Tonks shivered on the doorstep in the cold winter air. It was a fairly sunny day, but it was weak sun, premature for early September, which did nothing to increase the temperature. Waiting nervously, she rang the doorbell. Then she heard footsteps and the familiar door opened welcomingly.
"Hi, Mum," said Tonks, smiling but not with her eyes.
"Dora!" Andromeda exclaimed, taking in Tonks's dishevelled appearance, dark circles under her eyes and mousy brown hair. "What a lovely surprise! What brings you here? Where's Remus?"
"On business for the Order," Tonks explained. "I hope this is a good time. I wanted to talk to you."
Tonks could tell that her mother was suspicious. She had been rehearsing this moment in the mirror for weeks, so she was very careful in her wording. Talk to you, not just see you. She could almost see the cogs moving in Andromeda's brain, wondering what Tonks needed to say that she couldn't say in front of Remus.
Andromeda decided not to comment. "Of course, darling. Come in, come in, why are we standing in the doorway?"
Tonks smiled in relief, visibly relaxing as her hair turned a slightly more attractive shade of brown. She stepped into the house and embraced her mother.
"Oh, Dora, I've missed you," Andromeda sighed, closing the door behind them. "It's been far too long," she added, hanging up Tonks's coat and scarf.
"I know," said Tonks apologetically, as she led the way towards the living room of her childhood home. "It's just that I've been so busy with work, and Order stuff, and I'm just so ti-ti-tired," she yawned.
"It's not a criticism," Andromeda reassured her. "I mean, on top of that it must be nice to spend some time relaxing at home, and to actually see your husband."
Tonks detected the wistful tone in Andromeda's voice as they settled onto the sofa. "Have you heard from Dad?"
"Last time I heard from him was a month ago, obviously he can't risk contacting us in case the Snatchers get wind of it," she answered sadly.
"He'll be fine, Mum, he always is," said Tonks optimistically, patting her mother's arm. Tonks didn't know what to feel about her father's absence - obviously she was worried, she had always been close to her parents and didn't know how she could ever live without them. She suddenly felt horribly selfish and ridden with guilt - she had hardly thought about him since hearing the news of his flight, although, to be fair, there were other things on her mind that had been demanding all her attention.
"Yeah... well, I just hope he is this time," Andromeda said quietly. "Anyway," she said briskly, keen to change the subject, "do you want tea or coffee?"
"A cup of tea would be lovely," said Tonks, nodding eagerly.
Andromeda laughed. "That's the most animated I've seen you today. No," she said, before Tonks could speak, "tell me when I've got your tea. I know you, Nymphadora -" Tonks made a face at the use of her full name "- and there's something wrong. But I also know that tea and sympathy make everything better."
"Thanks, Mum," said Tonks beaming. She had always had a good relationship with her mother, who knew her best in the world, and now didn't regret her decision to go to her first.
Andromeda went through to the kitchen and began bustling to make the tea, while Tonks absent-mindedly took in her surroundings. There were two squashy sofas around the fire and the TV (Ted stayed true to his Muggle background when it suited him). The room was bursting full of pictures - a seven-year-old Tonks learning to ride a bicycle, a three-year-old Tonks giggling at something unknown, an eleven-year-old Tonks posing in her Hogwarts robes with her wand after her first trip to Diagon Alley, an eighteen-year-old Tonks having just graduated from Hogwarts, and since the last time Tonks had visited there was an addition of a beaming Remus with his arm around a twenty-four-year-old Tonks on their wedding day.
One thing all the pictures had in common was the various bright colours of hair and grins on her face. Tonks knew exactly why she had neither of those at that moment - her stomach kept squirming at the thought of what she would have to tell her mother.
Andromeda returned, two steaming hot cups of tea in her hand. "There you go, darling."
"Mmm, thanks," said Tonks, taking hers appreciatively and curling her legs up onto the sofa.
"You always used to do that when you were a child," Andromeda reminisced lovingly.
"Mum! Don't make me feel old!" she moaned, abruptly snatching her legs down again.
"You don't need to worry about being old," she laughed. "You've got your whole life ahead of you!"
"Mmm," said Tonks, not knowing how to respond - the disaster at Bill and Fleur's wedding the other day had even further increased her impression that that was a very uncertain thing in these times.
"Oh, Dora," said Andromeda sadly, longing for the cheeky, cheerful child she had once taken for granted. "Tell me what's wrong."
Tonks took a deep breath. This was the moment. "Well, it's just... I'm pregnant."
Andromeda first looked astonished, and then delighted. "Oh, darling, that's wonderful news!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around her daughter. "Fancy you telling me off for making you feel old! Wow, a baby. What did Remus say?"
Tonks hesitated. "Uhh..."
"Ah. You haven't told him," said Andromeda knowingly.
"I didn't know how."
"Well, I'm sure he'll be thrilled. I was nervous before telling your dad that you were coming along, but I've never seen him so happy in his life!" said Andromeda, with the same wistful tone in her voice.
"Yes, but this wasn't exactly... planned," admitted Tonks.
"Ah," said Andromeda again. "I see your problem, then. Well, he shouldn't really be surprised. It does tend to happen if you're married."
"Yes, but that doesn't mean it won't come as a shock. It is very soon," said Tonks worriedly.
"It is," Andromeda agreed. They had only been married for about three months.
"I'm just so worried about how he'll react," Tonks confessed, and suddenly all her worries came spilling out. "You know why he didn't want to marry me to start with? He didn't want to put me in danger. Now what will he think about endangering our child? I mean, I know it's complete and utter rubbish, he's perfectly safe when he takes his potion, but he can't convince himself of that!"
"Have you talked to him about having children?"
"No, I hadn't even thought about it, not really. I mean, I was expecting us to have years to think about it. But he's always been kind of frosty if I've mentioned it in passing. I don't know what his problem is," said Tonks fretfully.
"Well," Andromeda began, "it's like you said, your Remus is a Gryffindor, and he has to be all noble all the time. He doesn't want to put anyone in danger, because he would never be able to live with himself in the very, very unlikely event that anything would happen to you, or in this case the baby. But he was able to put all that to one side and married you, because he loves you so, so much. And obviously you know him better than me, but I know he'll love your baby too. If I can promise you anything, I can promise you that."
"I know," Tonks sighed. "I know he loves me, and I know he'll love the baby too. But whenever I look into his eyes it seems like something's wrong. I think he just wants to wrap me up in cotton wool and keep me safe from not only him, but the war too. If he finds out I'm pregnant, he'll be even worse! I know he'll try and make me stop working for the Order. But I can't! I'm pregnant, not ill! I'm tougher than he thinks, you know. I'm an Auror, for Merlin's sake! I want to fight!"
"I know you do, dear," said Andromeda with a chuckle. "But, of course, don't work yourself too hard," she added.
"Mum!"
"Okay, okay," said Andromeda hastily, "I know you can look after yourself, but I'm your mum, it's my job to worry."
"Well, I'm fine," Tonks said exasperatedly. "Or at least I will be, once I figure out what to do."
"Just tell him," said Andromeda simply. "It's a baby, ignoring it won't just make it disappear. And it's his baby too, he deserves to know."
"I know," sighed Tonks. "I'm just so scared, Mum."
"That's perfectly normal," said Andromeda reassuringly. "Having a baby is a scary thing."
"But I'm not only scared about that. I'm terrified of being left to do this on my own. Oh, why wasn't I more careful?" Tonks wailed.
"Hey, hey, it's okay!" said Andromeda, taking her daughter into her arms and rocking her as she sobbed onto her shoulder. "You can't change the past, so there's no point getting worked up over it. And there is NO WAY that you will ever have to do this on your own. I'll always be here for you, Dora."
"Thanks, Mum." Tonks sat up, giving her mother a watery smile, and wiped her eyes on the ends of her sleeves. "Sorry, I'm just being silly."
"Don't apologise," said Andromeda, passing Tonks a box of tissues, and Tonks gratefully took one and blew her nose loudly. "There's no shame in being scared. Am I the first person you've told?"
Tonks nodded.
"Oh, darling. So you've had to deal with this all by yourself? No wonder you're looking so peaky. You've been worrying yourself sick! How long have you known?" Andromeda asked fretfully.
"Well, obviously I've suspected for a while, but I found out for sure a few weeks ago."
"And how many weeks pregnant are you?" asked Andromeda.
"About ten." Tonks finished wiping her eyes, and Andromeda put her arm around her.
"That's it. Can you manage a smile? Oh, I feel like you're five again," Andromeda sighed, as Tonks giggled weakly. "Where did the time go?"
"I don't know," said Tonks, feeling lost. "I just don't know."
"Come on, Dora!" said her mother. "Where's that sparky girl I know, who can find the bright side in everything? This -" she gestured at Tonks's stomach "-isn't just an inconvenience. It's your baby. Yours and Remus's. You're going to be a mum! How amazing is that?"
Tonks couldn't help but smile. "I know. But it doesn't feel like a person, not yet. I wonder if it's a boy or a girl? If I buy it some booties, will it seem more real? I would say knit, but I don't think I'd be very good at that."
Andromeda chuckled. "No, I don't think you would. But seriously, Dora, it's a massive thing to get your head around, and telling me is the first step. Now you just need to tell Remus."
Tonks sighed again. "I know. Thanks for the advice, I wouldn't be able to do it without you."
Andromeda laughed. "Of course you would! But I know having someone just to talk things through with can be very reassuring, and I'm always here to do that for you. Come and see me whenever you need."
"Thanks," said Tonks, and she meant it. "I love you, Mum."
"I love you too, darling," said Andromeda, giving Tonks another big hug. "And so does Remus. Trust him." She glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece. "When is he getting back?"
Tonks glanced up at it too. "Not long now, I'd better get home and put some dinner on actually." Tonks did not miss her mother's smirk. "What?" she asked defensively.
"Dinner? You?" asked Andromeda incredulously. The Tonks household had been at risk many a time from Dora's so called "cooking experiments" as a child. Andromeda didn't think she had gone near a kitchen since the accident with the boiling water when she was ten.
"What?"
"Who in their right mind would let you cook dinner for them?" Andromeda demanded.
"Well, Remus does it normally, if he's home," Tonks admitted, "but I said I'd do it as he's back late."
"Well, as long as you don't poison him," Andromeda teased.
"My cooking's not that bad!" said Tonks defensively. "Okay, maybe it is," she conceded, after her mother snorted. "But I've never poisoned anyone!"
"If you say so," said Andromeda, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, I seem to recall general safety being more of a problem."
"Mum! I'm about to become a parent, and you think this is reassuring? Well, I'll just have to go and prove you wrong, won't I?" said Tonks, getting up and striding towards the fireplace.
"Bye, darling!" Andromeda called. "Make sure you tell him tonight. Leaving it any longer won't do either of you any good."
"I'll try," said Tonks uncertainly.
"Believe me," said her mother. "Speak to me again in the morning to stop me worrying about you."
"You don't need to -" Tonks began, but her mother cut across her.
"I know I don't need to worry about you," said Andromeda, smiling, and suddenly looking old and tired. "But like I said, I'm your mum, it's my job."
"Okay, bye! Love you!" Tonks called, taking a pinch of floo powder, and as she dropped it and stepped into the flames, calling out her address, the same nerves she had on her mother's doorstep returned, but doubly concentrated.
A/N: Well here's the first chapter, drop me a review and tell me what you think! I will love you forever, I promise. I've written nearly all of this, so updates should be quick, hooray! Thanks to lowi for the awesome challenge :D Oh and btw, relevance to the title comes later on, haha.