This was written for a prompt on the LJ Code Geass kinkmeme and is my first attempt at writing 'proper' PWP (Sword and Shield doesn't quite count in my book). I have a bit of a Gino-Suzaku 'thing' and this fit quite nicely with an idea I was half working on anyway.
I may use a non-M-rated version of this as the first chapter in a story I'm thinking about at the moment, so don't be surprised if you see some of this in another post-R2 fic later.
Feedback would be immensely useful, because I have never written either yaoi or anything this explicit before, and as ever I like to challenge myself and try to improve what I write :)
It's dark when Gino steps into the cemetery. It has to be; after all, it wouldn't be appropriate for a Knight of Rounds to be seen visiting to the grave of a traitor – even if said traitor was a former close friend.
Making his way through the familiar rows of headstones to the relatively simple raised marble slab, Gino stands for a moment in unusual silence before the grave, then steps forward.
As always, he places the flowers carefully. Settling them close against the headstone, covering the name of the Demon Emperor.
Here lies Suzaku Kururugi, Consummate and Invaluable Knight. That was enough for it to say. Traitor or not.
Gino only wishes he could understand. He had been over it a thousand times in his head, and that just wasn't like him. Gino Weinberg didn't like to think about things too closely – he had trained himself to think about happy things, and not to let the bad thoughts linger, but for some reason, this was one thing he just couldn't seem to let go of.
"You can still turn back, Suzaku!!"
"Turn back? It should be the other way round, Gino. If you have sworn allegiance to Britannia, then you should be my ally!"
Why? He had gone out there thinking that he could maybe, after all they'd been through together, get the new Knight of Zero to rethink… to rejoin him. He hadn't fought at his best, hadn't really wanted to land a killing blow.
And Suzaku had cut him out of the sky, left him spinning out of control and desperately wrestling the Tristan's controls in hope of a safe landing.
"Gino… must we fight no matter what?"
The blonde clenches his fists tightly enough that his nails bit into his hands. It has been months, and still it stung, every time he thought about his former friend.
Suzaku… why? Why did you turn against us?
The Knight of Three remains before the grave, forcing his mind to better memories. Suzaku yelping as Arthur sank teeth into his hand. The slim figure in his arms when Suzaku had crawled into his bed after another horrific nightmare. That rare but oh-so-genuine smile when Gino had brought him his favourite tea after a trip to Area Eleven (the Tristan's superfast engines were of use sometimes, after all).
Sighing, Gino turns away from the grave. There was another job he had to do here. A job that isn't so much his, but which he carries out in honour of his friends memory. He had never really known the Princess Euphemia, but Suzaku had loved her. The former Knight of Seven had taken flowers to her grave every week that they were present in the capital – white roses, placing them lovingly at the white carved headstone. Gino had asked about it once, and Suzaku had explained somewhat haltingly that white roses were the flowers of innocence and eternal love, and that white was the colour of mourning in Japan. He had blushed slightly as he had murmured that it had seemed the appropriate choice. So when Gino visited Suzaku's grave, he always brought two bunches of flowers.
He almost doesn't see the figure stood at Euphemia's grave until he is on him – the midnight clothing shields the body wrapped within it, and only the slight glint of moonlight from the visored mask highlights the identity of the one person that in Gino's opinion, has absolutely no right to be stood there at all.
"Zero… Zero killed her…" Those choked sobs, shaking Suzaku's whole body as Gino petted and soothed after the brunette had woken screaming Euphemia's name, resonate in the blonde's head.
Mouth set in the thin line, he reaches for the cloak-clad shoulder, whirling the smaller figure around.
"You," he spits. "You shouldn't be here."
"Lord Weinberg…" The figure begins, but doesn't get chance to finish as Gino catches sight of the flowers laid on the grave. White roses.
His own flowers falling forgotten to the ground, Gino's fist slams into Zero's stomach, and the masked man doubles over, reeling backwards.
Something drops to the ground, shining softly in the moonlight. It looks familiar, somehow, and Gino bends to pick it up, turning it slightly from side to side to allow the light to play over its surface. Glimmering gold and blue, with sharp white wings protruding from either side of the central royal symbol. Gino frowns at it for a moment before the image comes back to him – the sharp edges of the pin cutting deep into a clenched tan hand, as Gino tries to pry it from the bleeding grasp.
A pin always in place over the left breast pocket of the Knight of Seven.
"No…" Zero's gloved hand is reaching for the pin, and Gino doesn't even think before yanking it back out of the masked man's reach.
"Why do you have this?" he snarls, other hand reaching forward to grab at the frilled cravat. "This doesn't belong to you!"
"Please," begins the voice, and it is too much. Gino's strained temper snaps utterly, and the blonde knight has Zero pinned to the floor with his superior height and bulk within seconds.
"You were the one who killed her! You… you shouldn't be here. You shouldn't have this! This belonged to him!" His voice rises as he speaks, until he's shouting the words into the mask, and his fists itch to punch someone. To punch the man pinned below him, but he can't, because it would make no sense to punch the smooth reflective surface of the perfect mask.
Suzaku… Suzaku would never have let that pin go.
"Who are you?" The blonde reaches for the mask. Zero struggles beneath him, but pinned down as he is it's an easy matter for Gino to push his arms down by his sides and keep him still as his fingers pull at the mask. "Who the fuck are you and why… why do you have that?"
His fingers find a catch, and he presses, the mask coming open in his hands. He practically yanks Zero's head off along with it, and tosses it out among the graves. He hears a soft clunk as it connects with a headstone, somewhere in the distance.
And then stops breathing as he stares down into shocked-looking, familiar green eyes.
His mouth moves, but his voice is strangled in his throat, and finally Gino wrenches himself backwards, away from that emerald gaze, stumbling back a few steps, simply staring as the figure on the ground before him slowly sits and pulls the black cloth covering his nose and mouth away.
"Suzaku…"
"You weren't supposed to find out," comes that voice, so familiar without the voice changer hidden within the mask, eyes flicking sideways and lowering to the ground. The voice of a dead man.
Gino has stepped forward and his fist connected with Suzaku's jaw before his brain can even catch up. He stands, panting, fists clenched at his sides. But Suzaku barely reacts, keeping his face averted just as the punch had left him, and that only makes Gino angrier, more determined to do something, to get through.
Had anything he'd ever done really touched Suzaku? Those always-closed-off green eyes, like glass, reflecting everything he did back at him. Gino had done so much, given so much, just to get a smile, just to get through to the boy, just to try and show him that life, life was worth something….
Grabbing the thin leather-covered wrist, Gino yanks the brunette to his feet, setting off determinedly among the graves, dragging Suzaku behind him.
"Gino… what… you're hurting me," comes the confused protest from behind him, but he ignores it, following a well-known path through the ordered headstones.
He pulls to a halt before the Kururugi grave marker, staring at the engraved stone for a second before spinning to face Suzaku. The boy has fallen silent, eyes averted and downcast in shame, a light blush colouring his cheeks.
"You let me…" Gino's voice cracks, and he stops, swallows before continuing. "All this time, you let me think you were dead. You let me think I'd helped to kill you!" He falls silent, words bubbling in his brain, all fighting to be next out of his mouth. Recriminations, relief, accusation, anger… his mind is in turmoil.
"I'm sorry." Suzaku's voice is barely a whisper.
Gino shoves him, roughly, sending the smaller boy to land roughly on his back beneath the carved stone, and then crouches down above the sprawled figure. He can feel tears spilling down his face even as he reaches out, one hand caressing a tan cheek. Suzaku's eyes widen in surprise, but then he tilts his head very slightly, leaning into Gino's touch.
"Gino…"
"You could have told me, you know. If I'd known what you were planning… I would have understood. I could have helped."
Green eyes finally, finally, meet his own, swimming with tears of their own.
"I thought… it would be better this way," Suzaku's voice is soft, broken.
Gino pulls back his hand and slaps the surprised Japanese across the face – not a punch, this time, but an open handed slap meant to sting, but not to seriously hurt.
Then he grabs Suzaku's face, holding it between his hands, pressing his forehead to Suzaku's, tears dripping from his own cheeks onto the face below.
"Why?" He can hear the cracks in his voice. "Why did you never trust me? Do I mean so little to you? Why can't you just let me in?!"
Slim fingers come up and close over his own. "I'm sorry," whispers the other again. "I thought you would be better… not knowing…"
Gino pulls back, studying Suzaku's face, as the Japanese boy gives him a watery, somewhat forced smile.
"You think, you think… You always think too much," Gino manages finally, and then leans in, pressing his lips against Suzaku's in a fierce kiss.
For just a moment, he thinks the boy will yield, but then those fingers leave his hands and move to his chest, pushing him away.
Suzaku regards him with wide, bewildered eyes.
"What are you..."
Gino shuts him up with another kiss, one large hand cupping Suzaku's jaw and pulling his head back, finger digging into his cheeks to help open the boys mouth. His body aches with need, with anger, with the desperate urge to get Suzaku to react. Just to react to him, for once.
"I loved you," Gino whispers when he pulls back, his voice soft. "I fucking loved you. I did everything… I would have done anything for you. And you… you never even thought about me."
Fingers find their way under Zero's cravat, gripping the flesh beneath and pulling the brunette's neck taut.
"This time I won't let you ignore me." He feels Suzaku shudder as Gino whispers next to the boy's ear. "This time I'm going to make you let me in."
"I'm sorry." And suddenly Suzaku is moving, pushing Gino backwards, and as the blonde falls backwards he sees Suzaku's hand move to his waist, sees moonlight glint off something long and thin, and had a split second to wonder if everything is over.
And then he's on his elbows in the dirt, and Suzaku is holding the gun out to him, grip first. And Gino stares, bewildered blue eyes meeting perfectly tranquil green ones.
"If you're going to do it, you'll need to be fast." Suzaku's voice is flat, matter-of-fact, and Gino wonders what the hell he's talking about it. "If it's you… I think I can suppress the Geass a little. Enough, anyway."
When Gino doesn't move, Suzaku crouches, reaching for the blonde's hand and pressing the gun into it.
"I don't want to hurt you, Gino." His voice is quiet, but firm.
"What exactly am I supposed to be doing with this?" Gino finds his voice at least, pulling up to a sitting position.
Suzaku smiles at him, such a sad smile that Gino's heart aches.
"You're supposed to kill me."
Gino blinks. Processes. Stares from the gun in his hand, barrel already pointed, to the calm green eyes in front of him.
"No," he chokes out at last, his hand already moving to get rid of the gun, but Suzaku is moving too, grabbing his wrist, holding it steady. Holding so the gun is pointed at his heart.
"Please," he whispers, and those green eyes are no longer calm, they're full of pain and grief and tears. "If it's you… it'll be alright…"
And for a moment, Gino feels his finger tighten on the trigger in response to that plea.
And then he jerks his arm back, throwing the gun far, far into the cemetery, his body surging forward and knocking Suzaku flat to the ground, pinning him down and holding his arms by his side.
"You bastard," and his voice is half snarl, half sob. "You let me think you're dead, then the moment I find out you're alright, you want me to kill you!" Dropping his head against the violet-clad chest, Gino tries, struggles, to control his anger. Lifts his head. "Do you think I'm a toy? Have you really become Zero, using other people to get what you want?"
He sees Suzaku's eyes widen as his words hit home, the brunette wordlessly shaking his head. And it only fuels the turmoil in the blonde's head,so many emotions bottled up for so long. He growls, pushing his mouth against Suzaku's, forcefully, angrily. This time he'll make Suzaku see… that he isn't a person to be thrown away so easily. This time he'll make the brunette cry, scream, react, he will…
The body pinned beneath him struggles, but it isn't until Gino moves to rip off the white cravat that Suzaku, feeling the loosened grip at his throat, manages to push him sideways and makes a break for it.
Unfortunately for the brunette, Gino's reflexes, like his, are battle-honed. He's barely taken a step when Gino recovers and grabs him from behind, bringing him down onto the ground.
"No," he growls, blue eyes flashing with anger as he uses the torn white material to bind Suzaku's arms, forearm to forearm, firmly behind his back. "You're not getting away that easily."
Suzaku struggles beneath him even as Gino pulls him upward, dragging him to his knees, one arm around the boy's waist pulling the kneeling body back against his own. "You don't have to fight me, you know," he murmurs against Suzaku's ear, running fingertips down the boy's cheek. Suzaku simply snarls something, jerking his head away.
"I don't want to hurt you." He's not quite sure that's the truth. Some part of him does, wants to hurt Suzaku, the way the boy had hurt him – betrayed him, left him, fought against him… that pain he'd been carrying since Suzaku had appeared onscreen at Lelouch's side, as the violet-eyed boy had introduced his new 'Knight of Zero'.
Tangling fingers into brown hair, Gino leans in, dragging his lips down the taut throat, inhaling Suzaku's scent, tasting the faint hint of salt on his skin. Reaching the base, he bites, relishing the gasp that spills from Suzaku's lips.
"How long has it been, Suzaku?" Gino's growl elicits a shudder from the boy in his arms as his words breathe hot air against the Japanese boy's ears. "How long has it been since someone called you by name like this?" One large hand slides downward, pressing into Suzaku's groin, almost surprised at the hardness under his hand.
"How long has it been since someone touched you like this?" Gino's hand caresses, drawing a half-suppressed groan from parted lips.
"Gino… stop."
"Shut up," growls the blonde, fingers sliding down the zip of the violet pants, searching for the waistband of the cotton boxers. "You're not pushing me away this time." His fingers wrap around hard, hot flesh, stroking, relishing the hiss that escapes Suzaku's lips and the way the smaller boy's head presses back against his shoulder. Leaning in, he quickens the pace of his movement even as he tongues his way down the bared throat, nipping, tasting. The blonde grinds his groin against the firm violet-clad ass until he feels Suzaku's hips start to move, the boy openly panting now.
"Gino…"
He hears the gasp as he tugs the collar aside to nip at Suzaku's collarbone, feels the slight buck of hips in response to his teeth, and grins fiercely against the skin as he sinks his teeth, hard, into the juncture of shoulder and neck.
And Suzaku bucks in his arms, a cry tearing from his throat as the cock in Gino's hand pulses and covers his fingers and the violet suit in dripping white.
Gino drags his lips back up the column of throat, feeling Suzaku's body sag back into his arms as the brunette desperately tries to get his breathing under control.
"I should have known you'd like it rough," he mutters, rubbing thumb against fingers, ensuring his forefingers are adequately coated. Spinning the brunette around with his clean hand, Gino uses his superior bulk to push the smaller frame back against the headstone. Obviously Suzaku has recovered some of his fighting spirit, because he kicks out at Gino as he crouches. However, without his hands it's a relatively easy matter for the large knight to pin the smaller boy's legs beneath his own. Defiant green eyes stare up at him, and Gino smiles humourlessly at the familiar expression on his former friends face.
"I thought you didn't want to fight me?" He smiles, though there's no humour in his voice, and Suzaku's head jerks away as if he's been hit.
"I didn't."
Gino leans in, to where his breath tickles against the inner shell of the boy's ear. "You cut me down, Suzaku. You cut the Tristan apart. You left me… left me to fucking die…"
Pulling back, his clean hand wraps once against around the tan throat, jerking the head back to face him.
"Why? Why couldn't you have just fucking told me?"
And then, to his utter surprise, Suzaku smiles. Gino is so shocked and appalled that he releases his hold, and green eyes slide away, down and to the side. "I never left you to die. I knew you'd be alright. I knew… I knew how to disable the Tristan, knew how to leave the essential systems intact…" Those emerald eyes return to his face, meeting Gino's bewildered blue eyes with what seems, for the first time, like real honesty. "You should have killed me, Gino…"
"Shut up," Gino's voice is hoarse, ragged. "Just shut up!"
With one hand, he pulls apart the fastenings of the gold-edges fitted jacket and the shirt hidden beneath. Zero's clothes, not Suzaku's. He yanks down violet pants, trapping Suzaku's ankles in them even as he presses his mouth to the revealed skin, tracing taut muscle under tan skin, biting down on a nipple. It thrills him, to have this power, to finally have Suzaku, who had always danced away from him, pushed him away, trapped and writhing beneath him.
Gino forces the brunette's legs wider, positioning himself between parted thighs, giving him better access to the puckered hole, even as he pressed the first cum-slicked finger into the ring of tight muscle. A pained gasp rips from Suzaku's throat, the boy throwing his head back with a grimace.
Gino ignores it, pushing the single finger in and out a few times before adding a second, stretching, and then twisting, stroking, until his searching fingers elicit a startled cry from the boy beneath him. And Gino grins against the taut abdomen, kissing and licking at the bared skin as he alternates between stretching and stroking, easily bringing Suzaku back to full arousal and leaving his own body aching with need.
Finally forcing his mouth away from the addicting taste of tan skin, he regards the figure spread below him. Suzaku's back is arched to accommodate the arms tied behind his back, his lips parted, fierce green eyes heavy-lidded and red staining his cheeks. He looks aroused, debauched, defiant all at once.
Gino's groin aches with the need to be inside him, to hear Suzaku – Suzaku, who he thought he had killed – moan beneath him, wrap strong legs around him, cry out his name.
Reaching down, he hurriedly undoes the zip of his muddied white pants, gasping at the twin thrills of the release of his own painfully hard erection from its confines and the anticipation of what he is about to do.
He feels Suzaku shudder as he positions himself, coats himself as best as he can with spit and the remains of Suzaku's previous release. Reaches up with his clean hand to brush brown locks back from the sweat-sheened forehead.
"I love you," he whispers as he pushes his way inside. "I love you…" he groans as the tight heat engulfs him.
And this time when he kisses the parted lips, nips at the full lower lip, he is granted entrance, a tongue warring with his own even as he thrusts repeatedly into the tight passage.
"Fuck, Suzaku…" he whispers raggedly. He can't last… won't last, not when he's wanted this so long. All those nights spent lying beside the brunette under the pretence of 'keeping the nightmares away', all those sneaked glances at the firm body ensconced within the skintight pilots garb…
"Gino…" Suzaku's body pushes up against him, with as much leverage as he can gain with his forearms still tied behind his back.
Gino knows he is spouting words, words he can barely make sense of as he nears his peak. The words 'love' and 'god' and 'Suzaku' fall from his lips barely heeded, and he desperately reaches between their bodies to grasp his reluctant lover's cock, stroking firmly. He has no idea if he's keeping time with own thrusts or not, lost in the dance of their bodies and Suzaku's moans and the coiling tension in his stomach and groin.
And then Suzaku arches beneath him, a shuddering gasp pulling from his parted lips, as his body tenses and he spills his release over them both. And Gino, already at the edge of his control, gratefully cedes to his strained body and shudders his own orgasm in a series of deep, deep thrusts.
He collapses atop the smaller body, breathing deep shaking breaths against the former knight's shoulder.
"I love you," he whispers again, as he fights to regain control of at least his breathing. "I love you, Suzaku."
Suzaku says nothing.
When Gino finally rouses himself, he can't help but stare for a moment at the figure before him. Suzaku, legs still spread, cheeks still flushed with as much shame as pleasure, white spattering his belly and leaking from between his buttocks. Eyes still full of defiance, but it's a tense, fragile defiance.
Gino reaches for him, pulling the trembling figure up into a sitting position, fingers fumbling at the material binding the boy's arms together. "I'm sorry," he whispers into the base of Suzaku's throat.
The material loosens, and he feels the movement as Suzaku's arms pull free. And the next moment, a stinging slap lands across his face. Gino looks up, one hand flying to his reddening cheek, as tears spill from green eyes, and Suzaku pulls his own knees close into his chest and sobs.
And Gino wraps his arms around the smaller figure, whispering helplessly. "It's alright, it's alright, shhh."
And Suzaku's hands clutch into his shirt as the boy sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Gino continues to stroke his back, his hair, to soothe and comfort, and it's only when the sobs begin to lessen and the boy in his arms whispers something in Japanese that he makes a note to ask someone what 'aishiteru' means.
Yeah... if I wasn't before, I'm definitely going to hell now.
Couple of notes:
Flowers... I suck at them, so I had to look it up. White roses mean several things, and the ones listen here are just two. I didn't specify the flowers left at Suzaku's grave, for two reasons - one, I couldn't find anything I thought that appropriate and two, I dount Gino would have the first clue what the meanings of flowers were, upper class upbringing or no.
I genuinely love Gino/Suzaku, because Gino is so utterly adorable and persistant, and god knows Suzaku needs someone a little less serious to make him laugh from time to time. I want to write a multi-chapter of the development of the relationship between these two, if only because I can't quite work out how Suzaku goes from 'everyone get the HELL away from me' to letting Gino hug him all the time (though I suspect much of it has to do with Gino not paying any attention to Suzaku trying to get rid of him). I dunno. I still think Jusrecht's Gino/Suzaku stories are incredible (if you're a GinoSuza fan and you haven't read the, GO NOW) and I'm not sure I can match up!
Aishiteru, for those who don't know, means I Love You in japanese.
If you are a fan of Gino/Suza dubcon/noncon, I suggest the 'Prisoner of Love' doujinshi by Double Slash - they were partially my inspiration for this piece, have only got a vague idea what's going on in them so far as my japanese is pretty limited but they look amazing.
Hope you enjoyed reading this. Feedback is love, and spares you from the curse of fluorescent flying monkeys... Seriously, I've never written this kind of thing before, so any tips greatly appreciated!