By Hagane
-o0o-
Sometimes, you need a wake-up call before you come to your senses.
But sometimes, you need more than that. Sometimes, you're already awake.
"Sanzo!"
"Sanzo, behind you!"
"Oi bouzo!"
A slice, a sudden swift movement and there stood the cocky redhead, smirking down at him.
"You gotta keep your eyes open ya know. 'Coz I won't always be there to save your ass." He drawled.
"Che." Sanzo glared in return. He turned away.
"Sanzo, daijoubu?" Hakkai had rushed over, blasting away several demons with his chi.
The blonde nodded. The world was spinning. He could barely stand his ground. But there was no way in hell he'd let them know.
"Goku!" Hakkai cried out in warning, as more demons appeared, to replace those killed.
"Che. Damn monkey can't even handle a fight on his own. Hakkai…." Burning red eyes met calm green ones. "get the bouzo away."
And he leapt right into the middle of the tempest.
Hakkai turned to the bleeding monk. "Sanzo you're hurt."
Violet eyes glared at him contemptuously. "I'm fine."
"Sanzo…."
A tree came crashing down somewhere nearby.
"Hakkai!" came Gojyo's warning cry.
"Sumimaseng!" he called out in reply. "Come on Sanzo, I've got to get you to safety." He took hold of the other's arm and held it firmly. Sanzo's glare intensified and he tried to pull his arm away.
"Sanzo, please." Hakkai's eyes were pleading, "Now is NOT the time to be stubborn."
Eyes sparkling in fury, he regarded the brunette indignantly. His gaze was met straight on. The other did not turn away. Sighing resignedly to himself, Sanzo allowed himself to be led away.
"Gojyo! On your left!" Goku yelled, while striking a youkai down with his Nyoibo and kicking another at the same time.
"Shut up baka saru! You've got more after your hide than I do!" came the slightly disgruntled reply.
"What's that supposed to mean?!!!!" Another swipe, and two more demons were extinguished.
"Go figure!"
"Stupid ero kappa!"
"Look who's talking!"
"Me?" was the confused reply.
Gojyo sniggered as he sliced his Shakujo through several trees to kill the demon creeping up behind Goku.
"I could have killed him myself!"
"Sure."
"Stupid ero kappa!"
"Shut up and fight baka saru!"
"Kappa!"
"Baka saru!"
"KAPPA!"
"Baka saru!"
"Kap-where's Sanzo? And Hakkai?"
"Baka sa- huh?" Gojyo blinked at the abrupt shift in topic. "He went to take Sanzo someplace safe."
"Why? Is he hurt?"
"Something like that."
"Oh."
'Something like that, huh?' he thought, a slight smile playing on his lips.
"Sanzo, daijoubu?" Over a cloudy haze, Sanzo could just make out Hakkai's face creased with worry.
"Uhh." He nodded, wincing slightly as his world threatened to swirl.
"Where does it hurt?"
"I'm fine."
"Sanzo…."
Sanzo tried his best to glare, but only succeeded in burning a hole through his own head. Everything hurt.
"Sanzo…" Hakkai's quite voice repeated, "Where does it hurt?"
"I…." Sanzo tried to focus but his mind was getting hazy and it hurt to think. It hurt to do anything. "..I don't know."
"That should be the last of them!" announced Gojyo as he slashed the last remaining youkai through his midsection.
"That's all?" the boy's voice held a trace of disappointment.
"What, you didn't have enough?"
"Uhh…"
"Baka saru. Let's go."
"To find Sanzo?"
"Yeah."
Hakkai stared at the pale form before him. He felt useless, helpless, worthless. The man was obviously in pain and there was nothing he could do. "Sanzo, gomenasai…" he whispered, taking hold of one delicate hand gently. The skin was hot, burning intensely, but he held it still. To feel the pain, no matter how little…….it was the least he could do as he waited for the others to come.
"Hakkai!" Goku's bright, chirpy voice cut through the silence.
Hakkai looked up, startled. "Goku?"
"Hakkai, you're all right! What…." His voice trailed and he continued, his voice softer this time, "what happened to Sanzo?"
Hakkai glanced at the man he was almost cradling. The face was blank, peaceful even, but the skin was still burning hot. His heartbeat was irregular, as was his breathing.
"Sanzo, he's…..he's….."
"Sleeping right? Sanzo's sleeping 'cos he's tired. Ne, Hakkai?" Goku cocked his head to one side charmingly.
Hakkai felt the empty smile light up his features again. He didn't want to lie to the child. He didn't want to give him false hope.
"Yes Goku. Sanzo's just tired, that's all."
"Gojyo," Hakkai whispered as the man appeared later, his hair glistening wet in the moonlight.
"How's the bouzo?" was the equally soft reply.
"He's…." Sanzo stirred slightly in his arms, "he's hurt."
"Have you healed him?"
"I….no…I don't know how to." Hakkai looked down, pointedly avoiding his eyes.
"Why not? Haven't you always been able to….well, heal him?"
"Iya….not this time.." the brunette felt his chest constrict as he was forced to voice his helplessness. It made the reality of it even more painful.
"Why….why the hell not?" Gojyo's voice was confused, bewildered, and slightly worried.
"He can't tell me for certain, where it hurts."
Hakkai glanced at the sleeping young Goku.
"Gojyo…."
The other glanced up at him.
"You aren't sleeping?" Hakkai asked him gently.
"With the baka saru snoring like that, who can?"
"Well…usually you don't complain."
"You're forgetting it's not a usual circumstance here."
"True." Hakkai glanced down at the blonde. "Sanzo……"
Gojyo shifted slightly. "Hakkai….do you… do you.. want me to take care of him awhile?" He quickly tried to explain himself as the other gazed at him questioningly. "I mean… you haven't cleaned yourself up from all the blood…."
Hakkai glanced down in surprise, noticing the dirty state he was in for the first time. "So I haven't…." he said, almost in wonder.
Gojyo managed a wry smile. "So, do you want me to take care of the bouzo while you clean yourself up?"
"It's, it's all right. I think…I think Sanzo's more important than cleaning up." And the way it seemed to Gojyo, he gathered Sanzo to himself almost jealously.
'Where the fuck am I?' Sanzo demanded angrily. Everything around him was pitch black. 'I can't see a damn thing!'
'Konzen…..'
Sanzo froze at the voice.
'Konzen…..'
'Who the hell are you?' he yelled into the darkness.
His question was met with silence. Sanzo cursed angrily.
'Konzen….'
That voice again. It was definitely pissing him off.
'Do you want to know who you are?'
Sanzo snorted in derision. 'I know who I am. I asked who the fuck are you?"
'Who are you?'
'That's what I asked asshole.'
A soft chuckle, then, 'You never change Konzen.'
'My name's Sanzo. Get that into your stupid head at least.'
'Well, Sanzo…..who ARE you?'
She giggled girlishly as she watched him slowly tense up. He had always been fun to tease, and now was no exception.
"Kanzeon Bosatsu…. Are you sure about this? We aren't allowed to interfere in these matters are we?" Jiroshin asked worriedly.
"Oh, loosen up a little." Her eyes twinkled mischievously. "I'm the Goddess of Mercy. I can do what I like."
In her mind, she could just make out a certain blonde's reply, 'Don't praise yourself just because nobody wants to.'
And she chuckled at the memory.
Gojyo watched as Hakkai stroked Sanzo's soft silky hair tenderly. He watched the soft, tender expression on his face as he held the blonde in his arms. He noticed the way his beautiful green eyes lit up when he thought Sanzo was going to wake, and noted how it burned with sadness when he realized it wasn't going to happen. Gojyo watched everything.
"Hakkai……" the brunette didn't hear him. "Hakkai…." He repeated, louder this time.
"Do you think he's okay?" he asked softly.
Gojyo shook his head. "I…..don't know."
'I told you, I'm Sanzo. Bastard.' He spat angrily.
'But who ARE you, Sanzo?'
'I am……I am…..' Sanzo fumbled for an answer, 'I am me….and that's enough.'
'Enough? Enough for whom?'
'For myself.'
'What about the others?'
'Why the hell would I care what they think?'
'Don't you?'
'I don't.'
Silence.
'Do you want to know, Sanzo?'
'I know enough to know you're a bastard.'
A chuckle.
'I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Konzen, you'll never change.'
'Fuck you. I told you my name is Sanzo.'
'Sanzo….Konzen…. what's the difference? They're just names.'
'Bastard, asshole…they're all yours.'
Another chuckle.
'You're a lively one, Konzen.'
'Sanzo.'
'Konzen.'
'Sanzo, asshole.'
'Konzen Douji…..'
Sanzo snorted. 'I should have realized that stupid people will never learn.'
'And you will?'
'None of your goddamn business.'
'Funny, hearing you condemn your own kind.'
Sanzo cursed. 'What the FUCK are you talking about?'
Sanzo coughed.
Hakkai's eyes went wide and he shook the man gently. "Sanzo?"
Gojyo snapped to attention. He had been twirling a twig idly as he watched the blonde.
"Sanzo?" Hakkai's voice sounded so hopeful.
The man coughed again, his entire body shaking with the force of it. Hakkai held him tight.
Slowly, those eyelids opened….. and violet irises peered out from behind.
"Sanzo!" Hakkai exclaimed. "You're finally awake!"
A coughing fit. And he tried to sit up by himself.
"Oi…bouzo…." Gojyo ventured.
Violet eyes met crimson ones.
"You okay?"
No reply.
And, noticed Gojyo, did Sanzo just flinch?