On LiveJournal I asked my friends what they wanted for the holidays and marmaladegirl said, "Either art or ficton for me, as long as it features Ash Lynx. "
So I decided upon art, which I never did get around to. I realized I feared trying to do an Ash POV again, so I thought 'Practice makes perfect' and so I decided to write a fic as I had originally wanted to do.
I own nothing.
Uozumi
Forever
We all make mistakes. I've made mine, and every time I look at you now, I remember them. I wonder what you would say if I told you I was once like this with Arthur, if I told you the true reason we wound up in a knife fight, why I cut his fingers. I want to tell you, but I hold back. I know I keep you in the dark, and I know that hurts you, but to know the truth I think would hurt more.
I don't want to lose you. I don't want to do this either, but I want to at the same time. I think that's why we're lying here, I think that's why I almost died.
You trust me and you shouldn't. I haven't proven it to you yet, and I don't want to. I think that just knowing who I am should be proof enough, yet you stand by me. You promised that you would be with me always, and that makes this worse.
I can't live in the straight world and you shouldn't live in mine, but here you are where I need you. I know I probably took something from you tonight. Watching as you sleep, back turned to me I close my eyes and look away, a pang of guilt. I feel it so much. I look at you and it hurts. I need to get you away from me, away from here. I can't have your forever. When I remember that, when you leaned out of the car window and shouted to me, "I wait for you...always." I can't forget, and whenever I remmember it hurts.
I'm not someone you should be waiting for. I'm not someone you should be with like this.
The End