Chapter One: I dreamed a dream
Disclaimer: I don't own The Originals or Vampire Diaries. I am just a humble fan.
Author's note: This is set after Bonnie and Damon returned from the other side. A few things have changed. There is no Hope and Steroline didn't happen as in the show. Please Review if you like this story and would like me to continue or if this should be continued. Thanks!
I dreamed that you died and the fear devastated me so much that it followed me into my waking life. It stayed with me when I attempted to wash it away in the shower. It loomed in the back of my mind as I tried to mask with laughter. The fear became so strong, some people even noticed it there even though they didn't know what it was.
Losing people isn't new to me, but this fear and pain rivaled the loss of my mother. A loss that drove me to turn off my humanity and make some grave mistakes. It was easier for me to live with killing 12 witches or losing Bonnie again, then it was to feel what I felt when I dreamed you were gone.
For the first time since I met you the idea that I could lose you became real. Not once did I actually think it was possible.
You presented yourself everyone's devil, the monster under the bed that scared the monster's under our beds. And I believed it. I believed you when you said you were the alpha male. I believed you when you told everyone there was no killing you. You were the first hybrid. This mix of wolf and vampire. Both alive and undead, born at a time when there was nothing like you in existence. I was in awe of your majesty and seduced by your power.
You were Ecstasy to me, an addiction I couldn't afford to have but foolishly tried to hide. As if no one would ever find out. Even when my friends tried to rid themselves of you the fear I have now didn't appear. It was impossible. I joined them knowing it was a fool's errand. Even more so, I wanted to see you work and navigate like only you do. It wouldn't have surprised me if you could see it. See how my addiction grew with every meeting we had.
Had you seen it? Had you purposely fed my want of your darkness knowing how hard it would be to resist?
It just seems like something you would do. How passionate you are. How strongly you want things and go after them without worry of others. It isn't always right but it is you and it is one of the reasons that intrigues me.
Perhaps I wished some of your virtues for myself and that is where the compulsion started. It didn't hurt that your face held such an enticing smirk. Or that your eyes were always so kind to me. Even after everything we went through together. After the yelling and hurting each other. You were kind to me before you left, you were kind each time I said no to you.
You said you'd be patient for me. I guess I just thought that once I lived a few hundred years and I knew more of the world then this small town, I could go to you. I would show up at your doorstep and stare at those kind eyes and wicked smirk. Where the smell of your cologne would welcome me. Where, I would know I was home.
But that night, I dreamt that you died and I've never been so scared in my life. All the memories and the feelings rushed into me all at once and I couldn't handle the thought that we wouldn't share them anymore.
You can't do that to me, Niklaus Mikaelson. You don't do that to people you care about. I wasn't ready for you before. You were you and I was a child but time and distance have given me great perspective. I'm a little older and a little wiser. I know the beauty of what it's like to be with you. To be touched by you… to be loved by you. Worst of all I now have an idea of what it's like to lose you and I can't do it here in real life. Where it's permanent.
I guess what I've finally realized is this…
I love you, Niklaus Mikaelson.
…And I don't know what to do with that.