DESCLAIMER: [{Obviously, I don't own Princess Tutu. If I did, Fakir would be my filthy-dirty-lover in the night. And, as I know, he's not. …Yet.}]
~Tears of the Swan~
My heat was breaking.
Slowly shattering from the inside out- I could feel it. It was suffocating me. Every inch of my boy was in pain, every cell was crying. Tears cascaded from my eyes, down my cheeks and past my chin. /Splash, splash,/ they hit the ground.
I looked up. The sky was dark, and the clouds were a deep gray. I tried to stop the flow of tears, tried to escape the sorrow that overcame me. My attempts were in vain, it seemed.
I whispered to the trees;
"Mytho… why… why was I cursed like this…?" The tears started anew, with a fresh feeling of misery. His golden, amber eyes were all around me; I could feel his pure white hair between my fingers. His lips, if only I could touch them… just once, then I could die happy. He was gone, to never be mine. Never to be with the accursed "duck" of the story. The heroin in disguise. The princess in hiding.
Me.
I sighed, pulling my legs tighter to my chest, as the wind tousled my red hair. I pushed a few locks out of my eyes and wiped any stray tears. It wouldn't have mad a difference, they were still flowing.
I was still feeling.
"Is anyone out there?" My heart stopped. I knew that voice anywhere.
Pulling myself closer to the tree I rested on, I held my breath and tried to keep quiet. If he found me, I'd have to explain my swollen eyes and puffy face. I didn't want to do that, I wouldn't be able to without crying!
His footsteps were getting closer. I shut my eyes tightly, and hugged my body to itself. I didn't want him here, I didn't want anyone here. I wanted to be alone.
"Is anyone here?" He repeated. I didn't move, didn't breathe. Only the wind ruffled my uniform, but it didn't make a sound. His footsteps stopped, and I felt tears brimming in the corner of my eyes.
Nothing moved, nothing made a sound. The wind halted, the trees were still. He had stopped moving, and I held in my breathe with all the strength I had.
"…Ahiru?" My body tensed. I lifted my head lightly, and took in a shaky breath, whispering,
"Hello, Fakir-sama." I turned my head back to looking at the grass, and I felt the tension between us thicken. He had obviously seen my eyes, and just by that he could tell I was crying. Anyone smart enough to know how to breathe would have noticed. His voice was shaky,
"Um… are you…" He hesitated, "What are you doing out here so late?" I unclenched my body lightly, but not all the way. My hands rested on my shoes, and I felt the tears starting up again. MY voice was broken,
"N-nothing." He didn't make another noise for a good five minutes. When he did move, it was to sit next to me, under the tree. My eyes filled to the brim with tears, but they didn't fall. Not yet.
"Are you okay?" His voice was a whisper, the anger and rage that usually laces it gone. I nodded, but then shook my head. The tears fell,
"No." I wrapped my arms around my self once more, and cried silently into them. I couldn't take it anymore; why was I brought into the story, if I'm just… destined to fall in love with the Prince, but never have him? I only want to see Mytho happy… but I want to be able to make him happy.
I hate it.
Fakir was silent. He moved closer to me, and put a tan arm around my shoulders. The gesture shocked me, but I leaned into him and cried harder. He hugged me awkwardly like that, under the stars in the Academy's garden.
It was oddly… nice.
"F-Fakir.." I hiccupped, and stopped leaning on him. I wiped my tears and gave the smallest of smiles to him. He blinked,
"Are you alright now?" I nodded, inhaling,
"I'm… sorry for that. I didn't mean to cry like that in front of you, let alone /on/ you." I giggled softly, cradling my right hand in my left.
He sighed lightly, looking at the stars,
"Don't mention it. I come here to calm down after a storm, too. Mostly when it's raining," He looked to me and smirked, "You should try that next time. No one would know you're crying." I giggled softly and sighed, looking at the sky as well. He kept looking at me, "Why were you crying anyways?"
"…A boy." I bit the inside of my lip and gave a small smile, "I was just a little upset. It's nothing." I looked to him and grinned. He cocked his dark, slender eye brow, but blew it off. After a few minutes of comforting silence, he spoke again,
"You.. You know.. If you ever need to talk about it, you know where to find me." With that, he stood, shoved his hands in his pockets and sauntered out of the garden. I smiled softly, looking at the sky and resting against the tree again.
"Maybe… maybe I'll take you up on that offer, Fakir-sama."