Story: Starscream's Special Announcement
Summary: Starscream decides to pull a prank with the microphone that connects to EVERY speaker around the entire Nemesis! He sings twinkle twinkle little star, alerts everyone about Megatron's HERPES ALERT, and spray paints a dick on Megatron's door. Theres a whole lot more that our favorite little seeker does! Read to find our more! ;)
Warnings: This story contains a few dirty jokes, that may make you feel unpleasant, and uncomfortable. You've been warned.
A/N: It's my early April Fools Day fanfic to you! It's a short little one-shot about Screamer screwing around with the microphone ... ya know, the one that connects to EVERY speaker on the Nemesis? THAT ONE!:D He warns all the decepticons about Megatron's apparent herpes alert, spray paints a dickhead on Megatron's door with a little saying, and makes fun of the autobots in rhymes. Not a chapter story. Enjoy! Reviews are always nice btw.
~Starscream's Biglover
Sitting in the Command room, a lone mech sat at his desk, growing frustrated with his work. Starscream growled to himself. "Curse this work! It is not fair that everyone else gets to go on an ice cream brake and I don't," he yelled to himself. "Megatron is just doing this to punish me!" Starscream looked up from his work, pulling out a picture of Megatron, that had many holes in it from the many darts that Starscream used to throw at it. "Frag Megatron, AND his ice cream brakes! He never lets ME off of work! It's not fair! Why..." but Starscream stopped as an idea negan growing into his helm. "Hmm... yes, public humiliation. Just the answer I need to get back at Megatron!" Starscream said, laughing to himself.
Walking down the hall, Starscream stopped into his room only to retrieve a red can of spray paint. He then proceeded to Megatron's door, and sprayed stick figure of his master, but with a big spike on the head, and had a caption that read, "Here lives the everlasting, know-it-all warlord, MegaDICK!" Laughing evilly to himself, he then walked over to the security room, where two, lone vehicons sat staring at the cameras; they turned their helms to the sound of the door opening automatically, and gasped to see their Air Commander striding over towards them. Leaning back in his chair, one of the vehicons spoke up, "C-Commander. What a... pleasant surprise to see you!"
"Oh, shut it, S.T.3.v.3.! Or Steve, as all of your friends now call you. "
"What brings you here?" the other asked.
"Megatron has decided to punish me with operating the security cameras. So, if you would kindly remove yourself of your duties, and get the frag out of my chair, so that I can leave sooner, that would be fan-fragging-tastic!" Starscream said, throwing one of the vehicons off the chair, and sitting down in them.
"But Commander Starscream, what other work do we have?" Steve asked.
"I don't know! go and clean something of mine Wash the walls I don't care what you do as long as you get the frag out of hear before I rip out your sparks out!" Starscream hollered. Quickly hurring out the door, Steve and his other friend (D.3.R.K. or Derek) left without another word. Starscream quickly looked around, before locking the doors, and turned his attention to the microphone that connected to every speaker through the Nemesis, which was only used or emergencies. Grabbing, he held it in his claw, clicking on the camera Rec. Hall, to see Megatron, Knock Out and the others drinking high grade, and eating energon goodies. "Hmmf! Never gives ME any energon candy!" Starscream growled. Kicking his feet onto the desk, and leaning back in the chair, he pressed the button on the microphone, and began speaking. "Attention all Deceptions! Attention ALL DECEPTICONS! There has been a massive disease spreading through out the Nemesis! I have had my sources link into the source of what has been causing it, and found that it has been coming from none other than Lord MEGATRON himself" Starscream hollered, listening to his deep, scratchy voice booming throughout the halls of the ship on the security cameras.
"That's right! You heard me correctly, it appears that Lord Megatron has... Herpes! A disease that I wasn't aware Lord Megatron even HAD! It's HERPES AWARENESS WEEK! Everyone should apologize to Lord Megatron if you see him in the hallways- much be very embarrassing! How does this make him feel? I guess we'll never know! Speaking of Megatron, it appears that the humans have even made a song about him! Listen to this:
*Here comes Megatron,
Here Comes Megatron!
Get the FRAG outta his way!
He looks really pissed off,
Because Prime fucked him all day!
Megatron is looking to find someone to spread his herpes!
So take your pills, and don't be killed,
because Mr. Herpes is by you lurking!*
"Isn't it amazing what those little fleshing creatures can make up? Oh, speaking of which, that reminds me, do NOT make out with Megatron, if you value your mouth!" Starscream said, watching various vehicons laughing, and others just looking to awkward. He could also see Megatron walking over to the security room. "Also, attention all vehicons and Iocon shoppers; we have a very special treat for you today- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA," Starscream laughed, scratchy voice echoing throughout the halls of the Nemesis. "You know, I two have made up my own songs. This one stares Arcee, the autobots whore.
*Twinkle Twinkle little slut,
Name a guy you haven't fucked!
Is he skinny is he tall?
Nevermind you fucked them all!
Twinkle twinkle little bitch,
Close your legs,
They smell like fish!*
Starscream looked over more security cameras, and saw more vehicons laughing! Especially Knock Out! The medic seemed to have fallen over. "This one is about Optimus!
*Jack and Jill went up the hill,
so Jack could lick her candy;
but Jack got a shock,
and a mouth full of cock,
cause Jill's real name is RANDY!*
Starscream could now see even more Decepticons laughing even harder. Even Megatron was having a hard time not smirking. "Well, let's not forget the bulky, fat ass, everyone knows and hates, Bulkhead. I have one for him to:
*Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore,
Humpty Dumpty fucked her some more;
all the kings horses,
'n
all the kings men,
Bent the bitch over and fucked her again!*
Starscream could hear loud bangings on the door, knowing it could only be Megatron. "Well, my dear, fellow Decepticons, it looks like we have time for one more. In this one, it's all about Arachnid:
*HICKERY DICKERY DOC,
THIS BITCH WAS SUCKIN MY COCK;
THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO,
I DUMPED MY GOO,
AND DUMPED HER AT THE END OF THE BLOCK!*
Now, the seeker could see many cons falling over, and could hear many laughs. But, the pounding kept continuing on. Starscream could hear a loud bang, knowing Megatron had shot open the door. "Well, looks like Megatron has just arrived! Remember to stay clear from him, because of his alleged HERPES! Hemm... hmmm... hehehe, hahahahaHAHAHAHAHA!" Starscream laughed, and was quickly swept off his feet. "Starscream... before I pound you into the ground... tell me one more time how Optimus' song went?" Megatron asked...
A/N: So, that basically sums up the chapter! ;) Please review, and let me know what you thought! Yes, I know it was a little inapprotriate, but what the hell, RIGHT? I live in a FREE country! :D So, as every author on FanFiction says, PLEAS review, and favorite, and follow! Thank you all!
And just because I'm extremely childish...
*In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue;
hit a rock, split his cock,
and pissed all over the ocean blue!*
*Mirror mirror on the wall,
fuck your lies, fuck them all!
I don't care what you say,
I'm the shit all day, every day!*
*The dirty looks, the jealous stares.
The best part is, you think I CARE.
Roll your eyes & talk your shit.
Jealous bitches make me sick.*
*Jingle bells seniors smell,
juniors all the way...
sophmores suck cause they're all sluts and
freshys have no say... HEY!*
;)