Title: Fear is the Color You've All Exposed
Pairing: Luke/Becky, with some Tim/Becky friendship mixed in there.
Disclaimer: I don' t own Friday Night Lights or the characters in this story.
"…I think this is me."
Luke Cafferty stood up from the wooden bench at the Dillon Bus Stop and grabbed his duffel bag from the floor, slipping onto his shoulder. The Greyhound bus slowed to a stop a couple feet away from them and the doors opened. A couple of people exited while others entered, some being welcomed into the arms of loved ones they hadn't seen in however long with huge grins and others crying as they said their goodbyes. And then there was Luke and Becky: a newly reconciled couple with two conflicting emotions about the situation at hand.
Becky got up from the bench and dusted off the back of her dress lightly before looking up at Luke. She had been fairly quiet on the ride over and especially the mere seconds before as they waited for the bus. Still, she forced a small smile as she stared up at her boyfriend who was clad in camouflage attire.
"Do you have everything?"
She felt her voice crack and she immediately looked down, her hands resting at her temples. "Crap." She whispered while shaking her head lightly. She looked back up at him. "I'm not gonna cry. I promise."
He set his bag down and cupped her face into his hands. "I love you." He said simply.
A smile formed on her lips as her eyes started to well up. "I love you too."
Eight months ago.
Becky walked out of her bedroom to see her mom peeking out the window, sitting on the arm of the sofa. She made a small face. "Mom, what are you doing?" She raised her eyebrows and walked into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a milk carton.
"Luke has been sitting outside for ten minutes." Cheryl said, her eyes not moving from her spot at the window.
Becky grabbed a bowl and a box of Cheerios, opening the box to find out that it was empty along with the carton. She sighed and went over to the trash, dumping them both into it. "I know." She put the bowl back and walked past her mom towards the door, grabbing her purse. "We're out of cereal by the way. And milk."
Cheryl looked away from the window finally. "Sorry, I was planning on making a stop at the store anyways. Is that his car?" Her eyes travelled back towards the window as she ran a hand through her red hair.
"Yes and I have to go. I'll be back before dinner, love you!" Becky called out as she slammed the door behind her. She had been avoiding having the are-you-really-dating-the-guy-who-knocked-you-up talk with her mom ever since Luke showed up at their house with a teddy bear and flowers, declaring his love for her three weeks ago. Her mom would never understand how much he meant to her.
Luke smiled as she approached, leaning away from his car. Her smile widened as she started to run towards him, her cowboy boots kicking up dirt. Once she got close, she slowed down and enveloped him into a hug. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck and let out a breath.
"Good morning." He whispered, playing with the end of one of her many curls.
She smiled again and moved her head from his neck to look at him. "Good morning." She replied, leaning up and giving him a kiss.
When they pulled away, his eyes wandered over behind her towards the house. Uneasiness spread across his face. "Your mom…keeps staring at me from the window. D-Did you talk to her about us?" He asked, slight hesitation and that classic awkwardness strong in his voice as usual. It had become something she had grown to love.
She shook her head. "No, and I don't plan on it anytime soon. Let's go." She opened the passenger door to his truck and climbed in, brushing away some flyaway curls from her face as she put her seatbelt on. Luke walked around to the driver's side and got in, starting the car and driving off.
…
There was always something so peaceful about lying around in a field, getting lost in the calm of nature for a couple moments. Becky propped herself up on her elbow as her fingers got tangled in piece of grass. She glanced over at Luke, who was lying down next to her. His baseball cap was positioned so that the visor was covering his eyes.
She sighed casually as she flicked the strands of grass away from her. "It's going to be so different next year." She started, keeping her eyes on him although she couldn't see his. "With you away at college, the Lions gone and everything. It's just weird."
When Luke didn't say anything, she made a small face while smiling. "Are you sleeping?" She reached over and moved his baseball cap away from his eyes. He let out a laugh and looked up at her.
"Sorry, I'm just thinking about…stuff."
"Oh yeah? What kind of stuff?" She leaned back down and rested her hand on his chest, her head on the crook of his shoulder. He rested his hand in her hair, stroking her scalp. When he didn't answer her question, she brought up one of her own. "If you could wish for anything in the world right now, what would you wish for?"
A silence fell and she was seconds away from nudging him when she heard him finally spoke. "Becky, I'm thinking about joining the army."
She let out a laugh instinctively. "That's your wish?" Silence. She got up from against him and looked down, confusion spreading across his face. His face was blank. "You're serious? What about football?"
"Let's face it. I was never going to be in the NFL or anything. I'm not Vince. I'm not cut out for it." He broke eye contact, but she was far from finished with the conversation.
"Okay, but you're 'cut out' for the army? Luke, you could die out there." Her voice rose as she realized the complexities of what was happening. It was one thing to have a boyfriend away at college, but to be overseas fighting for his life was a whole other factor.
Luke sat up from the grass and took her hands into his. "I'm not gonna die. Look, I've talked about this with my parents and we made a plan. Everything is going to be fine."
She shook her head. "So that's it? You're just leaving? What about us? I mean, we just got back together and you're already making plans to leave?"
"I meant it when I told you I loved you Becky. I do." Although she tried hard to look away, he held her eyes. "This is just something that I want to do, but that doesn't change how I feel about you." He leaned in and gave her a peck.
She looked down and bit her lip, their hands still held. It was a lot to take in at the moment, but she was trying. "When do you leave?"
"In eight months. Until then, we'll spend every day together I promise." He said certainly. "Well, whenever you're not at school or something…" She smiled as she shook her head, her expression softening. He started to smile himself.
She linked their fingers together. "So, eight months." She repeated, letting it all start to sink in. "I can work with that." She kissed him again.
…
Days and weeks passed and Becky tried to push that inevitable day to the back of her mind. Eight months was a long time. She would almost be a high school graduate and onto college or whatever she was going to do with her life. All she had to do was be patient.
Patience started to wear thin a month later when the Taylor's held a goodbye party before they moved to Philadelphia. It marked the official end of the East Dillon Lions and everyone knew it. While the party was filled with all of the family's closest friends, present, and former students, the atmosphere was bittersweet.
Initially Luke didn't want to go, but after some convincing from Tinker, he changed his mind. "I should see everyone as much as possible before I go." While the words were said in passing, they seemed to stay with her for the rest of the night.
Becky sat on the couch and watched as Luke caught up with Vince across the way. She smiled softly, when Luke laughed at something, and started playing with the cap on her water bottle.
Suddenly, Tim came over and sat down next to her. "Hey Becks." He said softly, taking a sip of his beer. He cast a look over at her and then looked over at Luke. Tim Riggins was never a man of many words, but it was what he didn't say that spoke louder.
Becky sent him a small smile and then looked over at Luke. She looked down at her lap and set her water bottle on it. "Luke's…thinking about joining the army." She said softly, not looking over at Tim.
"He's thinking about it?" He clarified, leaning back against the couch.
"It's not for seven months, but I think he's gonna do it."
Tim downed the rest of his beer and then let out a casual sigh. "And you're okay with this?"
She ran a hand across her makeshift bangs, that were really just curls covering her forehead. It would be so easy to lie to anyone else. Not Tim though. Not after everything they've been through. He truly had become an older brother, as twisted as they seemed after how long it took her to get over him.
She turned a little in her seat so that she was facing him and tried to figure out how to vent without sounding completely selfish. "I was the loneliest person before I met you, Mindy, Billy, even little Stevie…" Tim gave her a lazy smirk, which made her oddly feel more comfortable. "…and then Luke. I love him Tim, I really love him, and if he leaves and something happens to him -"
"He'll be fine." Tim said, interrupting her.
She shook her head. "You don't know that."
"I do. He'll be fine."
…
After her talk with Tim, Becky felt a bit better. She stopped stressing herself out and getting depressed anytime Luke mentioned leaving. Soon enough, school started and she finally had a distraction. Luke picked up a job at the local Dairy Queen just so he had something to do and their time together became less and less throughout the week.
The next few months seemed to fly by after that and soon enough she was in her last month of high school ever and Luke had quit his job and was getting ready to leave. A week before he had to leave, she stopped by his house.
He was stuffing clothes into his duffel bag when she passed by his room. She leaned against his doorway and knocked on the door lightly. "Need some help?"
He looked up and gave her a half smile before taking out two shirts from the bag and placing it on his bed. He adjusted his baseball cap and then nodded. She smirked and entered the room and looked into the duffel bag, letting out a laugh.
"Here, try putting your jeans on the bottom and your shirts on the top." She advised. She started to rearrange his clothes. They stayed like this for a couple minutes before he spoke up.
"I don't want to break up."
She froze and slowly looked up at him. He was just staring at her so contently that she was the one to hesitate this time. "You…you don't?"
He shook his head. "I know it'll be hard, but we've dealt with worse."
"I don't want to break up either." She said, letting out a laugh. "I'm so glad you said that." She leaned over and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into a hug. He held onto her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. Deep in her heart she knew that they were making the right decision, and that was enough for her.
Present
The bus driver called out ten minutes and Becky let out a breath. She had finally stopped crying, but now she felt as though she might start up again. Luke bent down to pick up his bag, but then stopped himself. He stood up straight and pulled off the state ring on his fingers. He held it out to her.
"Luke, no, this is your state ring. You have to keep it." She said, pushing his hand back towards him.
He held it back out to her. "I want you to have it. That way you'll never forget me."
"Impossible."She said, before taking the ring and sliding it onto her finger. He smiled as he stared at it and then finally picked up his duffel bag and hung it over his shoulder. Once it was on, she cupped his face into her hands and gave him a long peck. Into the kiss she felt the tears forming again and when they parted, she was indeed crying.
"See you at Christmas." He said simply before turning and heading towards the bus. Before stepping on, he turned to look back at her and smiled. She held a hand up to her chest and smiled back at him. He took a seat by the window and they stared at each other as the doors closed and the bus pulled off.
As the dust kicked up behind the bus and it got smaller and smaller before completely disappearing, she kept Tim's words in her head. He'll be fine. "I'm trusting you Tim." She whispered to herself before wiping her eye and walking over to her car.
A/N: FNL is my obsession! Story time: my mom and I both started watching when ABCFam started marathoning it, but once they stopped (why did they do that again?) we moved to Netflix and caught up in time for the final season. One of the best shows on television, hands down.
Out of all of the little peeks we got into everyone's life, Luke joining the army surprised me so much. I thought he was just going to go to that one college and then come back to Dillon, marry Becky, and move into a big house with a farm. Since that didn't happen, I had to write out how I thought that conversation played out. I hope you guys enjoyed it!