Once again still bored. I enjoy writing humor fics so I thought I'd write one about the SHM and I'm counting Sephiroth in this group. They out of character on purpose because I don't think I can write a humor fic and keep them in character.
Chaos Ch 1 HairThe three silver haired men stood outside the bathroom door.
"Hurry up Sephiroth!" begged Kadaj knocking on the door. "You've been in there for an hour!"
"I got to pee." Said Loz as he did the 'I got to pee dance'
Yazoo leaned against the wall hair disarray. He frowned and crossed his arms.
"Sephiroth! Open this damn door right now!" Kadaj screamed
The bathroom door opened along with a cloud of steam. His hair was still wet and he was wearing his usual clothes. Some where off in the distance a choir sung. "Sephiroth."
"It is I Sepi-" before he finished his unnecessary monologue Loz knocked him over to get into the bathroom. "Bastard." Mumbled Sephiroth standing back just in time to be knocked over by the door.
"Are you okay brother?" asked Kadaj
"Yes." He said standing up. "I am the great Sephiroth I'll never get hurt, or bleed, or die or be a memory!" He pulled a towel out of the closet. "Nor will I use a hair dryer!"
"Sephiroth!"
He laughed like a mad man and began to leave the area to find that his coat was stuck in the door.
Kadaj and Yazoo laughed.
"It is not funny! Wait till I get unstuck then you both shall feel my wrath!"
"Sephiroth!"
"Why can't I get my own theme song?" Sighed Kadaj he then looked at Yazoo. "Brother I want my own theme song."
"Kadaj." He sung flatly.
"You call that a theme song!" yelled Kadaj
"Your name isn't as cool as mine." Said Sephiroth
Kadaj glared at him. "Mean!" he yelled
He laughed. "Of course I'm mean. I am evil! I am the great-"
"Please shut up." Said Yazoo.
Sephiroth began to fume. "How dare you tell me to shut up! I am the great-!" he fell backwards when Loz opened the bathroom door.
"Sorry Seph." Said Loz walking around him. This was the plus for having one brother with short hair it doesn't take Loz and hour or more just to wash his hair.
"Call me Seph again and I will kill you." He said standing up and pulled his overly long coat out of the door. "Victory is mine once again!" He yelled triumphantly spinning around to see Yazoo standing there just staring at him. "What?"
"…"
"What? What do you want?"
"Move please."
"Oh sorry." He said moving. "Wait why am I apologizing for?" he asked himself out loud as Yazoo walked past him.
He just shrugged as he walked into the bathroom.
"Damn! There won't be any hot water left for me by the time he gets out of there." Said Kadaj shortly there after there was an high pitch ungodly scream from the bathroom. He gasped and opened the door. "What's wrong?" he asked.
Yazoo stood in the middle of the bathroom still dressed mind you holding a bottle of some sort. "He used it."
"Used what?"
"My favorite shampoo! He used it all!" he screamed marching past Kadaj and attacked Loz. "How dare you!"
Loz screamed like a girl. "I'm sorry Yazoo please don't kill me! Sephiroth used up all of the other kind I had no choice!"
"Yes you did! You could have not washed your hair! You put two tones of hair gel in your hair every day no one would notice if you didn't wash it! I on the other hand have long beautiful locks to maintain! I can not go into battle with dirty hair!"
"I'm sorry Yazoo!"
"Sorry? Sorry isn't good enough!" he yelled shaking him.
Loz began to cry. "I'm sorry Yazoo. Please don't hurt me."
He dropped Loz on the ground. "Don't do it again!" he yelled as he stormed back into the bathroom and threw Kadaj out of the room.
"He's scary when his angry." Said Kadaj
Loz nodded.
Sephiroth merely smirk. "I always knew he had it in him." He said proudly.
"Shouldn't you two be going some where?" asked Kadaj
"Indeed! I the great Sephiroth am off to bug Cloud!"
"Sephiroth!"
"After my hair drys." He said walking away.
After they finally got their baths taken.
"Let's go torment Cloud." Said Sephiroth after he finished bushing his really freaking long hair.
"We can't." said Yazoo.
"Why not?" he asked sounding surprised.
"My hair isn't dry yet." He said flipping his long (though not as long as Sephi's) hair.
"Oh my God." Sighed Kadaj hanging his head in shame. "I can not believe I am related to you."
"You're just jealous that I got the good hair genes." He said smiling evilly.
"No I'm not."
"Yes you are." He said then reached over and ran his hand through the part of Kadaj's hair that hung over his eye. "Captain stringy hair."
He slapped his hand. "My hair is NOT stringy! Besides maybe if SOMEONE around would let other people use the good kind of shampoo I'd have fluffy hair like you and Sephi."
Yazoo glared at him with all the annoyance he could muster. "Why you little…"
Sephiroth got in between them. "Enough! And don't call me Sephi."
Kadaj stuck his tongue out at him and Yazoo glared at his younger brother.
"I said quite it!" yelled Sephiroth. "That is no way to act towards your brother and you know it."
"That is no way to act towards your brother and you know it." Kadaj mimicked stupidly.
"I heard that."
"So are we going or not?" asked Kadaj.
"My hair isn't dry. I am not going out in public with wet hair, then drive on a motorcycle. My hair will be a mess."
"Your hair will be fine." Said Sephiroth putting on his coat and lacing it up.
"My hair must be prefect. If it is ruined I blame you." He said pointing at Sephiroth.
"Oh for the love of mother." He sighed then left.
Yazoo zipped up his coat then followed Sephiroth out side.
Loz finished putting on his boots and fixing his hair and left as well.
"Why couldn't I've been an only child." Sighed Kadaj strapping his coat to his legs then left as well.
At Edge or Migar what ever they are calling it these days…
Cloud was minding his own business and was driving down the streets of Edge Migar whatever humming Nemo by Nightwish when suddenly Sephiroth landed in front of him (unlike the other three he flew there)
"Sephiroth!" sung the choirs.
"It is I Sephiroth."
"Sephiroth!"
"What you again? Didn't I kill you all ready this month."
"No-"
"Sephiroth!"
Sephiroth frowned at the nonexistent choirs. "That was last month."
"I thought I fought you last week."
"That was Kadaj."
"Sephiroth!"
"You know that is really annoying." Said Cloud.
"Isn't it though."
"Sephiroth!"
"Stop it!"
"No!"
"Want'em?"
"Nah."
In the distance Sephiroth heard the other three arrive.
"The other three!"
They all frowned.
"Finally we get some kind of recognition." Said Kadaj
"What took you three so damn long?" asked Sephiroth
"We ran out of gas." Said Yazoo.
"Gasoline!"
"Are you singers on crack?" asked Cloud.
"Probably." Said Sephiroth.
"Crack!"
"I wish they'd stop it. I feel my cool points dropping as we speak."
"Cool points!"
"I've had it!" yelled Sephiroth and Yazoo pulled out his gun and shot a nearby bush.
"Sephi…roth…"
"At last silence! Now where was I?" said Sephiroth
"We talking about which one of your three personality disorders I fought last." Said Cloud.
"Oh yes it was Kadaj right?"
"No Yazoo." Said Kadaj.
"I thought Loz fought him last." Said Yazoo.
"I thought it was both of you." Said Loz.
"I think I'm confused." Said Cloud.
Sephiroth shook his head. "Which one was it Cloud: short hair, long hair, or stringy hair."
"Hey!" yelled Kadaj.
"I don't remember…" said Cloud. "Why! Why can't I remember!" he yelled overly dramatic. "I just want to be forgiven!"
Sephiroth looked at him like he was insane. "Let's just go." He said looking back at his brothers.
Loz looked at Cloud and shook his head then left.
"And we're related to him?" asked Yazoo leaving as well.
"Weirdo." Mumbled Kadaj as he followed the other two.
Sephiroth looked down at the young blonde still screaming something about forgiveness. "And people say I'm crazy." He said then left.
Read review NO flames please.