Game over
"Made it just in time.." His breath was heavy, though he no longer felt the need to breath. He wasn't going to die. Not here. Dirk gripped the sword tighter, then pulled it out, drenched in cerulean blood "Go to hell." he grunted through gritted teeth. Aranea fell to the ground, the light fading again from her eyes; before it could return, he cut off her hand, and pulled off the ring. The spider bitch and all her blood returned to the void.
From behind dark sunglasses, amber eyes looked down at the figure in soft yellow "Jake, you ok?"
He reached down to help his -recently ex- boyfriend up, but Jakes green eyes only looked beyond Dirk "Bloody hell.."
Above the green planet, a red battleship loomed, atop which held a cackling sea empress, her golden triton clutched firmly. Eyes narrowed behind pointy shades "She's not striking. I'll deal with her later. We have to save Jane."
"I.. I think it has to do with the tiara she's wearing." Unsteady, Jake rose to his feet, refusing Dirks hand nor gaze. "If we can just get rid of that-"
"Got it." A quick sprint forward, and Dirk lept off the sliced building. Jane, who, after he had killed Aranea, had began to search for John, picking up where Jade left off, but after a failed effort, began to watch the events below
Pausing a few feet over the edge, he turned around, silent for only a moment, as if contemplating his words. "Go get roxy." He decided, before dashing off towards the floating robot of a girl.
"How in the dickens am I supposed to do that?!"
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
Meanwhile, his red cape flapped behind him as Dave raced down Jack and the new white Jack, who were in turn chasing down some weird looking white cat. "If only they would just drop jade.." He gritted his teeth, "Damn it." The world turned grey as time paused. Though everything froze, he was still going forward at full speed, and quickly swung his sword through the stupid cat.
Color returned, and without the fluffy feline to chase after, the two jacks began barking at each other.
God damn it
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"OH ******HELL****** NO" Eyes blood red, the raging troll looked up from his rampage, at his ex-moirail, and grinned, purple blood dripping from the corners of his mouth "WHAt iS UuUuP, My InVeRtIb-"
VVVRRRIIIPPPPPPP
Once more, purple colored blood splattered as another of the last of the trolls was split in two. Looking down in disdain, Kanaya was only met with Gamzee's eternally mad grin. 'He's still alive' she realized, and without another word, kicked his halves into the lava below. If he wasn't going to die, he could at least suffer.
Meanwhile, Karkat clenched his teeth, running around the lava lake to get to the tower. Unlike a certain glowing jade blood, he didn't have the rainbow-drinker strength required to jump across a lava lake, but he would be damned if he didn't get to Terezi before she died.
'No. Don't say that. We're not dying now.' He looked up at the red clothes figure hovering over them ominously, like a bird of prey waiting to strike, clutching her giant red fork, and grimaced, holding his stomach where he had been killed earlier.
'Not any more.'
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"Cease reproduction." Jane droned as she dodged another slice at her head. "Hail the empress."
"Damn it, Jane!" He growled "I'll kill you if I have to!"
"Cease reproduction." Her red eyes narrowed, ducking under his sword, it slicing off a fray hair. She lept backwards, then suddenly jerked, her eyes returning to their original sky blue, but whites remaining black.
Dirk swallowed, recognizing the unmistakable expression she looked at him with. Fear. "D-Dirk? Why are you swinging at me..? What's going on?" She looked around "Who's planet is this? Why aren't I on prospit? Dirk?" She hugged herself, giving the blonde the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster. After a moment ending with no response, she sighed, irises turning red again "I thought for sure that would trigger something in your human emotions, Strider.."
He scoffed "Jane is in there, somewhere, but I know when she is and isn't. Robots aren't know for acting skills."
"And princes are supposed to be charming. But look at your healthy relationship."
"Wow, ouch. That was low." The prince of heart rolled his eyes "But you know what?"
"What."
Dirk grinned "Happy Birthday." He raised his sword like a baton, pointing at the soft blue light from behind her, her head following.
"John Egbert!-" /slice/
Jane blinked once, then twice, the soft brown and green returning to her clothing, eyes white and sky blue, looking at the boy in blue in front of her "..Poppop?" "Nanna?"
Dirk turned away, looking up into the sky, then down to the missing ring on his finger. The Batterwitch was not pleased.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
She sat on the side of the stage, swinging her legs back and forth, looking out into the vast darkness beyond the small spiral plane "Calliope, I'm sorry.." Jade said with a smile, reaching over to hug the green cherub.
"What? Why is that?"
"I have to go." The witch of space looked down at her glowing hands, "But I'll be back, I promise!" She gave a buck toothed grin, closing her eyes so the cosplaying girl wouldn't see she had remembered, her whole body glowing, then vanishing.
When her eyes opened, she was greeted by a black and white dog on either side.. with wings.. and swords and tentacles? 'Jack' she reminded herself 'and.. Another jack. And..!' She grinned "Dave!" She sat up, looking up at the knight, who was sitting on the edge of her quest bed, like a knight in shining armor.
"Hey," he smirked in return. "How'd you sleep?"
She laughed "Like the dead."
He rolled his eyes "Yeah, well, I hate to wake you, princess, but I think we're getting close to the end of this." He looked back the direction which they had come, to the large red battleship and the green fire near the lava lake.
Jade sighed "No wonder jadesprite was so upset I brought her back.." she stood, walking over to the edge of her questbed, looking out at the battle, which had barely begun.
Silently, Dave walked up beside her, slipping his hand in hers "Yeah? Why's that?"
"Because this game is hell." She laughed, and together, they flew off into the storm.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"Really now, a mutant blood like you should have been culled ages ago."
Karkat gulped as the queen of trolls floated down to them, Terezi laying on his lap while he tended to her wounds, Kanaya standing over them protectively, chainsaw ready.
"Honestly, if I had known scum like you was roaming my planet, I would have gone and killed you myself." She examined her pink nails, sharpened to a point, and frowned "Though thanks to you lot, my beautiful Alternia is destroyed. Ruined!" She shrugged "I guess I'll just have to rule the new universe."
"Think again, batter bitch!" Dirk said, posing his sword "You're not leaving this planet until you're a corpse."
"Another mutant blooded scum to cull. What, that makes.." Her tyrian eyes scanned the kids "five of you?"
"Mak that sevin!" Roxy cheered (flying in next to Rose, she smiled and whispered "mom!" Who smiled back, but encouraged her to focus)
"Oh wow, seven mutants and two trolls. Soon to be one, thanks to that juggalo."
"Make it nine, condy!" Jade gave a bucked-toothed grin, holding her hands in front of her in a rectangle "And say goodbye to your stupid ship!" The large red battleship shrunk down to the size of a toy model, and the troll queen frowned.
"Well now it's personal."
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"How the fuck is she still going?!" Karkat panted, stepping back, coming back-to-back with a recently revived teal blood.
"If I were you, karkles, I'd be more concerned about the endless flow of Derse agents coming in." She bit her lip, slicing a stout black carapace.
"Oh shut the fuck up." His sickle clashed with a blade, then pushed it backward, swiping sideways into the soldier's hip.
Terezi lunged forward, taking out two in one swing, then sniffed the air "Karkat, behind you!"
A chainsaw tore through another black figure "Got it." Kanaya said, rushing off to take care of more of the Derse army.
In the air, the gods played 8-man tag-team, each taking their turn charging the Batterwitch. She seemed indestructible, and they grew tired, but she barely broke a sweat!
"Damn.. you.." Dave gritted, holding his arm, where she had managed to pierce with one prong of her trident.
"I'm flattered, Mr. Strider." She ran her finger along the bloodied tip, licking the crimson from her fingertip "Truely, I-"
The queens eyes widened, Tyrian blood dripping as her body shook with gold bullets "Damn.. you.. English.." No one moved as the queen of trolls fell from the sky, splashing into the lava far below, the only sound being a string of swears as the lava singed Karkat's clothes.
"English?" Dirk, Roxy, and Jane looked over to Jake, who was staring at his twin pistols in dismay "I-it wasn't me, I swear!"
"Then who..?" Dave trailed off, looking up into the sky, the other soon to follow.
Squinting off into the void, Rose's eyes snapped open "Everyone, move!" John curled up into a ball as he turned into wind, everyone else flying out, forming a circle around the new figure, who's large green form quaked with endless anger.
"How do you expect to dodge me.." It's voice rumbled "When I am already here!?"
Dave and Dirk readied their swords, Jake and Jade aimed their guns, Rose readied her needles, and Jane's fork crossed her body protectively and offensively.
"Calliope!" Roxie hiccuped, stepping forward with a smile "It's so great to meet you! Hav u been workin ou- whoop!" A gust of wind blew her out of rang of the large green claw swung at her. Dirk wrapped his arms around his sister, who kept trying to push away to go see Calliope.
John, now with the unwanted attention of Lord English, readied his hammer, looking at the demon with brows furrowed. "Sorry, Rose."
"John, don't." Rose said, eying the demon from the corner of her eye as she turned to the hero of breath "Don't you dare-"
He laughed softly "Man, can you really see the future?" His grip loosened, then tightened "Then you know how all the other paths end." He lowered his hammer down to his side, smiling.
"John, dude, what the fuck. Like, do you know who this guy is. He's Lord English, the big bad. You don't drop your weapons around guys like this." Dave kept facing towards English, but looked at John from the corner of his eye, who refused to look towards him.
John, instead, looked down at the three remaining trolls below "Hey, since he doesn't remember, say hi to Karkat for me." Unequipping his strife specibus, John held his hands out in front of him, and the wind began to swirl in a sphere around English.
Jade looked at her brother in confusion, trying to use her first guardian knowledge to figure out what the white glow around John and English was, the wind caging him growing faster. What it was was too late. "John, Wait!" Jade stepped forward, emerald eyes wide as her brother and lord English disappeared.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
[YOU WIN] the lime green letters underneath a Sburb logo blinked overhead, where moments ago Lord English stood. All the black carapace below vanished into dust, the three remaining trolls looking up to the sky. "They fucking did it.." Karkat said under his breath, Kanaya unequipping her chainsaw and Terezi sheathing her crimson-covered blade.
"Dave.." Rose tentatively reached for her brothers hand, who in turn swatted it away.
"See? I knew we'd win." The younger versions of their guardians drifted over, unsure, but glad that it was over.
"Grandma!" Jake cheered, floating over to Jade, who was looking down, hair in her face and glasses fogged. He grabbed her hands, smiling "We won! We beat the blasted game! We can go home!"
Jade looked up, lip quivering, and carefully brushed Jake's hair to her left, "John.." She whispered, throwing her arms around her grandpa/son. After an awkward hug, Jade nodded, wiping her face "Yeah, let's go home."
They flew over to the others. Jane was talking to Roxy about being mind controlled, and complaining about the company she had for so long wanted to run. Dirk and Dave were having an awkward first moment filled with tension and daddy issues. Rose had flown down to inform the trolls of the situation, then back up "Jade, could you maybe bring them up here?" Jade nodded softly, and levitated Kanaya, Karkat, and Terezi up to the group, Karkat screaming and Terezi saying "pschoo!" The whole way up.
Arms crossed, the mutant blood looked around, eyes falling on Jake "Where the fuck is John?"
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"Happy birthday Jane!" Dirk, Roxy, and Jake said, waiting for her at the kitchen table with a Betty-Crocker-free birthday breakfast prepared.
Rubbing the extra sleep from her eyes, Jane smiled "Aw, you guys shouldn't have.." The four sat around the round table, and without another word began to eat.
As the bacon crunched in her mouth, Jane reflected on the past five years. After the event-which-must-not-be-mentioned, since they rule the new universe. Jade said she got done breeding the frog during the three years spent on the meteor, and all she needed to do was let it free.
So that's what they did.
Being gods wasn't too difficult; they got to keep their sweet god tier powers, for one! And the universe was almost exactly like theirs, Rose had told her, before they had scratched. The only major difference was that the humans and trolls coexisted. The new Alternia and Earth are in the same galaxy, Jade had said, so that maybe, one day, they'll meet the trolls again.
But as gods of the universe, they got to go there any time. And Kanaya still saw it as her duty to oversee their race's rebirth, and Rose would go anywhere with her, they had left to spend a sweep on the planet about.. A sweep ago.
"Mom sent a message today." Dirk said as he sipped his coffee.
Roxy sighed, stirring her possibly-vodka-Infused coffee "Ples stop calling Rosie mom. That's so weird. She's our age, Dick."
"Dirk." He corrected without hesitation.
"Whatever." Jane sighed "It will be nice to see those two again. To hear about that strange alien planet. I hope they took lots of pictures!"
"Maybe we should go with them next time." Jake offered "There's not much to do around here."
"You grew up on an island with nothing but yourself and a bunch of alien animals and yet you can find some form of entertainment now than anything and everything is available?" Jane folded her hands in her lap with a sigh "Really, Jake.."
Jake flushed, biting the inside of his cheek "Yeah, well, if you can do anything, than where's the challenge? I almost miss the adventure.."
"No, I really don't miss worrying for my life every day of it." Jane sipped her tea, glancing to the blondes on either side of her "I'm taking silence to mean that you two agree?"
"Sure" "yep"
Jake practically whimpered "Come on, don't any of you miss just living in that game?"
"No" "nada" "Nope"
"AAAARRGGGGG!" Jake English's head promptly met the table
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"Get in the car, fuckass."
Jane contemplated closing the door in his face. "No need to be so rude. I don't see why I have to go anywhere with you, especially on my birthday- PUT ME DOWN THIS INSTANT YOU CANDY-CORN HORNED GREY-SKINNED ASS!"
With his foot, Karkat opened the car door, and threw Jane inside, going around to the other side and getting in, and locking the door before she could open it. "I was told to put you in this lousy ass car and drive you the fuck around until I get a text that tells me otherwise. Now shut your fucking load gaper and buckle the fuck up." Without another word, the pedal hit the floor, the small-but-powerful grey sports car taking off down the long gravel driveway of the large house in the forest the alpha kids called home.
By the time they made the hour and a half long drive into the nearest suburb, Karkat's purple phone buzzed "Oh, fucking brilliant." Checking to make sure no one was coming from the other end of the red light, Karkat made a quick loop while Jane checked the message. Frowning, she asked "Karkat, who is terminallyCapri-"
WHAP
"FUCK SHIT FUCK DAMNIT WHO THE FUCK WALKED OUT ONTO THE ROAD WHEN I WAS TURNING." Jane sighed, for the alien boy had not heard her message. He had, however, managed to hit one of the few pedestrians littering the streets.
Putting the car in park, they both unbuckled, running out to a) see if they were ok and b) make sure they didn't get the license plate and sue. Jane kneeled down, turning the boy over and brushing back his hair. "Hey dumbass," Karkat growled, "watch where you're..." As he got a better view, he was, for once, left speechless.
Jane squinted "He looks somewhat... familiar?"
Karkat grabbed the boy's hand, lifting him in the air, and slung him over his shoulders. Running back to the car, he proceeded to throw the boy in the back seat. Before he entered the vehicle, he looked to Jane, who was standing still. "I thought I already told you to get in the car." Jane didn't question it.
The entire drive back, Karkat gripped the steering wheel like his life depended on it. They might be going twice the speed limit, but fuck it. Fuck everything. He didn't give a flying fuck anymore, except constantly reassuring himself that he was not imagining the boy in the backseat.
XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
As soon as the car was parked, he flung open the door, having never bothered to put a seatbelt back on, and nearly dove into the backseat, dragging the boy out by his feet and struggling to keep him on his shoulder. Everyone was already at the alpha house, preparing Jane's not-so-surprising surprise party, only to be greeted by said birthday girl holding the door open for a panting Karkat, who trudged across the kitchen, over to the living room, and three the boy down on the couch, his square glasses shattered from the car's impact, but otherwise unscratched.
With a look that could kill, Karkat's gaze fell on Rose, Jade, and Dave "It's been FIVE FUCKING YEARS. NOW, WILL YOU FUCKING TELL US JUST WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO HIM."