Groot, the Juke Box, and That Loving Feeling
Some things might be better left on a planet far, far away
"You know, one of the things I find most puzzling about this galaxy is that you haven't got any music," said Peter, as the five of them sat in a bar called Jackkirby on a space station called Space Station.
"The Terran music you play on Ship is mainly for small children," said Drax. "Judging from the number of times that 'baby' is said."
"That's a term of endearment," said Peter.
"What is a term of endearment?" said Drax.
"It's ... complicated," said Peter. "So I assume that your people don't sing, Drax."
"No, but we have music," said Drax. "We make it by banging things together."
"Their heads, probably," muttered Rocket.
"Hmm," said Peter. "In any case, I don't play music in Ship much."
"Well, someone does," said Drax. "I hear it going all night, sometimes."
Gamora shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Peter glanced at her.
"I remember hearing a song in Thanos' Sanctuary," said Gamora, changing the subject. "It was a song that celebrated deaths in battle."
"Really?" said Peter. "How did it go? Can you sing it?"
"Is this a place we really want to visit?" said Rocket.
Gamora cleared her throat.
"I am Groot," said Groot.
"No, it won't end well," said Rocket.
Gamora began to chant: "Aww aww aww aww awww zaww aww aww ohhh ohhh awww oh aww aww awww awwww zaww oh awww – "
"Okay, we've got the picture, you can stop now," said Peter.
" – aww aww aww zaww awww zaww aww maww bahhh bahhh bawww oh aww aww awww awwww zaww oh zawww aww aww aww awwer mahhh ohhh – "
Rocket pulled his gun out.
"There's no need to shoot her," said Peter. "Probably."
"It's for me," said Rocket.
Thankfully, Gamora stopped. "It goes on like that for a while. Another 137 verses, in fact," she said.
"Like I said, this galaxy does not have any music," said Peter.
"I believe I agree," said Gamora.
A purple-skinned woman came up to them. "I'm Leto, and I own the place," she said. "And I can tell you that if you want to sing Thanonian death chants, sister, take it outside. A long way outside. Next system, preferably."
"I was merely demonstrating to my friends," said Gamora. "And I am not your sister. But I have a sister. She tried to kill me, last time we met."
"Not surprising, if you were singing," said Leto.
"Hey, you know what this bar needs?" said Peter. "A juke box."
"A what?" said Leto.
So Peter explained the concept of Earth-style juke boxes. Records. Buttons. Coins.
"Huh," said Leto. "Well, there's a bunch of Ravagers that come in here, they owe me some money for their drinks. I think they drop in on Terra pretty often. I'll tell them to pick one up for me on their next run."
"I am Groot," said Groot.
"Yeah," agreed Rocket. "I've got the same feeling."
It was several weeks later. After addressing a number of random galactic threats, the Guardians once more entered Jackkirby bar. It was crowded. Leto came up to them.
"Looks like you're doing pretty well," said Peter to her. "Hey, I see you've got a juke box!"
"Yeah, it's been bringing in the customers but it's not without its downside," said Leto.
Peter went to inspect the music selection while the others sat down at a table and Leto took their drink orders.
"What is the downside of the juke box?" said Gamora to Leto.
"Most of the songs on it help to sell drinks," said Leto. "But a few are, well, downright dangerous."
Gamora was watching Peter make a selection. He came back to the others while it started.
"What ones are dangerous?" said Gamora.
There was a clash of cymbals and a budda-budda-budda rhythm.
"Get your motor running, head out on the highway – "
"Unfortunately, that one in particular," said Leto.
"But it's great!" said Peter. "Born to be Wild, Steppenwolf."
"Not so great if you're running a bar," said Leto.
The crowd in the bar seemed to have become a bit more raucous.
"I like smoke and lightning," sang the voice. "Heavy metal thunder – "
"Any moment now," said Leto.
Someone pushed someone. The pushee pushed back. The person he pushed was sent into someone else. Who punched the guy. Who punched back. And then punched the other guy. The friend of one of the guys punched the friend of one of the other guys.
"Told you," said Leto.
"Fire all of your guns at once, explode into space – "
"What a peculiar song," said Gemora. She looked at the spreading violence. "Bar fights," she muttered. "So uncivilised."
"Heh," said Rocket. "You're entirely right, greenie. Heh."
A body came flying out of the ruck and crashed onto the table. Everyone managed to save their drinks – except Drax.
"Hey!" said Drax. "That was ... uncalled for!"
He picked up the person and threw him back. Then he waded into the brawl.
"We were born, born to be wild – "
The others watched Drax. "Not actually sure he's helping," said Rocket. "But it's fun to watch."
The music began to fade away but the fight showed no sign of doing likewise.
"Well," said Gomora, "it isn't a galactic crisis but I guess we should break it up. Since we are responsible. By which I mean that Peter is."
"That is unfair!" said Peter. "In part."
"When you say 'break it up', you mean rendering a lot of people unconscious, right?" said Rocket.
"I suppose so," said Gamora.
"Okay, just checking," said Rocket. "Hey, what's Groot doing?"
Groot was at the juke box, looking at the list of songs. He pushed some buttons.
There was a deep, mellow voice.
"You never close your eyes, anymore, when I kiss your lips – "
The fight seemed to slow down a bit.
"You're trying hard not to show it baby but baby, baby I know it, you've lost that loving feeling – "
Bit more.
"We had a love, a love you don't find every day – "
People starting going back to their drinks, and righting chairs. Someone appeared to be buying Drax a beer.
"Bring back that loving feeling – "
"Oh my," said Gemora. "That song is very ... interesting."
"Problem solved," said Rocket. "I'm not saying that that's a good thing or a bad thing."
"I'll have to remember that one," said Leto.
Groot came over to them.
"How did you know how to do that?" said Rocket.
"I am Groot," said Groot.
"Oh, right, yeah, of course," said Rocket.
The song ended. But the tune was still coming from ... somewhere. It was Gamora, humming. She saw them looking at her and stopped.
"I wasn't doing what you think I was doing, whatever that was," she said.
"Sister," said Leto, "I think you need a drink. A strong one."
Gamora sighed. "Yes," she said. "I think I do."
END