A/N Some people seemed confused with what happen with my other story, MIA. I posted the last chapter but I didn't write "The End" at the end so some people thought there is more. I just wanted to clear up that that is over and this is a seperate story.

Derek's mind was working in overtime. He had his whole life flash before his eyes, he could have died earlier that day. He couldn't imagine how Meredith felt, seeing as she was the one actually holding the bomb in place. He was just in the neighboring OR. It couldn't have been nearly as scary for him and it was for her. There were so many things that crossed through his mind, things he couldn't even pinpoint now that he knew he was safe.

He walked out of the elevator and looked around hoping she would be the first person he came across but she was no where to be found. "Where is she?" he asked frantically.

Richard started saying something about having to be a hero but Derek was too lost in his own world to pay attention to him. He just kept his eyes circulating on the room, hoping to see the woman he was looking for come out of one corner or another.

"Where is she?" he repeated. He didn't notice how closely Adele was watching him and to be honest, he didn't care.

Richard sighed and looked over his shoulder to see Addison rushing toward them. "She's right here." he told Derek, hoping that seeing his wife would comfort him.

Addison made a bee-line straight toward him. "Derek.." she breath out as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his arms encircle her body and his chin nuzzle into her shoulder. "Oh...You're okay." she whispered as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of her.

Adele kept her distance from the once golden couple of the medical universe. She looked into Derek's hallow eyes and noticed the fact that he was still discretely scanning the room. She turned to her husband and said, "That is not the 'she' he was asking for."

Richard's eyes automatically darted back to Addison and Derek, for a split second he felt stupid for not realizing that Derek was not concerned about Addison, he was worried about Meredith.

Addison heard the words Adele mumbled. But she pretended she didn't because for the first time in a long time, her husband was actually holding her. For that one second, she didn't care that her husband was pretending she was someone else. She kept her arms locked around his neck and didn't budge until her phone went off to indicate a page.

She backed out of his arms and release a sigh. "I'm sorry." she whispered as she looked down to the message to see where she was being paged to. "I've gotta go, it's an emergency. You should go home and try to relax a little."

He nodded, although he didn't give a verbal response.

"I love you." she told him as she leaned in again to place a soft kiss on his cheek.

Over the years it had become an instinct to say it back but he grown away from the instinct since he left New York. He hadn't said those words to her in such a long time that he wasn't sure he even could anymore. So he just smiled casually and looked her in the eyes.

She knew he wouldn't return the sentiment, but for some reason she hoped for it every time. Once she realized that he wasn't going to respond she returned his small meaningless smile and walked away.

His eyes were frozen on a spot on the wall, he didn't even look a different direction when the door opened. He knew it could only be one person. He didn't say anything as she came near, he didn't even look away from that one spot on the wall.

"Hey, you okay?" she asked softly as she set down her stuff.

He nodded his head numbly.

"I tried to get off work earlier, I didn't want you to be here alone. I already feel bad for leaving you for that case. I wanted to be here with you to take care of you, I can only imagine how you felt in there. You were pretty much all alone in that OR, I didn't want you to be alone here too."

"It's okay." he mumbled. "I wanted to be alone, I needed to be alone."

She glanced at him and realized it. Of course he would rather be alone than in her company. "I called you on the way, I thought you might want something to eat...or something, I don't know. I guess I just wanted to make sure you were okay." she told him, seeing his phone was right beside his hand. "You didn't answer."

"I didn't feel like talking to anyone." he explained. "And I honestly still don't feel like talking about it. So can we not?"

Addison nodded her head as she stepped into the small bedroom to change into something comfortable enough to sleep in. She got into bed, crawling in close beside her husband in the effort to comfort him by showing him that he doesn't have to struggle through his inner battle alone. She had her head on his shoulder but she could almost feel his heart growing colder. When he didn't wrap an arm around her she understood to back away and keep to her side of the bed.

They remained in silence for a few minutes. Addison couldn't help but glance at him every 20 seconds or so to see if he had snapped out of his trance yet. After a while she got tired of waiting for him so she decided she'd be the bad guy and be the one to bring up a conversation she was sure they had both been dreading.

"I have no idea what was going through you mind while you were standing in that OR. I can't imagine how you would have felt. And I know you don't want to talk about it but I do. I need to tell you how I felt, I need you understand this." she started off by saying. "I was terrified, Derek. If anything was to happen to you I'd probably end up killing myself. I know it sounds cliche and drastic but while you were in there I actually thought about it."

"Addison-" he tried to stop her from continuing what she was trying to tell him but she didn't let him. Addison was obviously too determined to let anything stop her that night.

"No, Derek... I really need you to know. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I kept thinking about you, about everything we've been through. I honestly would not want to end things like this. If something were to happen you without you knowing just how sorry I am for everything...I couldn't live with that. When we do part ways, whether that be tonight or 50 years from now, I want you to know that I love you and nothing can change that."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" Derek asked, his one brow rising slight higher than it's natural position. "Why would we part ways tonight? Is that some kind of metaphor?"

Addison shook her head. "That's kind of that part I've been dreading. Just let me finish, okay?" he sighed and nodded his head, motioning for her to go on with what she was saying. "I thought I was gonna explode with you, I was so stressed about the thought of losing you that it actually felt like I was in there with you. And now, I can't help but think that you wouldn't feel that same."

"I wouldn't feel the same? You mean while I was in the OR?" Derek asked.

"I mean if our situations where to be reversed. If I was the one in that OR instead of you. You would probably be more preoccupied with the thought that Meredith would get hurt. You wouldn't remember me. You wouldn't feel how I felt, you wouldn't worry about me, you wouldn't think about killing yourself just so you don't live without me, you wouldn't really mind if I was to be in that OR instead of you." she clarified. "At least that's what I think."

"And what makes you think that?" he asked with fake intrigue.

"You were not out there looking for me today..." she whispered.

"What are you talking about?"

"I heard you asking the chief where 'she' is as I was coming to see you, so I started walking faster. And then I got there and I saw your face when you saw me walking toward you." she told him. "You didn't look like you cared that I was there."

"What are you talking about Addison?" he repeated with more force.

She took in a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "You wanted to see Meredith before you saw anyone else, she was the one you wanted to be holding. Not me."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I should I have known this was turning into another one of those 'you love Meredith and don't care about me' conversations."

"No, Derek, it's not. I just realized that life is short and there is no time for second chances. I wanted to ask you: if you were in that situation, if both she and I were to be in moral danger would you even care that something could happen to me?" she asked softly, not wanting to look at him because she didn't want him to see the tears threatening her eyes. "Because if not than I think it's time that we stop playing this game. If you want her, Derek, you've go to stop playing 'house' with me and go after her."

He looked at her in shock. He didn't think that conversation would end there. He couldn't she would just put him through a guilt trip and then go to sleep. But she wasn't, she was being honest and she was offering him a chance to follow him heart.

"I don't actually expect an answer or an explanation." Addison told him. "If you want her, walk out, go see her, make sure she's okay and when you get back in a few hours I'll be gone. It's that simple."

Her heart started to pound when she felt movement in the bed. She tried not to watch as got dressed and he walked toward the door but broke down once she heard his car pull away. After a few minutes she pulled herself together, deciding that she needs to get her life back into order and move on. She started packing hesitantly, but the longer she stayed enclosed in his trailer the more claustrophobic she began to feel. So she stopped caring how perfectly her clothes were folded, she threw everything of hers into the suit case and zipped it shut.

When she turned to leave she found him standing right there in front of her. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd be gone a little longer." she whispered as she tried to walk passed him.

He blocked her exit, standing there with his arm crossed in front of the door. "Where are you going in the middle of the night?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Airport probably." she answered. "I'll take the first flight out of here and I don't care where it goes."

"No." he told her.

"No?"

"You said it's my choice." he reminded.

"Yeah, I said that if you want her than you should leave and you did... so I packed. I don't understand your confusion here."

"I went to go get you flowers, Titanic roses more specifically..." They were her favorite. He would always call them pink roses but she had thing for calling them Titanic roses because it made it sound so much more romantic. Eventually, he picked up on her tendencies.

"I don't see any roses."

"Yeah well... Seattle is a pretty dead city. You trying finding a flower shop that's open past midnight." he mumbled. "I'll get you a bunch tomorrow though." he promised. "You'll come home to a trailer full of titanic roses."

"I don't want roses. I want to leave." she told him, still trying to push passed him to get out the door.

"I listened to you, now will you listen to me?" he asked her softly. She nodded her head and looked up at him with her tears still shining in her eyes. "I would feel the same way you did if you were to be the one in that OR. I would worry, and I would panic."

"Yeah, but not for me."

"For you." he assured. "I would worry about you. I would be stressed out and I would find a way to be in there with you. That way if anything happened to you, it would happen to me too. We would be together no matter what. But I would feel the same way you did."

"I uh-"

"I'm not done." he told her firmly, not letting her get a word in edgewise just like she didn't let him get a word in. "And I hadn't forgiven you up until today, but now I do. I am honestly over it, Addison. I'm over all of it. All I want is for you and I to be safe, and if we were to be in danger than I'd wanna be there together. I do love you, Addie. Like I said that one time, 'Till death do us part'...except it wouldn't really do us part because trust me...where you go, I follow."

I've been trying to write something "post-able" for weeks now! I start writing a fanfic and every time I use a medicine related word I remember a bio assignment that I need to do or something along those lines. I'm glad that I actually stuck through with writing this and hope you guys like it.
Let me know what you think :)
Oh, and if you have one-shot suggestions I would love to hear them. I need something to do to take my mind off school once in a while.