. She deserved it.
The next day…
She went to the funeral like she knew she should, but it didn't help, not even a little. If anything it made the pain in her heart worse. She still wasn't ready to accept the fact that he was gone and would never come back. It was to much. She would have to see what the following days, weeks, and months would bring for her and her baby. She twinged. It was horrible having to say 'her' baby instead of 'their' baby. Sure she guessed she'd get used to it. It was just an awful thought to process only a day after having been delivered the news of the crash.
She moved almost mechanically from the funeral on through the rest of the day. Nothing seemed right. Everything held a piece of him. The tv because he had hated the thing for being so fragile. She'd always laughed at him, saying that he must not like her very much then either. They then proceeded to wrestle around the room. The couch because it was where he would frequently be banished to for being an ass. She sighed. The kitchen was no better. It brought her back to a time when he had attempted to cook something for her on her birthday. It had turned out awful and he made the biggest mess imaginable to man. The thought made her giggle a bit. But the happiness was only the length of a millisecond. Being happy without him seemed wrong to her and she couldn't bear to show the smallest bit of pleasure from anything, especially things related to him.
After that she wandered upstairs toward the bedroom, freezing in the doorway as another thought hit her hard. She remembered one of the first nights that they'd been together in this bed. It had been so wonderful. The feeling of him beside her was more then she could have asked for. There was nothing better then the feeling of having someone there for you at any moment. There was no fear of being to weak in the face of life. You were safe in the warm embrace of your significant other. She cringed, tears forming in her bloodshot eyes. She felt like crap. She needed to do something to improve her appearance. She walked slowly over to the mirror on the wall, flicking her hair from her face to get a good look at herself. She couldn't keep her eyes on herself for long, she shut her eyes tight. "I'm awful..." she muttered to herself.
"No you're not." she swore she heard a voice say. Her eyes flew open, a crazed look in them. 'What the hell...?' she thought, 'Am I crazy...' Her insanity was further enforced when she glimpsed a reflection she knew wasn't hers. She froze. In fact...the face staring back at her was none other then Duncan. She was so stunned that she nearly fell backwards onto the floor, only catching herself thanks to the bed beside her. "No...you're dead."
"I know." his face said back to her, sadness etched into his features. "And I'm sorry."
She blinked twice to see if she could get the image of him to disappear, he did not. Still, somehow this outcome pleased her. She'd do anything to be able to touch his perfect face once more, but this would have to do. "It's not your fault." she insisted, still unsure if this was real. "You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time." she lowered her gaze, an ache gripping at her heart again.
He smiled softly at her. "Thanks." he whispered, reaching his translucent hand toward her. "Just promise me one thing."
She nodded slowly. "Yes?" she couldn't see nor physically feel his hand on her skin but she could sense that there was something, a presence of the sorts. In response to the feeling she automatically brought her hand up to her cheek, her hands passing through his with no resistance. He was nothing more then a figment of her mind of course. Sure in a sense he was there, he was all around her, but not in the way normal people were. He was the air she breathed, the sun that lit her way, the kind touch of the wind, and the moon as well. He was never gone. This was when she realized what he was going to say.
"Don't be sad over me. I want you to live like you would if I were there. Never give up on life, be there for our baby, and just be happy." he paused, adding after, "For me. If nothing else...then for me." the smile slipped from his face and he drew back his hand.
She smiled then, the first real smile since the day before. She didn't mind her insanity, not if it brought her such happiness as this. "I'll do it. I promise." she whispered, stepping back a step. She didn't need him for anything more. She understood now that all she had needed from him was an 'order' that said 'it's ok to be hurt, but don't let the pain hinder your life.' After hearing that she did not feel quite as bound to him. They were no longer together, they had to live separately. That is if there was really a life after death. She shuddered at the notion that there might not be. There must be! There was no way there wasn't! She nodded firmly. Yes...there was a heaven.
His smile returned. Whether it was because he was truly happy at her answer or just him leaving his smile as the last impression she did not know. "I love you..." were his last words before the image of him in the mirror vanished and he was lost to her forever.
"I love you too..." she breathed even after he had disappeared, sighing softly.
She then went straight to bed, finding no need to cry herself to sleep like the night before. She did, however, let her thoughts wander to the gun she knew Duncan hid in their dresser. She knew it would be easier that way. So...easy. "NO." a voice that she knew was Duncan's screamed in her head. "You promised." she nodded. She knew she did. She knew she couldn't go back on it. Besides, life may not be perfect for her, but that didn't mean it wasn't worth living...
So...how was it? I hope it wasn't to terribly sad. I'm sure the third person pov helped with that. And if you don't get the end bit, he wasn't really there. She was basically imaging him and what he would tell her. She was a mite bit crazy. x.x But he was there in spirit, so when she 'felt' him she wasn't crazy. Review plz!! :D