Novanto's Note: This song is meant to be sung to the tune of "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch".
MR. McLEAN
You're a mean one, Mr. McLean
You really are a heel,
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel, Mr. McLean,
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mister McLean,
Your heart's an empty hole,
Your brain is full of spiders,
You have garlic in your soul, Mr. McLean,
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine & a half foot pole!
You're a foul one, Mister McLean,
You have termites in your smile,
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile, Chris McLean,
Given a choice between the two of you I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a rotter, Mister McLean,
You're the king of sinful sots,
Your heart's a dead tomato
Splotched with moldy purple spots, Chris McLean,
You're a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!
You nauseate me, Mister McLean,
With a nauseous super 'naus'!
You're a crooked dirty jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss, Chris McLean,
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!
You're a foul one, Mister Mclean,
You're a nasty wasty skunk,
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk, Chris McLean,
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, 'Devious, funny, gleefully cruel'!