As soon as I heard the knock on the door, I knew it would probably be a bad idea to answer it but I did. I pulled it open and Jackson was standing outside, I remember being so surprised that I just stood there for a minute. Until he reminded me that I needed to let him in. So I had and I'd just stayed quiet until he was going to leave and He talked to me, he got it. We'd moved closer and closer, our lips almost touching, so close.
Then the door had opened and we moved apart, I couldn't find any words to say to Jackson after that so I'd just listened while Paddy and Marlon argued eventually having to interrupt them, Marlon bring up the bruises on Paddy's face and I felt that feeling of shame hit me again. I told Jackson to go, he had. But as soon as he started walking away I knew I didn't want him to leave. Paddy told me to go after him, I was grateful for that so I ran out of the house and tried to catch up to Jackson, tried to explain only the words weren't coming out right.
I saw Adam then Jackson walked away, I let him, because I tried to pretend everything was fine, I lost it and I know I scared Paddy but I had no idea how to deal with anything so I called Jackson, I called him over and over, left messages but there was just no reply, so I went to Bar West. I'd almost walked right back out again, even more so when Jackson pretty much told me he didn't want to talk to me. I'd ran out of there once, I wasn't about to do it again and I'd been relieved when he hadn't ignored me, when he'd brought me a pint and talked to me.
It went really well at least until I got the wrong idea, I'd run then, wanting to get as far away as fast as possible, Mortified, embarrassed and telling myself how stupid I must have been even as I ran but I didn't really count on Jackson running after me and he had. I'd listened to him, I believed he was telling me the truth and If I'm honest I was happy that he liked me. As he walked away the same thought I'd had in my mind ever since Marlon and Paddy had interrupted us resurfaced. I wish I'd kissed him.
We'd met the next night. Jackson acting as if the embarrassing moment from the previous night had never occurred and we'd had fun until I'd had to leave. As he walked away I tried to gather my courage. Turing and suggesting that we meet tomorrow, Jackson accepted and if I knew I'd just asked him on a date, even if I'd denied it when we were actually out the following night.
We'd come out of Bar West that night, Jackson trying to convince me that some guy had been cruising me as he put it. I'd denied it and he complimented me. Just before he kissed me. I'd frozen for a brief moment before I woke up. My eyes sliding shut as I kissed him back. The kiss itself was almost chaste only there was something more there, like Jackson was holding back and I wondered later what it would be like if I could get him to let go. But even if he was holding back there was no denying the electric jolt I felt. It seemed like all too soon it ended.
Jackson had pulled away, smiling as he walked away leaving me to lick my bottom lip trying to keep the taste of him, wondering when it would happen again.