WARNING: There is self-harm in this!
Han Solo winces at the way-too-familiar feeling of cool metal against his wrist. It's been a long time since Solo has coped with his depression this way, and he's missed it if he's honest. For a while, Han thought he could find a less-destructive way to cope, or that perhaps he was getting over his depression. The smuggler was wrong. Here he is, in the middle of the night, sitting on the cold floor in a dimly lit bathroom on the Rebel Base.
Tears trickle down Han's face. He can't tell if he's crying from the pain of the cuts, or the pain inside of him. A badly-timed knock on the door makes him jump and create a too deep for comfort cut. He frantically digs through the drawers to find something for it. Solo settles with a large band-aid. He opens the door, hoping it's not Luke or Leia. For once in his life, something he's hoped for comes to pass, as it's just a pilot waiting patiently.
Han exchanges a quick smile before speed-walking back to his room. As he opens the door, his eyes widen as he realizes something: he didn't pull his sleeves down. It's fine… He probably didn't see the cuts. If he had, he would've said something. Han doubted his own thoughts. He noticed the cuts, but didn't say anything. Nobody here cares about him or his wounds.
The smuggler rests his head on his pillow, not wanting to sleep, not wanting to bring upon himself another dreadful day.
Han is woken by knocking on the door. "Who is it?!" He groggily shouts.
"It's Luke!"
"Come in!"
The door opens and Han sees his tiny friend enter. "Why are you sleeping so late?"
Han furrows his brow. "What time is it?"
"Noon, where you up late last night?"
The brunet stutters. "Uh, I suppose."
"Well, get up. You don't want to miss lunch, do ya?" Luke smiles before walking out.
Han sighs. "Yep, nothing like interacting with people who could care less about me." He whispers to himself.
As Han is walking to the table he, Leia, Luke and Chewy normally sit at, he notices the pilot from last night watching him. They both exchange smiles when they make awkward eye contact. Meanwhile, Han's on the verge of having a panic attack. He saw. He saw. He saw. Is all that's running through his mind at this moment.
Letting out a sigh of relief as he sits his food down beside Leia, he raises an eyebrow when he notices Luke isn't here. "Where's the kid at?"
"Well hi to you too." Leia replies instead.
"Hi, sweetheart. Where's Luke?"
"Hi, and he went to get a glass of milk."
Han looks over and his eyes widen as he sees Luke and the pilot talking. Oh no, please no. The pilot glances over at Han, worsening his anxiety.
"Han, are you okay?" Organa questions.
"What? No- Yeah! I'm fine!"
"Oh, Luke, before I go, there's something about Han I need to tell you."
"What?" Luke asks the fellow pilot as he sets his glass down.
"Last night, he walked out of the bathroom, and on his wrist were… uh… cuts. I brushed those off, but when I went in the bathroom, there was a bloodied razor on the floor."
Luke is immediately left speechless and heartbroken. His best friend, his brother… Tears well up in Skywalker's eyes. He nods before grabbing his glass and hurrying back to the table.
Han whistles quietly to himself as he walks down the hall back to his room. As he nears the bathroom, he wonders if he could in the daytime… He shakes his head, all he wants right now is a nap. Footsteps approaching causes Han to sigh and turn around.
"Hey, Han, can we talk?" Luke asks, out of breath from presumably jogging to catch up.
Han starts to internally panic. "Sure.. about what?'
"Well… It's best if we're in private."
The two walk into Han's room, and Luke sighs before continuing. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but earlier in the cafeteria I was talking to a fellow pilot, and he told me he ran into you last night,"
Solo slowly nods.
"And… he said he saw cuts on your wrist."
Han hesitates for a moment. "Yeah… I had an accident while working on the Falcon."
Luke frowns. "He also said he saw a bloody razor on the bathroom floor."
Kriff. Han mentally kicks himself. "Kid… I don't know what to say."
Skywalker embraces his best friend in a hug. "It's gonna be alright, Han. I'm here, you understand?" Han hugs back. "I understand…" Solo, for once in his life, smiles a genuine smile. "It's gonna be alright."