You) The One That I've Been Waiting For?" and "The Weeping Song" both by Nick Cave and the Bad
Seeds.
THANKS: To Luc, for finding me the perfect "Mulder" song, you are the best. To Denise to telling me to write this one tonight. To Kell for thinking that it would work. And to The Crew for putting up with my crap.
As you've been moving surely toward me
My soul has comforted and assured me
That in time my heart it will reward me
And that all will be revealed
So I've sat and I've watched an ice-age thaw
Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
"(Are You) The One That I've Been Waiting For"
by Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds
Mulder pushed the door closed behind him, happy to finally be out of traffic and home again. He took his
coat off and tossed it on the back of the couch, grimacing when it slid off and landed in a heap on the floor.
Shaking his head, he walked over and picked it up, pulling the small bag out of the pocket as he put the
coat back on the couch. Taking the bag into his room, he kicked off his shoes as he removed the single item
from its plastic prison. Smiling, his fingers went to work on the cellophane that covered the CD he had
purchased on his way home. As his hands worked, he turned over the CD to see which songs were on it.
It had been awhile since he had bought a new Nick Cave CD, but this one had called to him while he was
walking by on his way to the video section to buy Scully a tape she had been hinting that she wanted. He
scanned the titles, committing them to memory. "Red Right Hand," "Nobody's Baby Now," "Into My Arms,"
"Are You The One That I've Been Waiting For?" That one caught his eye. He immediately placed the disc in
the Bose player next to his bed and clicked forward to track eight before hitting the shuffle button.
As the music started, Mulder allowed his eyes to slip shut, taking in the full effect of the music. Once Nick's
voice began filtering out of the speakers, Mulder knew that this was a song that described he and Scully's
relationship, in his mind at least, to a tee.
I've felt you coming girl, as you drew near
I knew you'd find me, cause I longed you here
Are you my destiny? Is this how you'll appear?
Wrapped in a coat with tears in your eyes?
Well take that coat babe, and throw it on the floor
Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
As the song continued to play, he felt the tears start welling in his eyes. He shut them, hoping to hold them
in. Despite his efforts, the moisture began to run down his cheeks, dripping onto his shirt. His chest started
hitching, containing a soul-wrenching sob that he knew he could not release, for doing so would be
admitting to the world that he wanted something that he didn't think he deserved.
As the next song began, Mulder was pulled from his thoughts by the change of atmosphere provided by the
music.
Go son, go down to the water
And see the women weeping there
Then go up into the mountains
The men, they are weeping too
Father, why are all the women weeping?
They are weeping for their men
Then why are all the men there weeping?
They are weeping back at them
This is a weeping song
A song in which to weep
While all the men and women sleep
This is a weeping song
But I won't be weeping long
"A little too appropriate, I think," Mulder muttered to himself as he wiped his eyes. He stood as the song
continued, stripping himself of his work clothes and his work persona. As he removed his tie he stopped
being Fox Mulder, FBI Special Agent, and became Fox Mulder, hopeless bachelor. His shirt was discarded
next, along with Fox Mulder, Profiling Golden Boy, to be replaced by Fox Mulder, man in love. With his
pants went Fox Mulder, abnormal psychologist, and as he donned his sweats he finally became Fox Mulder,
martyr to the cause that is Dana Scully.
As the CD played on, Mulder wandered around his apartment, cleaning random things that caught his eye.
He was working on scrubbing the layer of mildew off the edge of his shower when he heard the soft knock
at his door. He was startled momentarily by the sound, not expecting any visitors, when the knock came
again, followed by a soft "Mulder, it's me."
He struggled to his feet, his knees protesting the treatment they were getting, and trudged to the door. As
he disengaged the locks, a smile began to spread across his face, his mind finally processing that the
woman he had been thinking about since he got home was standing on the other side of the door, waiting
to be granted admittance.
The locks undone, Mulder pulled the door open, taking in the view he was given. Scully stood before him,
arms drawn across her abdomen, looking slightly annoyed at the amount of time it had taken him to
open the door. As their eyes finally connected, Scully registered the smile on Mulder's face and her
annoyance was replaced by something that neither of them could identify. Scully's eyes shifted from Mulder
to his apartment then back to him. He willingly stepped aside, allowing her entrance into his abode.
Scully stood just inside Mulder's door as he re-engaged the locks, admiring the evidence of his cleaning
spree. She had rarely seen the dark apartment in this state of tidiness. It usually looked as though it
had been hit by Typhoon Fox, the various collections of stuff organized in a fashion that only Mulder would
understand. Scully wondered what the occasion was, hoped that she hadn't interrupted something or that
Mulder was expecting company.
As Scully stood gazing into his living room, Mulder took the opportunity to gaze at Scully unnoticed. His
eyes took in her curves and planes, pausing longingly at the small of her back, the place that his hand
always came to rest as they walked. His eyes then drifted lower, admiring her ass, wishing that his hands
could rest there instead. Having already undressed her with his eyes, Mulder now took in Scully's casual
attire and wondered, not for the first time, if her skepticism and professionalism was removed along with her
suit at the end of the day. Previous experience was proving useless in this situation, since normally she
would have spoken by now.
Scully glanced back to find Mulder looking in her direction, his eyes glassy in thought. She cleared her
throat, hoping to draw Mulder back to her. He blinked several times, clearing his thoughts. He smiled again
at her and stepped up to stand next to her, his hand falling to its accustomed place.
"Hey."
"Hey, yourself. Mulder, I..."
"What is it, Scully? Is something wrong?"
"No, I... I just thought I should come over."
"Uh, okay. Do you want something to drink?"
"Mulder, you seem different tonight. Am I interrupting something?"
"Well, I was..."
"Okay then, I'll just go."
"Wait a minute, Scully. Just let me finish, okay?"
"Okay. But I really should go."
"No, you shouldn't. You didn't interrupt anything. I was just cleaning up around here. Decided it might be
time to get rid of the stuff that could walk out on its own."
"Oh, okay."
"Why? What did you think you had interrupted?"
"Oh, nothing. It's nothing Mulder. I'm sorry I didn't call first."
Scully turned and headed to the couch, throwing herself down on it with a sigh. Mulder shook his head and
headed toward the kitchen to get a drink.
"Hey Scully, you want anything from out here?"
"Is it safe?"
"I think so. Nothing smells too bad in the fridge."
"I'll just have water, unless you have some coffee made."
"Coffee it is. It'll be ready in a minute."
"Oh, Mulder, you don't have to make any just for me."
"Too bad. I'm making it. I think I might have some too, though."
Mulder rummaged around in the kitchen for a minute, locating his coffee supplies. He hoped that the coffee
maker was in usable order, since he usually stopped on his way in to work to get his first cup in the
morning, getting up too late to make it at home. Once he got the coffee started, he returned to the living
room and was about to sit down when he finally heard the CD player again. He had a sneaking suspicion
that he was about to embarrass himself and turned to head back into his bedroom to turn it off when Scully
grabbed his hand.
"Mulder, what are you listening to?"
"Nick Cave."
"I like it. Leave it on."
"Okay."
He turned and sank down into the couch next to Scully, content with the sounds drifting out of his bedroom.
His eyes slid shut, the workday and his impromptu cleaning finally catching up with him. His mind was trying
to figure out what Scully was doing with him this evening when he felt tears spring to his eyes again. He
stopped thinking for a moment and listened, instantly recognizing what had brought on the tears.
As you've been moving surely toward me
My soul has comforted and assured me
That in time my heart it will reward me
And that all will be revealed
So I've sat and I've watched an ice-age thaw
Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
He opened his eyes and he turned towards Scully, wondering if she heard the words that were stirring his
soul. As his gaze settled on her, he realized that her eyes were closed, worry lines evident around her
mouth. He reached towards her, his hand straying towards her face, her cheek. His fingertips made contact
just as her eyes opened.
Out of sorrow entire worlds have been built
Out of longing great wonders have been willed
They're only little tears, darling, let them spill
And lay your head upon my shoulder
Outside my window the world has gone to war
Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
Tears ran down Mulder's face as he caressed Scully's cheek, his eyes drilling into hers. He was surprised
to feel moisture on her cheek, hadn't noticed that she was also crying. He turned on the couch, using
both hands to cup her face. As he stared at her in wonder, he felt her hands come to his. He feared that
she meant to pull them away, to break contact with him.
O we will know, won't we?
The stars will explode in the sky
O but they don't, do they?
Stars have their moment and then they die
Mulder exhaled sharply as he felt Scully shift on the couch, turning to face him, her hands still on his. Her
eyes had closed again, and he could hear her breathing harshly, trying to control her tears. He shifted
his hands and began wiping the droplets away with his thumbs, absorbing her pain. Abruptly, he felt her
withdraw her hands from his, fear welling up in him that she was going to leave. His eyes fluttered
closed, not wanting to see her run from him, and he did not see her reach towards him. His eyes shot open
as he felt her hands come to rest on his cheeks, mirroring his own on hers. She began wiping his tears as
he had hers.
There's a man who spoke wonders though I've never met him
He said, "He who seeks finds and who knocks will be let in"
I think of you in motion and just how close you are getting
And how every little thing anticipates you
All down my veins my heart-strings call
Are you the one that I've been waiting for?
Mulder applied pressure to Scully's cheeks, drawing her nearer to him. He tilted his head and leaned into
her, his lips touching hers for a brief moment before withdrawing, ready to retreat completely if necessary.
He watched the emotion play across her face as the gravity of his actions hit her. Her eyes opened and met
his, her face offering an invitation to him to take what he would. They both smiled longingly before moving
towards each other.
Their second kiss lasted longer than the first, containing years of want and need. As they broke apart,
Scully shifted, her head came to rest on Mulder's chest, over his heart. Her hands came to rest on him as
well, one on his chest, the other on his stomach. His arms wrapped around her, holding her to him.
"Mulder, I..."
"I know, Scully, I know."
Mulder brought his head to rest on top of hers, his eyes closing as he felt Scully's breathing slow, her
muscles relax into him. He knew that their demons would not come to torment them this night.
They slept that way through the night.
Fin
First published - 7/19/00