Fragile Hearts
Lag Seeing couldn't sleep. In his mind, he could still see the marauder's expressionless face as he told Noir – not Gauche – his true heart. It seemed to Lag that Noir didn't blink when as the twelve year old boy started crying, and saying that he knew the truth. Lag had seen Noir's heart. The person who had received his heart bullet was not the kind and determined tegami bachi that had delivered Lag safely from his destroyed home. The hero that Lag worshiped was no longer there. In his stead, the tall and dark marauder of Reverse had remained, deceiving Lag, Sylvette…everyone. Everything he told them was a lie, a façade. "The kid I knew…grew up into a fine Bee." Lag continued to struggle to sleep in his bed. Even though Sylvette's brother – no. Lag had to stop those thoughts, otherwise he would start crying again. He had to stay strong for her, for she would not be strong herself when Lag told her the truth. The boy had been close to shedding tears when he saw his female friend, her sleep untroubled for the first time in probably five years. But Lag had held his tears in, an unknown strength emerging from him. Why? Noir hadn't responded when Lag had asked him why he had saved him when the gaichuu attacked. The marauder could have easily watched Lag lose his heart, one of the obstacles of achieving his goals – Reverse's goals. Then he had walked away, and Lag didn't stop him. "This isn't about Gauche anymore! It's about you, Noir! I'm going to annihilate you!" Lag had been certain that his heart bullet had reached Gauche…and yet…and yet…Lag had lost.
During his delivery, Gauche had said that if he had lost his heart, the person who he had been would be lost forever. "However…if I fire all my heart out in a shindan…my body would remain…but the person known as Gauche Suede…would probably disappear forever." Lag remembered a conversation he had with Jiggy Pepper in the past. The older tegami bachi had told him that he had to harden his heart. "As a Bee, you must make your heart strong enough…that the will of the letter – good or bad – won't overwhelm you?" Was that what happened to Gauche? Did Lag's former friend not harden his heart against the brutalities of Akatsuki? "Inside the capital… there are things you cannot see from here…this is a warning, Lag. If you get too close…to the light…the shadows turn pitch-black. That's what happens…when you aim to become the Head Bee." Aria-san had said that too. What happened at the capital? Lag remembered the time when he had asked Niche what she would do if he had lost his heart. She would stay by his side, and never forget him, she said. Maybe Lag would never know what Niche would do. Maybe Lag would never know what caused Gauche to lose the only heart he had left. Maybe Lag would lose the only chance of finding his mother, who was kidnapped when Lag was seven years old. The tears didn't come. That surprised the young tegami bachi. Perhaps, his heart was becoming stronger. Sylvette said that the heart is a fragile thing…so even though I strengthen my heart, I would still lose it if it broke enough. I wonder…what caused Gauche to lose his heart, to forget his beloved little sister, and become Noir, the destroyer of all things? And..what would cause my heart to be lost…?