Welcome to the Org XIII Skits! It's a compilation of really random scenes from what I think really goes on in their everyday lives. Spwaned from boredom… There's no plot.
WARNING: YAOI. Nothing too heavy though.
I do not own Kingdom Hearts and blah blah blah…
***
Late at night in the Org chair room:
Xemnas: Here is the list of missions for tomorrow. *presents papers to Saix*
Saix: Okay I'll run it by the… ….. ummm Xemnas? What's this here about me going to your room to…
Xemnas: Don't question the plans, it is all in the name of Kingdom Hearts!
Saix: But Xemnas… *turns over page* It's over two pages long?! And you wrote down I have to give you a-
Xemnas: JUSTDOITFORKINGDOMHEARTS!!!
***
In Demyx's room:
Demyx: *playing sitar* Woah! Gotta pee! *Puts down sitar and exits room*
*walks into nearest bathroom*
Axel: AHH!
Demyx: WAAH! …Axel?
Axel: Shh! Close the door idiot!
Demyx: What are you doing on the floor with the lights off? *flicks on light*
Axel: *freezes, caught holding binoculars to the window*
Demyx: *looks through window to see Roxas changing*
Roxas: *lowers head to put on pajama top. Notices Axel and Demyx in the opposite window. Commences screaming.*
Axel: Shit! Look what you've done! *stands up and glares furiously*
Demyx: (in a frightened whisper) I don't have to pee anymore…
***
Grey Area:
Roxas: Hey Axel? What exactly does Demyx do?
Axel: Well that's not very nice! Every member of Organization XIII has a special skill!
Roxas: So what is Demyx's?
Demyx: *snores loudly from couch behind them*
Axel: Lots of stuff! Why just last week…
*flashback*
Somewhere in Agrabah:
Heartless: *charging at Axel and Demyx*
Axel: No you don't! *uses Demyx as human shield, then human bat*
Demyx: *flails*
***
Luxord's room:
Luxord: *sits up in bed, holding his head* Ughhh …. Drank too much last night.
…. Huh? *notices frilly red thong sitting atop bedsheets. Picks up* What have we here?
*Toilet flushes in bathroom*
(excitedly) Did I do something with Larxene last night?!
Xaldin: *poking head out from door* May I have that back? *pointing at thong*
Luxord: *DDD8!!!*
***
Organization meeing in the chair room:
Xemnas: Okay our first order of business… ….. DEMYX! Pay attention!
Demyx: *jolts, pulling finger out of nose*
Xemnas: … As I was saying, our first order of business is of utmost importance.
Vexen: If this is about the chemical spill in the kitchen…
Xemnas: the what? *looks to Saix*
Saix: *shrugs*
Vexen: Nevermind!
Xemnas: …. *glares.* First order of business is to discuss the budget.
Demyx: We have a budget?
Xemnas: And this is exactly WHY we need to discuss the budget. It would seem that most of the money has been used on purchasing hair products.
*Camera pans to Axel and Demyx, then Larxene and Roxas.*
Axel: Might I point out that these supplies are crucial to our performance?
Xemnas: You're all hemorrhaging money!
Demyx: We are not! *chucks unused bottle at passing fly*
Axel: It's well spent!
Xemnas: Name one reason why you need 20 bottles of hairspray a day.
*flashback*
Axel: *waiting behind doors to Grey Area*
Xaldin: *enters*
Axel: *sprays in face. Then drops bottle and runs*
Xaldin: AXEL! *picks up bottle and chases*
Axel: *Lights bottle on fire, causing to explode.*
Xaldin: AUGH!
***
Grey Area:
(Luxord, Xaldin, Xigbar, Lexeaus, and Saix are gathered around a round table, drinking beer, and with Luxord shuffling cards.)
Xemnas: *walks into room and looks around* I don't remember authorizing a poker night.
Luxord: Oh come on, superior! There's nothing wrong with a hand or two. In fact, why not join in the fun?
Xemnas: *glares at Saix*
Saix: They've all completed their missions, so I didn't see any reason to object.
Xemnas: Fine. *sits down*
Luxord: *deals*
Everyone: *falls silent, concentrating.*
(moments later…)
Xaldin: Xigbar, are you in or out?
Xigbar: don't rush me I'm thinking! *looks up at Lexeaus, somewhat intimidated* That's one hell of a poker face you've got.
Lexeaus: *doesn't blink.*
Xigbar: okay I'm in.
Luxord: Let's see what you've got!
Everyone: *throws down cards*
Luxord: Hahaha! Better luck next time. *pulls munny to his side of the table*
Saix: That's the fifth round in a row. Are you cheating??
Luxord: No need when you've got luck on your side. *counts munny* Hold on, someone tried to pay with an IOU!
Everyone: *exchanges accusatory glances until Xigbar is found guilty.*
Xigbar: I'm broke! *with a shrug*
Luxord: Well this won't do! There has to be SOMETHING you can give to compensate.
Saix: *evil grin*
Xigbar: … *blushes, wide eyed* What, again? As if.
Xemnas: A bet is a bet. A man of your status should have no problem paying what he owes. Unless perhaps I've over estimated you?
Xigbar: …. Fine. *strips cloak*
Roxas: *walks in looking innocent and happy* Hey guys what's … *notices Xigbar naked. Turns and exits*
Xigbar: *bright red* …Gimme another beer. *sits down as another hand is dealt*
***
Dining room, fanmail opening session:
Roxas: *taps Axel on shoulder*
Axel: Yes Roxas? *too focused on something off screen to look up.*
Roxas: I was wondering… …. Wait what are you doing?
Axel: *sets Zexion (sitting farther down the table) 's letter stack on fire. Inconspicuously but quickly opens letter up in front of himself* Nothing. What's up?
Zexion: AXEL! *stomps fire out and leaves room after glaring angrily at Axel*
Roxas: …I got this letter that asked something interesting. If Nobodies don't have hearts, why do we seem like we feel?
Axel: Gimme that. *swipes letter in question from Roxas. Skims it over.* Well the answer's pretty simple really. If the writers had made us completely emotionless, you would have been stuck playing a game with hours of:
*example*
(bored looking Axel, Demyx, and Zexion sitting in three chairs in a white room)
…
Zexion: *spontaneously combusts*
Axel: *does nothing*
Demyx: *falls over*
*end example*
Roxas: Oh I get it now!
Demyx: *falls over in back ground*
***
Weight Room:
Xaldin: Demyx? What are you doing here?
Demyx: *sits down backwards on a rowing machine* I'm just here to pump some iron! *begins tugging on random places on the machine.*
Xaldin: … *watches with look of pity/bewilderment*
Demyx: *strains to lift something unliftable. Something cracks. Looks stunned*
Xaldin: Maybe you should just do situps in the corner.
Demyx: Nonsense! Superior told me to hit the weights. Now lets see… *examines stack of weights.*
Xaldin: *watches Demyx begin tugging at dumbbell, lifting with his back* No no no, you'll kill yourself that way.
Demyx: *lifts slightly off ground* RRRAAAA….
Xaldin: Give me that.
Demyx: *drops on Xaldin's foot*
Xaldin: *clenches teeth, excruciating look on his face*
Demyx: Ooh sorry. You okay?
Xaldin: *walks it off* Why don't you just… get on a treadmill, huh?
Demyx: *starts walking on treadmill. Quickly gets bored and starts pushing buttons without knowing what they do*
Xaldin: *looks over from tricep machine just in time to see Demyx jump the speed up to about 20 mph*
Demyx: AAAH!! How do you turn this thing off?!
Xaldin: *runs over* Hit the red button! Move! *reaches out from behind*
Demyx: *trips and flies off backward, plowing into Xaldin*
Xaldin: *smashes into exercise bike behind him, Demyx landing on lap. Glares*
Demyx: I'll just… go over here….
Xaldin: (angrily) Demyx…
Zexion: *(walking by the weight room.) Looks up when he hears loud noises coming from inside*
Xaldin: *Storms out*
Zexion: … *looks inside*
Demyx: *tape holding him to ceiling partially gives out. Unravels and catches him a few feet from the floor. Dangles.* Hi Zexion!
Zexion: …. *walks away pretending to have seen nothing*
***
Some random hallway in the castle:
Xemnas: *walking down the hall*
Xigbar: *coming from other direction*
Xemnas: Number II. Inspection.
Xigbar: What?
Xemnas: Show me your pockets.
Xigbar: … *empties pockets.*
Xemnas: Unzip your jacket.
Xigbar: Huh? Why?
Xemnas: I am your Superior!
Xigbar: ……. *unzips cloak and holds open.*
Xemnas: *stares* … okay carry on. *continues walking*
Xigbar: …. *looks at author* WHAT WAS EVEN THE POINT OF THAT???
***
Agrabah:
(Axel and Roxas paired up on a mission)
Roxas: *killing off the last heartless* Almost there!
Axel: *putting in little effort* Hey Rox. Did you wanna skip the clock tower today?
Roxas: Huh? How come?
Axel: I was thinking we'd do something else for a change.
Roxas: *puts away keyblade* Like what?
Axel: Like… lets hit the beach!
Roxas: Okay!
Axel: Cool. I'll take us there right after this…
Roxas: Oh but wait! I don't have my swim trunks.
Axel: *grinning wolfishly* That wont be a problem.
Roxas: *catches on, blushes angrily*
-two seconds later-
Axel: *lying defeated on floor* Well that went well.
Fatass heartless: *waddles over. Sits on Axel*
Axel: *X___X*
***
Grey Area, filling out mission reports.
(Demyx working next to Xigbar)
Demyx: Hey II?
Xigbar: Yeh.
Demyx: *sniggers* Did you ever notice how your number has two eyes, but you only have one? *breaks out laughing*
Xigbar: ……… *glares* Hey Demyx the superior said for you to work out today didn't he?
Demyx: Oh! Did he? *collects papers and heads off to the gym.*
Xigbar: heheheh. You're welcome, Xaldin.
***
Hello!
If you wish to comment, we just ask that you please don't criticize our writing unless it's constructive. We're open to suggestions… just not so open to insult. ._., Thank you!
This fic by B and R