The WARNING!!!: This is a story written for no other reason than to kill off a character. If that's not your cup of tea, you may want to think about skipping it and reading something of ours that isn't part of the Anime Hit List Arc. Thank you.
The Disclaimer: We don't own Birdman, Toonami, Moltar or Dragonball. They are owned by Hannah-Barbara, Cartoon Network, Hannah-Barbara and Akira Toriyama (respectively). We do own the Anime Assassin Corps and the Anime Hit List.
The Notes: This report was altered slightly to accomodate this archive. If you'd like to read the original (images+pretty colors+dynamic font) please visit our homepage the Anime Hit List. (Link can be found on our profile page.)
Anime Assasin Corps Official Report
Case #1: A Feather for the Host
The Client: Moltar (Former Host of Toonami)
The Hit: Birdman (Birdman)
The Intro:
Hey, wait a minute!! Birdman isn't anime. Okay, we know but you'll understand once we explain.
Do you remember when Toonami first hit the scene on Cartoon Network? Who was the host? That's right. Moltar, the guide to a world of anime features. Now, because of Moltar's efforts to bring anime into the mainstream, the Anime Assassin Corps feel he deserves honorary Anime status. As such, it is his privilege to sanction a hit by one of our AAC hitmen regardless of who the target is.
Keeping that in mind, Moltar never held back in voicing his contempt for the worse superhero ever, the hero who needed three sidekicks and still got into trouble in every episode. Don't worry Moltar! The AAC has just the assassin for your little annoyance.
BIRDMAN IS GOING DOWN!
The Hitman: She is the young daughter of the Ox King and the future wife of Goku in the Dragonball Sagas.
She is CHICHI!!!!
The Chichi Report
By Chichi of Fire Mountain
Ooo, ooo! I was soooo excited when AAC told they picked me to do a VERY important mission. Papa would be so proud. blushes with glee
I got a picture of the bad man. He was ugly and scary. I just hoped he wouldn't be mean like my very first boyfriend (Yamcha) and run off on me. That's not very nice. pouts ...No, I'll be strong and defeat this bad guy.
I found the birdman easily. He was out sunning himself. I went to get him but a birdboy got in my way. I used my helmet laser and dropped a tree limb on him. ouch, sorry Then a birdgirl came when she heard the crash. I thought maybe the boy was her boyfriend and how I would feel if my boyfriend had a tree limb dropped on him. sniffle I'M SOOO MEAN!!!!! The girl didn't see me while she was checking on the boy, so a tippy-toed passed them both.
I was getting closer to the birdman and trying not to think of a branch on my first boyfriend. He was soo handsome. a tear drops But then I remembered how he dumped me, and so I got back to my mission. There was a pretty birdie up in the sky. I wanted to pet him but he was too high up. sniffle So I kept getting closer to the birdman.
Just as I was close enough to get him with my helmet blade, I stepped on a twig, and he saw me.
"Hi! I'm lost. Can you help me?", I asked with big puppy dog eyes.
There had been fear in his eyes until I had done my pretending. He said he would help and started coming closer. He was even scarier up close. uck!
He wasn't expecting me to grab my helmet blade and his jaw dropped and eyes popped out of his head. It was like a cartoon. hee, hee I threw the blade at him, but he was too fast. He started to fly. I wasn't going to let him get away. Daddy, I won't let you down. Then when he was about thirty feet up, the birdie swooped down and bashed him in the back. WOW The attack distracted the birdman enough so I could throw my blade again.
It hit dead on and chopped off both of his wings. There were feathers and blood everywhere. uck! I ran over to where he fell. The birdie was already picking at his leg. I tried to stop the birdie. I mean, the birdman was my responsibility to kill.
"What are you doing, birdie?", I asked.
The birdie looked up from where he was munching on the moaning man. He reached into his feathers and pulled out a medalion and gave it to me. It was an Anime Assassin Corps Medalion. The birdie was the secret operative the AAC had planted to help me with my mission. His code name was Avenger.
The wingless birdman was trying to get up and run away. But I knocked him down with an easy kick to the chest. He started crying and asking why we were doing this to him. I was told that if he asked I was to give him a picture and that was all. So I pulled out, the photo of Toonami's Host and gave it to him. He looked at it and screamed, "BUT HE IS THE BAD GUY AND NOT EVEN ONE OF MY ARCH-VILLIANS! WHY DOESN'T HE PICK ON SPACE GHOST?!!!!".
I did go against orders enough to say, "Brak has already put a hit out on Space Ghost with a different company."
With that, I used my laser to blast him into pieces. uck Blood got all over me. Gross!!!!
So, Avenger and I went off to take a nice warm bath. Daddy will be sooo proud of me!
Mission accomplished: March 3, 2001
