Far Away
Remus POV
Another death in the order, except it is the leader himself. Albus Dumbledore is dead. No one saw it coming until it was told. I was greatly shocked of this lose and it felt as all hope has been erased. The Weasley's Harry. Everyone seems to have given up. Bill has been severely injured at the hand of Fenrir Greyback. That bastard has not he caused enough turmoil. Bill had woken up only moments ago and was immediately surrounded by his mother and his fiancée. If only it was that easy. Bill had it so easy, yes, Greyback may have injured him, but he will not be turning into a horrid beast once a month.
"Bill! I have been worried sick!" Molly exclaimed
"Of course you were mum, what have I missed?"
Molly took the chance to glare at me, "Dumbledore's dead."
Bill's shock was evident and he even took opportunity to glance at me.
"How?"
"Snape."
"Snape! I knew he was always a bastard."
"Bill!"
"What he killed Dumbledore! He, he seemed like, I don't know how to put it."
The room fell eerily silent and I stared at the cursed half moon. The moon, my own personal hell.
"Where's Tonks?"
I immediately froze and I ignored the outburst by Bill.
"Well, she ran out of here about twenty minutes ago and no one's seen er since."
"Why did she run, we all know that we are probably going to have to kick the kids out and have an Order Meeting."
"Well, someone made her leave."
Bill fell silent and I could practically feel his gaze and Molly's glare at the back of my head.
"Would you like to tell him Remus?"
"No, I would rather not Molly."
"He's rejected her again."
"Molly,"
"I don't understand you Remus Lupin, she's tried giving herself to you many times and you have always rejected her! I know you love her, but you just will not let her come into your life. What's stopping you?"
"You know them Molly."
"Yes, and they're horrible. If you push her away at least come up with better excuses."
"You have to give in Remus."
"I can't do it. I mustn't she just isn't thinking clearly from the war and all."
"Remus, you being away from her is killing her! She can't morph, her patronus has changed, she's not sleeping, just give in Remus! Your excuses are ridiculous. I can't watch her suffer anymore."
"I can't for her sake. My excuses are trying to protect her." My eyes met Molly's for a second and were quickly averted to a different scene.
Dora standing at the entrance of the Hospital Wing covered in blood. Her hands came out of her pockets and they were worse than her clothing. She seemed to be shaking and mind controlled.
"Help."
She collapsed.
Everyone seemed to be moving all at once.
"Get Pomphry!"
"Oh my god!"
"Someone get her up!"
I ran to her and picked her up onto a bed.
"Move! Move!" Madame Pomphry pushed everyone aside
She ripped her cloak off her body and shooed all of us away as she made a curtain between us.
"See Remus! You are so concerned about hurting her, when all along you've been pushing her and pushing her to this point! You're afraid the wolf will hurt her, when the human side of you has been killing her all along!" Molly's face was bright red and everyone was staring at me.
I pushed everyone aside and left the hospital wing hastily heading straight for the boys toilets. I pushed the doors open and grasped a sink in my hand. I looked deathly pale, even paler the day after a full moon. I reached to turn on the faucet when I finally realized my hands were covered in blood. Her blood. My stomach lurched and I dashed to a toilet to throw up all the contents in my stomach. I felt horrible sick, I felt diseased. I am a bastard. A cruel man, who doesn't deserve Dora's love and kindness. I lay on the floor of the stall for a few more minutes but it was actually hours. My thoughts were swimming.
"Professor? Are you in here?"
Harry's thought interrupted and I finally had enough strength to pick myself off the floor.
"Yes, Harry?"
"No offense Professor, but you look horrible."
"Thanks Harry, I know."
He nodded and left the room awkwardly.
I sighed noticed I still have not washed the blood off my hands. Almost ready to vomit again, I washed my hands furiously, and walked out the boys toilets. I walked back into the hospital wing and was surprised to see Dora was not in the Hospital Wing.
"She wanted to go back to her room. I do not know why, but I wrapped her hands up and she went back to her room without a word. She wouldn't even let me magically heal her wounds."
"Thanks Poppy."
I walked to her room in a daze unsure what I was going to say to her. What could I say to her? I stop in front of her door unsure what to do. Surprisingly, I heard music.
This time, This placeMisused, MistakesToo long, Too lateWho was I to make you waitJust one chanceJust one breathJust in case there's just one left'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love youI have loved you all alongAnd I miss youBeen far away for far too longI keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never goStop breathing if I don't see you anymore
I heard her shuffling around in her room, and I take the chance to knock on the door in between the chorus. I can hear her hesitates even with the music. The door opens in front of me and she is standing there, unchanged. I involuntarily start to vomit again of the sight of her blood stained shirt.
"What."
Her voice sounds tired and yet still so beautiful.
One my knees, I'll askLast chance for one last dance'Cause with you, I'd withstandAll of hell to hold your handI'd give it allI'd give for usGive anything but I won't give up'Cause you know, you know, you know
"Please Dora, hear me out."
"I think I've heard enough of you lately."
That I love youI have loved you all alongAnd I miss youBeen far away for far too longI keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never goStop breathing if I don't see you anymore
I shut my eyes and sigh.
She walks away again and starts with what she was previously doing.
I walk into her room and shut the door behind me. The room is a mess. Clothes strewn everywhere, glass shattered, and a muggle radio set up on the side blasting the song.
"Dora, please."
"Please what Remus! What do you have to stay to me this time! Oh, I'm sorry Nymphadora you're just too ugly, and weird for me to possibly love you!"
I see red and I am suddenly holding Dora in my arms.
"Don't ever say that." I sneered
She looks at me and rips herself from my arms and storms into the bathroom. I noticed the mirror was shattered and there was broken glass everywhere covered in blood. She used a broom to sweep all the glass into a little pile.
"Let me do that Dora, I know you're terrible at Household Spells."
She met my eyes for a second and let me proceed. I cast a quick spell and turned around. She was taking off the bloody shirt and putting on a new one. I was frozen. She had the most wonderful body, tone stomach, though it looked too skinny and wonderful curves. She quickly threw another shirt over her head and turned around.
"Look, Remus. I understand. Your reasons are purely your own, and I can't crack them. I realize that you will never love me the way I love you. So do yourself the favor and leave."
I was too shocked. I knew I lost her then and thee. It was my god damn bloody fault to.
So far awayBeen far away for far too longSo far awayBeen far away for far too longBut you know, you know, you know
I listen to the lyrics as I open the door. I look back at her and see her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. The song made sense to me every word, and somehow I could sing the lyrics in my head before they came out of the radio. I stalked towards her and wrapped my arms around her waist, and into her ear, I whispered…
I wantedI wanted you to stay'Cause I neededI need to hear you sayThat I love youI have loved you all alongAnd I forgive youFor being away for far too longSo keep breathing'Cause I'm not leavingHold on to me and, never let me go
"You should definitely be singing this to me, since I was the one left you, but somehow I can picture this song in my head, so please, please Dora, hold on to me and never let me go."
She turned to face me, and I leant down to kiss her. She tasted like salt, obviously from her tears, but she also tasted exquisite, her own taste.
"I love you."
The words I have been reluctant to say to her, reluctant to even think about, but know that I loved her with all my soul was finally let free. And for once, I felt like a free man.
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