Standard disclaimers apply.
A/N: Crisis Core is the devil. The absolute devil, I'm telling you.
I actually wrote this one way back in August as a feel-better gift for my Sempai. I didn't think much of it then, basically that it was a total cheesefest, really. But it warmed my heart. It still warms my heart. And for what it's worth, a lot of it is true. :)
One Time
There was this one time, the first time he took you under his wing… Remember? Your unit had pitched camp in the mountains of somewhere, and a little after midnight you snuck out together. Your first assignment, maybe… or was that too early? Could it have been your second?
It doesn't really matter.
At any rate, your unit had pitched camp in the mountains of somewhere. You snuck out together a little after midnight, blaming the cold and a mutual restlessness to which neither of you would admit.
It had been snowing all day, you remember, but by that time he had taught you how to walk so that it didn't crunch too loudly underfoot. And you were laughing as you went, you remember—about what, you still don't know—but a wind picked up the sound and bore it away. So it goes without saying that your passage went pretty much unnoticed—you two long, ink-dark shadows on the paper-white backdrop, snickering like little boys into the thickness of your standard-issue scarves and hoods.
Well, he'd started it. Never mind that soon—soon enough—you found yourself laughing along, just as furtively.
You walked… a long while? A short while? It might or might not have been a great distance; you only remember the cliff at the end of it. You remember the sharp thrust of the rock as it fell away from the mountain and became empty air, the world unfolding mile by mile below. You remember that—you remember being able to see…
"Everything." He drew up beside you, mouth still hitched in a grin. "We can see everything from up here."
That smile warmed you all the way through; you felt your face twist a little bit, in return. Only a little, because how it happened wasn't something you fully understood, but that was okay.
"Yeah," you said, just loudly enough to hear. "Everything can see us, too, can't it?"
"Sure." He shrugged as he folded himself down onto the snow, motioning that you should follow and that what the world could see wasn't all that important… Not right now, anyway. "But who cares, really?"
Who cares?
A moment's hesitation. Never more than a moment, because he had a way about him that never let it drag on any longer, and…
The snow crunched softly as you sat, drew up one knee, rested your chin on it. You reached for a little bit and stared at the whiteness; he watched and never complained. Never said a word about how quiet you were. About how you had to care that everything could see everything about you, just then, and how troubling you thought it was.
"…Hey. Penny for your thoughts, Spiky."
Well, maybe once.
"Hmm?"
"Just wanna make sure you don't fall asleep on me, you know? I probably wouldn't be able to tell. You're so still." The grin was still there when you looked up—half in apology, maybe. "What're you thinking about?"
"Hmm."
You bit down on your lower lip, still sifting the snow through gloved fingers, trying to think about how it showed up so luminous in the moonlight so you could tell him that and not any of the other things.
He had a way about him that made you want to hide in his shadow. And you knew that; it made you fold yourself up that much tighter, suddenly tiny and embarrassed and, well… so awkward.
"…Tomorrow, I guess," was what you said, at last. "Tomorrows."
But he also had a way about him that knew tomorrow meant every day, and this is all still a little strange to me, and don't you ever…?
And he smiled like he understood, like he wanted to tell you Of course I do.
"Mm. That's why," was what he said, after a little while. "I get it. You're… What's the word?"
A moment's pause, while he thought, while you waited because you didn't know what the word was any more than he did. Not right then.
"I think, since this is all so new… All this, I mean, you know. Being away from home and shit—pardon me." He scratched his head, chuckled a little in spite of the seriousness in his eyes. "It's kinda like you're lost, huh?"
A moment's hesitation before you nodded.
"And you get a funny feeling, right around…" A closed fist, gently striking the hollow of his chest. "…here? Kind of lopsided-like?"
Another nod. You didn't want to say anything, because you knew that even your voice was going to come out small. And that when it did, you were going to hate yourself for it so much you'd want to keel over and never get up.
"Yeah, I know that feeling well enough." An open hand, settling on your head, ruffling your hair almost with affection. "It goes away after a while, Spike. Take it from me. It's just the waiting that kind of… kind of sucks. Yeah?
"But it does go away, I swear," he added, hastily, when he saw the flicker of expression in your face—gravitating somewhere between horror and incredulity that maybe there was something all-knowing Zack did not know. "If you work hard. I know they feed you stuff like that all the time and it doesn't seem very true, but I'm telling you. It'll make you a pro before you get time to figure out what changed."
And you had to push yourself against the urge to lean into that hand. This was all still a little strange to you.
"You mean like you."
"Yeah, exactly like me. Like Zack."
A moment's pause before you laughed, both of you. A moment's pause before he winked at you, gave you that first cheerful thumbs-up.
"There," he said. "You see? Gone."
That made you smile. He had a way about him that made you smile
"'Sides," he said, reaching out to rumple your hair again, "nobody messes with you while I'm around."
He also had a way about him that made you roll your eyes, torn between frustration and another outbreak of mirth.
"Zaaaack."
"Ugh, Cloud."
Fin
