I was bored so I decided to write this. Read review no flames.

When the President is bored

Ch 1 Golfing…

Rufus Shinra sighed sounding bored as he scribbled some random notes on a piece of paper that occupied his desk. He pressed the button on his intercom. "Reno."

"Yes sir?"

"I'm bored."

"And what do you want me to sir?"

"I don't know. Got any ideas?"

"No not really sir."

Rufus gasped then shut off the intercom and ran out of his office. "I have great idea let's go golfing."

The four Turks looked at Rufus frowning.

"Golfing sir?" asked Tseng.

"I'm sorry sir but that sounds boring as hell." Said Reno

"Well rich people go golfing and I'm rich there fore I golf." He said opening a closet and pulled a set of clubs and five pares of golf outfits.

"We can't golf, the plaid pants will clash with Reno's hair." Said Elena.

"Shut up!" yelled Reno

"Both of you quite it." Said Tseng.

"We are going golfing deal with it." Said Rufus

"But I don't wana." Whined Reno

"To bad. Get the chopper ready and but the golf clothes on." Said Rufus leaving.

"Shoot me." All four of the Turks said at the same time.

"I heard that!" he called.

"Sorry sir!" they all said.

At the golf course…

"You." Said Rufus pointing at Rude. "Carry these." He said handing him the golf clubs.

"Yes sir." He said adjusting them so he could carry them.

"You." He said pointing at Elena. "Bring me water when I need it."

"Yes sir." She sighed.

"You." He said pointing at Tseng. "Golf with me." He said handing him a club.

"Yes sir."

"All right let's golf."

"What about me?" asked Reno.

Rufus turned and stared at the redheaded Turk. "Umm… drive the golf cart."

"Yes sir."

"Now let's golf!"

The golf course was pretty vacant (Rufus bought up the whole thing so he wouldn't have to share it with anyone)

"Where to?" asked Reno

"The first hole, duh." Said Rufus.

"And that would be where?"

"Just drive!" yelled Tseng.

"Fine." He said sarcastically. He pushed in the gas petal as far as it could go and drove at an irate speed.

"Reno slow down!" yelled Rufus.

"What?" he asked looking back.

To Rufus horror he realized Reno had in his headphones and was listening to some loud rock music.

"Oh no." They all said.

"Stop the damn cart right now Reno!" yelled Tseng kicking the back of Reno's chair causing him to lose control and crash into the lake.

"Reno." Stated Rufus.

"Yes?"

"You are an idiot."

"I know sir."

"Reno when we get out of this I am going to kill you." Said Elena.

"No I am going to kill him." Said Tseng

Rude simply grunted.

"I'm sorry guys." Said Reno

"Okay I know we are playing 'blame Reno' right now but the president would love to get out of here." Said Rufus

"Get the president out." Said Tseng in an 'I order you' tone of voice.

Rude climbed out of the cart first thankfully not causing it to sink further. He reached back in there and pulled Rufus out.

"Thanks." He said as he jumped over to dry land.

Next Rude pulled out Elena, followed by Tseng, then lastly Reno.

"I think my foot's stuck on the gas petal." Said Reno.

"Reno get your skinny ass out of that cart now!" yelled Rufus.

"Sir my foot is stuck." Said Reno.

"Well get it unstuck."

The Turks looked at Rufus.

"Blonde to the core." Mumbled Tseng.

"Excuse me?" asked Rufus

"Your excused sir." Said Reno as he finally got himself unstuck. "Victory is mine!" he yelled as Rude pulled him out of the cart but he pressed in the gas petal sending the golf cart half way across the pond. "Oops."

"Don't worry about it. Are you okay?" asked Rufus.

"Yes." Said Reno.

"Good. Now you do realize I will never let you drive anything again right?"

"But I'm your only pilot."

"Well… stay away from golf carts."

"Will do sir." Said Reno saluting him.

Rufus frowned "That's enough of that. Come on we're burning day light." No sooner had he finished that sentences and turned around he heard a noise. He paused. "What was that?"

"The ducks in the lake." Said Reno.

"Ducks?" asked Rufus who turned around.

"Those aren't ducks those are geese." Said Tseng.

"They're so cute!" shrieked Elena.

"They are only water fowl."

One of the geese made this purring/quaking like noise.

"AW!" said Reno making the other men give him a strange look. "What they're cute!"

"Reno." Sighed Rude shaking his head.

"Wait." He reached into his pocket and dug out a candy bar.

"Oh man Reno you carry a candy bar around with you." Said Tseng sounding a bit annoyed.

"Yes sir." He said opening it.

"Explains a lot." Sighed Rufus.

"And you guys thought I only carried cigarettes around." Said Reno breaking a piece of the candy bar off and offered it to the geese.

"You're giving it to them?" asked Rufus

"Yeah. I don't want it."

"What a waste of a candy bar!"

The goose took the candy greedily. "Do you want the rest sir?" He asked handing back the candy bar, which he had also, took a piece from for himself.

"Yes I do I'm hungry." He said taking it.

The other three Turks frowned.

"Okay I'll spilt it." He said breaking it up into pieces.

The geese saw this and began to walk towards them.

"Oh look they are walking towards us." Said Reno getting ready to eat his piece of the candy bar.

The geese glared at him.

"It's mine birdbrains." He said turning away from them.

One hissed at him.

"Go away will ya!" he yelled baking away the geese kept walking towards them.

Another hissed all of them were staring at Rufus who still had the candy bar wrapper.

"Hmmm?" he asked tilting his head to one side staring at the bird.

It hissed.

"I hate geese." He mumbled then took a bit out of the candy bar.

"Why?" asked Tseng who was being to worry about the feathered army walking towards them.

"When I was four one chased me." He said eating more of the candy bar.

"Maybe we should go sir." Said Rude by the time Rude said that Rufus was gone leaving only that darn candy bar wrapper.

One goose made a quacking like noise another hissed.

"Run?" asked Reno

"Yes." Said Tseng.

All four Turks ran yelling. "Mister President wait for us!"

And that's the end of the first chapter. Read review no flames please. If you were wondering where I came up with this idea. I had been wanting to write a humor fic for a long time but couldn't think of nothing then one day me and my friends were out for a drive when I saw a golf course and I said 'I wonder if Rufus golfs' Then I thought of this mess of confusion, the goose thing was a suggestion from another friend of mine, we were attacked by geese when we had a picnic and no, we didn't have candy bars that was some random food item that popped into my head.