Ok, this is part 2 of my story "Bruce Wayne Begins". For those of you just coming in on this one, I LOVE Batman Begins and have shamelessly watched it about a thousand times. This is a parody of this film. I felt like starting fresh with a new starting story and this was a good dividing line anyway because the first story dealt with Bruce Wayne actually "beginning". Bruce's flashbacks and travels are over and now it's game time in Gotham City. This one will actually be introducing the Batman... So sit back and enjoy another wild ride with our out spoken billionaire and our lovable yet sarcastic butler in...
Bruce Wayne: Dawn of the Bat
"Are you coming back to Gotham for long, sir…? Sir…?"
"WHOOOOOOOOO! I'M KING OF THE WORLLLLD!" Billionaire Bruce Wayne and his butler Alfred Pennyworth were on a private jet bound for Gotham City. Bruce had been in the mountains for years of intense ninja training, and now that he was finally ready to come back, he was feeling the buzz.
"Master Bruce! Master Bruce!" Alfred opened the top hatch of hull, the wind rushing so fast that it pulled at the old mans wrinkles like he had a face fix, his grey-silver hair whipping straight back. Alfred pulled out the mega phone.
"GET OFF THE BLASTED WING, MASTER BRU…" A sudden gust made it fly into his face, chipping a tooth. The instrument went sailing behind as the poor butler held his mouth, losing his balance, then falling back into the plane. A minute later he came back up again, this time mad as heck.
"YOU GET YOUR BLOODY CARCASS OFF THAT WING RIGHT THIS SECOND!" Bruce had tied a rope about his waist; the other end tied to the plane. He was now leaning backwards with his hands in the air giving peace signs.
"WHAT ALFRED!" Bruce slowly turned his head, he had goggles on so he could easily see the crazy butler waving his arms at him. Bruce smiled a waved back. Alfred waved back too, his face as red as an apple and those weren't peace signs he was shooting his way…
"YOU GOTTA TRY THIS ALFREEEED! WHOOOOOO!"
"MASTER BRUCE!" Alfred found another mega phone, being a little more careful this time. It screeched loudly as he called his name again.
"MASTER BRUUUUCE!"
"'I BELIEEEEVE I CAN FLYYYYY, I'M GONNA GET SHOT BY THE FBIIII'" Bruce was now doing the wave.
"MASTER…BRUCE…!"
"'BLEEP THOSE GUYS JUST GOTTA TO DO MY THING!'"
"MAST…ER…!"
"JUMP OFF OF ROOFTOPS AND SCARE EVERYTHIIIING…!"
SCCCCcccccrrreeeeeccccch! Went the sound of the mega phone.
"WHOO!" Bruce was having a blast.
"ARE YOU QUITE FINISHED, MASTER BRUCE?"
"I AM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW!"
"WE ARE HIGH ENOUGH ALREADY, SIR. NOW, PLEASE…COME…DOWN!"
"DOWN? YOU WANT ME TO JUMP DOWN, ALFRED? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?" Another smile spread across his face.
"NO! NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I…"
"FREE FAAAAAAAAAAALL….!" Bruce unclipped his moorings and went zipping past his butler. Alfred lost his grip and hit himself again.
"# #$!&*$!#$!" Alfred dove back inside, holding his eye and slamming the hatch. His eyes red and hair windblown, the butler yelled up to the front.
"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? SWOOP DOWN AND GET 'IM YOU IDIOT!" The jet did a nose dive. Bruce, though nothing audible could be heard, could see upon his gaping happy face he was thoroughly enjoying himself.
"Blast you…" Alfred pulled out a weapon that almost resembled a bazooka. He attached it in between the sides of the door, he then took aim.
Bruce was laughing into the wind. He knew full jamn well that the main character never died. He was proving that theory now…
"'BABY WHEN I'M WITH YOU I LOSE MY MIIIIND, GIVE ME A SIIIIIGN!'"
Alfred pulled the trigger.
"'HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE…OOPH!'" The net engulfed him like a spider's web as he found himself kicking amongst its strands. Alfred shook his head as he hoisted him up.
"If your parents could see you now…" The plane leveled off as Bruce was almost to safety. Bruce glared up, flipping him off.
"YOU ARE SUCH A KILL JOY!"
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOTHER ENGLAND DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?"
Bruce and Alfred sat quietly in their seats. Alfred sipping a well needed, six shot martini with Bruce sipping nothing, cuffed to the arm rest. Alfred looked over at him. The man, for the first time he's seen him, was deep in thought.
"I want to show the people..." Bruce began.
"What an arse you really are?" Bruce just glanced over with a squint.
"No…That their city doesn't belong to the criminals and the corrupt." Alfred downed his martini and threw it to the side. He leaned forward, pointing out the window.
"What you did out there…" He forcefully tapped at the smooth, doubled glass, "Was completely bananas! Bonkers! I'm not sure you're ready to go back to civilized society quite frankly with a stunt like that!"
"Civilized, Alfred? Gotham is everything but civilized."
"Yes, but they don't go around just jumping off planes like popcorn kernels! Riding a wing of a plane… it's complete madness!"
"Jamn straight I'm mad, Alfred! Mad enough to finally do something about whipping Gotham back shape!"
"In the depression…"
"Ah, here we go…" Bruce slumped in his chair.
"Your father nearly bankrupted Wayne Enterprises combating poverty. He believed his example could inspire the wealthy of Gotham to save their city."
"Well…Did it?"
"In a way."
"Hmph..."
"Their murder shocked the wealthy and the powerful into action
"Well there you go! People need dramatic examples to shake them out of apathy. I can't do that as Bruce Wayne…" Bruce started to lift his arm, but it was caught short. He looked down at his left wrist. He began drumming his fingers.
"Can you take this off now?"
"No."
"No, what...?"
"Just no, I don't feel like it right now."
"I meant, after you said 'no', you were supposed to say "Master Bruce". Alfred sat up straight.
"I believe I can choose to say whatever I want to. I ain't your freakin' genie…Bruce…"
"Stop that." Bruce squirmed.
"Bruceyyy…"
"CALL ME MASTER!"
"I think I won't do that for the rest of the trip…Bruce…"
"I AM YOUR MASTER! CALL ME BY MY RIGHTFUL NAME!"
"…Bruce…"
"Grrrrrr…" Alfred took another sip.
"Anyways, continue what you were saying Ma...Ma…" Alfred bit his lip.
"Ha! You can't help but say it! You can't deny your natural allegiance to me!"
"Slip of the tongue."
"WHAT'S MY NAME?"
"…Bruce…"
"Jamn you, butler…"
"As you were saying, M.B.?"
"Hey, now I like that one. You can call me that anytime you want."
"Whatever you say, sir."
"At least you call me 'sir'."
"'Miss.'"
"Get me out of these cuffs."
"No..." Silence.
"You were going to say…?"
"As a man,Alfred, as a man..." Bruce warmed up, "I'm flesh and blood; I can be ignored, destroyed."
"Yes, definitely destroyed. Like shredded toilet paper…" He went ahead and poured himself another martini.
"But as a symbol", Bruce raised his eyebrows, "As a symbol, I can be incorruptible."
"You can be everlasting…"
"I can be everlasting… hey!" Alfred casually crossed his legs, enjoying his beverage.
"What symbol?" He spoke coolly.
"Something elemental… Something terrifying..." Bruce's got a bit raspier as his voice trailed off, Alfred nodding his head slightly.
"I assume that as you take on the underworld, this symbol is a persona to protect those you care about from reprisals?" Bruce's eyes flicked up.
"You're thinking about Rachel?"
"Actually, sir", Alfred chuckled, "I was thinking of myself."
"Jeez", Bruce snorted, "You are a selfish b*stard, you know that old friend?"
"Just speaking my mind, sir."
"Yeah, well, maybe it can be seen and not heard at times…" Alfred was looking at his glass, swishing it around. Bruce began to rub his chin.
"Have you told anyone I'm coming back?" Alfred downed the drink and again threw it off to the side.
"I couldn't figure", He burped, "The legal ramifications of bringing you back from the dead." Bruce's eyes went wide.
"Dead? What the heck, Alfred!"
"You've been gone seven years."
"Yeah, I decided to ditch this mud hole and carve my way through life and 'find myself', but you had me declared dead?"
"Actually, it was Mr. Earle. He's taking the company public."
"Aah, gooood ol' uncle Earle…" Bruce slumped back, rubbing his face.
"He wanted to liquidate your majority shareholding."
"As we already know… I like to see him try to do that again."
"Mhmm, those shares are worth quite a bit of money."
"Don't need to tell me that… Jeez, dead? Really?"
"Get over yourself, Master Bruce. Take it like a man." Bruce sat up and snapped his fingers.
"You said it! You said 'master'!"
"Get real, Bruce…" Bruce sighed like a depressed teenager, slumping further into his seat. After a while his glance over and smirked.
"Well, it's a good thing I left everything to you, then."
"Quite so, sir."
"MHmph, right." Bruce nodded his head, again rubbing face thoroughly.
"That son of a…" He grumbled his words in frustration.
"And you can borrow the Rolls, if you like. Just bring it back with a full tank." Alfred stated, leaning back, Bruce just nodded his head.
"Wait a sec… do you mean cinnamon rolls? ...Huh?" Alfred went for another martini.
Hope you like the starting chapter! This is real time so... New chapters will come and will try to be posted at a reasonable time. Any comments are welcome! :) Next chapter will be introducing are ever so intriguing... ok just plain weird... Dr. Jonathan Crane. Stay tuned!