R I V E R
asher
a/n: implied/insinuated 9+13, 6+13 later on. heavy on the 9+6/9x6 and 9+13. noin's pov
// // denote speech in the past by Treize
\\ \\ denote speech in the past by Noin
- - -
//he is beautiful//
This is what you always told me. Before I was of an age to know how complicated our triad relationship was, I knew that you found him to be beautiful.
I have never heard another man use the word in quite the same manner as you so often did when you talked of him.
//he is beautiful//
I never felt like you had no attention for me, never felt an engulfing need to prove my worth to you. My worth as a soldier, as a lieutenant in your army, or as a comrade.
But I always envied those words.
//he is beautiful//
Did he ever hear them from you directly? Did he know how much you admired him? Knew the manner in which you adored him; raised and placed him on a pedestel?
No. He couldn't have. He would have shied away from it, hidden himself, shorn away the platinum locks that we both tugged so lovingly on. He would have denied it. Flushed a gold tinged scarlet.
You were stern with us both. Were unavoidably cool when needed. Were heart-breakingly graceful, were delicate; were everything we both wanted. Yet your face remained passive; undistrubed by full emotion.
But when you smiled...
Oh, the sunlight was much more golden than it usually was. The air was sweeter and even though those words were never directed as me, my heart clenched tightly seeing your lips form the tone. Clenched at the sound of your low contralto murmuring such a painful confession; an obvious preference..
//he is beautiful//
But a love was there. Love affairs began easily with just the sound of his voice...the sweet sweet sounds of his linguistic rythmn, the soft, rounded words that flowed from his lips.
The light loved him. Invaded his very body, encased him in showers of gold and his smile broke me; every single one of his glances ripped at my organs, tore through my veins and buried itself in unborn cells. His presence giving birth to parts of me that could do nothing but love him. Because in passing moments, in fleeting instances---he became perfection. Was the pinnacle of the person you and I craved for...that we grasped blindly for.
I envied that beauty, the brief flashes of perfection.
I never once heard you tell me the same. Never once felt you feel the same for me.
//he is beautiful//
And you were---
---were less of yourself once he...
---you spoke little to me.
I cried; yearning for the sound of your voice. Wanted to tear off skin that harbored a need for your hands, a heart and tenuous nerves that ached for your voice. Skin that also screamed for him...that would have eaily perished away to keep him with me...with you...for the sounds. For the sounds...
For a bit of your laughter. For the weight of his voice...for his tears...for his pains and for his needs...for you...for him...
You have been fading.
//he is beautiful//
You asked how much I knew.
And as if I could ever hold anything from you, I allowed my eyes to break away from your tears.
Focused instead on your lips.
Moving, pursuing, quivering slightly.
\\all i know about him is that i loved him...that he was everything i wanted...\\
//no---you know more than that...//
With a response that silenced forever my claim to you---without knowing why---you'd removed yourself from me with three words.
Never spoken about anyone else. Never to me.
//you know that he was---//
...he was everything to you...to me...
//---that he was---//
...and despite the loss of him...despite how much radiance my life had lost because he was gone...my mind prevailed on a single thought:
Did you ever say them about me?
//...he was beautiful...//
- - -
i don't know if i will make this into a full fledged fic. i like the idea though. for those of you who have yet to see a river runs through it you must see it. AND read a the book. both very good and they inspired this story.
if you think i should continue, let me know! and feeback is appreciated always!