Author's Note: Oh bloody hell. Another story. I just can't help it. This idea sprung to my head while watching an animal show... bored as hell one day.

Important- Information regarding the beaver and ferret will be completely factual (eating habits, body functions, sleep, etc). Well, I don't know about completely, but I will do some research. (Yes, I'm such a dedicated author. Honestly! There is no sarcasm there! –cough-)

Most likely this story will not be in canon. Reason? Laziness. I swear, it's a damn curse.


Summary: An unfortunate incident happened to occur during Transfiguration Class. Can life get any more complicated now that Hermione is a ferret and Draco is a beaver? Fate doesn't seem to think so.

On The Wild Side

Chapter One- Adversaries' Altercation


Hermione Granger pursed her lips and gave a very annoyed sigh. Six completed years of Hogwarts, having the highest scores on the major tests, not to mention earning the title of Head Girl her seventh year and she could not, simply could not get this spell to perform correctly. There must be something wrong! She checked her wand, inspecting it to see if there was a crack or perhaps something else that made her wand so incompetent. Her wand was perfect.

Maybe it was her. She thought. But it couldn't be. It was irrational. She had always managed to perfectly perform a spell usually around the first or second time. Third if she was tired and fourth if half of her brain was not functioning properly.

But this... She thought furiously. At least fifty times and still, no results! Not even a twitch! She was at a complete lost. Maybe her magic was draining? Maybe it was because she was a Muggle that her magic was losing its touch? She dreaded the thought.

She looked up from her lifeless cup and surveyed the room. One half of the room was filled with black cloaks with emblem of a green snake, Slytherin and the other half was filled with the emblem of a lion, Gryffindor—her own house. They were all in Transfiguration Class under the stringent teaching and heavy scrutiny of Professor McGonagall. The woman and her half-moon spectacles were carefully observing the works of the Slytherins.

Hermione bit her lip, mind in deep concentration. Should she ask McGonagall for help? It would be wise, she knew, but imagine the humiliation! Hermione Granger rarely asked the help of a teacher and especially in the presence of Slytherins, where they could easily ridicule her for not being able to do such a simple spell. She could not take it; her egoistical pride of being able to be almost perfect in every academic subject would not let her be so weak in front of the Slytherins. And it was one Slytherin in particular that she absolutely refused to let him gloat and wallow in his pompous ego as he taunts her for being a mudblood and not being welcomed in the Wizard World. Draco Malfoy.

Although the pretentious git did not receive the title of Head Boy (which she is very thankful for), but came very close to, only to be beaten by Mark Harpin, a Ravenclaw student and Draco eventually ended up third. As a result of letting a mudblood beat him, Hermione knew Draco was more irritable and was on her cases more than he ever had in the past years. Hell would freeze before she let him enjoy her misery.

There was a chance that the coldness was taking a toll on Hell now.

Damn! She silently cursed. What could be wrong with me? Why isn't this spell working?

She wanted to smash the cup out of pure frustration but that would only alarm the class and their attention would be focused on her. Something she did not need at the moment.

"Mutia te rabbit!" She whined, begging the cup to change into a fluffy rabbit. It remained motionless on her desk, taunting and teasing her, looking blankly as if it was saying 'you can't change me... na-na-na-na-nah...'

"Mutia turkey!" Nothing.

"Mutia llama!" Still nothing.

"Mutia something!" The cup twitched and Hermione's eyes gleamed with hope and her stomach gave a little flutter. But alas, but twitch was the result of Neville Longbottom bumping into her table.

Her eyes moved to her two bestfriends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Harry managed to turn his cup into a little mouse and Ron, even Ron had turned his cup into a parrot and now it was repeating everything he said.

She did not know what was wrong. Maybe it was her cup? It is such a simple spell, something that was practiced during her First Year, yet, here she was in her Seventh Year, performing another one quite similar to it, but only a bit more difficult and she could not do it!

She was almost giving up. Something that was so unlike-Hermione-ish.


He was bored.

Very bored.

The two companions besides him offered him no pleasant company. After all, what amusement could he have from two dolts that could barely surpass their intelligence for a rock? Crabbe and Goyle were like two oversized peas in a pod.

Draco Malfoy leaned back into his chair. He already transformed his cup into a snake (so very likely of him) and returned the cup to its original form. Now all he had to do was wait until every blundering idiot in the room finished their task.

His impassive blue eyes scanned the faces and activities of everyone in the classroom. Besides Longbottom's two-headed rat and Weasley's yapping parrot, nothing of great interest captured his attention. However...

His eyes stopped on his mudblood rival. Hermione Granger. Her cup was still on her desk and looked untouched. Her hands covered her face but he could tell that something was wrong. It amused him. Perhaps Granger could not get the spell?

He stood up, walking over to Hermione to annoy her, just out of spite and boredom.

"Granger, what is the matter?" He asked her, his voice dripping with artificial concern. "Your face is so much more hideous than usual. It pains my eyes to see you as so."

"Bugger off." She said.

Draco, however, was not satisfied with her remark and remained where he was. "Aw... Cup is not obeying you? Poor thing. Maybe it does not like mudbloods."

Hermione was determined not to let him get the best of her. She has control. She kept telling herself. She did not want to listen to him.

Draco was like a little pest that kept pestering her... like a prick that refused to stop pricking and it was trampling on every nerve she had.

"Why aren't you talking Granger? Your retarded cat got your tongue?"

Hermione clenched her fist. She wanted to punch that stupid smirk off his face so badly.

By now, Harry and Ron noticed the confrontation between her and Draco.

"Come on, now." Draco said. "You're not going to let these pansy boys defend you, are you?"

"Leave her alone." Harry said, gritting his teeth.

"This is not your problem Potter. This is between me and the mudblood."

He was testing her patience and it delighted him.

Dammit—she had control.

"Malfoy!" Hermione leaped out of her chair, causing everyone to immediately stop his or her work and look at the disturbance. She pointed her wand to his face. "Do you take pleasure in aggravating me?"

Draco looked absolutely amused now that he was getting what he wanted from her. Irritation.

"Certainly. Otherwise, what pleasure could anyone else get from you? You barely pass for female." He said.

Harry and Ron already had their wands drawn out.

"Leave him to us, Hermione." Harry said, glaring hatefully at Draco.

"We'll beat his arse into a bloody pulp." Ron added.

McGonagall attempted to calm the class down, but the students were too excited to see a fight, they completely ignored her. She barked louder, but their chattering only rose to a higher level.

Hermione gritted her teeth. "No. I can handle him." She said to her bestfriends. She turned to Draco. "Don't make me angry Malfoy."

"Oh? And what are you doing to do about it?"

"I'll turn you to a damn ferret. Don't make me."

She was bluffing and she hoped it wouldn't be able to see through it. If she could not turn a cup into a rabbit, there was no way she would be able to turn Draco into a ferret.

Draco raised an eyebrow at her threat. "Is that so? Perhaps you might enjoy the experience of being a beaver. At least you'll look better than you already do. Mudblood bitch."

That was the last straw. Hermione had finally snapped. "Mutia ferret!" The words exploded from her mouth before she could stop them.

A hidden power surged from within her and shot out through her wand.

At the same time, Draco also unleashed his own attack.

"Mutia beaver!"

"Stop!" Came McGonagall's frantic protest, but it was too late. The damage was already done.

Two burst of light shot through the room, colliding into each other. A loud boom resonated, the light blinding the eyes of the spectators. Everyone shielded their eyes while wondering what in the bloody hell happened.

The light had eventually dimmed down and the students, including McGonagall cautiously took a peek to survey the results. Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger were no longer there.

All eyes fell to the floor. Their eyes widened and bulged out. Their chins dropped to the floor.

Where Draco and Hermione once stood, now was replaced with a chestnut brown beaver and furry little russet colored ferret.

At first, there was a solemn silence. Everyone was speechless. Draco and Hermione could not have possibly been transformed into a ferret and beaver... have they?

Well it was the only logical reasoning since Hermione seemed to have disappeared and so has Draco.

And what remained of their wake... was a ferret and a beaver...

Pansy's shrilled scream was the first to break through the dead silence. Then chaos erupted.

"Draco! Oh Draco, what happened to you!" Pansy cried, flinging herself to the ground and hugged the ferret. It squirmed uneasily in her vicious grip.

"I say Malfoy got himself a species change." Blaise said, his eyes observing the wriggling ferret. "It was for the better, too."

Pansy gave him a heated glare and the Slytherin boy shut his mouth. Never mess with a weeping Pansy.

Meanwhile...

Harry and Ron both scooped up the beaver into their arms.

"Hermione! Poor Hermione. Don't worry, we'll find a way to change you back." Harry assured. The beaver only looked at the Boy Wonder with utter confusion.

Hermione? He could not get it at first. He cocked his head to one side and peered at the critter in Pansy's arms.

And his mouth fell, revealing his two buckteeth.

If the creature in Pansy's arm was a ferret and he was not the ferret in Pansy's arms... which only concluded that...

I'm fucking beaver! Draco thought, panicking. I can't be a fucking beaver! I can't! I'm too beautiful to become a bloody ugly beaver!

He writhed and struggled in Harry's arms, but the boy held on tight.

Let go of me you stupid idiot! I'm not Granger! Draco screamed, but unfortunately, the voice was only inside his head. He couldn't believe it, out of all places he could've ended up in... He was in Potter's arms... and somehow, in some twisted, sickening way, it did not sound too right.

"Hermione, stop moving around." Harry said. "We'll get you back if it's the last thing we do. We promise."

You'll be in for a big surprise.

But Draco only fidgeted harder and more relentless. The boy-who-refused-to-let-go held him tighter.


It took a while for Hermione to get her mind to focus and think properly. It felt like the spell had completely made her brain exploded.

Why was she so up high from the ground?

And where was that ridiculous sniveling coming from?

Hermione looked up and she almost fainted.

Good Merlin, she was in Pansy's arms! What was she doing in Pansy's arms? She wanted to know and she wanted to know now.

And she was far too smashed against Pansy's chest for her own comfort. Oye, she was going to be sick.

What was Harry doing with that... beaver! That must mean she... Hermione glimpsed at her furry tail. She was a ferret!

But it couldn't be! It shouldn't be! She was the one who cursed Malfoy to being a ferret, yet in some tragic way, she had ended up being the ferret.

What was with her dreaded luck these days?


McGonagall needed control of the situation. If Snape finds out she had gotten his favorite student turned into a ferret... again, she'll never hear the end of it. Worse, her favorite student was a beaver. What was she going to do?

This spell simply did not work on human beings. They were supposed to be for inanimate objects.

"Be quiet now!" She screamed. Her class stopped.

"Mr. Potter, take the beaver—Miss Granger with you and Miss Parkinson, take care of Mr. Malfoy. I need time to think. Bring them back in ten minutes and we'll work this out." She had never lost control like this before. She was always so calm and collective.


Hermione silently screamed.

No! No! No! She cannot go with the Slytherins!

But all that came out of her were little squeaks.

She tried to wriggle her way free but that only ended up her being mashed up even more in Pansy's chest.

It was the opposite of what she wanted. She wanted to cry.


Draco could not face the horror. McGonagall, this is a fucking mistake! I am not Granger! Don't let these damn Gryffindors take me!

Yet, somehow, all of his squirming and protesting remained futile to him.

He saw Pansy walked away with Hermione in her arms. Pansy looked at him with utter disgust as if he was really Granger. For once, he wanted to cry out that he needed her. Anything was better than being hugged by Potter.

Hermione looked pleadingly at Harry as Pansy took her away, but Harry never paid any attention to her.

She was being kidnapped against her will for Merlin's sakes! Even if it was just for ten minutes, she knew the Slytherins could somehow traumatize her. But then again, being all in Pansy's chest did not exempt from being part of the process.


Draco and Hermione both knew, as they were being led away... that somehow... changing back to their original form and species... were not going to be as easy as they hoped. But first, they hoped they would survive being in the arms of their most despised enemies... even if only for a couple of minutes...


Author's Note: Reviews, feedbacks, and criticisms will determine the fate of this story. So review, review, REVIEW!