Amanda opened her eyes slowly, and blinked a couple of times to focus. She saw two champagne glasses, not quite empty, and a small bouquet of flowers in the champagne bucket on the other side of a room that wasn't hers. She smiled as she lingered on memories of her first night as Mrs. Stetson.

She realized a light touch on her shoulder had woken her. She turned over, seeing Lee propped on one elbow as he gently drew patterns on her bare back. "Hey, you" she said.

"Hey yourself," he said. When Lee saw Amanda without make-up, very messy hair, sleepy eyes, he decided he was looking at the most beautiful woman In the world.

"Sleep well?" he asked, as she turned to kiss him and settle on his shoulder. "Well, when I slept, I slept well." She looked at him and he grinned. "Kept you up late, did I?"

"Mmmhm. You could say that," she sighed and put her head down. As they lay there, in a palpable after glow, she started to laugh softly.

"What?" he asked. She shook her head. "Nothing."

"No, really, what is it?"

"I was remembering when we met in the train station, and I was in my nightgown. Did I ever tell you that?"

"That you were in your nightie? Oh I knew it," he said.

"You did not!" she said.

"Oh yeah," he replied. "There I was, running away from the KGB in Union Station, carrying information vital to national security, when I saw this woman coming my way. 'That's it!" I thought. 'The woman in her nightgown and overcoat can save me.' I mean, who wouldn't trust a woman in a train station in her nightgown?"

"I don't believe you. My coat covered it up. You had no idea."

"No? It was a light blue, long, with lacy stuff at the neck and sleeves," he answered. "I knew what I was doing. It's my favorite nightgown of yours." He closed his eyes and smiled wistfully.

"Liar. I've never worn it around you," she sniffed.

He grinned again and turned to her. "Exactly." He lifted the covers and gazed appreciatively at his wife. "Who needs nightgowns anyway?" She rolled her eyes affectionately and kissed her husband.

"However, you never told me why you were there in the first place. In your nightgown."

"I was dropping Dean off to catch a train," she replied.

"Dean," said Lee thoughtfully. "Whatever happened to him, anyway?"

"He got a job in New York and married someone his mother approved of more than me."

"Ah yes, when you had amnesia and missed your luncheon date. Surely a car accident and head injury were good reasons to miss lunch?" Lee asked. He had never quite let go of the guilt that she was on a supposedly harmless errand for him when the car accident took away her memory. Actually, when he thought about it, there were many times in their first year he felt guilty about, when she was in far more danger than she should have been for someone so new. He shook his head to himself and turned his attention back to Amanda.

"It wasn't just that. I was divorced and had a job - sort of - and that just isn't done in Dean's family," she replied. "Believe it or not, he's a bit of rebel In his own way. Didn't follow in his dad's business, didn't marry right away, dated a divorcee with a job and two kids."

Lee whistled. "Dean. Who knew? The fisherman in plaid."

"What are you talking about? Plaid and fish?"

"Don't you remember when you gave me his coat when I was supposed to be dead? When we went to that dive hotel?" You know, the first time we went to bed." Although they were fully clothed that night, Lee remembered being acutely aware of Amanda's body next his under the ratty covers in that flophouse. "Our first time under cover," he smirked, "or so to speak . . ."

Amanda shivered and sat up. "Oh god - that awful place. I wanted to shower for a week after that man walked in on us. Ugh." It was awful, but, she would never admit this out loud, there was a slight thrill to pretending that there was a lot more going on under those tattered sheets.

She turned to him. "And yes, that jacket was ugly. But how did you know Dean liked to fish?"

Lee raised his eyebrows. "How quickly they forget," he sighed. "Our first house, too."

Amanda shook her head.

He sat up and kissed her shoulder. "The first time we lived together - and you became a Connie Beth Girl. You hung a picture of him with some monster fish on our kitchen wall." He still remembered this case with great fondness. He didn't realize it at the time, but he was witnessing the best and the worst of the suburban life that Amanda led.

Her face cleared. "Oh my, I had forgotten about that."

"I'm hurt," said Lee with the slightest of pouts. "We were such a charming couple, too."

"Oh I remember that," she said. "I remember you showing off your chest before you sauntered off to bed."

He laughed mischievously. "As I recall it was you who had lascivious thoughts about having an affair."

Amanda shook her head. "I was pretty naive back then." Naive, maybe - but Lee wasn't wrong. The picture of him with his shirt open stayed with her for a very long time - a lot longer than the photo of Dean and his fish.

"Maybe," he said, "about some things, but you were the one who figured out what Bouchard and his Connie Beth outfit were up to. It was impressive. You were impressive." He shook his head. "When you grabbed the hairspray and blinded him . . .I'm not sure there are many trained agents who would have thought of that. They'd all be interested in the hand-to-hand approach."

"And that's when you fell for me, right?"

"It was one of many times . . . my love." Lee lay back down and chuckled. "That assignment drove Francine nuts. She couldn't figure out if we were actually playing 'man and wife.' I had way too much fun keeping her guessing," he said, thinking about telling Francine of his newly-found admiration for the 'generosity and stamina of the suburban housewife.'

"You're terrible. Now we spend our time trying to convince her we aren't together, never mind married," said Amanda. "Francine. I always thought she didn't like me because I was the one who found her drugged and giving secrets to the Soviets through those awful cooking lessons with that horrid woman."

Well," Lee said thoughtfully, "Francine doesn't like what she doesn't understand, and she doesn't understand you." He added, "let's face it, the only one who really saw your potential was Billy."

Amanda blushed. "I'm sure I was more of a hindrance than a help, at least at the beginning."

"You certainly were," Lee replied.

"Excuse me," Amanda said, with a touch of indignation, "This is where you say something like 'oh, no Amanda, you were great.' Or something."

"Sorry, sweetheart," he said, kissing her gently. "But that was what made Billy such a genius. He knew I was headed for a dark place, and by making me watch out for you, I'd have to come out of myself. However," he mused, "I don't know if he thought I'd fall in love with you."

"A dark place," said Amanda, putting her head down. "You seemed so, I don't know, alone, like glass - strong enough until someone hit it in just the right way, in just the right place."

"And you," said Lee, "always seemed like a stiff breeze would blow you off center, yet you always came back, stronger than before."

She shrugged. "It hurt when Joe and I broke up. But it wasn't a sudden kind of hurt like a blow. It was more the pain that comes when you suddenly realize you have a bruise or a scab and you have no idea how it got there. Not immediate. More like a something you slowly get use to."

His face clouded. "I was a mess after Jack was killed."

Amanda gently touched Lee's face. "I don't know if you ever told me what happened."

Lee looked away, focusing on a place far beyond their conversation. "It's pretty simple. We were at a stakeout, watching the home of a domestic spy - an American we suspected of dealing arms with the Soviets. It was late, our thermos ran out, so we flipped a coin to see who would go out for more coffee. It was freezing, and the car was warm, and I lost. And I did something an agent should never do - left my partner alone without back-up. I didn't take my gun - too much trouble, I thought, for such a short walk." He stopped and blinked a few times.

Amanda didn't say anything, waiting for Lee to be able to talk. Finally, he took a deep breath.

"It all happened very fast. I was coming back and saw a car coming the other way. Headed right for me. Jack knew I wasn't armed and jumped out. He never had a chance-they shot him as soon as he was out of the car and then they rammed him into our car. If I had been armed, if I had stayed in the car . . ."

"You might have been killed, too," said Amanda.

He looked at her sharply. "I should have been. Jack had a family-his parents, a brother and a fianceé. I was alone. It didn't seem fair."

Amanda looked straight into his eyes. "And when is it fair?"

He shook his head - unable to answer, he let himself be wrapped up in her warm embrace, knowing that whatever had gone before, he was meant to be here, now, with Amanda. Little did he know how much her question and this moment would haunt him in the days ahead.