Butterflies. You always hear people say 'I have butterflies in my stomach' to describe that fluttery feeling, but to Stan they felt more like swarming honeybees. Maybe even yellowjackets. He was laying in his bed next to his best friend and most trusted confidant, Kyle, sharing a pair of earbuds to listen to some new trashy band. This kind of music started sounding like shit to the noirette back when he turned ten and started struggling with depression, but he wanted to pretend he still liked it for both of their sakes. He turned his head onto its side to face Kyle, feeling those 'butterflies' begin to act up again when the curly-haired boy met his gaze with his large, emerald eyes.
Stan cursed to himself in his head. He cursed Craig and Tweek, his dad and all those Asian girls. Things were just fine between him and his super best friend until his classmates started dating. He'd thought for sure they were just victims of 'fanart', but it turns out they were dating... It has Stan questioning everything. He knew he liked girls, he was attracted to Wendy when they were together- and though they never went farther than kissing, his internet search history provided further proof. Now, however, being around Kyle had started giving him those same fluttering feelings... it drove him mad. He wanted things to feel like they did before.
The blue-eyed boy hadn't realized how long he'd been staring into Kyle's eyes until the redhead pulled his earbud out. Stan didn't hesitate in copying the action, afraid he'd been found out.
"Dude, are you okay? Your face's all red... Are you running a fever?" Despite his temper with others (and, occasionally, Stan), Kyle was generally a caring guy, so it didn't surprise the taller boy that his first instinct was to worry about them. More butterflies caused Stan to sit up.
"Y-yeah, I dunno dude, I guess I'm feeling a little out of it today." The redhead sat up as well and, without warning, brought his pale hand to Stan's forehead. The noirette's stomach leaped and, knowing this feeling well, he quickly grabbed the trash can by his bed and emptied his stomach into it. Kyle watched with wide eyes as the muscular boy set the trash can back down in a shaky manner, avoiding eye-contact.
"Dude, sick, what happened?" The redhead was clearly a little disgusted, but he'd never be an asshole like their other friends. Stan idly covered up his mouth, scrambling off the bed.
"S-sorry, I... I'll be right back, dude..." He quickly made his exit to the bathroom, partially to wash his mouth out and partially to just take a moment to figure out what happened. It was just like when he was with Wendy... he'd get nervous before they were properly 'together' and projectile vomit every time their eyes met. This 'Tweek and Craig' thing was definitely getting to him. The noirette washed his mouth out with water in the sink for a moment before deciding on brushing his teeth. The brush was still sticking out of his mouth when Kyle slowly peered into the bathroom.
"You okay, dude...?" Stan simply nodded, still denying him any form of eye-contact. He quickly spit the remaining toothpaste out of his mouth.
"Yeah... Just sorta sick." Kyle placed his hand on his friend's shoulder in what was meant to be a supportive way, but this garnered a dry-heave from Stan.
"... Dude, seriously, what's up?" His voice was getting more serious. The noirette just happened to be best friends with the smartest guy in their grade, so it didn't take much time for him to start to figure out Stan's secret... His face started turning red with humiliation as he looked into those familiar emerald pools. After what felt like ages, Stan finally spoke up.
"... Don't get mad." Kyle contemplated this.
"Okay." The older boy paused before leading his friend back to his room, closing the door and sitting on the bed. The bathroom was not the place to have this conversation. It took Stan a moment to think of a proper way to begin his confession.
"... You know how I used to feel sick when I hung out with Wendy when we were kids?" He snuck a peek up to Kyle's face, and felt the butterflies return when he notices the soft expression on his face. With the redhead's temper, he'd assumed he'd be mad about the implications of this moment; instead, his lips were parted gently, a pink veil shrouding his cheeks. Before Stan could finish, his best friend took over.
"... Is that what happened?" Stan directed his attention to his lap, fidgeting in a manner similar to Butters out of sheer nervousness before nodding. The football player thought his heart was going to stop as he waited for his friend's response. Much to his relief, Kyle still didn't seem upset- rather, he suddenly wanted more information. "How long's this been going on? Stan thought on this.
"I guess since Tweek and Craig got outed by those Asian girls?" The noirette could feel the bed shift and soon Kyle was sitting much closer to him. the butterflies started swarming yet again as the boy wrapped his arm around Stan's shoulders, but thankfully not to the point of nausea.
"... You could've told me, dude." He was remarkably calm, considering the circumstances. Though he was still mortified, this made the older boy smile somewhat.
"Aren't you, like... weirded out by this?" He turned his gaze back to Kyle's gentle, freckle-dusted face. He paused, choosing his words carefully.
"It's not that I'm weirded out, just... surprised." He gave a small smile, not releasing his grip on his friend.
"Oh." Both sat in silence for a minute, trying their best to gather their thoughts properly. They were friends for nearly their entire lives, and now this... How were they going to fix this? Kyle let out a small sigh, letting his head lean against Stan's shoulder.
"Y'know, I honestly stopped trying to find someone years ago." The taller boy peered down to Kyle again, his face bright red. "The people I'd date... I never saw a future with any of them, so I just gave up. You were kinda the only person who mattered to me, so I told myself that as long as you didn't forget about me when you ended up in a serious relationship, I'd be fine." He paused to tuck some of his curly, red hair behind his ear, something he often did when his nerves started getting the best of him. "I guess what I mean is... I'd never pictured myself being the one you were in a relationship with, but the idea that it could happen doesn't freak me out." Stan immediately felt like he was going to pass out. Did Kyle just say what he thought he said? His eyes darted up to meet his friend's again; this time Kyle was the one who looked completely chagrined.
"Do... Do you really mean that, Kyle?" The noirette was in a state of awe.
"I don't joke about important stuff, dude." He said this in a very matter-of-fact sort of way despite the sheepish expression on his face. He averted his gaze to think for a moment before looking back. "... Close your eyes for a second, dude."
"Wait, what?" Another red tinge made its way to Stan's face. Kyle looked almost strict.
"C'mon dude, I wanna test something... Don't you trust me?" The noirette was surprised by his friend's sudden commands, but ultimately decided to do as he said. Not long after he fluttered his eyelids closed, he felt something touch his lips- and unceremoniously smoosh his nose. Darting his eyes open, his suspicions were confirmed: Kyle was kissing him, or at least attempting to. Stan's first reaction was to pull away, mostly from the pain his nose received, and he watched as Kyle jerked his eyes open. His face was a deep shade of red, immediately assuming he was rejected. "S-sorry dude, I didn't mean-"
"Dude, relax, it's okay," Stan quickly cut him off, rubbing his nose a little. He shot him a small, understanding smile before continuing. "... You close your eyes this time." He watched as the redhead's eyes widened again, but he sheepishly obliged. Stan gently leaned forward, looking Kyle's face over in the process. He didn't have freckles very prominently until he got older, but they somehow added to his innocent charm. His nose was somewhat beaked like his dad's, but not nearly as prominent and it didn't subtract from his looks whatsoever... Overall, he was an attractive guy in Stan's eyes, no matter what the girls at school thought.
Stan knew he was stalling somewhat, but he couldn't help but be intimidated by the concept of kissing his best friend; however, if Kyle could do it, however badly, so could he. Having a little more experience than his friend, the noirette was able to make lip contact without breaking either of their noses. He felt Kyle's soft lips quiver against his own for a moment, but they were quickly able to get into the kiss and let it deepen. Stan's heart began to beat quickly as he broke the kiss, staring directly into Kyle's eyes. The smaller boy's lips were still parted, pale cheeks dyed red.
"... Wow..." The green-eyed boy practically took the word from Stan's mouth. They continued to stare at each other for what felt like an eternity in silence before a somewhat small, soft hand made its way into the taller boy's rough, calloused one. There was no need for words at that moment.