Shafted – a fanfic totally acknowledging that Rokujo Miyuki got shafted, and Tamao as well.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my laptop which I use to make up for the lack of depth into certain Strawberry Panic! characters ^.^

Light shined through the curtains despite Rokujo Miyuki's attempt to keep it out by closing the curtains. It was not that she did not enjoy the daylight, simply that at the moment, she couldn't stand the idea that it would light up things she did not want to see. Everything within her ached as if it was abused, and in a way it was. Her head was abused, made to think every waking moment, her body was abused, forced to continue one when it begged for rest, and her heart was abused, forced to keep giving while not getting anything back in return. And soon, it would be dinner time, or rather, time to abuse herself again for the benefit of others. For now though, she just wanted to hide. A soft knock on the door pulled Miyuki from her thoughts slightly, but she didn't make a sound still unwilling to let her moments of peace go.

"Miyuki?"

Of all the voices to float past her door, Miyuki was shocked to hear this one. Even though she and Shizuma had known each other for so long, it always seemed as if Shizuma was completely unaware of her moods, especially her pain. Somewhat hopeful, Miyuki waited for a knock, willing to let her beloved Shizuma-sama in to her dark, brightening her somehow through her transitive brilliance, but the knock never came. Closing her eyes Miyuki let out a deep breath. Shizuma-sama was Shizuma –sama, there was no change in her. With her attention on Nagisa as it had been on Kaori, she still was unaware of Miyuki's pain.

Slowly Miyuki opened her eyes, aware that her brief respite was over. It was dinner time, and her appearance was never negotiable. Moving to stand in front of the mirror Miyuki looked at her darkened reflection and carefully schooled her features. It was Shizuma, no, Etoille-sama's job to skip out and be unreliable. It was her job to be there and be reliable. Nodding once to her reflection, reassuring herself of her readiness, Miyuki walked to her door, and then walked out of her sanctuary.

The long feeling, yet short walk to the dining hall was spent keeping her expression calm and refined, but with that hint of warmth that made her so liked by the students. And for most, the expression was enough to perpetuate her myth as the rock in the storm. Glancing across the dining hall Miyuki immediately was caught in a gaze by Shizuma, and she understood the message. Walking towards those hypnotizing eyes Miyuki cursed herself for being so helpless when it came to Hanazono Shizuma, but loved that those eyes looked at her that way – even if it only contained friendship. It was friendship she didn't think she could do without.

As she sat down she was greeted by a smiling Nagisa which soothed her aching heart a little. If she had to give up hope on her Shizuma-sama, than she would only allow it to be for Nagisa. Nagisa was a girl who was deserving of happiness, and Miyuki, as much as she wished to, couldn't grudge her that. And of course, with Nagisa were her roommate Tamao, and the various friends of theirs from all of the schools. The cheery group chattered like normal, and while Miyuki kept quiet as normal, she slowly began feeling stronger, pushing away her troubles. Not only did she seeks solace in silence, but she sought solace in joy. Miyuki had learned that wallowing in depression only hurt more, and in her long lonely years watching Shizuma turn to everyone but her, she learned to hide in happiness.

****

Tamao watched her friends interact around her jealous that they all seemed unaffected by the events of the election as she herself was. Even Yaya seemed upbeat, lavishing all of her attention on the younger Tsubomi, and of course, were the disheartening displays between Hikari and Amane. Nothing they did was overt, but Amane's pure presence was a signal of the changes that had occurred.

Changes. Tamao was trying hard to ignore the changes just on her right. No longer was Nagisa hers during lunch, which Tamao thought was unfair. Before, Nagisa was always with Shizuma before classes, after classes, but lunch was a time for them. And now it was gone. Trying to keep up a strong face Tamao tried to strike up conversation with her best friend, because, no matter what they would always be friends. Just, sometimes it hurt.

"So you're not running off again tonight are you?" Tamao asked her voice filled with hope though she tried to keep it out. "You keep missing our tea parties, and it is getting lonely without you." Turning red at the attention drawn to her night wanderings to Shizuma, Nagisa stuttered before she gave a coherent reply much to the amusement of the others at the table. Tamao on the other hand was waiting for an answer with bated breath. Unfortunately for Tamao, Nagisa's answer was not one she wanted to hear.

"Uh, how can you be lonely? It seems everyone wants to come now, I'm sure I'd just make it a crowd." Tamao felt her heart drop more at Nagisa's answer. It didn't matter that people surrounded her, she was lonely without Nagisa. As everyone rushed to reassure her and even offer for her to bring Shizuma, Tamao felt a little light headed. It was as if a pressure was shooting from her chest up to her head, Tamao was sure she'd just explode right there. But a hand on her shoulder brought her back from her mind's confused wanderings.

"Suzumi-san, I have a favor to ask." Tamao looked up and was caught by dazzling hazel eyes that seemed to simmer with understanding. Standing up on instinct Tamao let herself be led out of the room, deaf to questions that she vaguely heard being deflected by Rokujo-sama. Eventually they both came to a stop at an unfamiliar room, and still somewhat dazed Tamao was ushered inside.

"This is my room," Rokujo-sama explained simply, and when Tamao didn't respond, she was ushered inside. "Sit down, try to calm down. Then we'll talk." Tamao tried to respond but just couldn't muster the words. A gentle hand then pushed on her shoulder and she was sitting on the bed. Again she tried to speak but once more, nothing happened. She could only sit and try and hold back the avalanche of her feelings, because she was afraid that if she didn't then she would simply explode.