Seventh Year
Lily sat in the library, absentmindedly drawing on a spare bit of parchment. It was late; almost nine o'clock and most students were in their common rooms. Lily didn't feel like company. She just wanted to sit and be.
Lily drew a circle, round and round. It reminded her of a snail shell so she drew a head coming out of it and, after a moment's hesitation, drew on a big smiley face because that's how she felt at the moment. As rain began to patter the windows the ill-tempered looking librarian came up and pointedly reminded Lily it was closing time.
Lily hurriedly shoved her things back in her bag and made her way into the corridor. She walked slowly, it was a few minutes after nine now, but being Head Girl she wasn't worried. All too soon she reached the seventh floor corridor. Lily stood for a few moments outside the portrait hole, while the Fat Lady waited impatiently for the password. Lily didn't want to enter. She was sure the crowd and noise would distract her and she didn't want to lose the happy feeling inside her, as strange as it was. She wanted to keep it for just a bit longer.
Entering the common room she was glad to find it half empty and unusually quiet. She walked over to her friends, not taking a seat but telling them she was going to go to bed.
"Are you okay? You've been gone all evening," asked Martha, staring concernedly up into Lily's face.
"Yeah fine," said Lily, waving a hand dismissively, "I just had some things to do. I'll talk to you in the morning. Oh, and next Hogsmede weekend is in two weeks." She left her friends sitting there and crossed the room. Halfway, she saw a dark haired boy look up from his work. Making eye contact he grinned and Lily gave him a small wave. The happy feeling inside her intensified as she walked up the stairs.
Second Year
James Potter was slicing up caterpillars, ready for his Shrinking Solution. Next to him, Sirius flicked a bit of caterpillar at Peter, causing him to retaliate by flicking a bit back which missed and hit Remus instead. Before Remus could do anything else Sirius pointed at the table behind, an amused look on his face. A group of Gryffindor girls were gingerly picking up the caterpillars, scrunching up their faces in disgust as they cut their caterpillars into slices.
Professor Slughorn went bustling up to the girls' table. "Come on now, girls, it's just a bit of caterpillar," he chided them.
"But Sir," said the one with the red hair, Lily, "can't we use gloves? We've got to eat lunch after this. I don't want to eat caterpillars." At this, the four other girls at the table all gave pronounced shudders and the girl actually holding a caterpillar dropped it at once. James turned back to his friends, rolling his eyes. Girls are so stupid.
An evil grin spread across Sirius's face, and he flicked a piece of caterpillar across the room, where it landed on one girl's cheek. All four girls shrieked while the poor girl frantically rubbed her cheek as the boys fell about laughing. Over all the noise Professor Slughorn's voice could be heard, "Detention Black! Tonight, 7 o'clock."
Third Year
James and Remus burst through the portrait hole, howling with laughter. Spotting Sirius and Peter lounging by the fire, they made their way over, hardly able to walk upright.
"We just – we just – we saw – kissing..." James could hardly talk from laughing so Remus took over, the other two looking excited and expectant.
"We saw Wentworth, you know, that seventh year. He was with that curly haired girl; the one Sirius threw a water balloon at. They were kissing. You should have seen it; it was so gross - like they were trying to eat each other face. They thought they were behind a tapestry. Anyway, James hexed Wentworth. Full body-bind curse, and – and – and –" this time Remus was taken over by a fit of laughing.
"She didn't even know!" James howled. "She just kept on kissing him!" All four boys fell about laughing.
A group of girls glanced disdainfully over at them. "Boys are so immature," Lily told her friends, and they all nodded their agreement.
Fourth Year
James Potter stood looking at the scarlet steam engine, excited to begin his fourth year at Hogwarts. Someone thumped him hard on the shoulder and turning he found himself face-to-face with his best friend Sirius, who was grinning broadly.
"Come on, let's go find Remus and Peter," Sirius said, nodding over his shoulder towards his parents who were saying goodbye to Regulus. James nodded, knowing Sirius wanted to get away from his family.
"Have a good summer?" James asked him but all Sirius did was grunt and shrug. They walked further along the platform and finally found Peter, who was being fussed over by his mother, and Remus, who looked exceptionally tired for someone who had just had 2 months holiday.
After greeting one another, Sirius jumped up on the train, dragging his trunk with him. "All the compartments will be taken," he warned the others. James followed his, smirking at Peter over his shoulder as his mother took a handkerchief from her bag and began rubbing his cheek with it, removing a speck of dirt. After a moment's hesitation Remus joined them.
"Your parents are out there," Remus told Sirius, nodding at the window, "aren't you going to say goodbye?" Sirius gave a bark of a laugh and kept walking.
James peered into every compartment as he followed Sirius down the train but they were all occupied. Suddenly he stopped. This compartment was full of Gryffindor girls, and one, the one with red hair and green eyes, suddenly looked up. James felt a jolt in his stomach as he looked at Lily, as if seeing her for the first time. She was very pretty, he thought. She gave him a small smile and he felt his face getting hot. Sirius turned to see what was holding James up, as Remus watched him curiously from behind. "What you looking at, eh?" Sirius asked curiously, as he started to move back down the corridor.
"Nothing," said James gruffly, as he turned away from Lily, running a hand through his hair, "nothing, jus' thinking."
Fourth Year
Lily sat in a corner of the library, poring over her Transfiguration notes, looking for something which would help for her essay. A group of boys a few tables over were debating something in hushed tones. They kept glancing at her; this made Lily uncomfortable. Upon finding a suitable paragraph, Lily began reading, sucking the end of her quill in concentration.
"Want some help?" Lily jumped, driving the end of her quill into her lip. It was one of the boys from the table near hers. "Transfigurations easy" he boasted flopping down in the seat opposite her. Lily made a noncommittal noise. Her lip still hurt.
"I made the Quidditch team," he said, grinning broadly and leaning back in his chair. "Chaser"
"Congratulations." Lily shifted in her seat, wondering if he had a reason to come talk to her. She needed to finish her essay. His friends were watching them eagerly.
"Want to go to Hogsmede with me?" he asked abruptly, the words coming out in a rush.
"Oh. No." said Lily, before she could even stop herself.
James continued to stare at her, his expression quite blank. Slowly he nodded, "well, err...ok," he said, getting to his feet. "I'll – I'll see you later then." James turned back to his friends as Lily grabbed her books and parchment and fled the library.
*
"James Potter asked you out!" squealed Martha, jumping on Lily's bed and clapping her hands together. "When? How?"
The five Gryffindor girls all crowded onto Lily's bed as she retold how James had approached her in the library.
"Where are you going?" asked Fay eagerly, learning forwards.
"I – I said no," Lily faltered, looking uncertainly around at her friends.
"Why would you say no?" asked Martha incredulously.
"I just –"
"Don't you think he's cute?" demanded Fay.
"Well, yes...I suppose so," said Lily slowly, watching her hands. "But I panicked. I don't know about boys...and dating...and all that stuff." Lily looked up to catch the girls all sharing a look. "Have any of you done it?" she asked them hotly.
"It can't be that hard," said Fay dismissively, waving her hands around. "My sister told me about a place everyone goes to. Madam Puddifoots." Fay's older sister was Head Girl and very popular. "You go there, drink coffee and then..." Fay paused, building the excitement. "You kiss." Squeals and giggles filled the room and Lily blushed scarlet as she thought about kissing James Potter in a coffee shop.
Fourth Year
Lily awoke with a start and it took her a few moments to realise where she was. She had been reading in front of the common room fire and must have fallen asleep. The candles were all out and the fire was nothing but a smouldering embers. It was a noise from the portrait hole that had woken her. Lily lit her wand and its beam fell on four boys. James was hastily stuffing something in his pocket.
"Evans!" grinned Sirius, "you didn't need to wait up for us."
"What are you doing?" Lily asked suspiciously, ignoring his comment.
"Just been for a walk," shrugged James. Lily's eyes roved from the cream spilt down the front of Sirius's robes to the icing around Peter's mouth.
"You've been in the kitchen?" No one answered but their guilty looks confirmed her suspicions. "I should report you to a prefect."
"Aww, Lily, don't do that," said Remus, pleadingly. "It will only hurt Gryffindor." Lily's eyes narrowed.
James ran a hand through his hair, scrunching it up at the back. "Want to go out with me Evans? I'll take you to the kitchen for our first date." He grinned at her, looking expectant and hopeful.
"I will not go out with you," Lily told him huffily. "And if you four don't get to bed now, I will tell a prefect." The four boys didn't need telling twice; her temper was legendary.
Fifth Year
James, Sirius and Peter slowly made their way back through the snow. Their pockets were bludging full of Honeydukes sweets they were planning on taking to Remus. He was ill and had to spend the weekend in the hospital wing. Even worse, he missed out on the Hogsmede trip.
Picking up a handful of snow, James threw it at Sirius and very soon there was a fully-fledged snowball fight happening. James threw a particularly wet one a Sirius, who laughed and ducked. Unfortunately for James, it hit Lily square in the chest as she walked around the corner with her friends. As her friends began abusing James Lily brushed the snow off her, giving James a very cold look.
"Sorry Evans, it was an accident" said James hastily, giving her a charming grin. Lily didn't answer, her eyes narrowed on James bulging pockets.
"What's that in your pockets Potter? More stuff from Zonko's?"
"Nah," said James, still grinning, running his hand through his hair, "Just some stuff for Remus. From Honeydukes."
Lily raised her eyebrows. "I know it was you who put the Dungbomb in Severus's bag. I should take points."
James's smile faltered slightly but he shook his head. "Seriously, it's stuff for Remus. He's sick and couldn't go today. We're taking it to him in the hospital wing now." He pulled a bag out of his pocket, Peter doing the same. Lily opened her mouth, closed it again, then nodded to James and walked off. James was still grinning. He turned to catch Sirius and Peter exchange an odd look. "Come on," said James happily, "let's go see Remus."
*
Lily was sitting by herself near the fire as James, Sirius and Peter entered the common room that night. "I'll see you up there," said James, making a beeline for Lily. He sat on the arm of the chair next to hers, grinning and waiting for her to look at him. Eventually, she looked up from her book and James could tell she had not forgotten the snowball incident. "I just wanted to tell you again I'm sorry about the snowball this afternoon, Evans. It was an accident."
"Hm, okay."
"You're supposed to say I'm forgiven."
"Why?"
"Because that's how it works. I say I'm sorry, you say I'm forgiven."
"What if I don't want to forgive you?"
"Ah, come on Evans. You will."
"Why?"
"Because you like me"
Choosing not to answer, Lily asked "how's Remus?"
"Better. He'll be back in class tomorrow."
"Good," Lily said, turning back to her book.
James smirked to himself. "Goodnight Evans," he whispered, leaning rather close to her. Out of the corner of her eye Lily watched him go up the boys' staircase, not at all comfortable with the butterflies in her belly.
Fifth Yeah
Professor Slughorn bounced on the balls of his feet, grinning around at his class, evidently excited about that day's lesson. "Who can identify this?" he asked, pointing to a cauldron full of potion. "Anyone?"
"Is it...Armortentia?" Martha ventured, raising her hand. "The love potion?"
"Excellent. Five points to Gryffindor. Now, can anyone tell me what is peculiar about this particular love potion? Anyone? Severus?"
Snapes top lip curled. "It smells," he began in a slow, low voice, "different to each person."
"Correct! This potion smells different to each person depending on what attracts them the most. Severus, care to tell us what you smell?" Snape simply stared at Slughorn. "No? Then perhaps someone –"
"I smell Lily Evans," a loud voice pronounced from the back of the room. Mortified, Lily suddenly became very interested in some graffiti on her desk, while Snape's top lip curled even further upwards.
Sixth Year
As Lily watched the sun set over the grounds she wiped furiously at her eyes. The owls around her were beginning to wake. Lily left the owlery for Gryffindor Tower; no doubt the girls were planning a dormitory party for her. Today was her 17th birthday, the first without her parents, and the most important. Petunia had not sent a card, even though Lily knew Petunia knew how owl post worked. Though turning 17 wasn't such a big deal in the muggle world. And Petunia was an uptight, snobbish –. She entered the Gryffindor common room with a vow to stop dwelling on the past.
"We've been waiting for ages. Where have you been?" Fay demanded, dragging Lily through the portrait hole. Lily looked around and her jaw dropped. The whole of Gryffindor house was there. Every surface was covered in food and drink and fireworks danced overhead. Music was coming for an unknown source. Fay gave her a quick hug before Lily was pulled into the room by Martha, who shoved a butterbeer in her hand.
*
"Happy birthday Evans," Lily turned from watching her friends dance to see James and Peter beside her. Peter had a crumpled up bag in his hands. "This is for you. From the Marauders." He said, handing it to her.
"Thank you." Lily took the bag and feeling slightly uneasy put her hand in and pulled out a magnificent quill.
James explained. "It's a sugar quill. 'Cause you're always sucking on your quill in class."
"Thank you," Lily said again, genuinely pleased but slightly disturbed by how much attention he paid to her study habits.
James peered down into her face, looking concerned. He had grown so tall over the years. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she nodded, wishing the lump in her throat would go away.
He smiled understandingly. "It will get better. Easier. Trust me, I know." He grasped her hand for the briefest of moments.
*
Lily thanked her friends for the party, as she climbed into be much later. "How did you do it all? What?" she added suspiciously, as she saw Martha and Fay glance at each other.
"That wasn't us."
"Then who was it?"
"James." There was silence. "He came to us this afternoon. Said he had a heap of food and knew it was your birthday and that we should have a party."
Lily bit her lip, sliding further under the covers. She was starting to get a funny feeling whenever James was mentioned, and not just because he knew it was her birthday and for some reason had a pile of food just hanging around. She wasn't sure if she liked it.
Sixth Year
The Gryffindors stood huddled together outside greenhouse three, waiting for their Herbology Professor. The wind was bitter and the ground icy from that nights frost. Across the lawn they could see the Slytherins also making their way to the greenhouses. The Gryffindors and Slytherins always had Herbology together.
A grin spread across the face of Sirius and he nudged James, nodding his head towards the hook-nosed boy walking several paces behind the rest of the Slytherins. A twin grin spread across James's face. He pulled out his wand, pointed it at Snape and cast a silent trip jinx. Snape immediately fell, sliding on the icy ground, the contents of his bag spilling. Sirius gave a shouting laugh. "Ok there, Snivellus?"
Lily made a movement as if to go to Snape's aid, who was furiously getting to his feet, his robe wet. Thinking better of it she rounded on James. "Ten points from Gryffindor! What a cruel thing to do."
"Ten! But Evans –" He was cut off as Snape's retaliatory jinx shot past his head. It was lucky that just then their mild-mannered Herbology teacher opened the door and the whole thing was put to an end.
Seventh Year
James approached the girl awkwardly. "Can I sit?" he asked, indicating the chair opposite her. A look of surprise crossed her face but she nodded. He sat, staring at the table, feeling even more awkward. The girl was watching him patiently. "Can I talk to you about something, Martha?"
"Lily?" she asked.
Now it was his turn to look surprised. "How did you –"
"You certainly didn't come for Transfiguration help," Martha said, indicating the books spread out around her. He waited for her to mention Lily again but she simply sat watching him.
James scrunched up his hair, glancing around the library to make sure no one was listening. "I wanted to ask...To talk about...Lily..." He trailed off, licking his lips. Martha was tempted to smile; his nervous behaviour was so uncharacteristic. He leaned forward, "Can we keep this between us?"
"Of course," said Martha, knowing that depending on what he had to say, she would tell Lily in a second.
James took a deep breath. "You know how Lily and I are working as heads together. It's been six weeks now and," he paused, trying to find the right words without sounding foolish. "She doesn't want to be friends." He finished lamely. Trying not to sound foolish failed.
Martha smiled. "That's not true."
"Yes, it is. We talk and do head stuff but we're not friends. I've tried but she doesn't want to."
"Do you still like her?"
"What? Yeah, I guess." Martha stared at him, eyebrows raised. "Yeah, fine. I like her, but it's not going to happen so I'll settle for just being friends. But she doesn't even want that."
Martha smiled again. It was starting to irritate James. "Give it some time. You've got a lot to make up for. I wouldn't say that she doesn't want to be friends, she's just wary." She glanced over his shoulder; Lily was just entering the library. James turned and saw her too. "You could start with an apology," Martha suggested, as he stood up. He muttered a hurried thanks and left.
"What'd Potter want?" Lily asked, sitting down in his recently vacated chair, pulling out her books.
"Oh, I was just asking for his help with my transfiguration."
*
James pulled off his cloak and rolled up his sleeves. Lily shot a sideways looks at his arms, still tanned from the summer. "Why's this head stuff so hard. I thought it would be a lot more fun than this."
Lily smiled. "What did you think it would involve?"
"Wearing a shiny badge. Taking points off Slytherins. Bossing everyone around...Not spending an hour trying to fit everyone's schedules around patrolling. I'm joking, I'm joking," he added hastily at the look on her face. He reached up to ruffle his hair and Lily watched as the muscles in his arm flexed.
They were silent for a moment. "Potter, Diggory can't patrol Thursday. The Hufflepuff's have Quidditch practice then."
James threw down his quill, resting his head on his hand and turning to face Lily. He gave her a lazy smile. "You know what, I've been thinking. I think we should drop this Potter and Evans stuff." Lily raised her eyebrows. They had very rarely used first names - certainly not in the last few years. "We're going to be working together a lot this year. I think it would just be...nicer."
"Ok...James," Lily agreed, amused by his sudden need to call her Lily. He smiled and picked up his quill.
"I'm sorry," he said abruptly, turning to face her once more.
"What for," Lily asked, surprised and a little suspicious.
"For, well, you know. The past few years. How I've been acting. I was a real ass. I was arrogant, and conceited and annoying and...and..." He looked around as if searching for more words.
"You forgot prat," she smiled.
"Yes! That too. I was disrespectful to you. I embarrassed you. And...I – I just want to say I'm sorry," he finished, rather lamely.
Lily smiled, knowing how much that little speech must have cost him. "Don't worry about it, James. And thank you," she added quietly.
Seventh Year
Lily sighed, swirling the last dregs of butterbeer around the bottle. She glanced at her watch. He was forty-five minutes late. They were supposed to be spending the afternoon together.
"What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone?" a voice asked from behind her. James squeeze between two tables and flopped down into the chair opposite her. He gave her a happy grin. Lily smiled back politely. "Seriously, what are you doing all alone? Why aren't you shopping or whatever girls do on Hogsmede weekends? Or are you waiting for Knightly?" His voice was casual but his eyes betrayed his dislike.
Lily nodded. "He's meeting me here soon."
"He's late."
"No...just probably got caught up with something."
"No, he's late. You've been here for the past forty-five minutes."
"How do you –" James nodded to the table behind, and Lily saw the other three Marauders sat around it.
"You looked lonely. Thought I would come say hello." He grinned once more and Lily felt a funny sensation in her stomach. She wished she wouldn't.
They sat chatting for several minutes, until a loud voice interrupted them. "All right, Lily?"
"Michael." Lily jumped. "I didn't see you."
"Obviously," he said, sending a glowering at James.
James stood up, smiling at Lily. "I was just keeping her company."
Michael moved behind Lily, his hand on her shoulder. "She doesn't need it."
"I beg to differ. She looked pretty lonely waiting by herself for nearly an hour." James began to walk away. "And by the way, I wouldn't leave such a pretty girl by herself too long. You never know what might happen." He smirked and walked back to his friends.
Seventh Year
"Hey, Lil," James smiled, dropping into a seat opposite Lily.
Lily looked up from her books, smiling happily. "You look tired," she observed.
"I feel tired," he admitted.
"How was training?"
He smiled brightly. "Great, I think Gryffindor's really got a good chance this year." There was a pause. " What did McGongall want?" he asked, referring to Lily's previous meeting with the professor.
"Oh, next Hogsmede weekend is in two weeks." She looked down at her books, suddenly feeling rather shy.
"I have to –"
"Do you –" They both began at the same time. They smiled at each other. "You go," Lily said, hopeful that he might ask what she was going to.
"Oh, I was just going to say I have to go supervise the detention of those third years. The ones who squirted the dungeons with toad guts." Lily felt sadly deflated.
"Oh, ok."
"What were you going to say?"
"I was just..." she looked down again, wondering why it was so hard. "What are you doing Hogsmede weekend?"
James shrugged. "Just going with the Marauders, I guess."
"Oh." She bit her lip and James couldn't help thinking how cute she looked. "I thought, maybe, you might want to go together..."
"Sure," James nodded, smiling, "we can meet up sometime."
"Oh," Lily blinked, gave him a small smile, picked up her quill and returned to her work feeling mortified.
"Well, I'll see you later then?" Lily nodded at her book, her face red with embarrassment and he left.
A few moments later he rushed back to her. "Lily did you just – were you asking me to Hogsmede...on a date?" He looked down at her hopefully, rumpling his hair.
She glanced quickly at him then back to her books. "Yeah, but its okay. Don't worry about it."
He grinned, flinging himself back in his chair. "Lily," he said, reaching across the table and turning her chin so she had to face him, "I would love to go to Hogsmede with you."
She smiled at him and she looked so cute he couldn't resist grabbing her hand and kissing it quickly. "I have to run. I'll see you later?" he asked hopefully. Lily nodded, suddenly feeling very warm and happy.
"See you later," she promised him, watching him all the way out of the library.