Found this when the first PotC came out. Man, that was a long time ago. This fic shows my GREAT GREAT dislike for Haruno Sakura (you know how she was before Shippuden came out...) So yes, plenty of Sakura bashing. If you don't like it, then find something else. Not my problem. Anyways...Yeah, so this was written years back when I was still in high school and was a very pathetic spur of the moment thing. So here it is, another taste of my once overused randomeness...enjoy!
A (sorta sad) dedication to one of the best movies in the world: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. The only difference to this my friends, is that the role of the characters is going to be just a little exaggeration to them. And, by the way, did I make mention that these characters are going to be played out by ninjas?
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Prologue: The pony obsessed girl and the blonde haired boy
It is said that there is a great ship that sails the seven seas that is so evil and vile that Hell itself spat it out. The occupants of that ship were cursed. They are neither living nor dead. They only exist. The ship? It is called the Black Pearl (though it goes by many names also, but which of now I dare not utter). With its ragged sails and black wood, it haunts the shores of the Caribbean. The captain, however, is the most fearsome of them all. His name is Captain Uchiha Itachi. And this is where our story begins…
"ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT,
GENTLY DOWN THE STREAM!
MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY,
LIFE IS BUT A DREAM!" Uchiha Itachi took a deep breath. "Shall we do it again, Captain Ducky?" He squeezed his rubber ducky two times in reply. "You do? Okay! Here we go! ROW, ROW-"
"Captain Itachi!" a voice bellowed.
Itachi threw Captain Ducky under his desk. He cleared his throat. "Come in," he said in a very professional manner.
A random, nameless pirate slipped into Itachi's office. He saluted. "Sir! We burnt down Bootstrap Bill's ship!"
Itachi jumped from his seat. "The gold!" He extended his hand. "Give me the gold!"
The random, nameless pirate broke out into sweat. "Sir, we could not find it."
Itachi slammed his hands down on the desk. "Then where is it?" he asked in a strained voice.
The random, nameless pirate gulped. "We think that his son may have it."
"Then where is that boy?" he asked through gritted teeth.
"We're trying to find him, sir," the random, nameless pirate said quietly. "We checked the ship before we burned it. He wasn't there."
"Find him! Find him now!" Itachi yelled. "Bootstrap's whole family was on that bloody ship! Find that boy! And if you don't, I'll have your heads!"
A little pink haired maiden stood on the bow of her loverly, pricey ship that none of the pheasants could afford because they were so poor. But lucky her since her daddy was a rich governor man, he could afford this. So, as she was enjoying her time on her big, luxurious ship, drinking lemonade, while the pheasants were starving in the streets, she decided that she needed to exercise her voice (do you know how much hard work it is to take a sip of lemonade these days?!).
"I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME!
WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!
WITH A GREAT BIG HUG
AND A KISS FROM ME TO YOU!
WON'T YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO?!"
"Demons!" a voice hissed behind her. "You need to take some bloody voice lessons!"
"Mr. Kiba, that will do!" commanded a voice.
"But-Captain Neji!" Kiba complained. "Her voice is the most wretched thing to be heard on these waters! I'd much rather have sirens at my throat then to hear that wretched singing again! One day she's going to cause us all to go deaf! Mark my words!"
Neji huffed. "Consider them marked. On your way."
"Aye, aye sir! But, it's bad luck to have a woman aboard. Even a miniature one." Kiba scoffed. The dog on top of his head barked, agreeing with his master.
The pink haired girl stuck her tongue out at Kiba. "I think my voice is quite beautiful!" she said smugly.
Neji only patted her should. "Of course it is, Miss Haruno."
Kiba stuck his tongue out back at her.
"Having any problems, gentlemen?" a man with a cigar in his mouth waltzed up to them.
Miss Haruno jumped up in happiness. "Daddy!" she hugged the man. "I love you!"
"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not your daddy?!" the man yelled.
Neji gave the man a stern look. "Asuma, poor Sakura has the crazy," he whispered in Asuma's ear.
Asuma nodded. "That explains it."
"I want a pony-"
Kiba leaned over the railing. "Oi! Look! There's a boy in the water!"
"And an ice cream maker-"
"He doesn't look like he's breathing!"
"And an Easy Bake Oven-"
"Man over board!" Neji hollered. "Man the ropes! Fetch a hook! Haul him aboard!"
"And a beautiful Barbie doll! Not the small ones, but the one as tall as me!"
The sailors hauled the boy up. The boy was wearing an orange jacket and had blonde hair. When you looked closely, there were strange marks on his face. They placed the boy flat on the deck. Neji sat down next to the boy and put his ear to his chest. He let out a sigh of relief. "He's still breathing!"
"And a pony! Oh wait, I already said that, didn't I? Oh well, I want two ponies!"
Kiba's jaw dropped. He walked over to the edge of the boat. "What the…?"
A boat that was aflame stood ghostly in the midst of them.
Asuma's jaw dropped, causing his cigar to fall out of his mouth and fall into Sakura's pink, shiny hair. "What happened here?" he said loudly above Sakura's screams.
"Probably a powder magazine. Merchant vessels are usually heavily armed."
Kiba bit his lip. "A lot of good it did them. Everyone's thinking it. I'm just saying it. Pirates."
Asuma pulled out another cigar from his pocket, lit it, and began to puff. "There's no proof of that. It's probably an accident."
Neji's eyes narrowed. "Rouse the captain immediately! Heave to and take in sail! Launch the sail!"
Sakura was still yelling and running around in circles. However, since she was perfect after all, her hair wasn't damaged when Asuma pulled the cigar out of her hair. "Sakura, I want you to accompany the boy. He'll be in your charge. Take care of him."
Sakura nodded and skipped happily over to the boy. She knelt beside him and began to stroke his blonde hair. The boy immediately woke. He grabbed her wrist in surprise. Sakura gasped, then regained herself. "It's okay. My name's Haruno Sakura."
"U-U-Uzumaki Naruto," he choked out the words.
"I'm watching over you, Naruto." He became still again.
Sakura, thinking that it was rude that anybody would fall asleep in her presence, huffed. Then, she saw something shiny. A medallion hung around Naruto's neck. She snatched at it and examined it closely. "You-you're a pirate!" she squeaked.
"Has he said anything?" came Neji's voice behind her.
Sakura began to think. She could tell Neji that Naruto was a pirate and have him hung, or, on the other hand, if he had something as shiny and pretty as something as this, there was bound to be more where that came from. That's what she would do. Keep her lips sealed.
"His name is Uzumaki Naruto. That's all I found out," she said innocently, batting her eyes
Neji nodded to the sailors. "Take him below."
Sakura looked up and saw a black pirate flag sailing above her.
Hehehe...end of the prologue. If I get enough reviews from this little puppy then I'll dig up the rest of the old documents and put them online. I think this was more of a dedication for my fanbase (lol) of readers and reviewers from Anko's Konoha Babysitting Service. It has the same amount of randomness at least...
Lol, please R&R! Hopefully you've enjoyed this and if you are in a serious mood, check out Life! Pretty please? Also I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to make a big finale for AKBS's big wrap up!
