JD/Cox, established relationship. Mostly fluffy. It's just an excuse to make JD wear a dress, reference 80s movies and more!
--
one; his obsession
with hair care and maintenance
"You don't have it?!"
JD stomped his foot in a display of petulant anger as he yelled at a supermarket employee who was really just in the wrong place at the wrong time. "What do you mean, you don't have it?" The employee stuttered a weak response of "I'll go get the manager" to which a clearly upset JD called back, "You better, or I'll open up a brand-new can of whoopass on... your ass!"
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the most perfect display of 'How to Act as Un-ghettofabulous As Possible' by our very own, very entertaining John Dorian. Give him an enthusiastic 'Hell yeah!', folks!"
JD glared at Dr. Cox, who was leaning next to the Revolving Lipstick Tower and applauding exuberantly. "They said they'd have a shipment in a week ago," he complained. "Do you know how horrible my past week has been?"
"Let's see," Dr. Cox began, extending a finger for each highlight of JD's week as he listed them. "You landed your oncology fellowship position that you have been nauseatingly worried about for a good portion of forever, none of your patients died, and you are sleeping with a gorgeous stud who agreed without much protest to accompany you on your biweekly supermarket hair care run."
"You made me promise to take over half of your patients tomorrow! How is that 'without much protest'?!"
"As I was saying," Dr. Cox continued, waving off JD's reply, "I find that I just have to agree with you, Katrina, your past week has been absolutely atrocious. Really a way to one-up those starving African orphans in Darfur."
JD pouted. "Okay, fine, so my week was totally awesome. But my hair."
Dr. Cox snorted and stared up at the Giant Shelf of Hair Care Products, the store's great monolith of shampoos and conditioners and who knew what else. "You spend too much time obsessing over your hair, even for a prepubescent girl such as yourself."
"I do not!"
"Yeah you do. Tell me Donna," Dr. Cox said, pointing at two bottles randomly. "What is the difference between those two bottles of shampoo that accomplish the same exact function, which is to keep your hair clean?"
"Well," JD began expertly, sounding a little too smug for any normal person. "The one bottle on your left is John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Moisturizing Shampoo for Amber to Maple Shades, with extracts of tea leaves and crushed pearls in the formula. Nice stuff." He nodded in appreciation of fine shampoo product and pointed to the other bottle. "And that bottle, on your right, is a bottle of Garnier Fructis shampoo, which you shouldn't use because it makes your hair gunky near the scalp." He shuddered. "That was awful."
Dr. Cox waited.
"Okay, fine, so maybe I know a little more about hair care than most people," JD admitted, slightly upset that he had walked right into that one. "But at least my hair is pretty." He took a step back to toss his head like a shampoo model, and for a few Technicolor seconds, time slowed down, as an angelic chorus sprung up to serenade the glimmering, glitzy hair follicles as they parted the air around them like delicate flowers.
JD landed on his ass a second later, knocked off-balance by fulfilling a lifelong dream to be a shampoo model in a few memorable seconds. He rubbed his butt as Dr. Cox towered over him, arms crossed and smiling like a kid swamped in birthday presents. "Pretty. Whatever you say, Gisele."
"My hair is pretty." JD pouted and stuck a hand out for Dr. Cox to pull him up. Which he didn't, and JD righted himself without his help. "It's nicer than yours."
Dr. Cox did a double-take. "Do you want to repeat that, Newbie, or should I just skip to the part where I shave your head in glorious retaliation?"
"It's springy." JD, impervious to the threat, giggled and boinged a curl. "I like it when it's longer like this."
If looks could kill, JD would have been reduced to a smoldering pile of ash instantly by the intensity of Dr. Cox's glare. "Don't touch my hair, Newbie."
"I won't touch your hair... if you take over all of my patients tomorrow." JD's grin was malicious, hands flexing as they ran themselves through Dr. Cox's hair, boinging every single red curl.
Dr. Cox pulled away, but JD was tangled in his hair like a obstinate, handsy burr. "Fine, you won the battle, but for the love of Jehovah, get the hell out of my hair!" JD released his claws and smiled sweetly. Dr. Cox looked at him, groaning and massaging his scalp.
"And where the hell is that manager? I want my hair gel and I want it now!"
two;
he loves the spice girls
When he saw the fluorescent green flier advertising a charity karaoke event in Pediatrics, his first thought was one of godawful revulsion. At the garish color of the flier, not the event itself. Charity events were fine. They cheered up the sick kids, both those terminally ill and those just sick with the flu for a while. This event would require volunteer participation - and the oxymoronic statement was enough to boggle Dr. Cox's mind for a few hours at least; required volunteering? - where each participant would sing some of their favorite songs.
He wouldn't be joining in, of course, and he didn't feel the need to explain why to anyone who asked. Most other people saw the event differently; Dr. Cox was nearly mauled by an overexcited Elliot as she squealed at the chance to make up for missing out on being the Pediatrics clown. She didn't specificallysay so, but you could tell with Barbie. Always one to wear her heart on her sleeve when it came to those sorts of matters.
Ted's band was a bit of a surprise at the signups, but The Worthless Peons were written on the sheet, too. Some prankster had written Dr. Ján Ïtor before hastily scribbling it out. Among the names on the signup sheet were Snoop Dogg Intern, Laverne's church choir, Gandhi and Carla (doing a duet, no doubt), and JD.
The last one was a bit odd. What was Newbie doing entertaining sick children? A naturally curious person, Dr. Cox decided that he had to investigate this. He had to ask the kid just what the hell he would be doing at a charity karaoke event.
"Singing, Perry. That's what you do at at these shindigs." With that wry remark - and Perry promised that he'd make the kid pay for such flippancy - JD flounced off, leaving Perry more bewildered than ever.
Trying to trip the kid up didn't yield any useful information about why he was participating, what he was singing, anything of the sort. What bugged Dr. Cox more was why he was so gosh-darned curious about JD's life and motives. Had someone asked him before whether he cared very much about the kid's personal life, Dr. Cox would have snorted and displayed pure indifference with a side of arrogant sarcasm. Then they started sleeping together. And now, Dr. Cox was insatiably curious. It was weird, it was bugging him, and he didn't like it one teeny bit.
The karaoke event was scheduled for Friday afternoon. Dr. Cox slipped into the Pediatrics ward with the rest of the crowd gathered to see the event. It got a big turnout, too, he was surprised to note. Bigger than he imagined, anyway. The participants were slated to go on in random order, which meant that Dr. Cox had no idea when JD would go on, and they would be singing in the middle of the ward, visible to everyone. All Perry had to do was wait.
JD wasn't on first. Gandhi and Carla were, performing a spirited cover of "You're The One That I Want" from Grease (and he was right, they had done a duet). The kids loved it, anyway, which was nice to see. And it was hilarious to see Carla don a blonde, curly wig and shimmy over her husband as he looked up at her with knowing adoration. They bowed to the applause of sick children and walked out of the ward, with Gandhi whispering something in Carla's ear as he groped her leather-clad butt. He got slapped, but it was all for show. Probably.
Snoop Dogg Intern was on next, singing an inspiring 80s power ballad in what Dr. Cox admitted was a very good tenor. Following his brief performance/air guitar solo complete with air guitar smashing was Ted's band. The Worthless Peons weren't too bad either, reverting to their roots as they sang theme songs from cartoons, which the kids absolutely adored. A few of them even starting joining in, in their hacking, wheezing voices, earning loving coos from parents or slow head-shakes from jaded doctors who knew more than the ignorant parents. But Dr. Cox was really starting to get agitated, wondering just when the hell Newbie would be on.
Unless he just wrote his name down as a joke, he thought. He soon nixed that notion, seeing as how JD wouldn't fake-sign up for a kids' charity event, because that just was not like him. Or was it? The insatiable curiosity andcaring was back, and it was going to give him a migraine. Dr. Cox frowned and crossed his arms, leaning against the wall as The Worthless Peons left the floor.
A few moments of silence passed as DJ the Todd switched tracks. The room darkened, and Dr. Cox heard two pairs of sneakers hastily run onto the floor. Two figures arranged themselves in a singular pose.
Yo! I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want!
That was JD, all JD. Dr. Cox had to bite his tongue to keep from going into hysterics as disco lights switched on to reveal JD and Elliot covering the infamous "Wannabe". The thing was, they were really bad, which made it all the more laughable. They were terrible, to be generous. JD did not have the right tone for the song at all, Elliot was giggling in between verses, and the kids were dancing in their beds. The entire scenario was so horribly funny and so completely implausible that Dr. Cox broke into peals of laughter at the same time as everyone else did, barely keeping control of himself as he clutched at his sides. JD and Elliot were caught up in the hilarity, too as they went through their choreographed dance moves and sang to the music, occasionally doubling over or grasping on to one another as they realized just what they were doing.
The song thankfully ended, and Dr. Cox wiped away tears of mirth as he signaled a pink-faced JD over.
"Barbie got you to singthat?" he asked incredulously.
"What?" JD was momentarily stunned. "Oh, no, I got her to sing it!"
Dr. Cox gaped.
"I thought it would be hilarious to sing," JD went on, giggling every now and then, "and then we started putting dance moves to it when we were practicing, and I thought the kids would love it. I think they did," he said.
"You... you were the one who suggested the Spice Girls."
JD grinned sheepishly. "I like the Spice Girls."
Dr. Cox was left speechless. "Victoria... I have nothing to say to that." He shook his head, wondering what the world had come to as he walked out of the room. JD was smiling as he followed, knowing full well that Dr. Cox had intentionally called him Posh Spice's name.
JD made plans to put the full album on later that night. He didn't think Perry would mind.
three; pillow talk + snuggling JD
post-coital
Okay, so maybe the kid was a bit more girly than Perry had ever expected him to be. Yes, he often sang in the shower to such songs as "Hot Stuff" or "I'm Coming Out" or any other clichéd song (and Perry had caught JD on several occasions, dressed in a fluffy pink bathrobe with his hairbrush in hand and one of numerous mud masques slathered on as he danced about the bathroom and belted Cher's "Believe" before noticing he had an audience and squeaking at Perry to get out). Yes, he was the world's unofficial expert on hair products and could have made a small fortune in that business if he wanted to. And yes, he always cried when Leonardo DiCaprio sank underneath the icy waters of the Atlantic as Kate Winslet looked on from the big floating door.
But for a guy with such effeminate qualities, the sex was really, really good.
It was different. Well, that was an obvious observation. But the real thing of it was, JD was just good at sex. Not to say that anyone else Perry had been with was bad, but JD was impassioned and sometimes overly enthusiastic. It might have been an age thing, but then again, it could have just been JD himself. He was very flexible, for one, which made for a few interesting nights picking out a position in the Kama Sutra (but after the third night, Perry had thrown his back out and ordered JD to take the book back. He didn't think JD had listened, because occasionally he would spy JD poring over the same issue of US Weekly, an issue that was distinctly thicker than any normal magazine. But that was besides the point). And, if he was to be perfectly honest with himself, JD was attractive in his own weird way. Maybe it was the lips, or the big, trusting doe eyes, or his expression when he was so turned on he wasn't thinking properly, but there was definitely something about him that engendered lust and made Perry put up with JD's overly-girly nature.
Unless you counted just how noisy JD was during sex. In retrospect, that was almost predictable - if Chatty Cathy talked all throughout the day, then it would make sense for JD to talk all throughout sex. But honestly, he babbled. It was funny and endearing in its own right, and downright flattering when JD was screaming and praising his name to the heavens, but being so loud had its downfalls, including waking up various neighbors in Perry's apartment building. One of their nighttime visitors was little old Mrs. Shaw, a sweet and kindly neighbor who was often greeted by the pair as they stood in the doorway, disheveled, sweating, and wrapped in bedsheets.
"Everything all right in here?" she asked cautiously, avoiding any conclusions.
"Oh yeah!" JD piped up, pushing his hair out of his eyes and panting ever so slightly. "We were just having sex!"
Perry groaned and cuffed JD on the back of the head as Mrs. Shaw left in a hurry, blushing a bright shade of red and asking them to forgive her intrusion. The door closed abruptly, and Mrs. Shaw could still be heard as she pattered down the hall in bunny-slippered feet, telling herself never to intrude on their business ever again.
"Why do you think she had a broom?" JD asked as they returned to the bed.
"Newbie, I don't know, but she should've used it to shut you up. Really, do you find it necessary to proclaim to the world every detail of our private life to people with no business knowing?"
"I didn't give her details, Perry!" JD protested as he crawled under the covers. "I wouldn't do that, you know."
"Right." Perry turned over so he wasn't facing JD and closed his eyes.
"Maybe she had a broom because she thought we were being robbed, and she wanted to help."
Perry groaned and rolled over to face JD, who was lying on his back, hands behind his head. "Katherine. Bed." He faced away from JD once more, and it was finally quiet.
Or not. "Why don't you ever call me JD?" JD asked. "Even here?"
Perry was about to smack the kid if he kept interrupting his journey to the comforts of sleep. "Newbie, for what I hope is the last time, I don't know, just let me get some sleep, all right?"
JD ignored his request, now that Perry was facing him and he had his attention. "I mean, I'm used to you calling me Newbie or a girls' name, but you never call me JD unless you're being really serious or something."
"JD. I'm being really serious. I'm tired, I want to go to sleep, we have work in the morning." Perry was about to turn around, but something in JD's expression stopped him. "It can't bother you that I don't call you JD, can it? I don't call anyone else by their real names."
"You do for Carla."
"Carla's Carla," Perry offered as an explanation as he looked into JD's eyes, searching for a hidden message he wasn't revealing. "Why does it bother you?" he asked curiously.
"It doesn't bother me," JD lied. "Well, I mean, it's just... you can't even call me JD in here," he clarified as he gestured to the bedroom.
Perry was a little stunned, but he didn't say anything to JD other than "Get some sleep." He closed his eyes, only to open them briefly as JD pulled himself closer to Perry, moving Perry's arm to form a small space for his head. What resulted from this brief human knot was JD's head lying in the space he created underneath Perry's head, his arm nervously draped over Perry's side, ready to move at the first sign that this was overstepping boundaries.
Perry shifted, and JD began to pull away immediately, mumbling an apology through the sleepy fog. Perry cut off the apology with a gentle kiss to JD's lips, and JD reciprocated drowsily as he moved closer until sleep found them entwined together, problems momentarily forgotten in a mutual embrace.
four; he's a hopeless romantic
Dr. Cox was not having a good day. In fact, he was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Three patients coded, two of them died, and Mr. Sykes probably didn't even have a week left before he flatlined, too. These sorts of things happened time after time to doctors, but when it all piled on like this...
He walked into the bathroom to find some solace in solitude, leaning over the urinals to rest his head against the cold tiles of the bathroom wall. There were no dying patients or worried families in here, just himself and the clean bathroom fixtures.
"Hey Perry!"
He really wanted to snap the kid's neck for interrupting his alone time. Instead, he inhaled an extraneous amount of air and released it through his nostrils, trying to steady his already-frazzled nerves. "Newbie," he began in a grave tone. "We talked about this."
"I know," JD sighed, unable to keep the disappointment from his voice. "No calling you Perry in public." He walked over to the urinal right next to Dr. Cox, who huffed, crossed the room, and began to gently pound his forehead against the wall tiles.
He was still losing neurons as JD finished with the urinal, flushed and went over to the sinks. JD turned on the water and stuck his hands under the faucet. "You okay?"
Dr. Cox stopped slamming his head against the wall and turned to JD, who was carefully avoiding looking at him. He exhaled. "I'm just peachy, Newbie," he said, but his reply lacked the pointed sarcasm he wanted it to have, instead coming out as a dull and beaten answer.
JD turned off the water and shook his hands in the sink. "Do you want to talk-"
"I'm fine." Dr. Cox's reply was curt and his subsequent exit from the bathroom just as abrupt. JD frowned and looked at his reflection in the mirror, musing over how much of a kicked puppy he looked like. He sighed and saw his reflection sigh with him, shouldering some of the disappointment he carried. If Dr. Cox didn't trust him enough to tell him what was wrong...
Leaving the bathroom, JD caught up with Turk, fresh from another appendectomy. He didn't have to open his mouth for Turk to figure out what was wrong.
"Dr. Cox won't tell you what's bothering him again?" JD mentally cursed their psychic connection, to which Turk told him not to bother. He settled on nodding and walked with Turk to the cafeteria.
"I mean, I tell Dr. Cox when I'm having a bad day, and he never tells me anything!" JD lamented as they carried armloads of pudding cups to an empty table. They sat down and promptly began to play Tower, a new game courtesy of Turk's competitive mind. The object of Tower was to stack pudding cups as high as you could go; the winner was the one with the remaining tower, and the loser had to clean up all of the pudding cups. JD usually lost. But today he wasn't concentrating on trying to win; he was complaining about Dr. Cox to his best friend. "I don't know why he's so upset."
Turk gingerly stacked a butterscotch on a vanilla. "You need to make a Big Romantic Gesture," he said sagely.
"A Big Romantic Gesture?" JD carefully placed a chocolate on top of a tapioca.
"When Carla's having a bad day," Turk elaborated, "I don't ask her what's up, because when I do, she just says 'Nothing' and won't talk to me for the rest of the day. Instead, I do something really romantic and spontaneous, like ordering a bunch of roses and scattering the petals on our bed or taking her to a really nice restaurant. Something Big and Romantic."
"Wait, those roses were for Carla?" Turk gave JD a Look as JD's tower crashed to the table. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. But I don't know what sort of Big Romantic Gesture I could do. And I'm not even sure if Dr. Cox is a fan of those."
Turk grinned and knocked his tower over. "It'll come to you." He left JD sitting at the table, surrounded by scattered thoughts and pudding cups.
--
Dr. Cox stormed into the doctor's lounge, terrifying Doug, that bumbling discredit to pathology, into fleeing the room, and flopped down onto the couch, wishing today was over. Two more patients' conditions had worsened, he hadn't gotten a chance to see his son in a while, and now the TV in the lounge wasn't working. Perfect.
He bit back a string of vocabulary colorful enough to make a 96-box of Crayola crayons look lackluster and dull, though no one was in earshot to blush and cover their children's virgin ears. Dr. Cox settled for a dissatisfied grunt and made to leave the room, planning on insulting a few interns into ten years of therapy. He was at the threshold when Carla blocked his path.
"Carla. Now's really not a good time." He kept his voice level, and Carla's smile wavered.
"I really can't let you leave, Dr. Cox," she said. Dr. Cox's eyes bulged, but Carla held her ground.
"Do you want to tell me why, or can we just both agree that it's for some stupid reason like 'I can't let Dr. Cox back into the wilderness, he'll just devour those poor interns that fall into his path' and let me out?"
Carla didn't budge. "I can't let you leave here. And it's for a very good reason."
"Which is...?"
Carla put a finger to her lips. Dr. Cox opened his mouth for a long-winded rant when he faintly heard music float in from the conveniently-open window of the lounge. He glanced at Carla questioningly, who was trying to maintain her poker face as she pointed to the window.
Dr. Cox wasn't ready for what he saw when he crossed the room and stuck his head out of the window. For there, standing in the parking lot, was JD. But it wasn't just the dorky, scrubs-clad JD he had come to know (and fine, love, though he wouldn't admit it anytime soon). That JD had taken a hike. This JD was holding aloft a boom-box as he stood in the middle of the parking lot, blasting Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" in what was the strangest homage to Say Anything... since that one South Park episode.
Dr. Cox was vaguely aware that his mouth was hanging open. He blinked, and looked again. JD was still there, doing his best impersonation of the famed John Cusack role. Dr. Cox squinted - hell, the kid was even dressed the same. He looked back at Carla quickly, his face an expression of Did you know about this?. Carla was grinning widely as she leaned against the doorframe, nodding her head. We all did. Dr. Cox shook his head and turned his attention back to JD, still holding that goddamn boom-box above his head. He caught JD's eyes for a moment, and JD smiled up at him.
Dr. Cox breezed past Carla and all but flew down to the parking lot. JD was still standing there, although he had put the boom-box down. "Newbie, what-"
JD was giddy with excitement. "It was my idea," he said breathlessly. "Well, sort of. Turk told me to do a Big Romantic Gesture, and I thought hey, it worked in that movie!"
"How-"
"We planted people all over the hospital," JD explained. "Lonnie was in the men's room, Laverne was at the nurse's station, Doug in the lounge, anywhere we thought you might be. Anyways, whoever you ran into would tip off Carla, who would either try to get you to the lounge or keep you there, so it was kind of convenient that you were actually in the lounge." He stopped to take a breath before continuing at ludicrous speed. "Doug then told Elliot, who told me, and..." He trailed off and broke into a grin that split his face apart, a faint blush tinging his cheeks.
Dr. Cox was dumbfounded. He stared at the man before him, who was trying not to float into the sky on a cloud of his own happiness and excitement. "Newbie, why the hell did you go through all that? You know I don't care much for that sort of stuff."
At that, JD's smile faltered brokenly. "I just thought it might be nice," he said in an embarrassed, falsely cheery voice that was now miles away from the truly happy person he had just been. He looked down at the dirty sneakers that he had borrowed just for this, suddenly feeling insignificant and stupid. "You seemed so down, and I thought this might cheer you up and make your day better."And remind you of how much I really care.
Dr. Cox quickly realized the mistake he had made in telling JD that he didn't care for "that sort of stuff." As it turns out, my daycan get worse. He attempted a cheerful grin and put one hand on JD's shoulder; JD slowly looked up, hurt evident in his big doe eyes.
"I wanted to make you feel better," JD mumbled, looking down as he tried his darndest not to let the disappointment seep into his words. He failed completely, and Dr. Cox felt the angry minions that controlled his emotions take a sledgehammer to that part of his brain, saying as they hammered See? He was just trying to make you feel better, you Grade-A asshole! Make up for this somehow!
"JD." JD glanced up at the use of his real name. Dr. Cox looked straight into his eyes, shocked and touched at the depth of emotion he found. "Thank you. This has..." He chuckled, shaking his head. "My day has been absolute horseshit. And-"
"You could've told me about it," JD interrupted, managing to keep an accusatory tone from his words.
"I didn't think you'd want to hear about it," Dr. Cox said, a little startled that JD would really want to listen to him rant about his bullshit day. "But anyway. This has been..." He laughed again, lightly squeezing JD's shoulder. "You don't know what something like this means to me, on a day like this. On any day. You really don't."
JD didn't reply; he moved forward until his nose was touching Dr. Cox's, connecting on another level. The distance between their lips shortened until they could feel the other breathing against their respective mouths. JD finally closed the distance with nothing more than a feather-soft kiss, perfectly aware of Perry's vendetta against public displays of affection. And even though most of the people at the hospital knew about them, you could never be too careful about being too over the top and obvious. Some people would never change. But still, this was a conveniently vacant parking lot. He smiled a little as he felt Perry respond, feeling less and less awkward about kissing him in a public area.
Perry pulled away first. "Newbie, you remember how I feel about PDAs."
JD nodded and laughed under his breath. "For a minute there I thought you didn't like it."
"Like what, the kiss or the 80s reference?"
JD smirked. "The 80s reference. I know you liked the kiss."
Dr. Cox frowned and lightly flicked JD on the ear. "Don't get too cocky there, Diane." He walked away to return to the hospital, JD only a slight distance behind.
five; he's a better juliet than romeo
It wasn't every day that patients checked into the hospital with paper bags loaded with Shakespearian costumes. Then again, very few days could ever be classified as "every day", and today was not one of them.
"Mr... Meyer, I presume," JD said, walking into the patient's room. He then grinned. "Your first name wouldn't happen to be Oscar, would it?"
Mr. Meyer, an older, balding man with a killer handlebar mustache and goatee, stared at JD, unsure as to whether he should glare or smile bemusedly at this doctor with the bad puns. "My first name is Richard."
"Right you are, Oscar!" JD said, laughing at his own joke. He quickly calmed down. "Now, Mr. Meyer, I've been looking at your chart, and so far we really can't find anything obviously wrong with you, but we're going to keep you a few days for observation and run a few tests, okay?"
"Not okay." Richard frowned.
"Not okay?"
"No." Richard crossed his arms and nodded his head off toward the bags he had insisted be brought in with him. "I am a thespian." He said this self-importantly, holding his head aloft in a regal manner, complete with his nose in the air.
"And who doesn't love seeing two hot thespians make out with each other?" JD joked.
"I said thespian, not les-"
"I know, I know," JD continued. "I was just having some fun."
Richard rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner. "As I was saying. I am a thespian, and my acting troupe is putting on a performance of Romeo and Juliet in a week."
"You'll probably be out in a week," JD began, but Richard the Thespian held his hand up to stop him.
"I need to practice, young man,practice. And if I am here, I miss out on valuable practices with my troupe." Richard frowned. "It's impractical to bring the troupe here, but I need someone to practice with..." He looked JD over. "I suppose, since you are the one who suggested to keep me here, you will compromise, yes?"
JD was a little thrown off by the sudden British accent the man acquired. "Compromise?"
"Yes, dear boy, compromise. I assume you know its meaning." Richard had thrown himself into drama, practically slipping into character as he spoke. "You may keep me here for observation, but you must read lines with me."
JD shrugged. He had been president of his high school drama club, he had played Oberon in the school's production ofA Midsummer Night's Dream. Shakespeare, Schmakespeare. "Sure."
"Jolly good." JD let a rebellious giggle break free at the language. "Now, you will need to get into costume." He pointed again toward the bags he had brought in.
"Um, actually," JD began, "I have a few more patients to go check on, but I'll come back later when I'm all done, okay?"
Richard sighed dramatically. "Very well." He dismissed JD with a wave of his hand. JD nearly tripped over himself leaving the room, wondering why today couldn't be an "every day" where he wouldn't be reading lines with old thespians.
He returned to Richard's room around six. Richard was sitting up in his bed, looking kingly in the dusky light as he pored over a script from Romeo and Juliet.
"Mr. Meyer?"
"Ah, Dr... well, you know who you are." Richard carefully removed his rectangular reading glasses and set them delicately on the table next to his bed.
"It's Dr. Dorian," JD offered. Richard handed JD a small booklet with an earmarked page. "Turn to the page with the folded corner," he instructed, "and go fetch me my costume."
"I'm sorry, sir, but you kind of aren't allowed to wear anything but the hospital gown," JD said apologetically. "Hospital policy and all."
"What an odd little rule," Richard scoffed. "Well, if I can't wear my costume, you must wear yours, at least. Yours is in the green bag."
JD was about to tell Richard that he couldn't wear the costume, but Richard's laser gaze prompted JD to set his booklet down and dig around in the green bag. He pulled out a set of breeches and a frilly shirt.
"No, no," Richard said bossily, waving his hands in a manner that indicated JD had the wrong costume. "Your costume is beneath that one."
JD peered back into the bag, seeing only a mass of ruffles and lace. He set aside the breeches and shirt and pulled from the green bag a circus tent of feminine frills. "Sir, you must be mistaken. This is a dress."
Richard chortled, as if JD had just said the most obvious thing in the world. "Well of course it's a dress, what did you expect?"
"I expected a man's costume!" JD held the dress up to his body. "I thought I'd be reading Romeo, or Tybalt, or the other guy!"
Richard laughed a booming laugh. "Of course not! I will be reading Romeo, and you will be reading Juliet."
"But-"
"No buts!" Richard snapped. "Now put the dress on or discharge me!"
JD opened his mouth to protest, closed it, and went into the bathroom to change into the giant, ruffled thing. I wish I could discharge you, he thought gloomily as he fit (perfectly) into Juliet's costume, if we didn't find out you were actually sick. Poor Richard Meyer wouldn't be discharged for a little while; he had been admitted with only shortness of breath and a mild cough, and now diagnosed with pneumonia. Normally, patients with pneumonia were discharged with the prescription of bed rest, orange juice, and a healthy dose of antibiotics, but because of Richard's age they were going to keep him until he had recovered. JD was going to tell him, but now he was suckered into dressing in drag to make an old man happy.
That sounded wrong. JD looked at his reflection in the mirror. The dress was unfortunately a perfect fit, although he had to be the flattest Juliet in existence. He grabbed a few sheets of toilet paper, wadded them up into two separate balls, and stuck them in the bodice of the dress. It helped a little. His attention returned to his reflection, and he noticed with disdain that he looked washed-out in this dress. If only I had some blush...
Realizing what he was thinking, JD shook himself and walked out of the bathroom. He promptly wished he hadn't, for Dr. Cox's eyes were now just trying to escape from their sockets as he stood and stared at JD.
"Don't. Laugh," JD muttered, in what he hoped was a threatening tone. Dr. Cox nodded, looking down and steadying himself. After taking a few deep breaths, he finally looked up at JD and did a double-take.
"My God, Newbie, did you stuff your shirt?"
JD glared pointedly and pouted as Dr. Cox shook with barely restrained hysteria. "This is... this is just too easy. Too easy." JD gave him the finger, and Dr. Cox fake-reeled backwards mockingly as JD strode over to Richard and picked up the booklet, determined to be the best damn Juliet ever.
"And who is this charming fellow?" Richard asked, gesturing to Dr. Cox, who was leaning against the wall and grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"That's Dr. Cox," JD said tautly. "And he probably has other patients who need him."
"Oh no," Dr. Cox said lightly. "I'm all done for the day. I'm just here for the show." He briefly touched his nose and crossed his arms. "Please, I want to see this."
Richard smiled innocently. "Always nice to have a live audience." He nodded at JD. "Are we ready, Juliet?"
JD tried to block out Dr. Cox's stifled snorts of laughter. "Yes," he replied through tight lips. "We're ready." He opened the booklet to the doggy-eared page.
The hospital room melted away, the curtains flung open, and a solitary light from the stage rafters revealed JD as he languished far above the Capulet orchard, leaning on the balustrade of a high balcony and gazing at the inky void above.
"O Romeo, O Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" JD lamented, plucking a flower from a nearby tree and twirling it daintily. "Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be sworn my love!" He paused and sighed, lovestruck and starry-eyed to match the sky. "And I'll no longer be a Capulet."
Since this was JD's fantasy, it wasn't Richard Meyer the Geriatric Thespian playing the part of Romeo Montague. JD smiled when he heard Dr. Cox stage-whisper, "Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?" Even though he knew Juliet didn't know about her nighttime visitor just yet, he stole a quick glance at Dr. Cox, who was dressed the part and staring up at him in wonder. JD turned away and spoke, directing every word to the Romeo below.
"Romeo, doff thy name!" JD called out, tossing the flower to the ground. "And for that name which is no part of thee, take all myself!"
JD bit his tongue to keep from smiling like a loon when Dr. Cox said, "Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized; henceforth I never will be Romeo." Call you but love. He let a wayward smile break loose.
JD quickly regained his composure as the scene in Capulet's orchard flew by, smirking a little when Dr. Cox cried, "O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?"
"Trust me, I won't leave you unsatisfied." JD felt free to use his poetic license then, winking at his Romeo.
"Young man, I don't believe that was the correct line."
JD was thrust from his fantasy back into the real world, where Richard was staring pointedly at him, a curious expression affixed onto his visage.
"I'm sorry," JD mumbled, going pink. An awkward silence followed.
"It's no trouble," Richard said affably. "You read your lines exceptionally well, my dear boy. Were you ever an actor at one point?"
A small smile played on JD's lips. "I was in my high school drama club," he admitted shyly, knowing Dr. Cox would tease him mercilessly about prancing around in tights in the name of drama.
"You read your lines too passionately for something as trivial as a high school drama club," Richard said, closing his booklet with a flourish. JD's blush spread at the remark, knowing full well what the motivation for the passion had been. "You may return the costume."
"I think you should keep it," Dr. Cox whispered to JD as he walked over to the bathroom. JD did a double-take; Dr. Cox was grinning wolfishly at him. JD closed the bathroom door with a loud snap and returned a few minutes later, wearing his usual hospital attire. He left the room with Dr. Cox.
"Yes, Newbie, were you ever an actor at one point, or were you just fantasizing about the right Romeo?" Dr. Cox was merciless, and JD tried to keep a straight face until the right comeback came to him.
"Hugh Jackman does look good in breeches," he said dreamily, complete with effeminate sigh. He contorted his face into a schoolgirl's mask of starstruck wonder, trying not to laugh at Dr. Cox's sudden look of murder. He gave in and howled with exaggerated laughter, clutching his sides as Dr. Cox fumed that he would kill Hugh Jackman in the worst possible way.
JD wiped at his eyes. "You deserved that." He released the tight grip he had had on Richard Meyer's chart and looked down, all mirth forgotten in a moment of panic. "Shit, I forgot to tell him we'd be keeping him here!" JD scurried back into the room, Dr. Cox watching as he shook his head, wondering aloud how the hell Hugh Jackman could look good in anything.
"Mr. Meyer, I'm so sorry, I forgot to tell you, you have pneumonia and we're going to keep you here until you've recovered because of your age," JD said in a record-breaking rush as he dashed into the room.
Richard looked up from his newly-filed nails. "If you insist," he said.
"You're being very blasé about this," JD noted, hugging the clipboard to his chest.
"I don't think I mind it here much," Richard admitted. "Granted, you make a much better Juliet than Macy. The woman playing Juliet in my acting troupe," he clarified at JD's puzzled expression.
JD nodded at Richard and glanced back at the green bag that held the Juliet costume. "Hey, do you mind if I borrow the Romeo and Juliet costumes? I'll return them unharmed," JD asked.
Richard raised a thick eyebrow. "I suppose, but whatever for?"
JD smiled as he thought of his fantasy. "I just felt like acting a little," he said, thinking of just how good Dr. Cox would look in tight leather breeches.
(and one way he
isn't)
"Christ, Newbie, where in all the nine circles of hell did you learn to do that?"
JD grinned up at Perry, licking his lips and still tasting salt. "Let's just say that men know what men like."
Perry looked down at JD, who crawled up from his spot between Perry's legs and joined him on the pillows. "You win," he conceded, too sated to argue. They were silent for a few minutes, hearing nothing but the other's steadying breathing.
A while passed before Perry looked over at JD. "Ice, Newbie? Where'd that come from?"
JD smirked and put his hands behind his head, feeling his mouth slowly warm up from the ice cubes it had previously held. "Just a trick I learned."
"Huh." Silent once more, they fell asleep together.