Ed, Edd n Eddy's Off the Wall October
Summary: Every year after fall break, the Peach Creek kids hold a drawing to decide who gets to host the annual Halloween party, and this year happens to be Eddy's turn! But with new students appearing every day, crazy teachers, and a few 'bad apples' looking for trouble, preparations might be harder than Eddy thought...
Chapter 1, Oct. 22nd: A Day of Surprises…
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Carrie and May. I'd also like to thank those of you who allowed me to use their original characters in this fanfic as well as suggest a few characters. And again, thanks a lot!!!!!!
Note: I'm still open to suggestions for characters! Anyone want to see your favorite cartoon character or an original character make an appearance? Or is the character I'm using out of character? If so, tell me in my forum! I'd really appreciate that!
It was a cold, October morning, the twenty-second of October to be exact, and Dorothy was walking to Peach Creek Jr. High with her friend, May. Dorothy is has a worried look on her face.
"What's the matter, Dorothy?" May asks.
"I'm fine," May's pink-haired witch friend replied, sounding just as worried as she looked. May looks at her suspiciously. "Okay, I'm nervous. I don't think I'm ready to teach."
"You'll do fine, now stop worrying. You told me that you taught Double D how to use ÄRMs, so you should be able to teach these slackers easily! Look at it this way, you'll get to boss Eddy around, and he has to do whatever you say, as long as it doesn't go against the rules in your substitute teacher's manual." Dorothy perks up.
"I like the sound of that…" she says with a wicked grin on her face. Call it a coincidence, but Eddy followed by his two friends Ed and Double D catch up with the girls.
"Why are you walking, Doro-freak? Didja leave your broom at home?" Eddy asks mockingly. A vein pops up on the side of Dorothy's face.
"Eddy, be nice!" Double D scolds. Dorothy calms down, smiles, and folds her arms across her chest.
"That's okay, Eddy! In case you haven't heard, I'm substituting for your Language Arts teacher while she's recovering from her 'encounter with Grim'." Eddy starts sweating. "I'll remember your comment in fourth period." Eddy gulps and bites his nails.
"See? It'll be easy! All you have to do is give the kids their assignment and pray that they don't ask any questions about it." May says.
"Did I mention how pretty you look in that dress, Dorothy?" Eddy asks nervously.
"Nice try, Frog-face, but I'll still remember your comment if I catch you acting up!"
"So, Dorothy, you're the new substitute for the English teacher? That's great!" Double D says, causing Dorothy to blush. "I wonder what happened between the old teacher and Grim…"
Ed, who had been holding his comment in for the past few seconds, finally let it out. "Hey, did you guys hear that Carrie's going to school here now?"
"Yes, Ed! You told us already!" Everyone says, bored.
"Speaking of Carrie, where is she?" May asks. "She got up earlier than I did this morning. I hope she didn't forget!"
Suddenly, Carrie yells from behind them, "Hey, wait up!" Carrie is barely able to stand for the huge backpack on her back. Everyone runs back to help her and Ed happily takes his girlfriend's load off her back.
"Good, lord, Carrie, what on Earth do you have in there?"
"Let's see…I packed my pajamas, my toothbrush, some silverware, a box of band-aids, stickers, my lunch, some manga that I borrowed from Ed, a few strips of bacon, a mailbox, and I can't remember the rest…"
"You're just going to school, Carrie, not running away from home!" May says.
"I know. I just want to be prepared for when the government's money is stolen by Martians and they use it to blow outer space up."
"Only your childish brain could come up with something as illogical and irrelevant as that, Carrie."
"Ow, your big words gave me a head pain!" Carrie complains, holding her head. A large sweat drop forms on May's face and she frowns. Carrie recovers. "What was I doing? Oh, yeah! I was going to, um, school! That's right! I feel so smart!" Carrie skips off ahead of the group. Eddy stares after her, his eyes heart-shaped.
"Sometimes I wonder what it's like in her world…" May comments.
"I don't even want to know…" Dorothy adds.
"Gravy!"
"Hey, Double D, how come none of us took the bus to school?" Everyone freezes as the school bus drives past with Kevin hanging out the window.
"See ya at school, DORKS!!!!!" Kevin laughs at them as the bus drives out of sight.
"I think I'll remember that for my…" Dorothy glances at her attendance sheet. "…oh, I have Kevin first period! Hee, hee, hee!"
Carrie continues skipping merrily down the sidewalk, unaware that someone is watching her from an upcoming alleyway rather closely. Suddenly, a girl about sixteen of age, jumps in front of Carrie. She has a gray skirt on and a shirt that has a picture of a smiley face with devil horns and its tongue sticking out. She has short, black hair and piercing black eyes.
"Hey, Blondie!" She says. Carrie extends her hand to greet this new person.
"Hi, my name is Carrie, um, I think? Since when did I change my name to Blondie?"
"Um, never mind. Listen, I have something here that might interest you…" The strange girl reaches into her pockets and pulls out a fancy wristwatch. "See this? This is the future of watches! It has a built-in laser light, stopwatch, tells the time of over fifty countries including here, it can call people, and I could keep going, but the only way you see all of this product's amazing features is for you to try it out yourself! So, how about it, Goldilocks?" She puts the watch on Carrie's wrist. Carrie stares at the watch in confusion.
"But what if it bites me?" Carrie says. "I once had this thing that takes pictures and stores them on a computer, but when I tried to use it, it made weird noises and then it bit me."
"You're not that bright, are ya Goldilocks? Tell ya what. I'll sell it to ya for, oh, fifty bucks sounds reasonable. Note that this watch isn't scheduled to be released until 2010!"
"No, thanks. I'm not so good with techno-techno-um, electric thingies!"
"Hey, who are you?" May asks the girl.
"What's it to ya, Rag-head!" She answers. "Who's your friends? Oh, lemme guess: Pinky, Sockhead, Flathead, and Fuzz-head! Hey, Fuzz-head! What's that on your forehead, a caterpillar?" Ed stares at her in confusion. "And don't get me started on you, Pinky! Uh, wake-up call! The seventeenth century ended two-hundred years ago!" This comment outrages Dorothy.
"Huh? Why you little…"
"And what about you, Blondie, is there anything inside that head of yours besides air." The rude teenage girl knocks on Carrie's head and the inside of her head echoes. "Yeah, I though so…" Carrie laughs. "And where do you think you're goin' Flathead?"
"Uh, duh! I'm going to school!" Eddy retorts bitterly.
"School's for losers! I only go if I'm bored! But anyway, how about I interest you in this fine watch?" Eddy gazes at the watch.
"Sweet! How much?"
"Fifty bucks, take it or leave it!"
"WHAT!!?? I'M NOT PAYING THAT MUCH FOR A STUPID WATCH!!!!!!"
"Fine, twenty-five, but that's as low as I go!" Eddy quickly pays her and she hands Eddy the amazing watch. "I'm only doing this because I like ya!" She winks at Eddy. "Later, dorks! I think I'll actually go to class today! I could use a good laugh." She disappears over the fence and takes off as fast as she can. Eddy tries to turn his watch on, but it shatters into thousands of pieces.
"MY WATCH!!!!!! IT'S RUINED!!!!!!!!" The greedy Ed-boy screams in horror.
May examines the pieces and says, "Hey, all of these pieces are defective!" Eddy screams in anger and humiliation.
"So, Eddy, what's it feel like being on the other end of a scam?" Dorothy asks jokingly. Eddy's so mad his eyes are welling up.
"Let's head to class, Eddy. That girl is long gone by now." Double D comforts his friend.
Despite the fact that they were the last people to enter the school building, the Eds and the girls get actually get to school with twenty minutes to spare. Standing at the attendance office are many new students receiving their class schedules. Ed and Carrie can't believe their eyes! Among the students are Bowser Jr., Sonic, and Tails!!!! Carrie is also excited for all the new students. She runs off into the crowd and greets everyone she can. However, not all the faces are that new. Propped against the lockers next to the attendance office is that girl they met. She's got a sack full of jawbreakers and is happily slurping on one right now.
"Miss Naomi, GET YOUR BUTT IN THE ATTENDANCE OFFICE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!" The intercom blares. The girl, or Naomi as everyone now knows her as, throws her sack of jawbreakers over her shoulder and makes her way to the attendance office. May and Dorothy go to their classrooms.
"She-she used the money to buy jawbreakers!!!" Eddy stammers, too surprised to speak.
"Let it go, Eddy. We better get to our classes," Double D says. Double D leaves the group, thinking that they're following him.
"Let's see what classes you have, Carrie!" Ed says, looking at Carrie's schedule. It reads:
First period-Baron von Ghoulish-Math
Second period-May-Science
Third period-Hoss Delgado-P.E.
Fourth period-Dorothy-Language Arts
Lunch/Free period
Fifth period-Butts Galore-Art
Sixth period-Grim-History
"Cool! I have all those classes!!!" Ed says. Double D returns with a guy wearing a red t-shirt and green pants.
"Guys, this is Reck, a new student."
"Um, hi!" Reck says shyly. Eddy tries to keep himself from laughing.
"Reck? What kind of name is that!?"
"Eddy, be nice!" While Double D scolds his short friend, Carrie suddenly pops up in Reck's face.
"Hi, my name is Carrie, and it's nice to meet you!!!"
"Carrie, please! Aren't you being a little overzealous with your greetings?"
"I don't know what that word means, President Lincoln!" Reck gives Carrie a confused look.
"Anyway, Reck, these are my friends, Eddy, Ed, and Ed's girlfriend, Carrie."
"Hey, you guys all have the same name! That's really cool!"
"What about me?" Carrie asks, as full of energy as she was five seconds ago.
"Um, your name doesn't have E-D in it like these guys do, so your name doesn't count." Reck says in a polite tone.
"Oh, well in that case, I'm going to go say hi to Sonic!!!" Carrie runs off.
"Is she always like that?"
"Yeah, ain't she awesome?" Eddy says.
"Eddy, your grammar can be annoying at times!" A vein pops up on Eddy's forehead.
"I think we better get to class. I have Math!"
"That's good! We all have math first period as well, and so does Carrie. Ed, please go get her and make sure she isn't late for class." Ed salutes Double D and runs off into the crowded hallways.
The Eds make their way to class, the only ones happy about math are Double D, Reck, and Carrie. Double D and Reck are happy because for them, math is easy and Carrie is happy because, well, she's Carrie. The late bell rings and the classroom is filled with chatter of what everyone did over fall break. The room falls silent when the teacher walks in. He's a blue-skinned vampire wearing sixteenth-century English-style nobleman's clothing. He sprays the air around his desk with air sanitizer and sits down with a smile.
"Good day, ladies and gentlemen! I hope you all had a splendid time during your long vacation from school last week, but now we're back in school, so please mind your manners and don't throw messy spit wads at each other like filthy, uncivilized simians! We're here to learn about math, not about how to make a mess." Carrie's hand goes up. "Yes, Miss Carrie, do you have a question?"
"Yes, mister vampire teacher!"
"Well, don't be shy. Ask away! There are no stupid questions!"
"Okay! What's this math stuff you're talking about? Does it have anything to do with ham?" Baron von Ghoulish falls out of his seat and everyone laughs at Carrie.
"Um, Ed, why is everyone laughing?" Carrie asks Ed, who is sitting next to her.
"I don't know. I guess it's just in the timing."
"Oh, okay! So people only laugh when it's time to laugh here. That's weird…"
Meanwhile, in Dorothy's classroom, Dorothy runs in, extremely late.
"Um, sorry I'm late! Since your other teacher is unable to be here, I will be your substitute teacher." Dorothy turns around and starts writing her name on the blackboard. She was about to write the "T" in her name when something cold and wet hits her in the back of the head. She feels of her hair and she digs out some sort of slimy, pulpy stuff. A vein pops up on her head and she turns around. All of her students are sitting in their seats snickering and Kevin is laughing like a madman, holding a straw in his hand.
"KEVIN!!!!!!! Hand that to me!!!" Kevin sadly walks up to Dorothy, and when she bends over to take the straw, Kevin nails the pink-haired witch right in the face with a spitball. The entire class roars with laughter. "THAT'S IT!!!!!!" Dorothy snatches Kevin's straw and shoves it in his ear. "Now go to the back of the room and don't say anything until the bell rings!" Kevin marches to the back of the room and plops down in his seat.
For the Eds, the next class, which is science, is relatively uneventful, but everyone except for Double D is excited about the next class, which is P.E.
"Hey, mister metal-handed guy," Carrie says, trying to catch the attention of Hoss Delgado, the red-haired muscular spectral exterminator who is now the P.E. teacher.
"What do you want? I'm tired of signing autographs for you and your smelly pet, so get lost!"
"I was just going to ask you what P.E. stood for. Does it stand for pasta with Eggo waffles? Do we get to eat pasta and Eggo waffles in this class because I really like to eat pasta with Eggo waffles!!!"
"No! P.E. stands for, um, never mind! This class is for building muscles out of these puny stick things you call arms!" Hoss lifts Carrie's arm up in the air and drops it. "Now give me five laps, all of you!" Everyone begins running around the gym but Carrie, who starts licking Hoss's hand. "Let me put this in a way you'd understand. RUN AROUND THE GYM FIVE TIMES!!!!!!!!!"
"Double D, there's something seriously wrong with that Carrie girl!"
Next is Language Arts, and Dorothy's chance to get back at Eddy. Eddy is sitting in the desk closest to Dorothy's and she's glaring down on him with an evil smile on her face. Eddy glares back at her.
"Hey, you's ain't old enough to teach!!!" A talking chicken sitting behind Eddy says. "You're just a kid like us!!!"
"Shut up, Chicken!"
"Hey, you're not allowed to say that!" Tails, an orange dual-tailed fox sitting in the back row says. Dorothy ignores him.
"So, this is fourth period. Let me see what you're supposed to do…" Dorothy fumbles through some files and pulls out some worksheets. "These are due at the end of class today, so if I catch any of you goofing off, you'll regret it!!!"
"Yes, Miss Dorothy!" The class answers. Dorothy hands the worksheets. A paragraph on the top reads: "Write a short story or draw a picture depicting how you see yourself in the future. Stories must be at least 150-200 words long and I would like pictures to have color to them. THIS IS DUE AT THE END OF CLASS!!!!!!!" Ed slides his paper underneath a Shonen Jump magazine and opens it up. He laughs a little but is interrupted by a book hitting him in the head. He looks up and staring down at him is Dorothy.
"Ed, you're supposed to be doing your assignment, not reading comics!" She confiscates his magazine with a fake smile and sits at her desk.
Irwin, an African American kid with glasses and a yellow shirt leans over to Double D.
"The substitute teacher is a babe, yo! Ya think I'd have a good shot at her?" Unable to decipher Irwin's lingo, Double D sinks into his seat.
"I wonder what Ed sees in these comics? I guess there's only one way to find out…" Dorothy opens Ed's magazine and begins reading. Tails gets up out of his seat and walks up to Dorothy's desk.
"Um, excuse me ma'am, but I'm having a little trouble thinking of something to write about. Could you help me?" Dorothy reads the paper and her face turns to stone.
"Oh, crap! I don't know anything about this! I barely know anything about Language Arts!!!" Dorothy thinks frantically, a large sweat drop forming on her face. "Um, read your book!"
"But Miss Dorothy, I…"
"Uh, I'm kind of busy, so run along, little fox-thing! I'm, um, very busy!"
Minutes later, a kid that looks like a turtle with a spiky shell pokes Eddy in the arm. This punk is Bowser Jr. "Hey, kid! Watch this!" He pulls out some weird paintbrush and paints Dorothy. The painting jumps off the ground, walks up to Dorothy, and slaps her. The class laughs and Bowser Jr. puts the brush on Eddy's desk.
"EDDY!!!!!!! TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!!!!!!!!"
"But, I didn't do anything! It was that Bowser kid!"
"I don't care about that!" She picks up Eddy's drawing, which depicts Eddy as some mob boss that's operating a crane that's about to drop Dorothy, who has her feet planted in a cement-filled tub, in the creek. The picture is poorly drawn.
"But…"
"I don't want to hear it! First you make fun of the assignment and then you create some weird painting that attacks people!" Dorothy throws some water on the fake Dorothy, who's been mimicking her every move the whole time, and it washes away. "Now get out of my classroom!!!"
Minutes later, Dorothy collects the papers. "I wonder what Double D put down…" She reads Double D's paper, and to her horror, it doesn't say anything about her. "Um, maybe he hasn't fully decided what he's doing in the future! Yeah… Now let's see what Carrie put…" Dorothy finds Carrie's picture. In it, Carrie is depicted as a giant robot that is destroying New York City. Behind it is Irwin's which depicts him as a bodybuilder and as Dorothy's wife. Dorothy sweat drops and drops the papers. "Maybe I should let the other teacher grade these…"
Suddenly, an announcement blares over the intercom. "Attention students! I just wanted to remind you of the return of our hour-long lunch program. The last time we tried this, you all left food in the hallways and school property was destroyed. If everyone cooperates, this will go smoothly. To solve this problem, we've created various activities for you to do, such as track club, a foreign language club, a gardening club, a girl's lunch club, and a, um, no-pants club. So sign up for a club today! Thank you and enjoy your lunch!" The bell rings and everyone stampedes out of the classroom. Dorothy hangs a sign outside that reads, "GIRL'S LUNCH CLUB".
The Eds go to the cafeteria to get their lunch. The original cul-de-sac kids are all there (minus the Kankers) and they're gathered around Kevin, who has just dumped a bunch of shredded paper into his hat.
"Hey, they're drawing names to see who gets to host this year's Halloween shindig! If I hosted it, it would be the biggest thing since cartoons!"
"Okay, we all know the rules of our drawing. Just to clarify, the only names in this hat are the names of people who have lived in Peach Creek for a year. Also, if anyone isn't present to accept the responsibilities given to them by this drawing, they would be disqualified. Are we clear?" Everyone nods in approval as Kevin shakes the names up. Kevin reaches in and pulls out a small strip of paper. "Carrie will host this year's Halloween party! Um, hey dorks, where's Carrie?" Eddy and Double D shrug and Ed just smiles at Kevin and waves in a friendly manner. "Okay, so Carrie can't host the party, because she's not here, so the real person who's hosting the Halloween party is…DORKY!?" Eddy jumps up in the air and shouts.
"OH, YEAH!!!!!!!! THIS IS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! I'd like to thank me on behalf of this honor." Eddy wipes a tear from his eye. "You don't know how much joy I've brought to myself."
"Hey, um, Double D, we're good friends, right?" Reck asks.
"Yeah, Reck. What's wrong?"
"I need to talk to you alone." Double D and Reck walk into the empty hallway. "After talking to you, I'm confident that you can keep my secret."
"Of course, Reck! That's what friends are for! I keep secrets for all my…" Double D gasps in horror as Reck transforms into a short, gray, bug-eyed alien.
"I bet you're surprised!"
"Well, not really. Most of my friends are from different planets, like Miss Dorothy. She comes from a parallel world called Mar."
"So, my secret is safe with you?"
"Yeah, but if I were you, I'd keep this from Ed and Eddy…" Suddenly, Double D notices Carrie standing behind Reck, her mouth open as wide as it would go. She runs off into the school.
"THAT RECK KID IS AN ALIEN!!!!!!! MAY!!!!! MAY!!!!!!"
"Well, I guess I'd better erase her memory." Reck pulls out a gun.
"Um, you're not planning on hurting Carrie, are you!?"
"Of course not! My family came to Earth to live peacefully and we would never harm a human unless that human was evil. This gun just erases memories."
"Even so, I don't think that will be necessary. Carrie tends to forget things easily."
Carrie runs in front of the gym where May is walking back to her classroom.
"May!!! That Reck kid is an alien!!! I saw it with my own eyes! He's from another planet and he wants to steal all of our meat by-products!!!!!!"
"Carrie, this is almost more ridiculous than that time you said that Hulk Hogan was living inside your ear!"
"Oh…what were we talking about?"
"Just try to keep out of trouble, Carrie!"
"Okay! I'm going to try out for track club!" Carrie walks inside the gym.
"I wish I didn't have to worry about her constantly…" May says as she walks back to the science room.
"All right maggots!!! If you want to be on the track club, you have to show me what you got! Now line up along this line!" Carrie, Sonic the hedgehog, the Kanker sisters, and Jimmy stand on the line. Sitting on the bleachers are the Eds, Reck, Dorothy, and Sarah.
"Oh, yeah! I get to watch Carrie run!" Eddy says, his eyes shaped like hearts.
Dorothy slaps Eddy in the back of the head and yells, "GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, EDDY!!!!!" Eddy falls down the bleachers.
"I'm going to beat all of you and win that pie!!!" May Kanker says.
"There's no pie, stupid!" Marie snaps.
"Shut up!"
"Don't tell me to shut up!"
"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!!!" Lee Kanker yells. Suddenly the three sisters start beating the snot out of each other. Hoss fires a gun and a white flag that says "BANG!!!" pops out of the barrel. Sonic dominates with his super speed and is at the finish line just as Jimmy takes his first step across the line. The Kankers are still fighting and Carrie has run off in the opposite direction.
"Okay, so the only ones who qualify for track are the spiky weasel and that weird kid."
"I'm a hedgehog!!!" Sonic says angrily.
"Did I win?" Carrie asks.
"No, you went in a totally different direction and lost." Hoss says.
"That's okay, Carrie. You can join the girl's lunch club." Dorothy says, trying to make Carrie feel better.
"Really? What do I get to do? Does it involve that blue weasel and golden rings?"
"I'M A HEDGEHOG!!!!!!" Sonic yells.
"No, but we get to eat outside and talk."
"That's about like a bunch of girls," Eddy mumbles.
Later, after the bell rings for fifth period, Double D and Reck go to their class with Carrie, which is Art. A pantsless red man rolls into the classroom.
"Well, hellooooooooo!!!! I'm your art teacher, BUTTS GALORE!!!!!! The first rule of my class is PANTS ARE ONLY MANDATORY" Irwin pulls his pants off and starts running around the room in his boxers. Double D starts pounding his head against the desk and Reck puts his hand on Double D's shoulder.
"I know how you feel man, I know how you feel."
"Ha! Ha! You're funny!" Nazz says.
"Sir, I take that as an insult! NOW MARCH YOUR BUTT TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!!!!"
"But I'm a girl!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry! Did that hurt your feelings?" The red guy asks sarcastically, his lip stuck out. "WELL TOO BAD!!!!!! Now, GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM!!!!!!!"
After the shock of a pantsless art teacher and the Grim Reaper for a history teacher, the bell rings to go home.
"That Halloween party's gonna be sweet, Double D! I'll play some disco tunes, put out some snacks, and I might even score a kiss with a lovely lady." Eddy winks at Carrie, who doesn't notice him because of her tiny attention span, which has her focused on the flies buzzing around Ed. May punches Eddy in the face.
"I don't think so!" May growls.
"Not everyone likes disco, Eddy. I hear that Sonic kid's a great DJ! Or maybe you could get Johnny or Kevin to play some music."
"Well, we'll think about it when we get to my house, Double D."
"Um, I can't go, Eddy. Remember when I went to the bathroom during lunch? Well, I decided to go into May's classroom and I bugged her to take me and Carrie to the zoo, and so I can't come over to help with, um, whatever it is you're doing!"
"Traitor!" Eddy shouts.
"So, that punk's planning a party? I think I might trash it…" Naomi says while hiding behind a wooden fence.
"What!? I wanted to DJ that party! I don't think Sonic, Johnny, or Kevin is fit for that title!! I will destroy that party!!!" Bowser Jr. crawls out of a trash can and walks away.
Meanwhile, in the Park 'n' Flush trailer park…
"I call the remote!!!" Marie pounces on the couch and snatches the remote control from between the cushions. "We're watching wrestling!!!"
"No!!! I want to watch infomercials!!!" May Kanker screeches. She grabs the remote out of Marie's hand and turns the channel.
"We're watching pay-per-view!!!!" Lee says. Finally the sisters agree and settle down on the couch with popcorn.
"Hey, ain't those kids havin' some sort of party this Halloween?"
"Yeah, and they never invite us!!!!" Marie stamps her foot on the ground in anger.
"If I went, I'd ask Big Ed if he'd dump that Carrie girl and if he did, I'd give him a jawbreaker and a big wet one right on the lips!"
"Shut up, May!" Lee dumps the bowl of popcorn on May's head.
"I say we burn that party to the ground!" Marie says.
"Yeah! That'll teach them not to invite us to stuff!!!!" The Kankers laugh evilly as they plot to crush the Eds' Halloween party.