Author's notes: The story resumes in Year Two. At this stage, Jim is 20 and Blair is 17. I would like to Thank my beta, Galadriel, who makes my stories a lot more interesting. All mistakes belong to me.
Jim couldn't believe the summer was finally over. It had seemed like it had lasted forever. Throwing his belongings on his dorm room bed he went over and turned on the air conditioner. Whew! It's hot this year. Stripping out of his clothes he thought he would take a quick shower to cool down. I wonder when Sandburg will get in? I thought he'd be here by now. Jim had worried all summer about his roommate. The kid was way too young to be running all over the world with that whacked out mom of his.
Shutting the door to keep the room cool, he walked to the men's bathroom. Turning on the cool water, he could feel the water soothing his frayed nerves. Those exercises that the Chief had recommended had helped a lot. Breathe in and out. Again. Breath in and out. He could remember the exact tone of Blair's voice. Not only his voice, he could remember his smell. A slight tangy hint of herbs and sandalwood. The feel of Blair's hand on his arm. The touch bringing peace and a strong hint of control. Shaking his head he stepped out of the shower, drying himself off. Walking back to the room, he caught the hint of a heartbeat coming from his room. Hurrying, he opened the door to see a strange young man lying on Sandburg's bed.
"Who're you? Can I help you?"
"Hi, I'm your new roommate, Jack Bayliss." The young man held out his hand to shake Jim's.
"There's been some mistake. I already have a roommate. His name's Blair Sandburg. You'll have to go back to the office an get a transfer." Jim sat down on his bed looking at him. "Well, go on."
"But, they said your roommate had canceled coming back this year. I mean... they said there wouldn't be a problem." The young man stuttered to a halt at the look on his roommate's face.
"Well, you got it wrong. I'm going to the office, get out!" Jim hurriedly dressed and slammed out of the room with his heart racing. The Chief would've told him. The office had screwed up again.
The registrar's office was halfway across Campus but it didn't take Jim long to get there. Finding his old girlfriend Caroline, he made a beeline to her desk, turning on the charm. "Caroline, I've got a problem. Maybe you could help me?"
"Jim, hi, it's nice to see you. I thought you were going to call me over the summer break." Caroline drank in the sight of her old lover. A hunk would have to be the only word for him. Those light blue eyes, that body that really knew how to turn her on and not to mention being Captain of the Football team.
"I need to know about Sandburg. My roommate from last year. The U. screwed up and gave me the wrong roommate. So fix it for me sweetie." Jim smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss.
"Let me check." Caroline called up Blair's info on the computer. "Jim, it says that Sandburg was listed as your roommate, but his tuition wasn't paid this year through his scholarships. It appears that he didn't turn in the applications on time during the summer. He's been placed in unauthorized status for the time being.
" He's supposed to be in Mexico City. It's got to be his stupid mom. Listen, reinstate him as my roomie, he will be here next Monday, if I have to go get him myself. I'll cover his tuition for this semester until he can get his scholarships worked out." Jim found a phone and called his bank. Thank god for his grandparent's trust fund.
Jim arrived in Mexico City the next day. The exhaustion from hassling his attorneys for the money and getting packed to catch a plane was enough to tire anyone. The last address he was able to find on Naomi was in the south part of the City. Standing on the curb, wishing for a hot shower, he hailed the first cab he could find. "I need this address." Shoving the address in front of the cabdriver, he leaned back against the upholstery taking a much-needed rest. The driver grunted, "Si," and they took off into the chaos of traffic. Thirty minutes and forty-five dollars later, the cab stopped at a large residential mansion. Jim breathed a sigh of relief, at least the kid wasn't living in poverty.
A quick ring of the doorbell brought a pretty maid to the door. "Hello, I'm looking for Blair Sandburg." The maid tilted her head, as if trying to understand the words.
"Si, Blair Sandburg, no here."
"What? I mean...where's Sandburg? Is there anyone else I can talk to?" Jim tried looking behind her but she kept the door firmly held in check.
"No, all gone. Holiday." The maid tried to shut the door but Jim pushed back against her.
"Just tell me where?" Jim looked down into her brown eyes and smiled. "Please, I need help. I'm looking for my friend Blair, I have to find him."
The maid's smile dimpled, "Gone to Europe. Last month." She watched the young man's smile die out of his eyes. "Sorry. Ms. Sandburg wanted to go to retreat in the mountains." Shrugging her shoulders, she shut the door.
Jim leaned against the door. "Damn you, Chief. Why didn't you stay here?" Sighing, he got back in the cab and ordered him to go to the nearest hotel.
Blair sat huddled around a small campfire trying to get warm. His mom and he had been split up at a neighboring town. The Serbs had been taking men from the villages so they decided to leave the retreat and escape with the refugees. I told her we shouldn't have come to Kosovo, oh no, she knew best. Just a small retreat to meditate before school started again. I've missed my dates to turn in my applications for my scholarships. Blair sniffed, awkwardly rubbing his eyes.
He was so tired, he wanted to lay down and rest, but he was afraid of some of the men. He'd thought he was going to die, but now he knew he would make it, if he could just find his mom. Where could she be? Maybe they would find each other at the border. Listening to the men, he finally found one he thought he could trust. Making his way over to him, he proposed a plan to get him home. The man listened slowly to Sandburg but didn't know if it was worth his time to help the young man.
"Listen, if you help me, I can get you some free supplies. My mom knows some influential people. You'll get everything you need, okay?" Blair held his breath.
"Will you let me have you? Are you a virgin?" The man glazed eyes centered on Blair. Such a young sweet boy. "Well, what do you say, bebe?" The man's hand grabbed Blair's leg.
"No. I'm not into that." Blair spoke gruffly trying to keep his fear at bay. He scooted back a few feet away from the man.
"No? You are missing out, my bebe," shrugging he continued, "Okay, we leave at midnight. Better to walk in the dark, than to be a target of the Serbs. Be ready." The man turned away from him to converse with his comrades.
Blair breathed a sigh of relief. Unzipping his backpack he pulled out his journal.
Kosovo: I've been extremely terrified on finding myself in a war situation, but now have hope of returning home soon to the States. Rainier University awaits me. I have found that I miss my friend Jim Ellison, more than I would have thought possible. Note to self: stay away from Mom's idea of vacation spots next year.
Several days later, Blair found himself in a Red Cross Camp. Adding his name to the missing persons list, he knew his mother would be frantically looking for him. Pushing the camp tent flap up, he entered a sea of humanity, people on stretchers crying for help, small children sitting in a circle staring into space. Everyone in need of care. Throwing his backpack down in a corner, he washed his hands at a small table that held a basin of water, and dove into the mass of refugees. Helping hands were always needed.
Jim swore as the bus ground to a halt. He'd been searching for days for his roommate. He had found Naomi at a Hotel in Austria. Trying to make sense of how she and Blair had become separated, he finally just told her to shut up. "Naomi, you're not fit to be a cat. Your kid's out in a war zone if he's still alive."
"Don't speak to me like that Jim. You might know my son as a roommate but I'm his mother. I'll tell him what to do. Just keep out of our way." Naomi's breath caught in a sob. She was so afraid something bad had happened to her baby.
"Damn it, don't cry. I'm going to find Blair and then he's going back to Cascade with me, to return to school. You messed up his grants but I've covered for him, for the time being. Are we agreed?" An agreement was reached that he would notify her as soon as Blair was found, but it would be the Chief's choice.
He had almost given up hope. He'd no idea there'd been this many refugee camps. Checking the Red Cross tent, he ran his finger down the list of names. "Blair Sandburg". Jim rested his head against the bulletin board. He'd found his name. Going through the rows of bodies, he listened to heartbeats. Trying to breathe shallowly, the smell was almost overpowering. A weak feeling came over him. Two hands gently helped him sit down, and he was offered a drink of water. Raising his head to say, "Thank you," he looked up into the blue eyes of his friend.
"Chief." The words barely uttered from his throat, when he had a handful of Blair Sandburg in his arms. Hugging back just as hard, he lifted the face to stare into Blair's eyes. They were red, swimming in tears. Wiping them gently, he pulled the face down to him. "You little brat, do you know what I've gone through to find you?" The words could have been a caress.
"Jim, I can't believe you came all this way for me. Are we going home?"
"Yes. We're both going to be late starting classes but you'll definitely pull us through. Got it?"
Blair chuckled softly. "Yes, Jim." Smiling so hard he felt his face would split, he again hugged his best friend.
As night fell, Blair and Jim found a place to set up a sleeping bag to rest for the night. Settling down they crawled into the bag still dressed in their clothes. Pushing and shoving at each other, Blair finally pulled himself into a fetal position with Jim spooning behind him. "Blair, I got someone to send a telegram to your mom that you're fine and you'll be returning home with me. Is that okay?"
"Jim, I really wish I could but I missed the summer applications to get my scholarships next year. I wanted...to room with you." Tears sounded in his voice. "I'll miss you."
"No you won't. I checked on your grants and had them reinstate them. If there's any problem we deal with it, okay?"
"Jim!" Turning over Blair hugged Jim hard, planting a big kiss on his lips. "Thank you! I'm going home with you." Burrowing into Jim body he broke into sobs of happiness.
Jim held the young man in his arms. Tipping up his face he placed a small kiss lightly on his lips, feeling Blair's response, the kiss deepened. His hands ran over Blairs body, pushing him down underneath him. Frantically moving together, the young men could feel desire reaching out for them. The clothing restricted their movements causing both of them to pant heavily. "Stop, Chief." Jim pulled back away from him, "we have to stop. We're not exactly in private here." Pulling Blair to his side he whispered, "Go to sleep little one."
Thursday morning had them both back in class at Rainier. They were in their old dorm room. Things had settled down and since school had really just started they hadn't missed many classes. Mainly the teachers had just handed out their syllabuses.
The only problem so far was that Jim had been put on probation on his football team. He'd missed quite a few practices and the coach was going to make him an example.
"This sucks! Just really sucks, man. How could they do that to you? Your like, the Captain of the football team!" Blair was steamed that they had treated Jim this way.
"Well, that's CO-captain now, Chief. In case I decide to take off again. Don't let it bother you. You know being popular is not the be all and end all of things." Jim was amused at Blair's ferocious attitude.
"Humph, jerks! I want you to know Jim, this won't happen again! Next year I'm going to tell my mom, that no countries in crisis are on her list to visit." Blair shook his head in the affirmative.
Jim shuttered in horror. "Next year? Oh my, I hadn't even thought about it." Closing his eyes he tried to let the thought drift away.
"Listen, Jim, I have to go over to the Campus Computer Room to type up this program. I'll see you later, okay?" Blair grabbed his backpack and headed out the door, while Jim contemplated his fate.
The first game of the season was with Seattle. Jim had hoped Caroline would go with him to the dance afterwards, but she'd been a little cool since his fall from grace. Another problem was that she hated Blair Sandburg. Jim could see she had this completely illogical view of the Chief. Nothing he could say would change her mind. She blamed Sandburg for Jim losing the sole Captain status on the football team and tried to make Blair's life miserable. It had taken Jim a while to catch on, but he finally realized it when he'd gone to check on the Chief, late one night. Caroline had thrown a hissy fit saying he was babying his roommate to the point of idiocy. "Jim, Sandburg's in college, he doesn't need a father, a brother or a babysitter."
"Caroline, he's seventeen years old. It doesn't hurt for me to keep an eye out for him. Some people pick on him, they don't understand his goodness," Jim said pointedly.
"Jim, he's seventeen, you are 20. Think about it. Why's he your responsibility? He has a mom."
"Caroline, is mom's not fit to be a babysitter, let alone a mother. If I can help him, it shouldn't bother you one way or the other."
"Look, Jim, if you want me to remain your girlfriend you'd best keep Sandburg out of our conversations."
The strange thing was the longer he was around Sandburg the less he needed the company of Caroline. In a way this bothered him. He'd always considered himself heterosexual but lately watching Blair he found himself thinking of the ways his hands moved, the deep blue of his eyes. When he put on those ridiculous glasses he absolutely wanted to kiss him.
That night, trying to waylay his thoughts he went out with an attitude to slaughter the other team. They had two touchdowns and the score was tied in the final quarter. The ball flew wide and Jim intercepted the pass and began making his way to the end of the field. He was so focused on the goalpost that he didn't see the player running up beside him, until he felt himself falling. Hitting the ground he slid into a zone out. Lying still, he vaguely heard a whistle for a time-out. Men rushed out onto the field believing he was hurt. Jim lay quietly, completely immersed in nothing. "Jim, you okay?", Jim could hear his teammates talking to him, and then through the void he felt a soft voice telling him to breathe. "Just breathe Jim. That's right, I'm here. Listen to the sound of my voice. Breathe." Blair stood on the outside of the fence, wanting desperately to reach his friend. Pushing his way into the crowd of football players, he finally reached Jim's side. As they loaded Jim into the ambulance he felt his partner right beside him.
"I'm going with him. So, just start the damn ambulance." Blair's voice intruded into his ear.
"Chief? You okay?" he whispered.
Smiling down at Jim, Blair hugged his arm hard. "I'm fine and so are you. Just breathe and listen to my voice. You're going to be fine." The ambulance pulled into the emergency entrance. They unloaded Jim placing him in an ER room.
"Sir, you'll have to wait outside while the doctors examines him." Pushing Blair out of the way, they closed the door.
Blair walked back and forth in front of the door. He could hear the doctors talking but not clearly enough to understand them. A few minutes later, the nurse peeked her head out the door. "Please, we can't seem to calm him down, he keeps asking for you. Follow me."
Blair rushed to Jim's side. He was having an old-fashioned temper tantrum. "Jim, Jim!" Grabbing hold of Jim's hand, he talked calmly. "I'm right here, listen to me. Breathe and calm down." The doctors were amazed at how quickly Jim responded to the young man. "Okay, go ahead check him out. I'll stay right here."
The doctors checked for broken bones, fractures and concussion. Everything seemed fine. "He seems all right," the doctor frowned, "but it bothers me that he took so long to respond to us though. I think we should keep him overnight."
Blair understood what had happened. It was a zone out for want of a better term. Catching a doctor's eye, he offered an alternative idea. "Why don't I take him back to the dorm. I'll keep an eye on him for the rest of the night." The doctor hesitated then decided that Ellison needed this young man's calming influence, but who in all honesty seemed to be no more than a child.
"Okay, any hard nausea, vomiting or ringing in his ears, you get him back here ASAP." The doctor wrote out a prescription for some antinausea pills. "I'll give him one now, then he can have another one in four hours."
Blair called Chuck to get a ride home for them. He'd become Chuck's friend when he'd gotten him a date with the prom queen last year. Having Chuck help him with Jim was a blessing. This guy was all muscles. Everywhere! Blair chuckled to himself.
Getting his friend settled in bed, he turned out the lights. Speaking quietly he talked about what had occurred. "Jim, you had a zone out. Don't get excited, you're fine. When you focus too hard on a single object your mind zeros in on it, totally, to the exclusion of everything else. You have to learn to control it. I'm going to help you with it. Now, I want you to go to sleep. If you start to feel sick, call me, I'll be right here by your side."
Blair tucked the blankets around Jim, pulling away to turn down the air conditioner. Jim's hand grabbed his arm, dragging Blair toward him and down onto his bed. "Stay here." Jim snuggled up to his friend, holding him down.
"Okay." Blair smiled, this was just where he wanted to be.
Log: JE: Zones completely out of hand. Must find a way to counteract them. Subject has low levels of lucidity during seizures. Must test subject on all senses.
After the football fiasco, Blair started working with Jim on a daily basis. They tested his hearing, finding he could hear over incredible distances. His sight was amazing too, but the part that Blair loved was that he could control it, short distances to long distances. Smell was the most difficult problem in some respects. There wasn't anything that Jim didn't smell. A test on smelling flowers had put him in a zone for ten minutes. Blair had almost called a doctor. Then there was a problem with people's body odor. They made him physically sick. Especially when he was out on the field practicing in the hot sun. Blair racked his brain for a solution.
"Blair, would you mind turning down the dial on the radio. It's way too loud in here. I can't sleep with all that racket." Jim turned over on the bed, when he felt two hands grab him and twist him backwards.
"Jim, what a brilliant idea. Of course, it's the perfect solution." Plopping down beside him he placed his hands on either side of Jim's face. "Listen to me. Hear the radio, but instead of me dialing it down, you do it with your mind. You can do this, Jim. Imagine a dial in your head, now dial it down till you barely hear the music playing."
Jim lay quietly on the bed, trying to imagine a dial. "This is silly."
"No, Jim, just do it." Blair rubbed Jim's forehead gently.
"I'll try, Chief." Jim let his mind wander imagining a small dial. He turned it down slowly. A look of understanding came over his face. He smiled and reached up bringing Blair's lips to his. A kiss of sweetness entwined them together. Blair leaned into Jim's arms, with a powerful urge to continue.
"Chief." Jim placed his hand on Blair's heart, it was beating in triple time. "I've never done this before, have you?"
"No, but I think it might be nice." Blair pushed his hand away, leaning down to kiss Jim again. Lying on Jim's body, he pushed until he was laying on him flatly. He could feel their erections.
"Wait, Chief, I don't know if this is such a good idea. You're seventeen. Jailbait. We're not going all the way. Okay?" Jim waited breathlessly for Blair's answer.
"Jim, kiss me." The kiss deepening, they rubbed against each other and the friction of their bodies caused both of them to come. They lay panting together, trying to sort out their thoughts. "I want you in me, Jim."
"No, not yet. We'll take it a little at a time." Holding onto his lover, he thought about the consequences if this should become public." Blair, I don't want you to say anything about this to anyone. Understand?"
"Are you ashamed of me?" Blair tried to pull away but strong arms held him.
"Never. I just don't want us kicked out of school. Lay your head down on my chest, I want to hold you tonight." Gently kissing the lips above him, he snuggled Blair into his arms.
Log: JE: A new dimension has developed in our relationship. Sex. I'm not sure if I should catalog this find, but it is extremely interesting.
By the time the Holidays rolled around, Blair and Jim were inseparable. They went to games, movies and just hung out together. Jim also had to listen to Caroline's constant harping about how Jim didn't have time for her.
"Jim, are you going to be gone the whole Thanksgiving holiday?" Blair silently wished Jim didn't have to go at all, but he knew it was not fair for Jim not to see his family.
"We'll be there three days, Chief. You just have to accept my Dad, he's really hard to take. But my brother Stephen's nice and our housekeeper, Sally, is great."
"You mean you want me to go with you?" Blair held his breath for the answer.
"Dork, of course. Am I going to leave my buddy behind?" Jim smiled at him lazily. "Just remember we have to keep a low profile. No sex at my home."
"Oh, oh! Got it. No wild kissing parties, no running my hands up and down your gorgeous body, no rubbing up against you? You sure know how to spoil the holidays, Jim."
"Listen, Sandburg, my Dad's like a bloodhound. Nothing ever gets past him. By the way, I told my Dad a little lie, so don't let on about me using the money to come and find you in Kosovo."
"Jim, you didn't tell him? What if something had happened to you? No one would have known where you were. How much money?"
"None of your business. You're definitely worth it." Jim ducked when the pillow came flying toward him.
Driving in the driveway at Jim's house was a big eye-opener for Blair. Sure he knew people lived liked this, he'd even stayed in more sumptuous homes, but he hadn't realized Jim had this much money. Jim gathered the bags, showing Blair to the guestroom. "My room's right down the hall. Meet you at dinner in thirty minutes in the dining room."
Blair heard the door to his room shut. Hanging up his few clothes he scoped out the room. Beautiful drapes hung at the windows, a soft rug on the floor. Looking at a few of the antiques, Blair correctly guessed the origin and worth. Though he was impressed with Jim's father's wealth, he reminded himself again that he had been in many wealthier homes.
At eight o'clock he left his room to walk down the stairs. Entering the dining room, he saw that Jim hadn't yet appeared. The man standing by the fireplace must be Jim's dad. Holding out his hand, he commented, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Ellison."
"Oh, I didn't realize we were having company. And you are?"
Blair swallowed with difficulty, "I'm Blair Sandburg. Jim's roommate at college."
"Oh. Nice that you could join us for the holiday, Mr. Sandburg. I don't believe I'm familiar with your last name, are you from around here?"
"No. I move around a lot."
"I see. Is your family in politics? I seem to remember a Sandburg that was an ambassador."
"Afraid not. Oh, hi Jim." Jim strode into the room. He could tell his Dad and been interrogating Sandburg.
"Dad. How are you? I see you've met my roommate. He was at loose ends this holiday so I offered him a homestyle holiday." Jim grinned, one thing his family was not, was homestyle.
"That's fine. It's nice to meet your friends Jimmy. Shall we go into dinner." William Ellison sat at the head of the table, with Jim and Blair on the left of the table and Stephen on the right. Their housekeeper, Sally, sat at the far end. At first everything was fine, his Dad asking questions about his son's college courses and if Rainier would have a winning season. And that's when the other shoe fell...
"Jim, I heard that you'd been made a Co-captain instead of Captain. What happened?" Stephen piped aloud, taking a sneak peek at his Dad he smiled slyly at Blair.
"What, when did that happen?" The elder Ellison glowered at his son.
"Dad, no big deal. They do that now for prevention sake. Like if one of us became ill or something." Jim tried to soothe over the outburst.
"Jim, I heard it was because you took off from school, without telling the coach where you were going. Where did you go?" Stephen dug the knife in a little deeper.
His father waited for the answer. Glancing over at Blair's quiet form, Jim gritted his teeth. Damn Stephen, the little jerk was trying to get into his father's good graces again.
"I had to go overseas to meet Sandburg. We returned as soon as possible." Jim stared into his father's eyes without blinking.
"That's why you borrowed five thousand dollars from your trust account, wasn't it?" His father's head turned at the sound of hissing breath from Sandburg.
"Why did he need to see you so urgently, Mr. Sandburg?"
"I had run into trouble in Kosovo. He came to find me." Blair waited for the explosion, admiring Jim's calm acceptance.
"I see. So you went to rescue your friend." taking in Blair's clothes he drew his own swift conclusions." Your poor little friend here. Well, Mr. Sandburg I want you to know that I still control most of Jim's money. So sponging off my son will not do you any good." Smirking, Mr. Ellison waited for the reply.
Blair laid down his napkin. Standing he excused himself from the table. Walking quickly upstairs he repacked his bags, before he heard the door opening.
"Chief, I'm sorry. My Dad's an SOB, please don't leave. I tried to explain but he's having one of his temper tantrums. I'll talk to him tomorrow." Jim caught his breath at the hurt look on his friends' face.
"Jim, it's a mistake for me to be here. I'll go back to the dorm." Clicking his backpack together he pulled it into his arms.
"Chief, remember the dorm is closed, there's no where for you to go. We'll get through this. Give me a chance to work it out." Jim could hear the pleading tone of his own voice. He wanted to keep his father happy, but he loved Blair. "Chief," grabbing the backpack away from him, he pulled his lover into his arms. Kissing him deeply, he never noticed his father standing behind him. Blair, caught in Jim's deep embrace opened his eyes to look over Jim's shoulder, right into the eyes of Mr. Ellison. Blair's arms fell to his side. At the look on his lover's face, Jim turned around, to see his father in a towering rage.
"Get out of my house, you're nothing but a little whore. Get out!" grabbed Blair by the arm pulling him from the bedroom, down the stairs. Throwing open the front door, he pushed Blair out slamming the door behind him.
Jim stood in shock. Finally, running down the stairs he threw open the door when he felt his father grab his arm. "You're not leaving this house until school starts again, then you're getting a new roommate. Go to your room." Jim opened his mouth to contradict his father, when he felt the left side of his face burst into flame. The sudden impact of the blow caused his senses to go off line. His father dragged him up the stairs locking the bedroom door.
Jim shoved on the door but he couldn't get it to open. His mind was shutting down and there was nothing he could do to stop it. I have to help Blair, I have to find him. Jim glanced over to the windows, hurrying over to look outside he saw Blair walking away into the night. Jim's sight focused on his departing friend until he completely zoned out.
Blair's tears continued to fall. Where was Jim? Why didn't he come for me? Falling and tripping he couldn't see his way. "Jim." He walked for a long time, until he hit one of the main intersections. Sticking out his thumb, he caught a ride back to Cascade. Stepping out of the truck, the driver offered to give him some money. "Look kid, I know you're running away from home, but you need somewhere to stay tonight. How about that little hotel down on the corner. You take this money and get some rest. You go home tomorrow, you hear me?" The driver stuck the money in Blair's pocket, hoping that the kid would be all right.
Blair walked into the hotel to rent a room for the night. Keeping his head turned he tried to hide his ravaged face. The manager looked at him but kept his own counsel. Handing him the room key, he watched the young man walk slowly upstairs.
Blair entered the room quietly shutting the door. Dropping his backpack he sat down on the bed. Tears burned his face, dripping down onto the bedspread. Heaving a deep groan he laid back on the bed exhausted. Pulling into a fetal position he rocked himself to sleep.
Log: JE: Jim and I are no longer together. I hoped against hope that he would contact me, but I've not had any word from my friend. As soon as classes restart I will contact him. I miss him.
Classes started again after the holidays. The dorm room had been handled delicately. On arriving at the dorm, the RA had told Blair quietly that his room had been switched with another student. All of his belongings had been moved. "Here's a note that I was told to give you." Handing the note to the young man, he hurried on to his next room assignment.
Mr. Sandburg
My son will no longer be sharing a room with you. Please leave him alone. He wants to have no more correspondence. If you do not honor this request your scholarship will be defaulted.
William Ellison
Crunching the note, Blair grimaced. A good lesson learned.
Continuing his studies became the prime concern for Blair. Long hours, extra classes and drudgework for the Professor who paid him a small stipend for his assistance, kept his life going. He looked in vain for Jim. He'd even gone to the office to ask if he had dropped out. The answer had been a staggering," No. The student is still enrolled and attending classes." Blair felt his heart break. That's it then. He doesn't want to see me.
Over the Christmas holidays he hitchhiked to New York to see his Mom. She had new digs at one of her rich friends' homes. They toured New York and Blair pretended to have a good time. Several times he wanted to discuss his problems with Naomi, but he backed off, not wanting to upset her.
Their last night together they found themselves in a small out of the way restaurant. Taking courage into his hands, he murmured, "Naomi, you remember my roommate from this year. Jim?"
"Sweetie, of course. He came and retrieved you from Kosovo last summer. A little high-handed maybe, but he thought he was doing the right thing." Taking a sip of her wine she studied her son. He'd been down all Christmas vacation. Maybe his friend was in trouble.
"Naomi, Mom. I...we aren't roommates anymore. On Thanksgiving his father found Jim and I in an embrace and his dad threw me out of his house. Jim...Jim hasn't been in touch with me since. I...I love him."
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. Listen Blair, I don't think you two were right for each other anyway. I didn't tell you, but Jim wrote a hateful note telling me what exactly he thought of me as a mother. Letting me know that from now on, he'd be taking charge of your life."
"He did? When did this happen?" Blair stared into his mom's eyes.
"I think I received the note right before Thanksgiving. The nerve of him. So, you see you're better off... Blair, where are you going? Blair!" Blair grabbed his coat, kissed his mom and ran out of the restaurant. He was going back to the University to find out the truth. Maybe, just maybe, Jim still wanted him.
School started in January. Blair timed his encounter with Jim, waiting outside the P.E. building. He noticed Jim come out with a few of his friends. Blair's heart started beating triple time, but he was going to talk to him.
Jim stopped, looking around for the noise that had intruded in his hearing. A thump, thump, thump, a racing rhythm. Glancing behind him he noticed Blair Sandburg quietly waiting..
"Hi Chief. I haven't seen you in a long time."
"Hi Jim. I..I huh, I hoped you'd get in touch with me." Blair whispered the words softly. "I missed you."
"Why should I? You didn't answer any of my notes I sent you." Jim barely had the words out of his mouth before Blair was hugging him in his arms.
"Jim, I didn't get them. I waited and waited for you to find me after Thanksgiving. But, you never came for me." Blair couldn't get the words out fast enough.
Jim's arms tightened around his guide. "Blair, I couldn't find you the next day after you left. I searched everywhere for you. I zoned out watching you walk away from the house and by the time I came out of it and broke down the door, you had disappeared."
"I hitchhiked to a friend of mom's in New York. I never received any notes. Did you mail them on Campus?"
"No, I had Chuck drop them by your dorm room. He said that you didn't want to see me. I thought you just wanted to forget me. I mean my dad is such a bastard. I knew you must have been angered at my inability to help you. Chief, he has definitely put you off limits. Even our standing here talking might get back to him."
"Who cares what he thinks. Man, I missed you so much!" Blair looked into Jim's eyes, hoping to see love, but instead he saw fear. "What's the matter?"
"My dad will ruin you, Blair. If I see you again, he'll have the University cut off all your funding. He can do it too. We can't be seen together, okay?" Jim kept looking around him, trying to detect any unusual interest in them.
"This is so not fair! I have to see you!" Biting his lip he let a small sound escape him.
"You must leave, now. I'll send you a note, but not by Chuck, I think he won't be walking anywhere for a while." The deep anger simmered in his voice.
"Okay, Jim. I love you." The simple statement brought a lump to Jim's throat. He watched his best friend walk away.
The rest of the school year went as planned. Blair was top in his class and had received a grant to work on a dig in Peru during the summer break. They turned a blind eye to each other. Once he had seen Jim and Caroline at the game, but only Caroline had smiled at him. Jim walked by him as if he didn't exist.