Authors Note: Okay, so this short little fan fiction is about when Edward is alone without Bella. When he describes letting the pain have him, I wondered what is was like for him.
Disclaimer: I don't own Edward (although every girl wishes she does) and I hope you enjoy this little tidbit.As I lay on the ground, useless, I thought of her. Was she okay? Was she dead? The last thought was too much, sending me into the ripping sobs I was so used to, crippling me towards the ground. My un-beating heart had a hole so large it was unable to be healed. I was never able to see her again. It was just safest if I didn't go back. Safest for everyone.
The werewolves would go away with the inactivity, and Victoria would go away, leaving Forks safe. I gasped for air, wishing I had died all those years ago. I was no good for her, or anyone else. Our kinds are menaces. We destroyed, and we hurt. It was our purpose.
A small weak doe was wandering the field, but I paid no mind to it. I didn't care that my eyes were endless pitches, with only hurt seen in them. My throat closed painfully, and made the sobs come in greater quantity and strength.
I wanted to go back. With all my heart and soul. She had no idea that I was only doing what is best for her. But no one could see that but me.
I lay there, unable to get up, and, for about the thousandth time, wishing I could sleep. Even nightmares were better than reality. I wanted to have moments of peace to just lie there, consumed into a black nothingness. But I couldn't. I had to face it.
I was damned to live like this forever, the pain never easing.
I can only hope that something wonderful happens soon, or else I might have to go to the Volturi…