The Twilight Twenty-Five
Prompt: 25. Worthless
Main Character: Bella
Rating: M
Word Count: 331
Prompts can be found here:
thetwilight25 round-nine/prompts/
Shutting the mirrored cabinet door, she stares at her reflection.
Trying to really see.
A washed out complexion.
Dull brown eyes with dark circles.
It's her face but it means nothing.
Twisting open the bottle, she counts the pills.
There looks to be enough.
She continues to stare.
For the past few months, she's convinced herself.
Given herself the reasons why she should strive to live.
The small, few reasons of why and how life can still be worth living after she's lost mostly everything.
There are good days and bad days.
Today is a really bad day.
Getting out of bed is worthless when she has no real reason to.
Coffee is worthless when no amount of it can fix a zombie.
This house is worthless when there is no longer a family to fill it.
These pills are worthless because they are not magic and they can't fix the things gone wrong in her life.
Through trial and error, she knows.
Sitting down on the edge of the tub, she grips the bottle tight.
A quiet house should suggest a quiet mind, but hers is not.
She sits this way for a long time.
Hours.
This is one of those days where she thinks these pills could be the answer to all of her problems.
A different kind of fix.
Where everything goes away.
Where all of the waste and worthlessness can be swallowed down.
But she always comes to the conclusion that she is a coward.
She is a coward for not living life.
She is a coward for not being able to end it.
Either way, she can't fucking do it.
And every time she attempts it, she dies a little more inside.
Instead of the whole bottle, she takes one pill out.
Puts the cap back on.
Holding the pill between her fingers, she stands.
Holding base in front of the sink, she swallows the numb.
Putting the bottle away, she doesn't look in the mirror.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
xoxo