"I have to go."
"I have to go." The words repeated in her mind constantly as she rushed down the small footpath.
She was mentally kicking herself for leaving. A voice in the back of her mind was quietly pointing out that she had just ruined any chance she had of making a friend.
But that was why she did it. She didn't have friends. No, she wasn't allowed to have friends. She was a freak, the weird green girl. She doesn't deserve friends. That idea was so deeply ingrained in her mind, a result of her father's constant abuse, her sister's disapproving glances, the hard fists of teenaged boys, and the cutting words of other girls.
She nodded to herself. She wouldn't get hurt. Her roommate, despite all of her seemingly harmless fluffiness, was the worst of them all. For example, this very night.
She was convinced for once in her life that somebody wanted her to be there. That for maybe a split second somebody cared enough about her to give her a present. She couldn't even remember getting a present, but she knew that her mother had given her at least one. But Frex, her so called father, was adamant about not acknowledging the day that she was born whatsoever. And as for Lurinemas and other religious holidays, she couldn't really care. She found religion distasteful.
But then bubbly, perky, popular Galinda had given her a hat. Sure, it was a bit odd looking, but still, it was something for her. So she had shown up at the dance, only to be humiliated. And honestly, what was she expecting? She had not been expecting Galinda to dance with her.
But that was just one of many instances where she had been drawn in and spit out.
She hated herself for allowing to think that she had a chance at friends.
Unless, of course, another voice chimed in, Galinda was being genuine. She seemed pretty genuine earlier as she laid out a plan to Elphaba.
Elphaba breathed deeply. If she never took a chance, she would never know.
This obviously would take place after Popular. I suppose it can be considered a follow up to my previous drabble, Hoping for a Moment.
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CIH