A/N: just a short story about one of my favourite couples, Nate and Serena. It's just me trying to write something else than Brucas, I didn't like how it turned out. But I hope you'll enjoy it. :D
She had known him forever; he had always been a part of her life. But more importantly, Serena had wanted that boy forever. From the moment he looked at her in kinder garden, standing in the corner with his teddy bear. He had these blue eyes that could see right through her, even back then. At the age of five Serena Van der Woodsen knew that if she would ever know love, he was the one that was going to show her it. And blue was always her favourite colour.
When they were eight Blair Waldorf declared for the whole Upper East Side that she would become Mrs. Nathanial Archibald. She made it clear that he was her Prince Charming and that no one could ever take him away from her. The brunette was used to getting what she wanted, never had she known defeat. And not once did she ask her future husband what he wanted.
"We are alike, you and me." He simply said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. They were sitting alone in a corner; Blair and Chuck were going on about something. With them there was always something. "Yeah, we have blue eyes and blonde hair." She laughed. "No silly, that was not what I meant." Serena knew exactly what he meant.
They first kiss at the beach in the Hamptons. They are twelve years old and neither one of them thought they would make it this long without giving in to temptation. His lips slowly found their way to hers and she could finally let herself feel something. Anything. Everything. She knew it was wrong. He was Blair's boyfriend and she was her best friend. It was typical that something so wrong felt so incredible good. And in a way so incredible right. But they were just kids, right? It didn't count.
It wasn't supposed to happen. At least not like this. They were alone at a bar. It was kisses and touches all around. Their bodies fitted perfectly and his skin against hers made her shiver. It was everything she thought it would be, but on the other hand was not enough. Because he was still not hers. She had heard him speak of love, but the words were not meant for her. The I love yous he was whispering broke her heart.
She was running as fast as possible with high heels on. Her body covered by a white shirt. His shirt. It contained the same smell that still lingered in her mind and laid all over her skin. She could still feel his touch and his lips linked to hers. He was not hers to take. He never was, and never would be. So therefore she ran away from it all. Away from him.
His smiling face is the first one to meet her when she returns. The second one is his girlfriend. Her best friend. The one she hasn't talked to in a year, since she betrayed her in the worst way. She has to get out of there. Breathe again. She can't breathe when she's in the same room as him.
I didn't come back for you. She doesn't know why she says it. Because deep down he is the reason, she did come back for him. But it's easier to hide behind other things. She had never really chased him. And she wasn't about to start now. Because she is afraid Nate might be the one boy that can truly break her heart. In fact he already kind of did. So she turns her back on him. Walks away from him and his sad blue eyes. Blue is still her favourite colour, but it doesn't really matter.
She looses him, they loose each other. And in a way she thinks it's for the best. Because the one time they were alone, when he touched her hand she could feel it again, and her heart was not ready for it. She finds herself a boy, a nice boy. Someone that is different. He's as far from Nate you can get. And he is sweet and loving. And for a while she thinks she loves him, she tells him that. She tricks herself, because she forgets that her heart has known true love. Sadly this isn't it.
She tells her mum it's forever, because that is what she believes, at least wants to believe. She sees him with other women. Blair and Vanessa. How he cares for them and loves them. How they are not her.
She breaks up with her Brooklyn boy in her mums wedding. She cries and all she wants is for him to comfort her. Like he did when they were six and she fell down from the swing. It's going to be okay, S. because I'll be here to take care of you. But he has his own problems and a world she's left out of.
Blair and Chuck, who would have guessed that? She is glad to see her best friend so happy. And a part of her is glad it's not with Nate. Though it's not important, because Nate is the one thing she promised she would not take from Blair. The one thing she would leave alone. But then he is right there in front of her. And she can't help it. If you wanna reflect alone together, I'll be around.
They pretend they're together, though she thinks they are not fooling anyone. He has an affair with a married woman and wants a cover-up. She only wants him. Its book club and ice coffees, walks on the beach and badminton in her garden. And then there is a kiss. A big one. So big she can't let go of it. Wow. Then there's just pain and escaping. Running away again. Because she promised. She would never take him and he was not for her.
Dan is her way out; she thinks she really can fall in love with him. For real this time. It doesn't last. It was doomed from the start. Blue is still her favourite colour, she just can't help it.
He is older and cute and she kind of always had a crush on him. Tripp Vanderbilt is an older version of Nate. When she can't have the real thing, why not settle for what's second best? And he does make her heart jump, make her feel special. He is forbidden fruit and it's exciting.
She and Nate have had a little fall-out, but when the pressure starts to break her he is the only one she can talk to. He is the only one that truly understands her and even though they've lost each other on the way, she can always count on him.
He is so sweet and understanding, she tells him she has a crush on his married cousin and he doesn't send her away or yell at her. He just locks his blue eyes in hers and in that moment she can feel that everything is going to be alright. Because he is there for her, even though he's not hers.
I loved you. The words hit her in the face like her high heels use to hit the pavements. He is so genuine and she almost believes him. But she has to ask. Of course I did. Serena, you're the most beautiful, amazing alive person I've ever known. She is not ready for this, but when he slowly reaches out for her and his lips move closer to hers, like they did when they were twelve, she thinks it's the most natural and amazing thing. She doesn't know why she decides to run again. Run away from him and his blue eyes. She thinks it's because of her promise and the fact that Nate is the one boy that scares her to death. But when she kisses Tripp that night, she can't stop thinking about how blue always will be her favourite colour.
Just stay here with me. Just give me a chance. The words still lingers in her mind when she sits next to his cousin in the car. She runs again and again. He is just so much of everything. These feelings she has for him, scares her and excites her at the same time. He is so familiar, but yet so full of surprises. He is just Nate. And that's everything she will ever want, ever need.
She runs again. She runs as fast as ever. Because this time she is not running away, escaping the reality of her love. She is running to him. To everything she could possible want. Nothing can stop her this time. Stop them.
"Nate!" She screams as soon as she is out of the elevator. She needs to see him right now, before she looses all her courage. She finds him sitting in the living room, drinking. She thinks she can see a tear in the corner of his eye.
"Hey…" She slowly walks towards him. He stands up and just looks at her, not a word leaves his lips. He looks so lost and hurt. It breaks her that she is the one that have made him hurt like this, that she has put tears in his eyes.
"What are you doing here, Serena?" She takes his hands and makes him stay there with her. She will not let go, not ever again. "I love you, Natie." She smiles at him; these four words have been inside of her for almost thirteen years. It feels so good to finally say it out loud, freeing in a way. She sees that it catches him by surprise. For a second she regrets it, because he gives her no response. But then the world feels whole again.
"I love you too." He cracks one of his cute smiles. "Always have and always will. It has always been you, Serena." With these words stuck to her brain she kisses him. He tastes whiskey, chocolate and familiarity. He tastes love and hope and forever. They can both feel it; this is something special and life changing. There is no going back now. Just the two of them together. Forever.
Blue would always be here favourite colour...