This is the first Mighty Boosh story I have ever written, I hope you enjoy it and comment to tell me what you think.
Written in Vince's P.O.V and will probably change to Howard's a bit later on.
So here is the first chapter...
Disclaimer: The Mighty Boosh belongs to Julian Barratt and Noel Fielding.
Glitter. I should have realized dusting my bed with glitter would later have its downsides. I must have fallen asleep in my clothes face down on my bed since my boots were still on my feet and I had glitter stuck to my face and hair. I must have looked a joke, not that it mattered being 4:30am or that's what my alarm clock next to me was showing anyway. I never set the alarm to wake me up incase there was the chance Howard would let me have a lie in and then I would have woken up an hour or two earlier than necessary.
I pulled off my boots before tucking myself under the duvet. I looked at my wall, covered in posters of Mick Jagger, Gary Numan, Alice Cooper and then my photo of Howard and Me. The photo was taken back at the zoo and we both look truly happy, big smiles and thumbs up. I really should have worn a bit more make-up that day I look awful but on my particularly self-conscious days I cover up my face with a post-it note. Not that I tend to look at myself in that photo anyway since it's a little bit old now and I look quite different with my black hair so it has a different effect on me… like looking at a different person in a way. But I feel different. Things have changed so much since then. Good and bad changes. Good being we actually have our own flat above the shop. Bad because I loved that Zoo so much, we had such a great time there and it was the perfect place for me since the animals adored me and I could understand them. Mowgli in flares they called me back there. Anyway that has all gone now. All I have now is Howard, Naboo and Bollo. Well really it is mainly Howard since Naboo and Bollo are unresponsive most of the time with all the stuff they constantly smoke. Howard has been there from the beginning, when I dropped out of school he got me a job at the zoo and told me GCSE's weren't important. I've grown too attached to him. When he is in the room it's hard to think clearly anymore, not that I'm the best at thinking things through anyway but it's so much harder. I don't know why I like him so much, Leroy is constantly teasing me for the amount I talk about him and says "Do you love 'im or somethin'?". Of course I don't love Howard I just like to give people little Howard snippets since I'm trying to make other people see just how wonderful he is… like I do with Gary Numan. Well at least I didn't used to think I loved him anyway. This girl Louisa has just moved in next door. She's quite pretty actually for Howard's standards and amazingly enough she likes jazz and bookmarks. Howard was over the moon when she popped by the other day just to look at the jazz records, which haven't been looked at by anyone voluntarily (who hadn't been forced into looking at them by Howard) for months. She even seemed interested in Stationary Village!
"Vince… Vince?" Howard nudged my arm. I was miles away placing Gary Numan tracks into a top ten of my favorites.
"Oh… erm yeah?" I answered a little annoyed at the fact I'd now forgotten which song I put at number 5.
"Louisa is coming by tonight… would it be ok if you…"
"If I what?"
"Made yourself invisible?"
"Invisible?!" Ouch that hurt a bit. "Howard, I was not made to be invisible"
"Your not exactly the kind of person that merges into the background, true."
That made me smile, at least I thought that was a compliment. Wait… back to the Louisa issue, I didn't want to leave the house since I wanted to keep an eye on them to interrupt anything that may lead onto other things…
"No, I want to stay in tonight and watch a bit of T.V"
"Why? You go out every other night, why stay in tonight and ruin my evening."
I wouldn't call it ruin your evening… more keep it under control. I could feel my cheeks beginning to burn. I was getting angry over this?
"Ruin your evening? What about my evening, your always telling me to stay in and give my liver a rest from the alcohol so why now are you telling me to go out and get drunk?"
"That's not what I meant…"
"It's not like you haven't ruined my evenings enough times…"
"Vince!"
"You and your jazzy friend Lester always manage to scare away anybody I bring home anyway with your attempts of charm and jazz trivia!"
"What the hell has gotten into you!"
"What the hell has gotten into me? What's wrong with you?" I spat. "It's not my fault you fall for anyone who shows you the slightest bit of interest!" Ok that was a bit harsh. I could see his face crumple and fall, he looked at me with hurt in his eyes looking to see if I truly meant what I said.
"I'll be upstairs." Howard recomposed himself with a glint of anger and sadness on his face before turning and walking out of the room.
Well done Vince. I couldn't help being my selfish stupid self. I acted like a child arguing over something pathetic. I could have done him a favor. I could have just stayed upstairs in my room, all he probably wanted was just for me to not blast loud electro music or do something that would embarrass him, (he's the embarrassing one not me!) That's all we tend to do now, argue over pointless things.
I made my way out of the room and started climbing the stairs. There was a knock at the door. I heard movement upstairs as Howard clambered out of his room. I dashed down the stairs to beat him to the door. I opened it as Howard rushed behind me wearing one of his horrifying brown patterned shirts he kept for best or to attract some woman he takes a fancy to.
"Hello Louisa." I grinned at her. I watched as she took in my appearance and funnily enough she didn't smirk at what I was wearing, she just smiled back.
"Hi, yes I'm Louisa, you must be Vince. Nice hair!"
Ok at least she had some sense of style. I ruffled my hand through my hair in response and I turned to face Howard who was now trying to push his way past me.
"Yeah thanks, basic back comb structure, some root boost and a cheeky fringe. Howard, stop pushing me I'm only saying hello!" he grabbed me by the waste and pulled me away "Get off me!" I hissed at him. "He's just worried you fancy me more than him" I called round to Louisa. I heard her laugh a little at my jibe. Howard glared at me and mouthed something that didn't make sense? 'Muck…? Duck…? Truck off?' Oh wait no I get it. I rolled my eyes and stomped upstairs "Nice to meet you Louisa, sorry we couldn't have had more of a chat." I said before disappearing behind a banister but still watching hoping they couldn't see me.
"Sorry about my annoying friend Louisa, he wont be here for much longer…"
"Why? Is he only visiting you?"
"No, I wish. After that performance he wont be alive for much longer."
Louisa laughed at his joke before Howard continued. "May I say you look absolutely beautiful tonight? With your face like a cream oval. Your nose like a delicious slope of cream…"
"Ho-o-o-w-a-a-a-r-r-r-d-d, shut up!" I called down the stairs. What an idiot, not only did he recite that poem about Mrs Gideon he just said it to Louisa's face… he owes me.
"What was that Howard?" asked Louisa.
"Vince!" He called up the stairs "Stop spying, I know you there!"
"Alright, but I really saved you there." I called down grinning.
"Whatever. He's dead I tell you." He turned to Louisa. I made my way up to my room.
I'm sure if Howard continues like that I doubt there will be a second date. Well I hope not anyway… I wish I could be more positive towards him and encourage him but how can I when I… I can't even say it. It's too hard to admit to myself let alone tell him how I feel. I'm so spiteful all I do is drag him down and how does this make me think that it will give me a better chance with him if all I do is cause arguments. Surely that will just make him hate me? Oh dear. What's happening to me? I must be ill or something… since when did I have deep thoughts and think about changing my ways? Jagger help me! With that I ran into my room switching on my CD player and blasting music out as load as I could to drown out my feelings and thoughts.